The Daily Show – Welcome to President Trump’s Reality

The Daily Show – Welcome to President Trump’s Reality


It’s been almost a week, a whole week since Donald Trump
became president. -But… but it feels…
-(audience booing) Yeah. It feels
like a lot longer, right? (audience voicing assent) Like in Trump’s presidency,
one day is like a year. I mean, this was me last Friday. -Look how innocent I was.
-(laughter) Look at me. Look how I’ve aged! It’s hard to believe
that in less than seven days, we’ve had an inauguration packed
with empty space… (laughter) …worldwide protests
that made it acceptable to say “pussy” in any context… (cheers and applause) …confirmations,
executive orders, Sean Spicer lying
about how he’d never lie, and to top it all off,
Kellyanne Conway came in to say that the week
didn’t
happen because there are
no such things as weeks, only alternative days. (laughter) Now, outside
of a couple formal speeches, you realize
we haven’t had a chance to see President Trump himself
on the job. But yesterday, he gave
the first television interview from his new home office
at The White House, or as he calls it,
the Mar-a-Lago of the north. -(laughter)
-But think about it. We’ve only ever known
Trump the candidate, but yesterday, we got introduced
to Trump, the president, who we learned is a man who,
from the get-go, is determined to create his own reality, starting
with how he gets the news. You took some heat
after your visit to the CIA, in front of that hallowed wall, 117 stars of those lost
at the CIA. That speech was a homerun. That speech–
if you look at Fox, okay… I’ll mention, and your net…
Read… See what Fox said. They said it was one
of the great speeches. There was love in the room. You and other networks
covered it very inaccurately. I hate to say this to you, and
you probably won’t put it on, but turn on Fox
and see how it was covered. -I love how he says “Fox.”
-(laughter) But you see that there? Yeah. If the news is critical
of Donald Trump, it’s fake news. -Only praise is real news.
-(audience voicing assent) Which is insane,
and it’s also crazy -that all he does is watch Fox.
-(laughter) He doesn’t want to read, he doesn’t want
to have briefings. Trump watches Fox
to get his news! You realize the reason
thatweneed the news is because we don’t have
what the president has, -which is all the information!
-(laughter) And then Trump is turning on
the news going, -“I wonder what I do today.”
-(laughter) “I wonder what happens.” -You are the news!
-(laughter) Can you imagine
how this must feel for the FBI, where they come in,
and then he’s like, “Guys, did you know
about the shootings in Chicago?” And they’re like,
“Yeah, we wrote about it in the report every day!” Now you realize what the CIA
and FBI have to do. You know what they should do? They should start making little
videos for Trump to watch. They should make news
especially for him, ’cause he’s like little child. They’re gonna have to come up and make, like,
a little production for him. Just like… (imitates
trumpet playing fanfare) It’s CIA News!
Today, Donald Trump, the great Donald Trump needs
to know how to fight ISIS! And Trump will be like,
“Yay! That’s me!” -(laughter) -“I’m on the news! ISIS Bad!”
-(applause and cheering) “Donald Trump good! Yay!” (applause and cheering continue) It’s his own reality! He only accepts that news. So we learned
that President Trump only acknowledges the media
that praises him, and also, acknowledges only
the citizens who voted for him. Many of these people were
the forgotten men and women, many of them, and they loved
what I had to say. Part of my whole victory
was that the men and women
of this country who have been forgotten
will never be forgotten again. The forgotten men and women. They’re not forgotten anymore
because they came out and voted. (as Trump): I keep a little note
on my fridge. It says, “Don’t forget
to never forget “the forgotten men and women
we forgot. That way I never forget
what I just forgot about.” (laughter) -(applause and cheering)
-What does that mean? Here’s another way President Trump only works
within his own reality. It has to do with his executive
order to block immigration from a number
of Muslim countries. It’s countries that have
tremendous terror, uh, and it’s countries that
people are going to come in and cause us
tremendous problems. Let me ask you
about some of the countries thatwon’tbe on the list. Afghanistan, Pakistan,
Saudi Arabia… I don’t want terror
in this country. You look at what happened
in San Bernardino, you look at what happened
all over. You look at what happened
in the World Trade Center. Okay? I mean,
take that as an example. Oh, okay, okay. Let’s take that as an example. These are the countries
Trump will ban people from. In the San Bernardino shooting,
one of the terrorists was a U.S.-born citizen. The other person
was from Pakistan, a countrynoton Trump’s list.Orlet’s look at 9/11. All the hijackers came
from these four countries. None of them on Trump’s list. What he’s doing
doesn’t solve his problem. It’s like if you got pregnant,
and then afterwards you said, “This is never happening again! “From now on, I’m only wearing
condoms on all my hands! -“Yeah! Yeah!
-(applause) Problem solved!” Here’s the most disconcerting
part of the interview for me. It’s not just how Donald Trump
perceives reality, it’s the fact that as president he’s now powerful enough
to shape it. Three to five million
illegal votes. That would be
the biggest electoral fraud in American history. Where is the evidence of that? You look at the dead people that are registered to vote
who vote, you look at people that
are registered in two states. When you say, in your opinion,
millions of illegal votes, that is something that is
extremely fundamental to our functioning democracy– -Sure. Sure. Sure.
-a fair and free election. You say you’re gonna launch -an investigation into this.
-Sure. Done. (laughter) (whispers):
I see dead people. (laughter) (applause, cheering) Who is this? You do understand…
because Donald Trump truly believes that he should
have won the popular vote, the federal government will now
spend a ton of money and time investigating
nonexistent voter fraud, which is not going to find you the two-state registered
Mexican ghosts who are voting. But instead,
all that’s gonna happen is it’s gonna end up as an excuse to restrict more
American citizens from voting. That’s all that’s gonna happen.
That’s all that’s… And by the way, dead people
using their power to vote? That’s the weirdestWalking Dead
episodeever.-That is just strange.
-(applause, whooping) It’s another reality. So… so here we are, one week
into Trump’s presidency, and the realization
is beginning to dawn. The difference between candidate
Trump and President Trump is that nowwehave to live
inhiscrazy reality. And that fact hit me
when Trump said this. David, David… I mean, I know you’re
a sophisticated guy. The world is a mess. The world is as angry
as it gets. Well, you think this is gonna
cause a little more anger? The world is an angry place. Jesus, dude. If he’s gonna talk like that, I feel like he needs
a different style of makeup. David, David… I mean, I know you’re
a sophisticated guy. -(audience cheering)
-The world is a mess. The world is as angry
as it gets. Well, you think this is gonna
cause a little more anger? The world is an angry place. (laughter) We’re all his hostage.

