Yes, The Feral Hogs Are Indeed Coming For Your Children – SOME BOAR NEWS

Yes, The Feral Hogs Are Indeed Coming For Your Children – SOME BOAR NEWS

(upbeat music) – Hi, here’s some boar news, boars. Specifically, boars
coming for your children. Even more specifically, 30 to 50 of them. Remember how you laughed
good sir or madam, did you also laugh when I
warned you about this very thing a year ago or a year before that? Well, who’s laughing now? Huh! Huh! Huh! Not me. Because boars are coming
for your children. That’s why I made this
special report called, Boars are coming for your children. Now, just to recap. A previous episode of
this show and an episode of a legally distinct version
of this show have described in great detail the
painfully obvious threat of what began as a single radioactive boar originating from the Chernobyl area. Raw-dogging, raw-hogging its way through Europe and Asia only to begin spreading
its piggy seed all over the United States of America. It did this of course, by
using its radioactive powers to create a black hole, giving
it the ability to teleport. And before you start, no, radiation does not seriously affect the volume of boar sperm, Duh. I checked. We went through all of this and the fact that this new boar army is absolutely bonkers for radiation. So if this is your first boar video, I seriously encourage you to go catch up. Your life may depend on it. It was all tirelessly
handed to you by past Cody in the form of video evidence of multiple boars seemingly
appearing from nowhere such as bursting from
the (beeping) damn ocean, as well as countless reports of boars replacing entire
dwindling populations. I presented, very calmly and handsomely, evidence that these were
most likely Nazi experiments or possibly angry pig mutants originating from nuclear testing of old. I offered solutions, such
as a wall to keep them out. I even gave you very clear-cut evidence that these pigs might possess
psychic abilities brought on by the Chernobyl disaster, and yet no one took action. None of you believed me, despite the overwhelming visual evidence and undeniable fact that radiation mixed with a dwindling population, meant that boars would slowly become a dominant species of this planet. I warned you all and yet
we’ve barely seen any mention of the upcoming boar-pocalypse
in the mainstream media. Gee gee! Wow! Hmm. It’s almost as if someone doesn’t want you to know the truth. It’s almost as if our hard work
is being met with deaf ears. And so that’s why we’re here. To turn over that Dank
Rock and see the worms for what they really are. It’s time to expose the lies cuties. But first, since that last video full of the recent boar attack timeline, there’s been even more radioactive
teleporting boar attacks that I will now recap for you, to remind us what we’re fighting for. August 28th, 2018 a
pregnant woman in Punggol is attacked by a wild boar while she was walking to a bus stop. The boar later broke into a condominium where it was eventually captured. The woman’s husband later noted that it was totally unprovoked
before it literally attempted to assassinate his unborn child. October 26, 2018 a 48
year old man is trampled by a wild boar as he walked to work in the city of Fukuoka Japan. The boar is believed to have approached from a half mile away
to carry out his attack. It was later killed by hunters. Meanwhile, mere days later, a student at Kyushu
University broke four fingers after his bicycle collided
with a different boar assassin. Coincidence? January 3rd, 2019 one dead and 10 injured after a group of wild
boar suicide bomb traffic in northern Italy, causing
a massive highway pile-up. And if we’re not safe in
high-speed metal boxes, then where are we safe exactly? Nowhere. March 2nd, 2019 an elderly
woman in Temerloh, Malaysia, underwent a seven-hour operation after being attacked by multiple boars after she distracted them from going after her grandchildren, they were going for the kids. June 1st, 2019 a member of
the People’s Volunteer Corps in Malaysia is struck and
killed by a wild boar, terrorizing a road. A second man is critically injured. This is an attack on a government. July 5th, 2019 Maharashtra, India, a man is viciously attacked on camera as onlookers watch in horror, fully aware that there is just
no stopping the swine menace, the Hampton menace. You wanna (beeping) laugh some more, Huh? This is business that is serious. Serious business is what this is. You see, we love to sit
here on our American thrones and pretend like the
problem will never reach us. After all it appears that for now most of the hog news is
coming from overseas. In Barcelona, police
logged 1,187 phone calls about murderous boars. The fear that we will soon
feel has already reached Europe as well as China where wild
boar literally walk the streets of Hong Kong and
swine-related police calls rose from 294 to 738 in five years. Look at the size of them. Meanwhile, the people of
Rome are literally afraid to bring their children
outside because of the rise on boar violence around parks and schools. Parks and schools, the place children go. (upbeat music) And, Ahhh, (rumbling papers) Don’t get me started on Russia you guys. Oh, it’s too late because I’m started. I have started on Russia. Because, hey, what in
the fresh turkey hell is happening in Russia? Huh? There were multiple
explosions that the government does not enjoy discussing and
appear to involve radiation. The first one, was at a
military depot in Siberia, Aka the natural home to boars. The second one happened only days later in northern Russia and
killed seven people. And it was also accompanied
by a huge radiation spike and also maybe had something to do with a nuclear powered missile and also all the nuclear
monitoring stations went quiet after the explosion. And also Russia refuses to
share any data about the blast, which might have to do
with secret super weapons is of course what the
