Why I'm not on social media.

Why I'm not on social media.

– People always but be asking me why aren't you on social media? The purpose of this video
isn't to convince you to get rid of Facebook, like
I don't care what you do. These are just my reasons,
my personal reasons. Are there any other reasons
besides personal ones? I got on Facebook my
freshman year of college and was on it for a few
months before I was like, overwhelmed with it
and I had to delete it. I couldn't stand seeing
everyone's life, you know, their highlight reel on social media. I was, like looking too much
into other people's lives and it was making me feel really bad. So I got rid of Facebook. Then, a couple of years
ago, I got on Twitter and was on that for just a couple months. I kind of feel like sick after you're on Twitter for a while. You're just like, this is
the stupidest place ever, I hate this place. I hate the world. Instagram, I've never really been on. The most I've been on it
was stalking this girl I dated for a couple
of weeks who crushed me when she ghosted me,
but I kept tabs on her, in a creepy way. So anyway, what are my actual reasons for not being on social media? (saddening music) Why aren't I? Why don't I just sign up now? What are the reasons? The first big reason that
I'm not on social media is because it's just such a time waste. It's a huge time suck for me. Now I'm sure lots of you
probably know how to use social media in a moderated
way that is reasonable. Not me. If I were to get back on social media I would waste hours a day on it. I already experience it with YouTube. I don't consider YouTube
to be social media, because it's a totally different dynamic. Facebook it's like, we're
friends, we're keeping in touch on real life, on the internet. YouTube is like, I'm creating videos and putting it out there for an audience. It's an actor audience relationship. It's not a friends in
real life relationship, you understand what I mean? Why was this the? But I experienced this on YouTube already where I waste so much time on YouTube. And I mean, I can justify it because my channel's doing okay. I know that this is
what I would do if I was on Facebook or Twitter
and it's like you get these little dopamine hits when people, like when I see the views,
when I look at the view counts and I read the comments on my videos, you know, I'll admit, like,
it's kind of an ego boost. It's a dopamine hit. And it's like addictive, I
keep coming back to look at it and see what else have people said. And it's the same with
Facebook that, you know, I keep checking on what,
"Do people like my post? What did people comment on my photo?" The big difference is, these videos are a controlled kind of creation. This isn't like my pure
real life I'm showing you. Whereas if it's Facebook or whatever, it's sort of like my
real life and so I feel like it would be much more hurtful and much more addictive,
like the two extremes if I had a Facebook or
Twitter and people were reacting to like, the
real things in my life. Whereas on YouTube I can
sort distance myself from it and be like "Okay, what did people think about my creations?" It's not really about me,
except when people comment how good looking I am. So yeah, I'd waste a ton of time and I would become addicted to it. I'm not really good at moderating anything so it's basically either be a total addict or get off of it so that's
one of the big reasons why. Related to that secondarily,
and as I mentioned before, I just felt like crap
whenever I was on social media comparing myself to other
people's lives and you know, that's what it is basically is people, most people, go on social
media especially Facebook and present themselves,
it's their highlight reel. Their life is great, man. Look at all the places I've traveled, look at my new job, look at the fun thing I did last weekend, look at my significant other, look at my dog, look at my children. Not everyone does this and not everyone does it intentionally but it happens a lot. I just, I hate that. I don't want to be a part of it. I don't want to, I have
such a low opinion of myself that if I see other people
putting on this front of being well-adjusted
and competent human beings and contributing members of society, it's gonna make me feel even
worse, if that's possible. Even if people are genuinely
nice, I don't wanna see it. I suppose a legitimate
reason for using Facebook is to keep in touch
with family and friends that you've moved away from
or something like that. Or you just don't get to see very often. Okay, yeah. The thing with showing photos though, is before Facebook, before computers, if you wanted to show someone photos you had to sit down with them
and show them the photos. And you're giving them context with what you're showing them. So it's like an active
thing, it's interactive, you're talking to the other person, it's a bonding experience. With Facebook though, it's
this totally passive thing where you put up your pictures, and people can look at 'em. Yeah you can ask people, "Hey Uncle Joe, look at my pictures
'cause I went to China." But for the most part,
it's sort of just like you post it up there and hope
that your 800 Facebook friends will passively find their way
to it and then comment on it and it's just all these
pictures of very little context. Sure you can write a caption
but there's no bonding. I just got to see a few
instance of your life and got to see all the cool stuff you did and how happy you are, great. There's like the really
human element that's missing and I also think it's
weird that it's so passive. And, you know, so many people
have friends on Facebook who are people that aren't
