Wendy’s Weekend in Hollywood!

Wendy’s Weekend in Hollywood!


(upbeat music) My pants weigh more than my whole entire body. They’re gorgeous! But you know what, they are. They’re party pants. They’re by Alicia. Allison Olivia. Allison Olivia, and they were $550, but I trust Willy did not pay that. (woman laughs) He’s got connections. And the T-shirt, I don’t wanna be bothered. The pants pockets, you could wear these with heels, you can wear them with sneakers. These are the sneakers that I wore on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Look at the detail on the back. Scrumptious, right? All crystaly. You couldn’t see them though because they were being covered by my Dolce and Gabbana star dress. My jeweler, Will, made this for me. I didn’t know that they numbered the stars so when I found out what number I was, I was like, it’s only right. White and pink diamonds, like at the star. John, you would’ve had a great time with us at the strip club. The girls were very polite and it was more like a burlesque than a strip club. You know what I’m saying. You know the difference between the two, right? Right, right, yep. They weren’t getting all down and dirty. What are you doing? I was just writing your number down. (woman laughs)
You’re gonna play it? That’s what Joanie said, too! I’m gonna play it too. You are? If I could get out of here now. I’ll let you know. We’ll let you know! I was just so happy this weekend. You looked great, you looked great. Thank you. That dress was incredible, stunning! It was totally see-through, too. Wow. Yes! It was totally see-through and I thought that Mort and Ira were gonna have a fit, but they were like, two school boys. They’re so proud of our show. You know what I mean? That’s good, that’s great. Debmar-Mercury, that’s who produces our show. It wasn’t even a weekend for me so much. I’m always proud of me, even when I screw up, but it was to make my son proud, to make Mort and Ira, Jack, the bosses that believe in the show, when we struggle, when we don’t, you know what I’m saying, John. Right. We had a really good time and then the headline was “Wendy’s Dating Two Men” and I’m crooked arms with Mort and Ira coming out of the restaurant, right? (laughing) “Wendy’s Dating Two Men,” so funny. (woman laughing) You and Little Kev looked great. You guys looked great. He had the time of his life. Good, good. Imagine your mother teaching you how to make it rain. (man laughs) I can’t imagine that, no. I didn’t imagine it either, John, but the spirit hit me. Thanks, John, see you tomorrow! That’s John, of the Anderson dynasty here at the show. Have a good day, you guys. Make it rain on ’em! (woman laughs) Tamar was in make-up all day and then she just fell out of phone conversation. What’s this? Meat? Meat sticks. Are they good? They’re great. Costco. I see somebody already ate one. That’s me. You want one? Go. I have mustard in my office and I’m gonna stick it right in the mustard. I’ll just take one. Hold on. Okay, yes. I want to wash my hands before I touch it. I love a meat stick. Brendan, you shut up. I didn’t say nothing. (woman laughs) This is not on our diets, though. Yeah. It is? Zero sugar, zero carbs.
Are you Paleo? I’m doing this other thing, it’s all protein, no carbs, no sugar. This is really good. And it’s all natural. Wait a minute, but this is going to ruin my appetite for McRib. It almost tastes McRib-ish. Oh no, nothing tastes like a McRib but a McRib. They don’t sell them in New York. (woman chuckles) They don’t sell McRibs in New York, right? They’re like a rare thing you find at McDonald’s occasionally, but you gotta look, there’s a certain day. But they’re back and there’s there’s a Burger King, I already sourced it out, excuse me, McDonalds, right outside the Holland tunnel, and that’s where I’m gonna go. I’m sure they have them. Not all have them. I called ahead. Every fatty does. (man claps) Have a great day. I really don’t wanna ruin my McRib. Congratulations. Thanks, Byron. You’re welcome. Enjoy your meat stick. No, I gotta go. I need a McRib. (woman giggles) Where am I gonna hang it? I’m not gonna keep this in here. This one was given to me by a radio listener at least twenty years ago. I don’t lose stuff and I don’t throw things away, and it means a lot, so I’m going to keep that one here. That’s a bootleg one, though. This is the real deal, holy feel. I had some good food over the weekend, too. Not a lot of fattening food. I thought about that McRib thing the whole weekend. They weren’t in California. (cellphone rings) I don’t know who’s calling. Who gave me this? I can tell you who because I called her earlier. I called her earlier. Adrienne, that’s your name. Thank you. You know I will wear this. It’s just tacky enough, and thank you for sending two. My mother is going to wear this out. I’m going to give one to my mom as