Taking a Break from YouTube (Ft. Bethany Mota) – Off The Pill Podcast #23

Taking a Break from YouTube (Ft. Bethany Mota) – Off The Pill Podcast #23


And I just what obviously wasn’t expecting it so I just fell to the ground and I was like wearing a dress I don’t know what it is about dance, but Women just love it. It is attractive. It is just a cow like right there at the window cuz they just broke free Are we good we’re good to go. Alright Welcome back to another episode off. Uh, oh, I didn’t I messed up. Sorry. Welcome back to another episode of off the pill podcast. Oh, It’s the wrong song. I guess we’ll go with that We’re struggling today, we have a special guest miss bethany mota in the house And of course as always we have david the moderator seat Baby the moderator see he’s about to get replaced as we have all the Leto right next to us So We are like I said, we were here with Beth and thank you for being here. We didn’t know were so close Yeah, we were what were you just talking about before we started rolling? We were doing time Oh something we’re talking about The room that Dietrich’s made for him. All right, so just to preface that. How did you bring that up? Well, let’s let’s have a little bit of a introduction, you know something for some of the audience That doesn’t know who you are me true. So who are you I Wow introduction here we go. Um, I am Bethany mota. I am a youtuber I’ve been making videos for gosh, like Sometimes annoying. Yeah, like ten years now Wow and I do other things like music and designing and Just a lot of different things and mainly I just do social media stuff. So you brought in over ten million subscribers Yeah, no, so that’s very early news. Almost a billion views. Yeah Are you um? Still working you were working with not Abercrombie Just arrow pasto. Are you are you still working with them or no? No ended and I think like 2015 okay, but it was like a few years and really really cool It just I felt very out of place because I was suddenly thrown in with all of these like legit Fashion designers to like help me put this collection together and I did well though it did really well It did better than I could have ever expected. But yeah, it was definitely like crazy that I was like 18 at the time 2050 that’s when I met you. I think right in Japan we met in Japan. Yeah, I was around that time. I think Even later. No, I think it was way before that. Oh, really? I think it was like it was a while ago twelve or something. Mm-hmm. Oh, wow. Yeah How old were you at the time at sixteen? Okay, that would mean sense. Yeah, we got you to eat squid ink remember We heard you’re really picky I still remember that yeah terrified I know it wasn’t that bad though. You didn’t like it It was pretty bad how did the Arab hostel, like think umm about him kind of interested in how that kind of came about Did they just reach out to you randomly or I? Well, it started with just like a casual meeting Like I didn’t think anything was really gonna come of it and we basically just did a few meet and greets like in New York and They were like, whoa. We want to work with you more so I basically like picked a few items from their existing line and like put that out as like these are my top picks and then those Kind of all sold out and then they decided they want to do like a full on like partnership. So I launched the bethany mota clothing brand under them and so I was in all of their stores and online and It was really successful it was just really fun also to like actually design and have something out there that everybody was like could actually have and wear and Yeah, it was a crazy experience You’re 16. I think I’ve never been 17 or 18 when that happened. That’s crazy That’s still pretty young good you’re working with a bunch of adults Yeah, that’s what’s crazy too is like because I’m older now I mean, I’m still young but it’s like I’m more aware of what was actually happening. I feel like because it all happened so And because I got into it so young I didn’t really know what was going on almost like not to say I didn’t appreciate it but kind of kind of like I just was so unaware of like how like one-of-a-kind that was Because it was deal. That was right. That was a pretty big deal. Right especially at the time for youtubers That wasn’t like you really one of the first to get a major. That’s a major brand like it’s a I think right Yeah, no, absolutely Not no, we don’t have that in Hawaii though I think in a while, but when I heard about I was like Oh, I’ve heard of that before and then like that’s a major Brannen for youtubers back Then we weren’t getting those kind of deals now, maybe yeah back then it was a big deal But are you still so you’re not working with them anymore? But are you still doing you’re still doing fashions related things, right? Uh, Not like developing clothing. I mean, it’s something that I definitely want to do more in the future But I think it’d just be Much different than it was back then because I was also obviously a lot younger So I think anything I put out now is just gonna be like a little older But I haven’t been designing. I’ve just been like like I still do fashion related content, but just not like designing clothes That’s your main focus to look back to making more videos because you did take a look a break for a bit, right? Yeah, I Took like I feel like I took a lot of little breaks and then I took a pretty big break most Recently and I think it’s just like it started probably end of 2014 when I was kinda just like I am so Burnt out on this thing because I was going hard for Years, and I honestly had no social life. Like I didn’t have any friends I was also homeschooled when I started making videos So getting into it when I first started first couple years It was like three videos a week Wow and no one on my team. So it’s just me filming editing everything and I didn’t socialize So my question is if you’re a homeschooled, how did you like come across? YouTube and knowing that you could make videos and stuff like that it was actually because I was home-schooled that I feel like I was more aware of it because I was home all the time and So it was like always online and then I stumbled across it I feel like actually if I was in public school at the time I probably wouldn’t have cared as much about it and definitely wouldn’t have made videos I think was just because I was just bored and so I started watching them and then decide to make them Also being so shy growing up. I think if I was in public school, there’s no way I would have even started a channel but it was because I felt like I was kind of like Hiding in a way and then this is like me being able to talk to the world from like my own room. That’s true I feel like back in the day, especially like I don’t know if this is true or not But I feel like a lot of the older youtubers people who start a long time ago or more Like shy and introverted people who fall in the space to express themselves, and it’s kind of changed to like the opposite Yeah, I noticed that I think there back then there was a lot of it was mostly I think Introverted right people that felt like this was kind of their only outlet To actually express themselves in ways that they would never do in front of people, right? And then now it’s uh, I mean, I don’t want to say it but it sounds like it was like like the losers the loser kids who are kind of on it and it kind of made it big and then now the cool kids are here you Know like the Logan Paul is like tall Buff looking good-looking dudes and like, you know, we weren’t that back So we found a space where we were like safe, but now the cool kids took over Do you feel like it kind of helped your person like help develop your personality. Oh, absolutely like even comparing Ben to now My first video I was so awkward I mean, I’m still awkward but back then it was so bad Like I was whispering in the video because I didn’t want anyone to hear me talk like in my house And then I also was wearing glasses back then because I was too afraid to wear contacts so every video I’d have to like take my glasses off and Just be like school win team just so I could look in the viewfinder and like see what was going on so Awkward and so scared but don’t you think that’s what made you loveable though? Like to the people who really like loved you? They’re like, oh my god. I relate she saw quick I think that’s like why we watch people like we watched certain people that we kind of yourselves in So I feel like a lot of girls that were my age could relate to so much of what was going on with me back then cuz I was just Really trying to figure it out kind of all over the place Well, what’s getting back to the just because I brought it up earlier But didn’t continue about the story that you were telling us about. Oh, yeah that Dom So you’re dating d-trix? It’s not a secret, right? It’s very public. I lived with d-trix for a long time and now He’s actually the reason why I moved out to LA for like a few years. But uh, yeah, so Dom Dietrich’s is currently What she was he on So You Think You Can Dance they think you dance so he was gonna be here But he will be here another time. He said Well, I don’t know how that story came basically the night that you had your ninja milk release party Dom held a small little get-together like a barbecue at his house and So like a lot of the rhpc guys went and we kind of like hanging out He showed us around and then he was like hey You guys want to see this this room I made for Beth and we made a room. He made a room Yeah. Yeah, what was the occasion? Well, let you take it away cuz you know this best so basically Dom made a room for me it was for Christmas because we have this rule with like any gifts that we give whether it’s like birthday or Christmas that We have to make them and it can’t be like store-bought So I made him like this light-up sign and I like used power tools for the first time. I was really proud of myself But he made me this room. That was basically he recreated my childhood room and so he did all this research apparently like looking at what my room looked like and like watched all my old videos when I had like hot pink walls, so he painted this wall hot pink and then created this like stitch mural cuz lilo and stitch is like my favorite Disney movie and then He had these pictures of me I like walk in and the first thing I see are these letters at the top of the window that just say little Beth and Then there’s like all of these pictures of me as a baby, but he photoshopped himself into them So it’s like a little babies together Agreed that it is creepy like it is I thought is there though totally I was honestly in tears cuz I was like this is the most thoughtful thing. Anyone has ever done is it creepy a little bit but yeah, so and then he like Screenshotted like a picture or like a screenshot from my draw my life video and framed it which was really cute They’re just like pictures of my family everywhere and then my two childhood crushes which were dylan and Cole Sprouse were like Okay They’re funny. Now. I still don’t want one otherwise none, but they’re twee hazard bunny Yeah Yeah, one of them like works in a brewery has like like Disney are they from Disney? Yeah, you know exactly Cody Brenda song what’s it I Don’t remember Suite suite life of zack & cody. Oh, yes. I heard of that those guys grew up and they’re like Yeah, well I mean that’s like Yeah it was super thoughtful and Yeah, it’s a really really cute room that he got like this old TV with like eh v8. Why can’t I speak VHS tapes? So it was really really sweet. I was crying. How long have you guys been dating? Uh We basically two years we met three years ago and then we dated for Like almost a year and then broke up For like six months and then got back together now, it’s been like a little over a year since we got back together Yeah, you guys are super in love Thing to say Oh Life I mean, I grew up from a family that’s not really touchy-feely but good but when I see you guys together, yes a Very loving person he is he’s such a passionate lover I could tell Well, you guys have met before because I mean like we’re just talking about this earlier But you actually sing and I didn’t know that at first but you you guys came here I don’t know if you guys work together or not, but I know Dom came here as well to work with David Oh, yeah, we did one song you guys made a song. Yeah Dom Dom I think you guys both wrote it or dumb dawn wrote that one. Okay, it’s very sweet song. Mhm And I mean I was I’ve always told Beth this but I think you know, she’s one of the most underrated Singers on YouTube. I think she could have done Music if she didn’t do Beauty, but you’re doing that right now, right? Yeah a little bit. I think it’s just one of those things that I’ve Dabbled in so much and I really want to do but it’s like I’ll do it I’ll like I put out a song like five years ago or something and then I was like, I don’t know It’s I’m just so unsure and also I just want to Like I know it’s one it’s one of those things or it’s like almost waiting for the right time But I also kind of just wanted to perfect it more Before I start putting it out because I just always want to give people something that I feel is of substance and that I’m proud of and if I feel like it’s not really there for me then I don’t Really want to share it that’s kind of like you you do you should sort of like that, too Like I was I was more like that And then now it’s just I make podcasts. Oh No, I mean I mean we still we still have projects like that but I yeah, I wanted to be able to just do things that are like I don’t know free not having like so much thought into every single thing I still want to do those things as well. And I feel like you’re the same way but like What is your main focus right now because you you do so many things that you’re doing your videos, you know like you said you were doing the The clothing the fashion thing and then you sing when she trying to dance to for a little bit Obviously you learning dance if you’re living well You’re not living with Dom but since you guys are dating Cuz all he does is dance and every moment if he will be in the car and he’ll just start like yeah He does I started doing a lot of freestyle dance you it’s really bad. Uh, no, I Haven’t really been dancing. You would think like we don’t really dance together He’s actually taught me a few things and he’s like choreographed little things for us that we never like finished But dancing is something that I kinda really only Went for with Dancing with the Stars like that was the most I’ve ever really pursued that I kind of wanted to pursue it a little more after the fact but Yeah, I don’t know. I think it was fun But it’s definitely not something that I see myself doing like it being amazing fun You were like, I thought you were a dancer from that. I mean, you’re pretty good I mean I took dance classes growing up and then Once I got the offer for Dancing with the Stars I was like I really want to do it cuz dance is always something that I really enjoyed but just never really went for And yeah, I think I definitely surprised myself Maybe was also just like having such a good teacher, but I definitely found myself doing things that I didn’t know I could do Especially because it’s so many different styles it’s like every week it’s like you’ll have salsa then you’ll have like jive then you’ll have like contemporary and So I just became more aware of my body, which was really cool But yeah, I think I kind of fell in love with dance a little bit during that show It’s just something that is kind of cool to have like I think I could incorporate it into certain things in the future But definitely wouldn’t be like my main thing. How long ago was that when you were on that show that was 2014 I think would you say that you’re Your excitement about dance got you more interested in dawn It was about the time right? Yeah, I thought about that. I don’t think so Maybe she maybe it was like a subconscious like wow. I’m really loving dance Good. This guy is a dancing that’s actually attractive. That’s actually what made us like Hang come together. Yeah, because it wasn’t like a YouTube YouTube creator summit like one of the after parties and I was just really into like anytime I would be at an after-party or anything. I’d always be salsa dancing. I don’t really know how to do it But I enjoy it. And so I just remember There was like this crowd of people and I was like who here is gonna salsa dance with me tonight? And I kind of knew you said that no I just thought it I thought that every time I would like go to a party I was like who? Here looks like they would salsa dance with me And so I knew he was a dancer obviously and so we just started salsa dancing and then we just like dancing with my instant the attraction that was actually the first time that I Was like, oh he’s cute because I met him before that at the Tony Robbins Conference and I just he was like cool as I go cool cool, but isn’t really intuitive. See the skills. Yeah, I didn’t see those moves I was like see the advantage of being a dancer because I don’t know what it is about dance, but Women just love it. It is attractive it is and yeah, it’s attractive when someone knows how to move their body. Mm-hmm Well Paco can dance is how’s that working? Not any more? I used to as a breakdancer b-boy. Oh really Dom did but he got more into like, uh, it was a go choreo, I guess Dom’s well versed in in dance David and I was variants at all. I’m the worst dancer. I’m too stiff like I look like a would Going back to what David was saying like you’re actually a good singer and David doesn’t just give out compliments He’s very blunt actually borderline mean to people that don’t know how David is like talented people Yeah Like they will be straight up and he won’t say you’re good unless you all unless you really are But he does tell I’ve asked David before I was like can everyone sing and what was your answer to that? All honesty you want me to be honest or happy off be completely honest can anyone sing or learn to sing? Yes, yes, they can learn to sing But but I do believe some people are born with natural talent and some people will never have that will never sound good even if even if they learn they won’t have that I think weird that but with dance David and our that will with dance that’s what I’m saying Like I you look like a dancer when you dance even he looks like a dancer when he dances But when David and I dance where that where those people who just can’t wait. I think I can No, what I’m saying is you can learn but you’ll never be you never look I’ll never be a d-trix. Yeah, that’s for sure Wait, so you’re saying so like I said some people that are really great singers that it’s natural someone who worked really hard could never like attain that sort of I’m gonna disappoint a lot of people no but to a certain level it’s true, right? I think that they come down to just their natural speaking voice. That sounds better I don’t think it’s about the speaking voice for me I think it’s more about like so the way that I would explain is, you know, you find young kids who are amazing singers Right you guys agree with that? You’ll see like turn on on those TV shows. They’re naturally gifted They did not learn how to do that because they were taught they were just born that way and I think there are a lot of people like that in many different fields like including dance singing or Intelligence, right? I think like there are people who are born with it But then I do think that you could work on anything you can get good to a certain point But I don’t know if you could achieve greatness That makes sense. I think it’s true. It’s just like being good at basketball, right? like I could be the like I could work my ass off and I’ll still be five eight and never in the NBA and Even there are five eight players shorter people who can dunk I think no matter how much I would have work like that. I could come haha I can done There’s a basketball game that Ryan and I are playing and those right after the game We’re kind of sitting down just like relaxing and then this one Asian kid just like Palm the ball ran up and dunked and He was like a little bit shorter. And the first thing me and Ryan did was we stood up Really He’s shorter than us but like possible so I mean Why did I bring that up Oh About Island musical time. Yeah, and then in for dance like you could dance because it’s kind of natural for you I was saying like no matter how much David and I train we’ll never we could get good to let the point our cap I think I Get it. Yeah, but like you have like this high cap for like dance and singing. Mm-hmm, and I don’t know things that you I mean, I would never do that show. Let’s put it that way Dancing with the Stars you’d never do it Never there’s got to be some great incentive for me to embarrass myself that way but also I think taking this and in another Route is like you are a very kind of introverted kid it sounds like But you have all these natural talents within you that what did you kind of always just know what’s there or was it just like Oh this seems interesting and you pick it up very easily I Like with the singing I feel like I was always singing when I was younger And I just remember remember like getting mad when people in the car would sing with me and they were like off-key Eight-year-old me so mad about that. That means you have really good. So we’re saying is a pitch and like I think I mean This is a question. I like to ask a lot of musicians and singers is who and your family is Musically gifted so usually when I ask my musician friends, it’s either their mom dad both Grandpa grandma. It’s always like that. So I was wondering if if that applies to you as well. Maybe an uncle or not It’s like gifted and