fake news cover story would have you believe. For the truth, you have
to go all the way back to September 29th, 1957 when the Kyshtym plutonium-processing plant exploded, contaminating a large chunk
of Russia and causing events, secret evacuation of the area. It was the third largest nuclear disaster in the history of the world. Still affecting parts of Russia
and no one talks about it. Which is weird because
it just so happens that, beginning in the 60s
the population of boars in and around Russia began
to skyrocket for some reason. This swineful bone-fest
lasted until the 1980s when it briefly leveled out
before suddenly skyrocketing a second time in the 1990s and
Gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, gee, I wonder what else happened
in the late eighties hmm. How weird. Almost as weird as how we’re getting a brand new rise in boar right after the second-worst nuclear disaster in 2011. Are your eyes open yet? (upbeat music) So is Vladimir Putin secretly a boar? And is this why we’re getting these mysterious spikes in radiation? It’s a very good question, but surprisingly, the answer is no. The much more realistic theory is that Putin has been accidentally
locked into an alliance with the rising boar population due to his quite public love of tigers. Putin has over the years
worked hard to save the Siberian tiger from extinction. And in an interview has
outlined that the main solution is to introduce natural
prey into their environment. Specifically boars. This means that while these radioactive Siberian
snout-demons are a terror, they’re also vital in bringing back another species that Putin loves. This gives the swine leverage over him, which in turn gives
him swine leverage over another world leader. A Guy I think you might know. Secret hog war, boars in America
and therefore your backyard and possibly right behind
you as you watch this video, look out for boars. Now that I’ve blown your
minds with news from overseas, it’s time to face the bleak
reality here in the states. A reality that, when you were warned about from this honest patriot
living in Arkansas, you were laughed at. Way to go. Way to laugh at this man in Arkansas, a state that is as we speak,
being overrun by fellow hogs and might even be completely hogs by the time we release this video. – [Narrator] This is a rice field, spots that you see are damaged from hogs. – [Presenter] A crop duster captured the mess left behind from the hogs. – [Narrator] It’s just unbelievable how much they had damaged. – [Presenter] And you can see where they turned these
soybean crops into a buffet. – [Narrator] Could see you’re
in a road where they come in at night and waller around. Mike holes tear stuff up. – By all accounts, this
toothpick state is ground zero for these violent soy boys and yet we dare mock someone trying to
protect their children? Who are the real animals here? The answer is the boar. The boar are the real animals that are coming for your children. Because again, we love
to cluck our fat tongues and proclaim that this
would never happen to us. Meanwhile, the United States
is being quietly filled up by an army of Wilbur’s starving
for our American spawn. You think this is cute? It’s exactly what they want. And Arkansas is just one state. We’re seeing this all over the country. In Trumbull County Ohio, residents are currently
battling a boar influx. Down in Florida, a 400 pound hog was captured
near a school bus stop because again, they want our children. A year after that, another 350 pound hog was found not five miles
away from the first one. In Missouri, they have so
many (beeping) damn hogs that they have to battle
them from the sky. Oh, and Austin, Texas, might as well be called Boarstin. Boarstin, Texas. Be sure to check out the new
Rob-Boar Rod-pig-uez film at the Allamo Drafthouse, Boar Pun. And don’t think moving
to Canada will help you. Because Canadian boar are
not only a huge problem, but one that’s spilling
across our boarders. They are (beeping) everywhere (beeping), they’re (beeping) each other everywhere. And if you’re thinking, okay, well let’s all apologize
to 30 to 50 feral hog guy and start a nationwide effort
to hunt these creatures down. Well guess what? Hunting doesn’t work. And in fact makes the problem worse. Along with our crops and in time children, these creatures feed
off of our aggression, meaning that the only
thing we can really do is capture and contain. Assuming they don’t tear
apart from our grasp and even the non-mutant hogs average about 200 pounds run 30 miles per hour, can jump three feet in the air
and are extremely adaptable. Also, it really doesn’t help that they’re being secretly helped by some of the most powerful
people in the world. The same people who don’t want you to watch this very video you are watching. Underground boar conspiracy? Much, look, there is definitely
an underground network of A-list celebrities, possible Nazi scientists
and political figures that are secretly helping this boar enemy. Why else would we have actually tried to nominate a pig president in the 1960s and some kind of like political statement? Grow up. Now obviously there are a few
misled individuals out there who are simply unaware of the boar threat and will inevitably be forced to repent when the dust settles. And when the time comes, we should absolutely show them compassion. These are people who
want to protect the boar and inadvertently create propaganda for the enemy at every turn. Their hearts are in the right place, but their brains have
underestimated the full scale of the boarvasion at hand. But then there are the more
seemingly nefarious stories. Like these farmers recently jailed for smuggling boar semen
in shampoo bottles. Who put them up to this? Who stands to gain the most from harboring pig-jeez
across international lines? Is it boar who stand to gain? This news dude, thinks, yes. Farmers and scientists appear
to be the biggest defenders in this quiet push for boar supremacy. At first glance, you would
assume it’s for the purposes of creating a better pork, but then why in the
hell is this happening? That Bebop-in-training you see is a genetically modified
double-muscled mutant pig being bred in Cambodia. According to Newsweek, we don’t really know how they
are being created or why. But of course I think we all
really know the answer to that. (upbeat music) Meanwhile, China is creating
genetically modified low-fat pigs that can better
survive cold climates. And in Scotland they’re creating a breed of swine that
is immune to disease. This is literally the starting
point for planet of the apes. The creation of cold
and disease-resistance, swole super pigs is 100% what will lead our world
into certain oblivion that, and the climate change. Which is helping their populations thrive. So it’s like, the number one reason we need to be worried
about genetic experiments in climate change. So that’s the scientific and farming side of these hog aiders. Who brazenly exist within our society and can easily be identified. What is far more dangerous
are those who lurk without any media coverage or news of any kind. Something I will now demonstrate with a news article about them. Prepare yourselves for
boar island is real. Not a week before we recorded this video, the website for W Magazine
bravely put out an expose on the so-called Pig Beach. An island in the Bahamas that has welcomed powerful celebrities and political influencers for decades. The name is quite literal. As back in the late nineties
several Y2K preppers brought a group of pigs
to this remote location in the event of societal collapse. Over the years, the swine have run loose, probably taken control
of the entire island. Since then, they’ve
hosted many Kardashians as well as a handful of fashion models and Internet influencers. All of whom are completely at the mercy of the surly snotty occupants. (screaming) (foreign language) – [Narrator] Let’s see. Wooh! – But it’s not all pig attacks. I mean, it usually is. Including this time where one of the Fyre Festival founders got bit square on the balls by a pig. Something that, you know, we should all take a
moment to really save her. But it’s not all attacks, nor is it just the vapid celebrities going to this island to
get their sacks munched. Don’t believe Cody? Look who else has been to this Pig Island? Yep. That is Donald Trump Jr, having some kind of private meeting with what I can only
assume are the leaders of this tiny swine nation. What did they talk about? How long did the meeting take place and why has no one in the
Trump family addressed this? Was his ball sack also ravaged? Is that why we’ve never seen
Donald Trump Jr scrotum? #ReleaseYourScrotalRecords. We need answers fast because someone is already beginning
to cover their tracks. Thanks to a series of mysterious
pig-deaths on the islands. Which happen conveniently out of sight from any security cameras or supervision. I (beeping) dare you to call me paranoid. So to recap, there is
an international cabal of powerful world leaders and influencers who are clearly helping
arising pig revolution. A new boar ogre who have extorted them into providing swine empowering radiation and genetically enhanced Hulk bodies, all of which centralize around this one mysterious luxury island. It’s all right here in
this 4Chan post I found. Just staring us in the face. What is seemingly a harmless boar-joke is actually a multilevel code. Take all of the uppercase
letters and assign them a numerical value based on
their place in the alphabet. Then add them together and
you get the number 109. Do the same with every
first letter of each word and you get 90. Average those together and you get 99.5 round that up, you get a hundred which
happens to be the sum you get when adding the
coordinates for Pig Beach baby. Not to mention that the last sentence charges at you clearly
stands for C-A-Y, Aka, K Aka, an island of boars. Oh, are you still not convinced? How about what happens when
you take the first letters of the only capitalized words,
S C W and add those together? You get 45. As in the 45th president
of the United States. You know, the guy who
cut funding for the USDA at the height of their battle with boar. It’s right there people. Come on, slurp my big red pill. Speaking of pills, by
hours, they’re sawdust. But what do we do? Obviously we keep demanding the truth. Maybe we start a kick-starter, that will send me to
this exotic beach island to get to the bottom of some things and a few other islands
and maybe a cruise, but also we need to vote out the leaders who are clearly pro-boar. Leaders like Donald Trump, who obviously knows more
than what he’s letting on. Then we take on Putin after that. Specifically and only
because of this pig stuff. This is the main reason to do this. (upbeat music) Finally, if we can’t kill the boar, we might wanna take their own method and use it against them. We need a permanent boar island as suggested by a district counselor in Hong Kong not too long ago. Every country can have their own, and since there are
around 5 million wild boar in the United States, within the island that can
handle all of that and more. Like, we bought like
Greenland for the boar. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Vote for whoever says
they’re gonna buy Greenland. And then we can all rest a little easier and ensure a future that is safe for our children and grandchildren. Good job everybody, but
especially me, Cody, The rain forest is on fire. (upbeat music) Rain forest is on fire on purpose. (giggling) What’s up everybody? Thanks for watching our 50th episode, where we make sure to like and subscribe and comment in all the YouTube
stuff that you can think of and check out our podcast, even our news in our if you’d like to support us and we have a tpublic/user/somemorenews
for merchandise. And I love you.


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