well. She’s gonna love this, thank you Adrienne. By the way Adrienne, as if two weren’t enough. Really? Smart girl. ‘Cause I will wear this. What the tacky jacket is going on? I’m gonna wear them out. I like the mirrors today on Trendy at Wendy, you saw those? Really good. I normally don’t like a close-up mirror because I don’t like to look that close and get startled, but that’s a good one. Jason Lee, we threw the party, right? He had this. This was laying on the table for everybody and then inside pictures. He really is the Martha Stewart of the LGBT community. (woman laughs) We laughed about that all night. He sourced out great guests and just good food. (woman sighs) Good old times. You deserve it. Thank you, Jessica. People are still going to hate on you. They don’t understand how you keep the camera moving, you’re making them dizzy. Why you watching the after show doing a handstand? Then sit up straight! I really don’t have a lot to say today except if you look on Hot Topics or look during the show, they did like a four minute piece of me getting the star, which is really nice. Elvis Duran spoke for my radio career and told cute stories and everything and then Jack Abernethy spoke to my TV career and Jack is the boss of all of us at FOX. Every Fox station across the country, nothing moves without Jack saying “Pull the trigger”. If it weren’t for Jack believing in the show, this would not be a show. Every day is a hustle and I hate to discount the early years by saying, we were fledgling, we could’ve been canceled, perhaps we should’ve been canceled, but…they liked me. The bosses, Mort, and Ira, and Jack, and Frank Sitcha, and Dennis Swanson. Those people liked me enough to keep working with the show, (woman sobbing) and keep it on the air. I guess that’s the difference between being a bitch versus leading with kindness and charm, which I try to do the best I can. We were on TV when we should’ve been canceled. (woman sobbing) Now I got a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. It was very important to make my son proud of his messy mom, very important. In new life, even more than old life, he’s very concerned for my happiness. When he called me the cat lady the other day I was telling you, the other week, I whispered to him in the middle of at least our fifth party that we had been to (woman chuckles) in celebration out in L.A., I said, “How dare you call me the cat lady? I guess I’m not the cat lady now.” He said, “Mom, no you’re not. You’re a star. You’re a star. You belong, you’re a star,” and that was real important to me, even more so than my parents being proud of me. My son, and then my nephew said to me, they left this morning to go back to Miami, or last night. Yesterday they left and they walked him to the door and my nephew, Travis, hugged me and he said, “Aunt Wendy, this is the best trip I’ve ever been on in my entire life,” and he’s 25. They live in Florida, they go to various places, whatever. Anyway, that made me feel really good. I took the boys shopping, we didn’t buy a lot, they didn’t want a lot. We never got to Nipsey Hussle’s store. I’m a little disheartened by that, but we were just so exhausted. Partying and eating, talking, changing clothes. (woman chuckles) But to see the beaming smiles of Mort and Ira means a lot. I’m their only original programming, you know? They have South Park and they have Family Feud and they did Anger Management with Charlie, but that’s not in new production anymore and I’m still here. They’ve never done a talk show and not to mention, I’m their original programming. I’m the only one, original programming. They looked so proud, so happy, and I’m so glad to be here, and I’m just glad to be here. I’m talking about in my office, I’m not talking about in Hollywood. That was fun, but that’s not my life, celebrities all around the place. Hollywood is such a game. It’s nice to visit as long as you have a round trip ticket. The weather, that would make me lazy. It can’t be hot every day. I like the change of season. I love New York. That’s it, that’s it, that’s it. This is my heart, I love New York, but I would like to, sometime next year ’cause this year’s already over, but sometime next year it’d be really fun to do the show from L.A. or Miami or Vegas, Chicago would be nice, a major city. The thing about L.A. audiences, though, you all don’t dress up. Please, please! I’ve seen you walking out of talk show audiences and game show audiences. You threw on your Uggs and some sweats and you show up and then you sit with your snacks, they let you eat in the audience, and then you’re on your phones, they don’t tell you to get off the phone. Engage! Then, they give you $50 to be an audience member. We don’t pay anybody here in New York! That’s not part of our situation, it’s not just me at Wendy. You don’t get paid to sit in the