actually a lot my mom is and my grandpa and then a lot of my cousins is a mom So my mom sign gotcha. Yeah, so it’s it’s true. My theory is still correct see it So it is something you’re kind of born with and it is to I mean to a certain degree it’s gotta be genetic right mikage in your genes because I mean I It’s gonna sound bad but like there’s certain ethnicities that ever like my majority of that ethnicity can sing You know, I mean like I think the majority Filipinos but a lot of Filipinos can sing a lot like black Most of them I know can at least sound better than your average person. Yeah, I don’t know if that’s true or not I might be making stuff up. But how by people I know yeah are all at least somewhat decent like have nice either It’s a nice deep voice or like they came to actually sing or something as a musician I will verify that okay, so I’m not being The truth I find the african-americans Filipinos Generally speaking the darker you I don’t know what it is. I don’t know what it is I think it’s maybe the the their vocal cords their Structure darker – yeah, well pretty. I don’t know now. We’re just basing it on Racist on it, but it’s it’s a great root of thing. It’s a positive stereotype yeah, even I’ve heard some like even You know African Americans are not Greats, they say that I’m so bad and they sing and I’m like, they’re so good. You’re such a liar Like you’re just all really good at singing Or they have a high cap for that right? They could learn to sing, right? Yeah, and it sucks being Filipino and not being able to sing. Well, you’re only part You know what? I’ve never heard you sing because I can that’s what they all say. Have you tried? Yeah. Yeah, let’s hear something. No Next question. That was a nice tone you Next question Okay. Well now we know so you’re gonna be a singer dancer. You’re basically made to be a pop star You got the fashion a little bit of everything. What is in like not joking around? What is your next thing you want to do? Uh, I mean honestly the music is one thing that I’ve Just recently started taking more seriously and I think it’s because I’ve been so scared with it for so long that I just kind of have been diving deeper into it recently and Yeah, so definitely music stuff and then just kind of getting back into YouTube again. I think that I needed to take a break to Kind of just reset and I think I felt this almost this pressure of Also who people kind of perceived me to be for so long especially getting into it so young that was kind of one of the biggest challenges I faced was as I got older was kind of breaking from These ideas of how people saw me which definitely I was never fake Like that was 100% me at the time but then as I started getting older and then I did start having more of a social life and did start like Kind of exploring myself more. It didn’t necessarily add up with what people were used to seeing so yeah, I just kind of needed time to take a break from all of that and It’s kind of like what you said is like I want that kind of freedom back of not feeling so much pressure of everything that I post has to be like the most perfect thing in the world right and just the fact that I could actually just post is enough and as long as I actually enjoyed it, that’s more than enough because I definitely got to a point where I Wasn’t enjoying it and it was Just a big stress ball I can relate to that 100% Like I definitely have seen your vlogs. This is like a wall aback, but Just like knowing you outside of YouTube because I met you before I seen your videos And then I want to go check out your videos. I was like, oh that’s interesting. You’re a lot more You know, like like myself a lot more like energetic than you would be like talking here And it is hiring and especially for getting older since you started at what age was that 13? Yeah 13 you’re basically one of those You’re like one of those Disney kids, right who was trapped in the same Like hey guys, you know like one of those things and then not that you were like that. I’m just saying the Disney No, but when you’re trapped into this thing You just it’s it’s exhausting because you grow up everybody grows up and to a certain degree You just you need to have that switch and people aren’t gonna like it, but it has to happen Look at Miley Cyrus and it works. Yeah Okay. Well, oh we are at the sheshe brake part of our show. So I guess we’ll be right back And we’re back and before we get back actually I forgot in the beginning of the episode But thank you and child to road for these mics because they gave it to us for free And the road cast and the road caster. So again, thank you to Road For all your needs for things that are audio actually don’t know is it it’s just audio Road. There’s a lot of audio Yeah for your audio needs it’s like a their slogan. Oh, I’m reading it like an ad for your audio needs Road Take the high road They could use that they don’t have to use that alright and now we’re really back, okay Do we want to start with likes we have a we don’t always get a lot of questions from people But when we put out your name and saying you’re gonna be in the podcast, we got a lot of questions So you want to go through some of those? Yeah, we have people haven’t hurt A lot of people don’t even know that you started up again. Yeah Yeah, so I think they’re kind of curious about what you’re doing. Cool Yeah, we got one here. What have you been doing? Since not posting videos? We talked about that but I mean that’s that’s what they’re interested in we where we can take that too is a Lot of youtubers or even content creators have been taking breaks lately They’ve been saying like, you know I need to I’ve been getting burnt out or I need to take care of my mental health and stuff and maybe this is something That you vibe with and that’s something that you felt at the time or maybe you feel a little differently So maybe we can get an idea and like pick your brain about that So kind of y-you know, you took a break and what do you been doing? Yeah I mean, I feel like the YouTuber break thing has definitely become like a thing for a lot of people especially in the past like two years I It’s almost like when I first saw that other people were doing it. It was kind of comforting. I was like, okay I’m not the only one that’s like Experiencing this and having these same feelings coz when it happened to me I feel like no one had ever talked about that at that point or at least I had never heard anyone talk about that and So I felt like it’s something going with me that that like I’m suddenly feeling all of this stuff like mentally with my craft and Yeah, cuz when it first happened to me it was I think I didn’t realize that maybe I needed to take a break But it’s been Incredibly helpful for me. I think just to kind of distance myself a little bit and work on myself because for me at least I feel like I was so in it that I completely a Little bit like kind of lost a part of me and I wasn’t keeping up with myself so I wasn’t like my full self for my audience and I feel like they definitely saw that and yeah, so I think when I first noticed it was like 2014-2015 when I was just like I need to like step away and even doing that was so hard because people want things like all the time and it was really hard to kind of step away from that and I feel like a lot of people were confused because I never really Liked old people why I took a break but it was kind of just what I needed to do for my own mental health and just kind of checking in with myself and and just kind of like Reconnecting with the world a little bit and appreciating things outside of social media that helped so much because I used to find myself Almost like getting anxious if I was Like if I was somewhere really cool and experiencing something if feeling this need to have to post about it And if I didn’t I felt like dang it I didn’t do that and I’d be upset about it and like Who am I getting upset that I didn’t show this to everybody? Yeah and I I could have had an amazing time, but I didn’t because I was so worried about posting and I think everyone can relate to that even you know, people like girls who were Worried about impressing a guy. It’s like, oh I didn’t post this thing that I went to this party So I’m so mad about that instead of just literally enjoying it and not worrying about Having to post it because it just kind of takes you out of the moment so that was one of the most valuable things I’ve learned is to actually just kind of enjoy life and now it’s easier to kind of get back into it because I feel much more myself than I Was what are some other ways that you can said you were working on yourself outside of you know creating creating YouTube videos Like what what were some other things that you did for yourself besides not posting on social media? Some activities or like what does that mean to you? Like to that you’re working on yourself is something taking a break even like what does that mean? Yeah, some people may go out to a meditation retreat or see you they know. Yeah, it’s huge right now Some people may just focus on a relationship or some people may go traveling like what or maybe do nothing, right? Like what? What are some things that you? You did to kind of get to that place where you feel free. Uh, I definitely didn’t go on any retreats Yeah, I feel like I didn’t do any of that like meditation which meditation is great, and I’ve tried it and it’s cool I just didn’t really do any of that stuff. I feel like I just more so dove into myself and asked myself questions about like kind of where I was at with myself and how I felt about myself and then I started to realize that also because I Started making video so young. I think I I know at one point. I felt this pressure of like my appearance in my body at one point because like everything that I do is so like it’s always been so like fashion and that kind of focused so obviously like My appearance was a part of that and I think that I let that stuff kind of Tarnish my view of my like self if that makes sense. So I kind of did a lot of like Almost just like kind of doing like I don’t know how to explain it more. So just like thinking about it and in Understanding myself and what made me kind of get farther away from myself and it kind of had to love myself Again, and love myself more than I ever had before which then I think it comes into like a whole other thing It’s not even about Youtube as much that’s just kind of like life stuff that I think everybody on some level at some point in life experiences it’s like I feel like I didn’t fully love myself at that point and then kind of Feeling like I had to please everybody at that point in my life wasn’t helping the fact that I wasn’t really loving myself and so I needed to step away from everything to figure out how to get that love back for myself and It just came down to honestly, what helped me is like being a kid again and