W-ORD Channel 7 News With John Oliver & Cookie Monster

W-ORD Channel 7 News With John Oliver & Cookie Monster


>>Announcer: This is WORD Channel 7 News, with John Oliver and Cookie Monster.>>[SOUND]
>>John Oliver: So you trust. Good evening, I’m John Oliver.>>Cookie Monster: And me, Cookie Monster.>>John Oliver: And
here are tonight’s headlines.>>Cookie Monster: Me like that tie.>>John Oliver: Thank you,
thank you very much.>>Cookie Monster: Those dots
remind me of chocolate chip cookie.>>John Oliver: Well, I assure you
this is a 50-50 blend of rayon and polyester, so it’s-
>>Cookie Monster: Classy.>>John Oliver: In tonight’s headlines,
the word crumb ends with a B but you never hear it. What’s it doing back there, and
how can you protect yourself? We’ll take a closer look after the break.>>Cookie Monster: Also word abbreviation. It’s so long. What’s up with that?>>John Oliver: But first, our top story. WORD has received numerous reports
that the word chair has lost a letter. Yes, the letter C apparently
has gone completely missing. We go over live now to Telly Monster, who is already on the scene,
ready to investigate. Telly?>>Telly Monster: Thanks, John. Hey, nice tie.>>John Oliver: Thank you, Telly. Very kind.>>Telly Monster: You know, those dots kind of make it look like
a chocolate chip cookie.>>Cookie Monster: That what me saying.>>John Oliver: Okay, okay, so
what are you seeing out there, Telly?>>Telly Monster: John, it’s chaos out
here, the letter C is nowhere to be found. And without it chair has
become an entirely new word. That’s right, it’s hair, and
residents here are terrified. I mean, you can’t sit on hair. I mean, that’s ridiculous. Ma’am, ma’am, tell me, how do you feel
about the word chair, without the C?>>Speaker 5: Is this TV?
[LAUGH]>>Telly Monster: Yes, yes, yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, yes, yes.>>Speaker 5: I’m on TV?
>>Telly Monster: Yes, you’re on TV right now!>>[MUSIC]>>Telly Monster: And how do you feel
about the word chair without the c?>>Speaker 5: It’s crazy, and
people are watching this now?>>Telly Monster: They were
until just a moment ago. [LAUGH] And there you have it,
back to you, John.>>John Oliver: Thanks, Telly, and now
it’s back to your VOCAB-U-CAST on the ace. Here is WORD’s own Al Roker. Al.
>>Al Roker: John, thanks so much. All right, as you can see, we have this massive vocabulary front
that’s coming in from the east. And it is gonna be bringing in brand
new words like bromance and surfbort. Okay, Tuesday. You’re looking at a 30% chance of Hangry, followed by Shelfies at
about 30 miles per hour. And on Wednesday, expect two to three
feet of GIFs in the southern plains.>>Cookie Monster: Al, Al, yeah,
me believe it’s pronounced JIF.>>Al Roker: Really? That’s what you believe? Well, I believe I don’t tell
you how to eat cookies. So don’t tell me how to pronounce words. I don’t need this. I’m out of here. I’m done.>>John Oliver: Wow! He really stormed out of there,
right, like a storm front leaving.>>John Oliver: You get it?>>Cookie Monster: Me no get it.>>John Oliver: No, you do,
cause he’s a weather, he’s a weather man.>>Cookie Monster: Weather man.>>John Oliver: He’s a weather man,
he talks about weather.>>Cookie Monster: But he left.>>John Oliver: But he left at speed. He stormed out.>>Cookie Monster: But he just left. He walked out.>>John Oliver: No, but
he walked out, he moved quickly.>>Cookie Monster: Yeah?>>John Oliver: And a storm moves fast.>>John Oliver: So you’re taking a word-
>>John Oliver: You get it?>>Cookie Monster: No.
>>John Oliver: Yeah, you, no, because it’s, you’re taking a word that-
>>Cookie Monster: And now, sports.>>[MUSIC]>>Speaker 7: Honey, what’s a nine letter
word for something right under your nose. Starts with m.>>Speaker 8: Have you tried mustache?>>Announcer: And now tonight’s
Last Word on words with John Oliver.>>John Oliver: Tonight’s
last words literally. LIterally, you are doing it wrong. For instance,
that scone literally blew me away. No, it did not. That’s impossible, unless that scone had a jet engine
strapped to it’s buttery backside. It does not have the capacity
to lift you off the ground. Besides, scones obviously
are not that impressive. They’re essentially little
more than a plump cookie.>>John Oliver: What?
>>Cookie Monster: Yeah, nothing.>>John Oliver: Because the point is no
matter how much someone’s tie may look like a cookie, you cannot literally eat
it because that would make nonsense.>>Cookie Monster: [SOUND]
Makes sense to me.>>John Oliver: For WORD Channel
Seven News, I need a vacation.>>Cookie Monster: You know what,
you’re right. It literally tastes nothing like a cookie.>>John Oliver: Okay.
>>[MUSIC] [SOUND]
>>John Oliver: Why are you still eating? Why are you still eating?>>[MUSIC]
>>John Oliver: If you don’t want to give me good stuff and
think my clothes are cookie.>>Cookie Monster: No,
me waiting for close up.>>John Oliver: [LAUGH]
>>Cookie Monster: Me professional. Me professional monster here.>>John Oliver: That’s right,
that’s right, that’s right. Just give them garbage in a way.>>Cookie Monster: Me know how it work.>>John Oliver: That’s right,
you can cheat the edit.>>Cookie Monster: They
never use the wide shot.>>[LAUGH]

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