Trying Not to Laugh When Your Friend Is Crying – Key & Peele

Trying Not to Laugh When Your Friend Is Crying – Key & Peele


– CARVELL
THANKS YOU FOR COMING. [sighs] FIRST ORDER OF BUSINESS,
I’M SURE YOU ALL HEARD THAT TWIGS GOT PULLED
OUT THE RIVER THIS MORNING. IT AIN’T NO SECRET THAT HE AND CARVELL
GREW UP IN THE HOOD TOGETHER. SO LISTEN UP. ‘CAUSE CARVELL
ABOUT TO SAY SOME WORDS. – [panting] – OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT? DON’T NONE OF YOU
LOOK AT THEM TEARS AND THINK THAT [bleep]
IS FUNNY. BECAUSE IT TAKES A BIG [bleep]
MAN TO CRY IN FRONT OF HIS CREW. GO AHEAD, CARVELL.
– [sniffles] Y’ALL KNOW TWIGS WAS MY BOY. BACK IN THE DAY, WE USED TO PRETEND
THE SOFA CUSHIONS WAS A FORT. – MM-HMM, MM-HMM.
[takes breath] – AND WE USED TO PRETEND
THAT THE FLOOR WAS MOLTEN LAVA. OH… [panting] – OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT,
THOUGH? THERE AIN’T NOTHING FUNNY
‘BOUT THAT. OF COURSE THIS MAN IS CRYING. ‘CAUSE HE AND TWIGS
WAS KIDS TOGETHER. OKAY? YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? THEY WAS BEST FRIENDS
FOREVER AND [bleep]. – [sniffles]
– GO AHEAD, CARVELL. – WE USED TO PLAY
CARE BEARS.
– MMM-HMM.
HMM-HMM. – TWIGS AND I WOULD SPEND THE GOOD PART
OF AN AFTERNOON TRYING TO FIGURE OUT
WHICH C-C-CARE BEAR WE WAS. – OH, OH…
[chuckling] OH… I WISH ONE OF Y’ALL
MOTHER-[bleep] WOULD JUST START LAUGHING, ‘CAUSE YOU ALL KNOW
YOU THINK THIS [bleep] IS FUNNY. CARVELL OVER HERE, BLUBBERING
AND TALKING ‘BOUTCARE BEARS.BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? BUT YOU… – [holding back sobs] – [wheezes] THOSE ARE MANLY TEARS!
OKAY? THOSE SOME MANLY-ASS TEARS
RIGHT THERE THAT YOU LOOKIN’ AT! GO AHEAD, CARVELL. – AND THEN– AND THEN–AND THEN–
AND THEN–AND–AND–AND– [blubbering] – [laughs]
MM, I’M SORRY, MAN. THAT WAS A WEIRD-ASS SNEEZE
I JUST DID RIGHT THERE. GOD DAMN IT. CAN A BROTHER GET SOME [bleep]
CLARITIN UP IN HERE? GO AHEAD, CARVELL. – TWIGS ALWAYS
FANCIED HIMSELF SHARE BEAR. – MM– [groaning laugh] – I ALWAYS– I ALWAYS THOUGHT– THOUGHT OF MYSELF
AS MORE OF A FUNSHINE BEAR. – MM–OKAY. OKAY, ALL YOU [bleep] NEED
TO RESPECT THAT RIGHT THERE! OKAY? Y’ALL NEED TO LISTEN
TO FUNSHI– [laughs] [howling laughter] I’M SO–I’M SORRY, MAN. YOU A FUNSHINE BEAR, MAN.
I’M SORRY, THAT– THAT IS SOME FUNNY [bleep].
[laughs] [gunshot]
– WHOA, WHOA. – [heaves] ALL RIGHT.
LET’S GO SELL SOME CRACK.

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