Twilight Breaking Dawn Part 2 literally makes no sense

Twilight Breaking Dawn Part 2 literally makes no sense

You know, this video’s been a LOOOONG time
coming. I wasn’t even sure if I was going to make
it this far, to be honest. Because FIVE Twilight movies it a lot to ask
of ANYONE. But then again, if I can do 3 seasons of Riverdale,
I can probably make it through anything. But all the same, here we are at the end of
the road. Its finally time to finish the Twilight Saga
with Twilight Breaking Dawn Part 2. So as per the ending of part 1, Bella woke
up and is not trying to get used to her new “Vampire-hood-ness-ship” (this is the music I had to change) Hey Bella… You’re a lot stronger than I am right now… You know Edward, I saw you take your shirt
off in the second movie. So I’m pretty sure that’s always been the
case. But okay, whatever you say Anyway, so now that’s Bella’s finally awake,
naturally she wants to see her daughter. BUTT, there’s a little something she has to
do first. Renesmee… (laughs in anemic) She’s incredible… Where is she, I have to see her. Wait wait you need to get your thirst under control. Well shoot, I mean I’ve been saying that since
like 3 movies ago. So, they both go out hunting for some aminals,
and give us the greatest CG I’ve ever seen. I mean, come on, Avatar WHO?! Now after this whole thing is over, Edward
and Bella go back home, and who do you think is waiting there for them? You’re still here… So are you. I would… I would keep my distance for now It’s safer for the baby to see how you do
with me first. Since when do you care about Renesmee? Oh yeah, funny story Bella! You better sit down for this one, okay. Couple things might have happened while you
were asleep, but TRUST me! You’re gonna laugh. Alright Jacob, let her have it. (Jacob and Edward start to rethink all their
life choices) Alright… take a whiff (snorts all over the mic) wut?? Boy what a way to change the conversation,
huh? So Bella goes inside and finally meets her
daughter for the first time since… ever? I guess. And she has pretty much the same reaction
we all did. someone’s been waiting to meet you Rose (OMGWHATISTHATZXCCZXCZ) Uhhh… what the heck’s going on with the
baby, guys?! A-a-anybody else seeing this?! iS tHIs peRManEnt?! But that’s when she learns the truth about
what Jacob was about to tell her before he did the whole like “pull my finger” thing,
or whatever that was. YOU IMPRINTED ON MY DAUGHTER?! it wasn’t my choice SHE’S A BAAAAAAAAAAABY!! But then, Jacob tries to explain why “Its
actually not that weirrrrd to fall in love with a baby, okay guys. PSSSHHHHHHH Only god can judge me!” Do you remember how much you wanted to be
around me 3 days ago? That’s gone now, right? LONG GONE Because it as her… From the beginning, it was Ness from Smash
Brothers who wanted me there… Nothing ever made sense before… you, me, any of it. and now I understand why This was the reason OK, hold on Jacob. Let me just make sure I understand here. So everything between you and Bella over these
5 movies was because you and her baby that wasn’t even
made yet were actually in love with each other this whole time… so like in the movie theater or that time
you jumped in Bella’s window with your shirt off that was weird, but anyway… all of this was just you having a thing for
he baby she was GONNA have… iN tHE fuTuRE?! Well nothing weird about that Jacob, makes
perfect sense. Alright its just… its just a nice wholesome
family movie, right guys? (starts to wonder why he watched all 5 of
these movies) WHAT! Anyway, the next day Bella realizes she still has a dad But of course she can’t tell him anything
about what’s happened because you know, that’s against… the rules…
or something. Is that Charlie? He’s been calling twice a day… I’m gonna miss this place We’ll come back, we always do… Nobody said anything about leaving Once people believe Bella’s dead, we can’t
risk anyone seeing her Now Jacob isn’t a fan of this idea because that would be he has to be away from So he goes over to Bella’s dad’s house and things take a sharp turn. I need to see Bella. Look! here goes nothing… (proceeds to take clothes off while everyone
watching wonders if it’s not too late to switch to another movie) you don’t live in the world you think you
do… (Romantic music plays… Bella’s dad starts to feel something strange
bubble inside him. Could it be…? Nope, it’s just last night’s Taco Bell left
overs….) (…unless…) Anyway, so Jacob tells Bella’s dad about werewolves,
and that Bella is alive and everything’s fine. Relatively speaking. But of course, he doesn’t just come out and
say what happened to her because the last thing any parent wants to hear is
that their kid’s gonna be emo forever, you know what I mean So after Jacob does his magic mike… thing Bella’s dad goes over to the Cullen’s house
to see what’s going on. I really think it would be better if- I wanna know what happened to ya I can’t tell you… I think I deserve an explanation If you really need one, I can’t stay here Oh COME ON! No! No more going away! Dad you just gonna have to trust that for
whatever reason… I’m alright I mean I just watched a kid I’ve known his
entire life turn into a VERY large dog. Oh you think that’s bad, heh You should see have of these kids on Deviant
Art So then they show him Renesmee and tell him
that she is their adopted niece. And I mean sure, that’s all great and everything but like WHAT IS GOING ON WITH THIS KID?! I mean the head is not even attached to the body?! I know this is an old meme at this point and
I’m like really late to the party or whatever But this movie just has so much… everything. and you know, apparently in the original cut,
they were actually going to use like an animatronic doll for the baby? but like I don’t see how it could possibly
have been any worse than what we- OH MY GOOODNESSSSSS what’s… what’s going on here?! wh-wha—wut– WHAT IS THIS- (everything I thought I knew is a lie. my soul has been ripped from my body) what happened… WHATTTT?!?!? Anyway, skipping ahead a little bit Renesnee has now grown up because she ages
really fast for some mysterious reason and Bella’s getting used to her new life of
doing… pretty much nothing. I mean like really they don’t eat, they don’t sleep, no one goes
to school anymore, it doesn’t look like anyone has a job or anything, So like what’re you guys even doing?! Anyway, one day, Alice gets a vision of the
future. (creepy piano music) (cool trombones and stuff) So basically, here’s what’s going on One of the Cullen’s extended family saw Bella
and Renesmee playing in the snow one day and say that Renesmee has like superpowers
or whatever Now, this person goes to the Vampire Counsel and tells them that Bella turned her kid into
a Vampire. I have to report a crime The Cullens… they’ve done something… terrible which is, I guess, one of the worst things
you can do because, you know, Vampire kids can’t keep
secrets they can’t control themselves it’s just kinda bad news for everybody So now, the whole counsel is coming to Forks
to deal with Renesmee and the whole Cullen family So the next chunk of the movie is the Cullens
going around the world gathering every vampire friend they’ve ever made So they can meet Renesmee and see that she’s
not actually a full vampire (just has a face that floats in the air by itself but that’s
cool) and in the middle of all this we also learn about Bella’s TTHHuper-PowerTTHH Edward, you didn’t tell me your wife was a shield what’s a shield? The one’s I’ve met are so different… it’s a defensive talent that’s why I couldn’t read your mind, even
before Okay, wait a second! So, Edward couldn’t read Bella’s mind in the
first movie because she has TTHHuper-PowerTTHH that she…
could use… even though… she wasn’t a vampire yet because clearly this was all planned out from
the beginning. Remember back when this was all just about
some awkward loner girl falling in love with the weird emo kid who wears body glitter or
whatever? REMEMBER THOSE DAYS?! and now it’s just like, X-MEN: ANEMIC EDITION Anyway, so we’re just gonna skip ahead a little
bit here… (Baby Bottle Pop Commercial plays because
my childhood was maybe the only time I’ve been truly happy and listening to this commercial takes me back to a place where I didn’t have to think about anything except getting home after school
in time to watch Gargoyles) Ah, not quite Uhhhh, okay, here we go. So eventually, the Vampire Counsel shows up
with all their little buddies and it’s finally time to do… whatever they’re
gonna do. So the creepy uncle touchy vampire leader
guy calls Renesmee over to check whether she is or is not, in fact, a Vampire. HAHAHAHAHAHEHEHEHAHAHHEHEHAHHEHEHEHE You know I was giving Jacob a hard time earlier but at least he never did that! So turns out, there’s no problem with Renesmee,
no one broke any rules, everything’s on the up and up (whatever that means) And even Alice offers to show that creepy
laugh guy proof that there’s nothing to worry about. Alice, we’re so glad to see you here after
all. I have evidence the child won’t be a risk
to our kind (shows him all her dumb Coachella photos of
her doing the same poses on a desert and pretend it wasn’t just a huge waste of money) It doesn’t matter what I show you You still won’t change your descision BWWAAAAAAA So yeah, it turns out the head Vampire guy
was already going to get rid of the Cullens and Renesmee anyway because, you know, what if she’s dangerous…
some how then a big fight breaks out where everyone
gets to use all their cool super powers ’cause… that’s what this movie is now, I
guess. Anyway, so this fight goes on for a really
long time and just when Edward and friends are about
to win… haha! Surprise! It was all a dream… vision… thing Pssshh, he hehh, look at you guys getting
all excited for no reason! And then right after this 2 vampires from the Brazilian Amazon show up no joke here, this is actually… what happens
in the movie and they’re like, “We have a half vampire guy and he’s not do
bad” and the head vampire dude is like, “oh ok, dat’s cool” and everyone just walks away problem solved so yeah I guess you could say this movie doesn’t
make a whole lot of sense Now, in the end all the other vampires say their goodbyes
and go home to do… whatever vampires do Becuase, you know what? The real half-vampire baby was the friends
we made a long the way Also just a quick aside here You know how when we first met Edward and
his family and we were like introduced to whole idea of vampires, or whatever? and it was all about how they’re so beautiful
and perfectly groomed and all that stuff? That’s Edward Cullen, totally creepy… obviously… Well turns out that’s ONLY the Cullens, I
guess Because like, every other guy here looks like
someone you would see outside the train station selling bracelets they made out of, like,
belly-button lint. Anyway, so now that everyone’s safe and the
big conflict is over We cut to Edward and Bella sitting in a flower
field for the 500 TIME! sharing a mOMeNt I wanna show you something Uhh, if this is about that mole on your back
that looks like Bette Midler taking a dump I told you, once was one time too many, alright But actually she somehow just shows him this
vision of, like, every Twilight movie and how they met and all that stuff and you know, it’s all like sUPeR RoMAntiC and that where this movie, and the whole Twilight
Saga, comes to and end. I know I already said this my Breaking Dawn
Part 1 video, but back when Twilight was just like a cheesy
romance story or whatever it was fine you know, the whole like Edward vs Jacob was..
dumb BUT I can totally understand the appeal of it I mean, sure, it’s all about the fantasy,
right? Like having your High School crush like you
back I mean, that’d be pretty cool, right?! Not that I would know But TWO OF THEM?! Hah, can you imagine! Having that much free time?! OH WHAT A DREAM But by the time you get to, like, the last
3 movies I mean it just goes all over… the… everywhere and just nothing makes any sense especially when they try and, like, explain
everything Like Bella’s Super Powers, or Jacob’s thing
for babbis you know, just a whole lot of information
nobody asked for Now that being said, I am actually a little surprised there hasn’t
been anything else done in the Twilight Universe. Because I mean it was SOOO successful and
culturally significant fOr bEtTEr oR wORse you’d think someone would come along and.. huh (whispers) Really? 50 Shades is a Twilight Spin-off?! Oh dear… you know, coming to the end of series is always
kind of a bitter-sweet type of thing I mean like, you know, I’ve done trilogies
before I did the High School Musical movies Um, I did, you know I did Camp Rock 1 and
2 And now I’m doing Descendants Descendants 3 comes out in just a couple weeks and its like, doing a trilogy is one thing but Twilight is like a 5 movie series, you
know what I mean and so its like coming to the very end of
it now on one hand, like, whatever you think of the
characters and the story and whatever not that I was, like, overly attached to it
but its like you know, I saw it from beginning to end and
I saw how the characters change and all that and then on the other hand, I’m thinking: wHy dID i dO tHIs?! But still I said this many times now, I guess I’m just
kind of repeating myself, but its like the first ttwwooooo Twilight movies on their
own are actually not really that bad I mean they’re dumb and cheesy but it’s like Okay, alright, you know, girl falls in love
with a vampire and a werewolf and they fight over her about who’s the best, whatever that’s fine, I get the appeal of that but you know, five movies… four books and
five movies is a lot for a story like this At the end they’re just shoehorning in, like,
everything they possibly can Its kind of like Riverdale where its like season 1 of Riverdale was just this little
like teen mystery… drama type thing and it was
fine and then now, in Riverdale, its just like
I don’t even know what anyone’s trying to do or be anymore its just all over the place But yeah so that is Twilight you know, I actually
made it to the very end like I said in the very beginning of the video I didn’t actually think I was gonna make it
that far I made the first video, and the 2nd one and
then I was kinda like, “I don’t know I’m really going to go all the
way to the end of this” and then here we are at the very end, so I
hope you enjoyed it. (youtuber outro: plz subscribe, ring the bell,
follow me on Twitter, follow Charlie on instagram, brush your teeth, wear your seatbelt, flossing
is very important)


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