really even in their life. Why do I need to see what some person I knew in high school is doing now? Why do I need to see the
photos of someone I met at a party and we, you know,
had a good conversation and we friended each other, why do I now need to
look through their album of their cousin's bar mitzvah? Now you can say "Yeah,
Frank you don't have to look through it." Yeah right. But I also just think it's
weird, why would you want them to look through your stuff, why would you want to
make it available for them to have a window into your life? Maybe that's just me. I don't like people having
windows into my lives. Except for the 13,000 of you
subscribed to this channel. That brings me to my next point is, I don't like being available. I don't like being connected. I like my life to be very
separate from everyone else and for me to have,
like, control over when I interact with other people. And the thing about social
media is that you're constantly connected with other people. Even if you're not actively connected, you know, you friended
someone and now they have this constant window into your life. And they can look back on
your whole life, you know. Your pictures from, you know,
2012 when you were dating that guy you haven't talked to in years. Now I can go and look at that because you haven't taken
it down for some reason. Why would you keep it up? I don't know. And the thing is, so many people, you see people with all
these Facebook friends. It seems like most people that I know when I've looked at their
profiles, they have like, between 800 and 1000 friends. Sure, you can have that many
acquaintances or whatever and I understand, like,
maybe you meet someone who can become a good business
contact later and whatever. But this has taken so much of
the work out of being sociable that's it's really
cheapening all relationships. If we didn't have Facebook
and I wanted to possibly get in contact with you in the future, I would have to make the effort to like, write down your phone number
or get your email address or something. Now it's just like, I'll friend you and I'll keep you on
reserve if I ever need to get in contact with you. Meanwhile you can look
at all the pictures of my Cinco del Mayo party. I don't want to be closely connected with a bunch of acquaintances like that. The way the world is supposed to work is you pass in and out
of other people's lives. And if you wanna stay
in someone else's life, you make the effort. But now we have this thing
where you're never really fully passed out of someone's life but that's the thing, is
there's this natural thing of okay, well, we went
to high school together now we have no reason to
come in contact anymore. That's gone. A lot of my friends from high school are still friends on Facebook
even though they never talk. Why?
What's the point? And then that makes it
that much more special when you run into each other in person because you're not, you know, you haven't thought of them, they're not on your friend list. Now I know not all your– Even if you have a thousand friends that doesn't mean you're
checking all their profiles but, you know what I'm saying. What really bugs me about not
being on social media though is that so many people
they don't think about you when you're not on it. I can't count how many times there's been like an event or a party of something where they're like, "Oh
well, you're invited but you're not on Facebook so that's why you didn't get the invitation." It's like, no, I wasn't invited. If you didn't reach out to
me then I wasn't invited. Sure, maybe you thought about it, but if you didn't take that
next step of calling me or something, then I wasn't invited. And, "Oh, you weren't on Facebook" is kind of a, that's such a dumb excuse. Yeah I'm not on Facebook but
I still have a phone number, and email address, and I
exist in the real world. You could have told me any of those ways. One of the big things that
came up a couple years ago during the presidential election and I'm so glad I wasn't
on social media then, is people decide that,
okay, I'm going to spout my political opinions. It's like, I don't care. People who in real life never expressed any political opinion will suddenly like stand on a soapbox and
start to wax poetical about their beliefs and how, you know, the injustices of the world
and what we've gotta do and how could you vote for this person. It kind of makes you not like your friend who in real life never would
have said these things. But with a keyboard and
the platform of their wall. And it doesn't matter if
your political opinion agrees or disagrees
with me, I just find it like not tasteful to get on a soapbox and say to your friends you know, this is what I think and you're wrong if you don't think what I think. You know, a lot of people
during that election were like, you're immoral if you don't believe what I believe. Which is like, dude, come on. You don't know anything, really? Like I don't know anything either which is why I'm not posting about it. It's what you might call virtue signaling. There's a lot of virtue
signaling on social media. A lot of humble brags too
where it's like, you know, "Just coming back from
my day of volunteering and my model photo shoot." Let me know what you
think in the comments. Are you on social media? Do you find some value in it? What do you think about
what are my reasons for not being on it? I mean honestly, I don't
see the value in it. But I'm not here to tell
you to get off of it. I don't care. Thank you so much for watching. If you liked it give me a thumbs up. If this video gets 2,500
likes something will happen. If you haven't subscribed already hit the subscribe button at
least a few times for good luck. Until next time stay cool and attractive. (vibrant music)


38 thoughts on “Why I'm not on social media.”

  • PewDiePies Dingleberries says:

    In natural irl socialization we subconsciously attract those people who resonate with us and have a purpose in out life. On facebook its forced interaction because its full of ppl we are incompatible w at present time

  • Twitter to me has always seemed like everyone yelling on a bullhorn into a big void, all at once. I never saw the point in it.

  • He do sound like he's high though BUT thats the only reason i watch his videos. Maybe thats my thing. Im not even an INFJ.

  • I totally get everything you're saying. I really love watching your videos. I havent felt like I was really understood in a while. Personally, I still have facebook as I have a couple friends on their that I like to keep tabs on if that makes any sense. I dont let myself post anything and I rarely share or comment on things. I personally hate social media simply because I feel like everyone is creating fake identities for either themselves or other people. Everyone is doing basically the same thing just with different items.(Sorry, that probably made no sense whatsoever) I feel the pressure to like something because a friend liked it or I want to share something that someone else shared but then everyone will think I'm just trying to be like them or something, ya know? I just hate the feeling that people are judging me based off that. I hate that so much.

  • Thank you so much Frank I feel identical to you with social media I just found out about my personality trait yesterday I knew I was different I’ve known it for a long time but now I know what it is and my mind is blown yeah Facebook social media it has its place in business in the marketplace but as far as friendships go yes it has disrupted the natural sequence that we know as friendship

  • I 💯% agree with you Frank. I have deleted my Facebook long ago because of the same reason as you. I opened an account on Twitter some years ago for some 4-5 days then just deleted it and uninstalled it. Never went back since. Thank you from a fellow-INFJ ( me ) .

  • I made one just to keep in contact with far fanily but don't explore. The app is a big Negative NO. I hevent been on FB over…..2months. Last time i went is just to put Likes on my Happy Bday comments and such. One time i changed the date of my Birthday to April 1st. then said April Fools. Was funny but later felt a little sad for obvious reason that almost nobody knows anybody's Birthday. INSANE.

  • FB had to be removed from myself when my psychotic (ex) gf had me pay $100 4 a hotel room for us and 30 minutes later her phone rang and she had an uber outside & said she'd be back in an HR. Or so…………….after being out bar hopping with a few drinks in me and nobody to listen to me rant bc do you seriously think she came back in an HR?
    So it became just LinkedIn and Poof! which is fake beggars now; so ❌'d it..and now it's just Bumble and Cupid which is full of mutes who are all terrified of communicating after liking someone..??wtf??? Plus FB should be called narccisists.com.

  • I feel the same way about FB and Twitter. Hate them. I still have FB for the invites but deleted my Twitter account. I prefer Instagram. I can be creative with my photos and I've found more like-minded friends on IG then my own town!!

  • Why it's a waste of time being on social media:
    (1) Too many MESSAGES from the external world taking up space in my internal world;
    (2) making every day people feel like they are something special or mini-celebrities in their hometown (false self?);
    (3) I keep it as a record/journal/timekeeper of my crap and care less about others crap;
    (4) it plays on my moods and then I can't function the rest of the day; and
    (5) who is REALLY benefiting from this? What is the prime motive for social media? What is its' ulterior motive for existing in this capitalistic upside down society of a place?
    If there was a good reason for it? To watch my nephew grow up and know that my best friend from grade school is still alive.