Author:

100 thoughts on “The Daily Show – Welcome to President Trump’s Reality”

  • Maranda Gillespie says:

    Why do I have to donate my money to help impeach trump. I don't want him to be our president but I don't have any money?.

  • News network: trump is a racist and he looks like an Oompa Loompa.
    Libtards: sleep
    Trump: Obama started ISIS by being a moron and pulling out our troops. (Which is not 100% true but not false at all)
    Libtards: OMFGTRUMPISAHORRIBLEPERSONWESHOULDIMPEACHHIM

    Edit: luck Fibs

  • Ajeet Adhikari2018 says:

    https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCzREuchzOqiawpEpvEM0Tyg
    https://youtu.be/dCPhqCrhkBA
    https://youtu.be/RvdXTNjHKaw
    https://youtu.be/r-F4yjuWCfs
    Make joke on it also

  • Hillary: I'm a woman, so i'm surely going to win the elections.

    Trump: Ha ha ha… you may be a woman… but I… I am from a much more opressed group… for I…
    7:36
    Am a Gamer.

  • Anyone who listens to unfunny, uninformed Trevor noah needa a reality check. The guy is from South Africa, where they are causing division and killing white farmers and the new government says they are not recommmending killing white people YET. For anyone who wants to say all white people need to pay for the atrocities of a few, get real. Moral people do not expect that groups of people pay for crimes of individuals, they expect the people who committed the crime to pay for it. Do you expect your children and grandchildren to pay for your crimes and atrocities if you committed any? Trevor Noah is in that position for one reason only, the racist liberal network execs picked him because he is black or half black and to divide and smear the United States and Americans as racists. If he all of a sudden became for all of humanity and preaching love of everybody, he would be gone. He knows it and every non brain dead person knows it too.

    Our country is based on E Plurubus Unum- of many we became one people and evolved through our laws that we are all equal under the law (except now the politicians, FBI and government are not and they are enemies of all of us if that continues). The base word of Diversity is divide. Color obsessed social justice warriors are oblivious, they don't even realize they are following the failed communist ideology of and as they would put it "old white guy" Carl Marx who never had provided for his family and let some of his kids starve for his obsession of the Proletariat revolt, which is supposed to end up with the working people in charge, but it never does.

  • It's so funny, they laughed at him on joke FBI and CIA has to make small news video. While we do the same watching the comedy daily show for news.

    U take that back
    I am not Trump supporter.

