What are you doing?
I’m sketching. And where are you sketching? In the living room.
No, in my bedroom. And I didn’t say anything
to you, Brooke, when you so arrogantly
claimed the bed
without asking me, but you can’t just waltz
into my room and turn it
into a damn art fair. Gary, I’ve only taken up
a little bit of space, so… I don’t care if you only
took an inch. There might not be
a door here, but this
is my domain. Okay? I don’t go into your bedroom
and set up a goddamn sawhorse. Well, then what the hell
is that pool table
doing in the dining room? Because that’s a common area.
And that’s where this belongs. Not in my room.
Hey, what are you doing? It belongs in another
Gary. People want to come home
and they want to relax
in their room. Gary, it is 2:00
in the morning! Don’t you drop my things.
I don’t know
what to tell you, kid. This is how I am when I’m single. My hours start to get
pretty strange. Might be time for you
to think about moving out. Why would I…
No, I’m not moving anywhere. Gary, just please
turn the volume down. Yeah, but I don’t tell you
what the hell to do
in your room. You can doodle. You can dance. You can bake
a goddamn gingerbread house. I don’t give a shit. But in my room,
I want to relax
and watch my highlights in complete surround-sound
experience. What the hell are you doing?
You’re not even gonna
watch it! Don’t tell me what I am
or aren’t not doing. Oh, what you are not, not doing? Go learn some English.
Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t have a grandfather
on the board of
some fancy college. Key word being “was.’ ‘
Did he touch the Filipino
exchange student? Did he not touch
the exchange student? I don’t know, Brooke.
I wasn’t there.
Okay. No, don’t start
with the family stuff. Like your family’s so perfect?
Your brother’s a pervert! Don’t talk to me about
the sexual habits
of family members. What about your sister? My sister’s
been through a lot.
Of dick. There are some problems, Gary,
but can we please
just leave it… Problems? She slept with
the entire Arizona Cardinals
offensive line. That’s not problems.
That’s she’s the problem! She was on vacation!
She was on vacation. Don’t even get me started,
by the way, on your brother. If I have to hear
that guy sing
just one more time, I’d hang myself
with wax dental floss. Could the guy just
come out of the closet,
please? Richard is not gay. Okay, lassie,
I want you to listen to me
and listen good. I’m not saying
he won’t get married. I’m not saying
he won’t even have kids. But then one day
his wife will come home, and then she’ll find him
with a guy named Majulio, wearing leather helmets
and clubbing each other
to Yanni’s greatest hits. Yeah. Right. Whatever.
You’re an infant. Yeah, I’m an infant. Go enjoy your room, Brooke,
’cause I’m gonna enjoy mine! Okay.
You know what? I might enjoy
options tonight. It’s gonna be a long one,
sweetheart,and I got nothing to do manana
but sleep in.