    Love that you said, "You pass in and out of people's lives and if you want to stay in someone's life you make the effort." That's a good point.
    Can I just say you crack me up: "I still have a phone number, an email address, and I exist in the real world." I love it! It's so my humor… subtle digs of sarcasm going from 0 to 60. That's how I describe our humor anyways. Good point about the political thing… -__-

  • I'm basically on all social media, but I have this wanting of just deleting my accounts for the same reasons you mention. Especially facebook, but I feel like I can't because I'm in facebook groups relating to my work and school, where there MIGHT be important information shared that they do not share anywhere else.

    I do see value in instagram and snapchat though, as I use those as main ways of communicating actually (as opposed to text messages and calling). Also I feel like instagram could be sort of like youtube, depending on how you use it, in the sense that you could create content for an audience. A few months back I created a separate account where I do not follow anyone I know in real life, only people I do not know that I find inspiring, that has valuable and positive content.

  • Pinkytrinky 99 says:

    Me too all of it. I couldn't delete facebook ultimately because I felt like that was too final, if that makes sense, but I have not checked it in six months, I kind of fear it. I dislike all of facebook, I used to love it in the beginning but that was when we all sent each other sheep and flowers 🙂 Ha

  • I just want a social platform where i can share the things i find interesting.. with my friends and possibly new friends.
    But i aint sharing my life. NO. Its just a platform to VOICE OUT for me. Nothing less, nothing more.
    But thats exactly what social media is about. Showing off merits and being bitter about your problems. I got called out for not posting much pictures. But like you said.. i dont care about what a lot of them do with their lives. And why should anyone else care about mine? So there's no point of me posting pictures like there's no tomorrow.

    Also i value authenticity. Staring afar while tucking my hair behind my ear is honestly not what im like. In any candid pic you take, i either look awkward or bored.

    I can never post fake pictures. It makes me feel really bad if i see people liking a picture like that. Because im not THAT person.

    I like to inspire people with new quotes on life. But apparently, that's so BORING.

    Also, there's the problem with comparison and social media's view on perfection.
    And i dont want to be depressed.

    Also i hate people who show off on social media. Its not a 'healthy' hatred. One day i might just put a story, calling them out by elaborating how stupid 'some people' on social media are. I'm going to be creating haters with my opinionated mind.. so NO THANKS SOCIAL MEDIA. I'M GOOD.

  • Claudia Aquino says:

    Watching people on social media having the perfect life, yet seeing them in real life being miserable!
    I’m in the fitness industry!
    I finally deleted people with their daily selfies!
    These people are pretty empty!

  • Paused around 6:30 and time Stamped 6:18. That is the main reason why I questioned and deleted my facebook about a year ago. At times, I felt like the past was holding me back and other times FB and the people on it wasn't doing anything beneficial to my life, so I decided to 'break up' with 'them' and start a new life.

  • kimberly donk says:

    I recently deleted my fb and Twitter accounts, it's been a few days but I'll tell you, I literally feel like my whole mind was poisoned by that crap, I literally feel like my body is detoxing from a drug. I was on it for years and I noticed that I've been suffering a great deal of depression for all these years and finally I had enough and said no more.. One of the best decisions in my life deleting social media out of my life. I'm starting to feel a little better now .

  • You have good reasons for your choice. My husband's "friends" on Facebook led to the end of my marriage. I still look at Facebook often, though. I don't share much, but I like doing research on what interests people and it helps me stay a bit more connected with my friends and family who live on the other side of the world. I'm also involved in marketing and I like to see how companies market their products. I'm an INFJ, but I don't seem to struggle with comparing my life to others. Is that odd? Maybe I've finally become comfortable with being "different".

  • Most INTP like myself and my other friends, but we don't really have that much friends don't we?, lol. We like to have at least one, for me it's insta, why?.. well it gave me some thing to fill up free times. Other times it feels like a good solid window to understand other people as u know INTP never understands people.

  • Angelica White says:

    I'm not in social media at all. It's the Devil! I love YouTube, though. I learned how to play the guitar, how to cook, learn about myself and find people like you, without having to actually interact.

  • INFJ here. It can be very difficult when everyone around me doesn't get what I say or do and they don't appreciate the stuff I go out of my way to do for them on a daily basis. I have enjoyed watching your vids. Thank you for taking the time to interact with us in this way.

    I have always gotten the lecture that I should go out there and interact, date, etc. I even took a class on interpersonal relationships in college many years ago, which is how I found out I was an INFJ in the 1st place. Go figure.

    Anyway. I have Facebook and can actually name all of the people I have friended (about 25 I think) since I know most of them IRL and the couple of them that I don't were added since the IRL ones suggested them. I have kept many as friends, but blocked their uploads since they got annoying, as you explained. I can take about 10 minutes every couple days to see the up-to-date posts on FB and be fine with it.

    Another reason for not wanting to be on social media is the toxicity of people out there and being so empathic eats away at me when I see bad/sad things on a daily basis, which is why, like you said in another vid, I don't watch the news. I don't watch, not because I don't believe what I see and want to have happiness and rainbows, it is precisely because I can feel the horrible stuff and know exactly how horrible people can be that I don't want it to affect my day. I have enough pain/sadness to deal with of my own. I don't need to have someone else's on top of mine.

    I have been able to overcome some of my faults and walls, but it gets difficult and I cannot explain it to my family and few friends, most of whom I don't actually interact much with except about 8 of them, because they don't get it and don't want to hear it. It can be a daily struggle to just get up and my dedication to my routine and will power to get paid to live are the only things keeping me going sometimes.

    As part of my job, I have to verify information that is sent to me from strangers and/or talk to them on the phone and, even though I have done the same job for over 11 years, it still gets to me. Confrontation makes me physically ill and some of these people have such a sense of self-entitlement and anger that it gets to me sometimes.

    I normally need to listen to music, eat something comforting, watch stuff, or just try to get away and relax; otherwise, I would just cry all day long in my room, which I cannot do.

    Sorry for ranting, but I had to vent a little. I don't really have many friends and the ones I do I don't talk to much except to listen when they need it sometimes on a very rare basis. =^_^=

  • My reasons are the same like yours. I managed to not be on social media since forever and nothing negative has happened yet. It’s funny how similar you seem to me, the kind of steam of consciousness way of speaking. I do the same talk in my car as if I was talking to an audience sometimes. Be it written or verbal, the out is the result of what’s been concocting in my head.

  • Alberto González Olay says:

    Youtube is like one of the XXI century TV, not social media really, or it could be its secondary feature.

    I have facebook account which sometimes use for find spiritual groups, a twitter to find news, an instagram to pickup millenial girl's contact (which is not the same as dating, thats another metric), and a linkedin to message workers inside a company I want to work in, use them when need them, uninstall the apps from my phone and forget them.

  • dude i like what you talk about, mad respect, i've just binged watched about 2 hours of your content, informative but also has what you THINK in it, im with you in the no social media boat tho haven't been on in over 2 years, social media is fake news and even faker smiles for keyboard warriors to say stuff they would never say in person. in my opinion. all the best buddy

  • 😂😂😂😂 i only got on facebook on my freshmen years too 😂😂😂 (most probably INFP here, tho) i hate socialmedia. I only love youtube 😊

  • I left Facebook a few days ago. I desactived it so I can go back whenever I want, but I really hope I can do without it. I have so much more time now, and I'm not involved in stupid Belgian political arguments (as an INFJ I can't help but give my sincere opinion and I'm or I was kinda into politics), but Facebook was so unhealthy for me. I'm glad I got rid of it!

  • Den1sVengeance says:

    Holy Sh man, I can relate so much to the things you are going through (not just based on one video) and the hair 😀 done that. The only reason I keep facebook is to not miss out on certain connections and events. Every time I open it, after 5 minutes I ask myself wtf am I doing here?? 😀

  • Michelle Adelle Pienaar says:

    Ah. I asked you a couple days ago if you have Instagram lol…. now i know 🙈🦄🧚🏻‍♂️ thanks.
    Also an infj. Confusing contradicting life 🥺. Got my degree in Psychology and can help others but not myself 😬🦄🧚🏻‍♂️🌻
    Agree with the social media thing though. Thanks for all the videos Frank. Thoroughly enjoying it xo

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