We Try Playing Grand Theft Auto 5 Without Breaking Any Laws

We Try Playing Grand Theft Auto 5 Without Breaking Any Laws


– I’m just running away
from the police right now because I did something illegal. (upbeat jazzy music) – Today we are here and we’re playing Grand Theft Auto Five without breaking any laws. – I’m just so, it’s
ingrained in me to, like, obey the law and, like,
not run people over. – I don’t think the
game is set up for that. – I’m fully expecting
this to be very difficult. – If a person’s jaywalking
and I run them over does that, like, cancel it out since that person was breaking the law? – I’m not gonna walk to my destination and I need to do a grand theft auto so it’s kind of like the
premise of the whole thing. – Fun activities. See a movie. – Get a haircut. – Go to the fair. – Go to the strip club. I do spend a lot of time in
the strip club in this game. In fact, like, trying to get
all of the strippers’ numbers was, like, my main goal the
first time I played this. (siren) – Not breaking any laws. I’m a law-abiding citizen. Gotta look both ways, hopefully I won’t get a jaywalking ticket. (beep) We’re good. – Is this even? I don’t know if this is my… I think this is my car, so that’s great, that’s already going well. – Oh, shit, do I have to
stop at red lights and what? Oh, god. God damn it. – That car looks nice. (beep) This didn’t count. – Gonna look to the left
and then look to the right before I turn right. – (grunts) (laughs) This is the worst. – Let’s do the movie theater, I guess. It looks closer than the barber shop. – I think maybe I’ll get my hair cut? Get, like, cute for the strip club later. – What am I gonna do? Let’s just go to the barber shop. – Okay, well, I’m gonna go. Intersection looks clear, so (beep) just pretend that didn’t happen. – I had to, uh, take an
online driver’s course that was, like, ten hours and this is what, this is worse, honestly. – This is fine. This is fun, it’s like, oh, it’s like driving. Oh jeez, okay, okay, I was stopped paying attention for a sec. (beep) (beep) (beep) – That was just out of
frustration, to be honest. (beep). (beep) Oh, oh God, oh, oh, shit. (laughs) Oh, shit. – [Woman Character] I can’t
have the cops in here again. – Oh, again? – Okay, we’re just gonna
pretend traffic lights (beep) aren’t a thing right now. – Stupid garbage truck. Oh, he’s getting garbage
all over the place. Somebody should really do something. I bet it smells terrible. At least I can’t smell it. – Now I can’t get my hair cut. (beep) Oh my God. That was his fault. (beep) He came into my zone. – I think we’re about to
complete the first task. Watch the movie, 20 dollars per person, not sneaking in, I will pay the fare. Task one: complete. – Am I gonna kill that guy? I could, but I’m not gonna. And I’m at the barber shop. Oh, it’s a fancy barber shop. I can’t afford any of these haircuts ’cause it’s Beverly Hills. Do I need to rob somebody? To get me haircut? Is this a fail? (beep) (beep) – I don’t think running red lights is that big of a crime. – Still at a red light. This is ridiculous. (beep) Oh no, shit! Ahh! – I’m not gonna knock this door. I really wanna knock that door off. It’s fine. Alright, this is less fun when you aren’t running people over. – See, look at this, I’m a model citizen. I’m parking at the meter. – I’m waiting at a cross-walk right now. There’s people totally crossing when the walks light isn’t on but I’m gonna wait until it says walk. – I just realized I have stars in my head. Who, who made this decision? – I think I’m into the stars ’cause I’m a star. – Somebody, I know somebody
in the video did this and they were like, “You know what, I’m gonna
put stars in his head.” Don’t, don’t put stars, don’t do that. (ding) – Oh my God, it changed! (laughs) I did it, I’m legally crossing the street. Oh, that was really exciting, like more than it should have been. – We’re looking fresh, got
a new hair cut, saw a movie, hit some poles. – Do I not have enough money? Alright, I have 254 dollars, look at that. – [Narrator] No masturbating. – What the fuck? – Ah, I did it, I’m watching a movie! So I think that I should reward myself with a trip to the strip club because I have done a really good job and it’s legal fun. – You know, this game just
doesn’t have the same charm as when you’re breaking the law. Oops! (beep) Look, I avoided every
single person on the pier. That is totally legal. – I should probably, like,
take a taxi or something. Yeah, I’ma do that. – [Taxi Driver] Hey, my
mom, where are you going? – Don’t, don’t fuckin, don’t, just, chill man, just (beep) relax. – Hey, buddy, can you
push the button for me? – That was an early turn (beep) it’s fine, I’ll make it up here. Oh! Oh, damn, okay. If somebody hit my car in real life I would definitely want
them to come chat with me. He doesn’t seem very
receptive to the idea, though, so that’s fine. – [Character] Take that
and put it in your ass. Bring it, dickhead. (beep) (beep) (beep) (beep) (beep) Asshole! (beep) (beep) – Okay, so I just
knocked out three people. I was gonna kill each
and every one of them but let’s not do that. I’m just over here chilling,
trying to get a haircut because my hair looks dumb and you over here calling me, you know… I don’t know what he called me. He said, he said something. All I know is that he
needed to get his ass beat. – Ah, it’s yellow, it’s still yellow, it’s still yellow, it’s still yellow. (beep) (beep) Okay, their car looked fine as I was driving past it so I really think it’s fine. I mean, it’s a, it’s… I broke the law, okay, I broke the law. But I really needed to
get to the strip club. (beep) – See ya. (ding) – Ah, Vanilla Unicorn. Is this an alcohol bar
or is it just (mumble). – [Character] I’ll take one of those. – Ouu, they do serve alcohol. I did have a shot of
whiskey but it was just one. Don’t drink and drive. (beep) Don’t drink and drive. This is not real. – I’ma cut on a beard. Oh, she’s cutting the hair from my head and putting it on my face so (ding) that’s a really good barber or barb, barbstriss? (beep) (beep) – Oh, shit! (beep) (beep) (beep) Okay, this turning radius is, like, even worse than the other one. – There’s not even any traffic coming. Aww, there’s a cable car, what? (sighs) – Wow, this pier that looks nothing at all like Santa Monica pier (ding) is very nice. – Was I supposed to get off there? I was. (beep) That’s, uh, that’s illegal. (beep) I didn’t like how they
kind of pulled up on me. (beep) (beep) (beep) (laughs) (beep) (beep) (beep) (ding) So that’s the third task. (laughs) I think I broke, like, maybe one law, you know, just one the whole time. So, I’m a model citizen. – Hm, no, I broke no laws. – I mean it’s just a frustrating game and it really makes you
wanna break the rules. Like, the lights took forever to cross the street, which, in normal video games, you don’t think about, like,
running across the street as being against the rules. – Like, why would you
play this game that way? Why? It’s so fun to hit people
and to punch people and start fights with people. I think you should just
play Grand Theft Auto stealing cars and punching people. (sirens) (upbeat jazzy music) – [Character] Shit, that hurt.

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