What Does This Headline Mean?

What Does This Headline Mean?


Craig: If you watched my video yesterday, you may have noticed that Beyonce never announced Bit-yonce at 10:30 last night. That means *shirt*coin saved the world! [applause]
Wooh! [twerks] Oh yeah. Ooh yeah. Oh yeah. [applause stops, Craig still twerks] [stops twerking]
The unsubscribers gone yet? [Wheezy beard intro] I came across this headline and I wasn’t sure what it meant. “Newly discovered dinosaur was the size of a turkey — and Australian” Now, because of the two hyphens this probably means this is a small dinosaur from Australia But it could mean this is a small dinosaur the size of a turkey sized Australian. Perhaps a large Australian baby. But the headline could mean that the dinosaur is the size of a combination of a turkey and Australian, like a turkey holding an Australian.
[or vice versa] Weird measurement to be sure, but hey, maybe Australians hold turkeys a lot and it’s a common way to measure. I’ve never been to Australia. [Australian accent]
Put another shrimp on the Bobby. The worst Australian accent in history, but that’s a saying there. maybe another saying is: [Australian accent]
“Hey, put another turkey on the person.” Why would that be a saying? I don’t know. I’ve never been to Australia. The British used to ship convicts to a penal colony there, maybe they also had them haul turkeys. Maybe they found that they could always have them carry just one more turkey. Like, there’s always room for jello. [British accent]
Blimey, guv’na, put another turkey on the person! See that’s the difference, that’s British. [Australian accent] Put another turkey on the person. See, that’s Australian. But back to the headline. There are still several other interpretations. It could mean that the dinosaur is two different sizes, that of a turkey and that of a an Australian person. Meaning they found two versions of the same type of dinosaur, a smaller and a larger one, or it can change from smaller to larger like Ant Man. Which would be an unprecedented discovery, so that’s probably not it. Further still, they could be using the slang term turkey, meaning, like, a silly person. For example: WheezyWaiter is such a turkey. I hate him a lot. A lot! And maybe they’re referring to some Australian turkey. Perhaps a cclaimed actor Yahoo Serious. So the dinosaur is the exact size of Yahoo Serious. I don’t know if they measure to the end of the hair or not. But it’s probably not at anyway. Now, this next interpretation – unlike the others – is a bit of a stretch. The “and Australian” could mean this article also has an Australian in it. Newly discovered dinosaur And hey, an Australian. So the article could describe this newly discovered dinosaur and then a few paragraphs down, it’s like: Oh, and now it’s time for an Australian in the article. [Australian accent]
G’day mate, I’m an Australian. I kinda hope that’s the correct interpretation, but it’s probably not. All articles should have Australians in them. And my final interpretation: The word “newly” could refer to a person named Newly. So, newly discovered dinosaur was the size of a turkey and Newly discovered an Australian. I mean that’s news. In the United States at least. It’s always exciting when you discover an Australian. Often, at first you think they’re British And then you’re like: Oh yeah, no you’re totally Australian. This is exciting. So, yeah. Then I clicked on the headline and went to a page with a different headline. “Scientists discover species of dinosaur the size of a turkey” … Yeah, no room for misinterpretation there. It’s actually pretty cool discovery of a small dinosaur in Australia. I’ll link to it in the doobly-doo. [Australian accent]
G’day mate. [British accent]
Blimey guv’na! Over there’s a playlist of all four videos this week that I have done. You can watch them on the bus, on the train, on the toilet. I like to project mine up against the building to scare away the neighborhood children. Click that thumbs up button if you want to perform phalangeal appreciation. Still legal in all states. Subscribe and hit the bell if you enjoy subscribing and hitting bells. And if you’d like you can support me on Patreon. Or, if you hate, you can not. *ding* Thanks for watching. [subtitles by the Wheezy Waiter Wiki team]

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