  • wakeupamerica1001 says:

    F–k that nazi Rupert Murdoch fuckin isn't even from this country then he works on the weak minded people in this country with that State Television Entertainment Channel FOX NEWS its unbelieveable all's u have to do is fact check them, but they don't and believe it. I hope God calls for that old nazi. Mistake DEVIL call's that old F–kin nazi soon. Hope he dies a long and misrable death as to all the greif he has caused for all the people in the world with the shit he has spread. Well 88 yrs. old, odds are in the human race's favor he won't have many more if any, I hope.

  • Assaulting Trump Supporters and then saying they should be rallied up and be sent to camps and then Ironically calling them Fascists and Nazis. Yes by all means if someone disagrees with your safe space and your forced opinions they're literally Nazis. I want to see how long this world would last with entitled degenerates like you.

  • If the info doesn't come from Fox News or that Crazy conspiracy theory guy; it's fake news as far as Trump is concerned hehe πŸ˜…. How people have believed and are believing that Trump is the right guy to be Potus is mind blowing 🀯🀯😱. I guess all the people who voted for him just wanna follow him off a cliff like lemmings.

  • Ezz eldin saleh says:

    The United States government need to stop lying about 9/11 and release or declassify the 9/11 investigation files. Do people not realize how ridiculous the American government comments about 9/11. The American government told the public that 19 people from Saudi Arabia hijacked a plane with a box cutter. Not a gun. Let that just sink in for a minute or two.

  • Scott Brigham says:

    πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  • This was really good, i don't exactly know why we had to have that unfunny dude talk for like 8 min but the clip 10/10

  • Although I don't live in America and we have a little bit of a crazy president ourselves πŸ‡΅πŸ‡­ but his last comment gave me chills. That son of a bitch didn't just threaten the viewers or that poor journalist, he threatened America and 3 years into his reign, people aren't impeaching him yet. Dafuq are you doing people. Get this orange airhead outta here!!!!

  • What sort of a retard can't see through this facade 100k likes to 14k. You guys are very selfishly selective about what you want to hear.

  • Could somebody throw this African out of here, please? What's he doing here? He's from a FAILED STATE… you want HIS advice?… He's an AFRICAN… they don't GET any stoopider than that… Send him home… Let him save his own miserable tribe.

  • Trevor needs to go back home so his mama can tell him to pick a switch again. The only thing funny about him is getting his ass beat African Mama style.

  • Finally the joker is the president of usa….. wonderful news. Where is batman ? You said your were going to stope him. Liar !!!!!!! Ahahahahahah

  • IT'S ME FROM 713 says:

    Up until I saw thousands of people protesting Trump's presidency around the world, I had no idea people, non-American people, cared so much about what's going on in american politics. It's crazy. He's reviled around the world. His recent visit to England he was greeted by 10,000 protesters in 2019.

  • Yes, Trevor boy, because your revolting country of South Africa is so wonderful that you couldn't wait to get out of it.

  • Your full of shit trevor, he is going to be president again, and have a air craft carrier name after him and be on one of our currency, and win the Nobel peace prize, God bless our president πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ

  • Trevor, you be out of work if it wasn't for him telling your stupid jokes, you sound like a spoile brat. GOD BLESS OUR CAMANDER IN CHEF. πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ

  • yolanda gonzalez says:

    He always say that the people love him when they really are laughing at him for his stupidity. He's a clown and a disgrace to the United State.

  • Peggy Trawick says:

    Fox went out on a dark night, prayed to the moon for some light, the woman said John John, the grey goose is gone with his legs dangling down, with the little ones chewing on the bones.

  • Academic English says:

    Thank you for being awesome host for this wonderful late night talk-show. You made my life easy as I use some of your clips as an introduction for teaching advance English. https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYYkrNQjKwLyEnkBLxoa4FQ?view_as=subscriber

  • TRUMP IS A RACIST RAPING GREEDY CORRUPT LYING PIECE OF SHIT, NO ONE IS ABOVE THE LAW. STOP FUCKING AROUND AND SACK THIS ME TOO BILL COSBY WANKER. HE'S STEALING YOUR MONEY SEXUAL ASSAULTING YOUR WOMEN LYING EVERY TIME HE TALKS AND HE'S THE AMERICAN PRESIDENT . FUCK OFF!!!

  • The one who knocks says:

    4:51 You forgot to mention that , the most powerful country in that list is Iran and they too never did any terrorism act inside Us borders

  • Dreamless Nights says:

    Watching this in 2019. It is like remembering the good old days when Trump's presidency was only a week. Oh how innocent we were all.

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