audience at shows here in New York. The pay is an incentive for people to work audiences like a part-time job. They could give two F’s ’cause they’re busy right now looking for their next, when’s my audition? Everybody’s a star out there. Where’s my audition, where’s my audition? The show’s going on and the camera flashes to the audience and you’re on your phone in dirty sweatpants and a stupid T-shirt. (woman laughs) Put in some effort like we do here in New York. That’s the only thing about going on the road. I get nervous, you know what I mean? Well I also get nervous that the camera people in that city won’t know how to swing the cameras like my guys here, so I want to have my own camera people. It becomes a whole expense ’cause if I’m going to do a show someplace else, then I want everybody. I don’t want new producers, I don’t want a new director, I don’t want a new mic person, I don’t want a new camera person. No, we all travel like a circus. (woman chuckles) If you’re going to be in the audience, I want my audience department booking the show. Therefore, they know what’s required here at Wendy. If you don’t dress ridiculous, then you’re not allowed in! (woman laughs) Jessica, you know what I mean? Absolutely. It was so insulting. I hosted that show Love Triangle, you can find it online. It’s a game show that I did. The Game Show Network did not, I don’t know, the powers that be broke up right after Love Triangle was done and they decided to throw everything out that was on the table and just start all over again, so I was a victim of circumstances, but it was a fun show to do, and I was taping it out in L.A. I do three shows once a week. I fly right out of here on Thursday night after the double show, all day Friday I do three one-hour game shows. It was about, you know, a love triangle. It was fun, it was fun. Hosting a game show, that would be right up my alley as well. First of all, I didn’t bring Marco G, so I had to deal with that audience hype man. He was corny as (bleep). (woman laughs)
What? Telling jokes and shouting out people in the audience. They didn’t have any popping music playing behind the scenes, the hype man was a corny comedian, I guess trying to be the next Jerry Seinfeld, and the audience was on their phone. I’m like, I flew all the way out here. Look, turn up the lights. They kept it dark in the audience. I’m like, turn up the lights, let me see who I’m talking to. You guys, they’re counting me down, in thirty seconds we’re gonna be on, can you please put your phones away and put your snacks away? What are you eating? They were eating crunchy snacks, not even slip a Jolly Rancher and keep it on your tongue. No! They’re eating Doritos with the dip on the side! (woman laughs) That’s when I found out the audience was paid, $50 a person, and they would go from show, to show, to show. I literally engaged better with the audience than the hype man, corny, in between because I was disgusted. I got on a pretty dress, we’re talking about love triangles, and all you can do is sit on your phone and eat crunchy snacks? Get out! Then I told the cameras, I said, don’t even swing to the audience. Don’t even engage with them because this is embarrassing. I’m embarrassed! I’m embarrassed! In conclusion, if we do come to your city and we are hosting the talk show, can you please look the part and put your phone away, and leave the crunchy snacks. (woman scoffs) I’m disgusted. I just whipped myself up into something I don’t even want to be involved with. (woman laughs) I don’t even want to be this mad. By the way, who made this, because you didn’t send a card, you also didn’t sign it, but this right here took a lot of work. Wow. They are individual fake roses. Look, he gave me highlights, or she, I don’t know. Look, the W. You know I love a stud, and big boob pink roses. I don’t know who made this, but I’m not throwing it away. Just so that you know it’s going to be leaning right here. (woman giggles) When I close my door, it looks beautiful back here. Look at all this art. Come here. It’s amazing. Look what’s going on! It doesn’t stop, it doesn’t stop. Wendy watchers are really, you are really something else. Look what you do! I didn’t ask for this. You framed this for me, thank you. Suzanne made this for me. It’s not actually in there. Look, two lipsticks and at the bottom, it says, “I love you, Wendy”. That’s from Suzanne. She wants to marry me. (woman laughs) All that! Send more junk, I love it. I love it, I love it. (woman giggles) I love it, and that’s what makes you special. You go out of your way to watch and I’ll go out of my way to keep you laughing. (woman giggles) I love you for watching. 2,677th star on the Walk of Fame. Special. Thank you. (upbeat music)

Author:

100 thoughts on “Wendy’s Weekend in Hollywood!”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *