– I’m a teacher,
that’s my day job. I teach. I teach Intro to Writing at USC. I hope that nobody here
is affiliated with USC. If you are keep everything I say a secret. I had one of the star
football players in my class. I told the class they can
write a story about anything. He wrote a story about
wanting to fuck his teacher. (crowd laughs) Honestly, very nice. (crowd laughs) My name is Amy Silverberg, and that story the teacher’s
name was Jamie Goldstein. (crowd laughs) Very close. (crowd laughs) In that story he said, that he wanted to have
sex with the teacher on the handlebars
of his bicycle. And then afterward she
would like it very much, and feel fulfilled. (crowd laughs) I was like, you took the
teacher’s pleasure into account? B+ baby, right? (crowd laughs) Not everybody does. You have to reward
them when they do. I look young so the female
students always email me really familiarly in
like lowercase letters. (crowd laughs) One of my students
emailed me, and she goes Dear Amy, I won’t be
coming to class today. I took the morning after
pill, and I don’t feel well. Dot, dot, dot, you
know how it is. (crowd laughs) I was like, why do I know, of course I know how it is. I was like stay home,
I use the Nuvaring. It’s very confusing. It comes out on the
dick half the time, like a hula hoop. (crowd laughs) We’re still figuring
it out, you know. I got a fan letter. I got my first fan letter. (crowd cheers) Yes, thank you, thank you. It wasn’t from stand up. It was because I published
a story in a magazine, and a man emailed me
through my website, and he said, I just want
to let you know that, that story you wrote
kept me up at night, especially the scene where the
woman’s in the kitchen, wow. And I wrote back, and I said, thank you so much
for saying that. And then he wrote back,
can I cum on your tits? (crowd laughs) What an elaborate troll. (crowd laughs) This guy read my fiction. People don’t read,
he analyzed it. So I wrote back, and I said,
it’s may I cum on your tits? (crowd laughs and cheers) Cause you got to get
the grammar correct. I myself went to a
big party college. Yes, yes. I went to UC Santa Barbara. I used to have a friend at that
time who would get so drunk, she would come home,
take out a frozen waffle, be too drunk to put
it in the toaster. Go up to her top bunk, put it in between
her hot thighs. (crowd laughs) And eat it like that,
partially defrosted. (crowd laughs) This friend’s now 30. I reminded her of
this, she goes, Oh yeah, the waffle trick. (crowd laughs) I still do that sometimes
on the way to work. (crowd laughs) I was like, that’s so deranged. (crowd laughs) You could eat a protein bar. You could intermittent fast. And she said, I
like to eat the Eggo from in between my leggos. (crowd laughs) Which is such a good motto. I was like, you got
to keep doing that. I’m of the age
where I’m going to a lot of bachelorette parties. I don’t know if
anyone here has been to a bachelorette party. – [Audience] Yeah. – Yes, good. Last one I went to we
played this game where we asked the future husband
a bunch of questions, recorded his responses,
and then in real time asked the future wife, see
if their answers matched up. The questions were like, Where’s the craziest
place you had sex? Or, when did you know
you were in love? We asked her, what’s your
deepest, darkest secret? She said, well this is
incredibly embarrassing, but I know that this is
what he would’ve said. So, I’ll just say it, I like having my nipples
played with, and sucked. That’s your deepest,
darkest secret? (crowd laughs) She goes no, no, no, no, no, no, she says, I’m afraid
that when I have a baby, it’s going to nurse, and
I’m going to get turned on, (crowd laughs) and cum. (crowd laughs) We said, what the fuck
is wrong with you! Then we played her
future husband’s
response on the monitor, and he goes, her
deepest, darkest secret, she once had Jack In The
Box five nights in a row. (crowd laughs) She said, please
don’t tell anyone. (crowd laughs) Alright, I’m going to leave
you guys with one more. Have any of you been skydiving? (crowd cheers) That’s great. I went skydiving for
the first time recently. When you go skydiving
for the first time you get attached to someone. I was attached to
someone very tall. When he saw me, he said,
oh good I like em small. So I was like, this is
great, this can’t go wrong. I was then attached to his dick. (crowd laughs) When he walked my legs
flailed in the air. Then we sat in the plane for
what felt like a lifetime. And he whispered into my ear,
You’d make a great jockey. (crowd laughs) Not the worst compliment
a man has ever given me. Right before he
jumped out, he goes, do you want regular or extreme? I was like, I want
regular you fucking loon. I’ve never been
skydiving before. (crowd laughs) So then he jumped
out, me attached. Proceeded to give me a tour of his hometown of
Lompoc, California. Wind rushing through his hair, he’s like that’s The
Cheesecake Factory, where I met my girlfriend. That’s the park where she
fucking broke up with me. That’s my duplex. I have a roommate, we
get a pretty good deal. We have a balcony. We grill out,
weather permitting. (crowd laughs) Then when we landed he goes, ooo I barely felt you. That’s why I like em small. I feel as though I’m on my own. This guy gave a tour to himself. (crowd laughs)
Red Dog 13 says:
Great set!!
Corey Clark says:
That closer was funny.
Logan says:
Am i the only one who thinks this isn't funny at all? maybe her voice and cadence
krono069 says:
I was the student that wrote that story…
Shawn J says:
Leave the kids out
Steve Doe says:
Good stuff.
That last bit with skydiving , everything was great…except the punchline.
XXXDeathByFartsXXX says:
Amy, you looking for a husband?
Droid6689 says:
Meh
Annie Wong says:
Go gauchos!!!! We Stan!
abcdefg news says:
I saw her set at UCB
Jack MeHoff says:
I literally laughed my pants off…..you should see her kissing a dildo on twitter.
Jacob M says:
I go to usc lol
SqueeBopBadoo says:
I wish women could be funny without relying on sexuality. Such a cop out 🙄😴
Elijaah Clark says:
Have sex with her on his bike??? Was it juju smith schuster that wrote it ? 😂💀
Demitri Ruttle says:
Fight on I wish you were my professor for intro. My jiu jitsu coach is actually a comedian so I was at the store a lot unfortunately I never caught your set. I absolutely loved it hope you continue to succeed!
Hayden Beatty says:
girl u rly told the internet where u work,,, r u ok like b careful
Zack Zack says:
The Moglomech travel form is a rip from the Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann anime. Also, why does the armor always look cooler in AQW than AQ3D.
Pro Steam says:
Another set comprised of “throw away” jokes….. Probably much funnier respectively whilst teaching class….
Michael corrigan says:
Nice stand up!
apexslider says:
Leggo Eggo = LPT
angel n says:
As soon as she said ussanta barbara and skydiving. I was waiting for her to mispronounce Lompoc. It's Lom poke.
Depter says:
The hole crowd is young men trying to get a (A)
If you know what I mean
Nathaniel Russell says:
Why are there so many comedians who are teachers? There is no other job with the same level communication practice and trauma involved that funnels people so quickly into comedy.
Papa Pagurus says:
Women are funny, Just get over it.
SWEEPTHELEG says:
Of course a UCSB girl knows how it is.
Octopus Lol says:
Hottest teacher
Dylan K says:
Damn, she was good. Great stories, great delivery. Hope to see more from her
YOGI MrEmerald says:
She’s hot
Castle Ford says:
She was pretty funny. Good use of timing and subverting expectations. She's obviously studied her craft.
Glad I didn't get burned.
Doh Joe Gringo says:
Women are SO funny. 🙄
Boo.
Deadbeat Affiliates says:
The best part about this video is the lady who is absolutely losing her mind in the back.
G Nk says:
She is almost good…. just tone it down with the "I'm a lady bet you didn't think I'd talk about gross sex stuff! SO EDGY!" "MY VAGINA"
Come on girls you're getting to the "A white guy cheats his taxes, but a black guy cheats his bookie… When the white guy gets caught Black guy doing a white guy voice explanation to the cops but when the black guy gets caught he bugs out his eyes and fake runs " 60% of every black comedian's jokes
I mean uck come on… you're a writer… and you did the vagina jokes?
Apart from that her delivery is pretty good… and the last joke needs some work.
KIX_LOVE says:
I'll be honest here : Most female comics overplay stories related to their look/sexual life but she really downplayed it well. Would love to see/hear more from the future. And I rarely finish female comics set attractive or not.
Slew One says:
go Gauchos!!!!!
Aleah Alaze says:
She’s funny 😂😂😂
MORBID ANGUISH says:
why does like every female comedian talk only bout sex jokes.
Vam Yang says:
Boring
John Kugelfischer says:
why do women "commediennes" think that every joke they tell has to be about sex? Or their vaginas?
Jack Mundo says:
She’s too pretty to talk so nasty.
konkeyDong says:
That was garbage you guys are high
Ubersnipe says:
I get that chick with the Eggos. I mean, who doesn't enjoy a sweaty, half frozen waffle to that was warmed in what is arguably the most environmentally friendly way?
YouTube viewer says:
So I'm not the only one that does the waffle trick?
ClassyJohn says:
I get that mentioning her school was part of her set but I dont like it.
MrShanester117 says:
Wow. They just take any trash out of the dumpster and make it a teacher now
Dan St. Schwind says:
🤮
Payton Boyd says:
USC Football player? Rode a bike? Overly sexual? Guaranteed it’s JuJu Smith-Schuster
Shapree Mallory says:
Yo I watched that whole line driver Ad… I NEVER do that.
geirk selim says:
I too like em small. B+
The Trend says:
Great Comedian and crowd.
Deadmouse555 says:
Every sentence she finishes sounds like a question
Knob Job says:
Eh I didn't laugh, but I would still give her a pluggin
Knob Job says:
The baby nursing thing is a very common fear.
mrwonderfulhere says:
does any one else not hear the professional laugher in the comedy central female voice kinda obvious…she laughs louder and is on many of these comedy central special…drag
Austin prichard says:
God women comedians just suck
Adrienne Olson says:
That deepest darkest secret is a legit fear. I don't have kids, but I know multiple moms who get super high and turned on by breastfeeding. And their men also have this reaction.
jeremy Knees says:
Good stuff
بو قاسم says:
Whaaaaaat 😲 are you out of your mind lady
Pound 4 Pound says:
best female set ive seen in awhile. aweesome
Prabath Withanage says:
Shes mostly being pretty
Zyphr says:
Give me likes
DoctorSess says:
As a misogynist I find most women simply aren’t funny but this one is hilarious
Erik jakob says:
no where else but ucsb lol go gauchos!!
Blueband 8 says:
We had a French teacher who fitted into the 'all the lad's want to F*** category, when i was at school.
syiunshi says:
I'd like to hear a female comedian do a set without mentioning sex
Rafael Mertin says:
Y'all think this is funny? This humor is so low
LeTheGenD says:
I mean can you blame the student? She's hot.
Paul Harris says:
Its pronounced Lom-Poke not lom-pac
John Roberson says:
she's a teacher….may have missed her calling; she is fantastic at funny.
Debi Day says:
😆 give him an A
ChunkyBuiscuit says:
With it spread on the internet about women not being funny, this lady here is funny.
Tom Hewitt says:
I'd like to try her leggo eggos.
Im Human says:
i'd smash
SCJ says:
I actually thought she told some very good jokes, sadly as the video went on, the crowd, aside from that one hyper laughing women, seemed dead
Mr. Movie Mafia says:
I REALLY hope her student saw this special 😂
TandooriBulb322 says:
Haha sex
Jaceus 777 says:
I love a female comic that isn’t always talking about sex, vaginas, her period, sex, and more vaginas. She did well
tonytonez says:
Damn, I wanna eat a defrosted waffle inbetween a womans legs.
Brian Burton says:
So….Women CAN be funny! Great all around!
Jason Berroa says:
Not gonna lie to you, her set is pretty refreshing considering most female comics are getting a lot of flack as of recent. great delivery too, she’s got a promising future in comedy I can tell good work
Team HPG says:
Not all Jews are funny
Herve B says:
Good stuff. So far I’ve watched 2 videos of female comics that are teachers as their day jobs. I wish my teachers had been so funny
Azazel says:
I am currently eating a frozen waffle, still frozen
Freddy says:
White woman are just not funny…at all
Mike Henny says:
She's a teacher that does stand up? She's in trouble
Kai The Guy says:
who doesn't like a good thigh waffle
Ricardo Ovalle says:
Meh._.
UnexpectedWonder says:
She was really good. I like her.
Matthew Snyder says:
The waffle trick
HisashiBuri8 says:
She is amazing!
Tzadeck says:
Good joke writing. These are all pretty original.
Tim Timson says:
Women = not funny.
lightspeed horse says:
She's not funny at all, I don't get all these comments singing her praises. Just trying to be a cheap Amy Schumer as if Schumer wasn't already bad enough (Schumer at least used to be funny)
Victor S says:
I bet she passed those idiot students. That’s America for you.
CateDoge says:
I dont blame him she lowkey a snack
Luka Vičič says:
Oof
kvps27 says:
oh lord! She deserves to be more popular! First female comedian whose whole material is not surrounding her promiscuous behaviour!
Wallace Grommet says:
The waffles leave funny square marks on both thighs, keep in mind
Googlee Dood says:
I'd hit it
Tom Watson says:
Was this video supposed to be funny? Because this video was not funny at all. Amy Sliverberg should only teach and not perform comedy if this is her best attempt at comedy.
GodsSon __ says:
This wasn’t even funny