like just being curious about life in a way that I feel like I Kind of got jaded to a lot of things in life Kind of what I was saying earlier were when I was younger I didn’t realize what was going on to the point that it was happening so much that I think I failed to even be as grateful as I could have been and that was one of the most valuable things that I’ve learned in like the past few years and during taking a break is just how to Be amazed by life again and be excited about living. That was that’s beautiful. It’s great No, I think a lot of people need to hear that Yeah, and I think because you’re in the beauty space in particular, you know beauty is all about kind of like an outward Parent your outward appearance right now if you write down beauty in the superficial form, but like, you know It’s going back to what you said about Rediscovering yourself and figuring out like Who am I first before I can start putting on the makeup and the outfits right? I think It’s it’s pretty interesting that you brought that up because never thought of it that way Yeah, and I think that’s good for other creators to hear like you said at the time I guess 2015 you said you kind of took your break? It wasn’t the same thing as like this past year right wherever you hear Everybody is like, oh, I’m burnt out. I need to take a break it definitely must have been hard to have to like you had so much success and so much momentum that It’s not an easy thing like even even now for me. This is like my version of a break, but I’m still doing stuff It’s I can’t even imagine like I just just getting myself to this point was so difficult Like, how did you how did you convince yourself to be? Like? Okay. This is the best decision for my life To take a break when you have all this momentum going for you. You have a Successful channel that’s bringing in revenue And you know at any point if you do stop you’ll still have your hardcore fans but you do know if you do stop there’s a most youtubers know that that’s like Deadly to your career, right? Yeah So how did you get to the point where you convinced yourself or where you add a breaking point? Where you just said I have to do it It was kind of both because I think that I was continuing to try to put stuff out when I was already feeling that way and I just felt like it wasn’t as good as it could have been if I was like in a better place. So I knew for that reason that I probably needed to like take a break And it was really hard to step away. But I think it was a bit of a feeling of just like I Know that I could be happier, and I know that I could be in a better place so maybe I just need to to listen to how I feel right now and take the action that I need to and also it’s like I Feel like at the end of the day. I don’t really have anything to lose because as long it’s so cheesy Your truth, you know, like I’m so happy like I’m so happy with life in a way that I’m like wasn’t back then and so I wouldn’t change any of that and and I knew that obviously it was gonna change things if I wasn’t uploading as consistently especially if like There are people girls my same age that are posting exactly what I’m posting that are more consistent than me Obviously if I’m not keeping up with that, then people would prefer to watch them but I think was just learning to be okay with that and not letting that it was almost more of an ego thing and I Feel like once I let once I kind of understood my ego and I was able to control that it Helped so much because I was like, I would I had these fears that didn’t even really exist But it was only because of my ego Mm-hmm fears of like other people surpassing you like the girls your age and stuff like that. Yeah talking about. Yeah Okay, that makes sense. That is a tough thing to do I don’t think necessarily if you haven’t really been a creator, it’s hard to explain that fear Yeah, a lot of people when you tell them Oh, I’m burnt out or like recently like Lilly as mentioned and other youtubers have came on and said oh You know what? They’re burnt out. They gotta take a break I see all these comments are like, oh wow must be tough being a millionaire who’s famous and they don’t really understand, you know Or they think it’s a lot easier to do what we do to a certain degree where even if it wasn’t easy though It’s like everybody knows themselves better and anyone else right? So I think That part of it for other creators. I think they understand now like that’s everybody can burn out Yeah for people who don’t have these kind of Who aren’t in these lucky fortunate situations where some people just can’t take those breaks. What would you say that those people I Mean I mean it’s hard I know it I’m not putting you on the spot cuz I I try and think about that too because I understand what you’re saying But I feel like it’s hard for me to preach that to people who can’t afford to like You know that my job is too much right? I’m burnt out I need this job, but I have to do it How would we I’m just trying to see for myself. How do you reach out to those people and give them the same advice? Absolutely. Yeah, I think that there are ways that everyone can do it to be completely honest. I think that if I don’t think I really What I did in my situation is I completely stepped away, but I don’t think that I really had to do that I think that there definitely was ways for me to continue what I was doing while Being smart in accomplishing what I did in the past few years as far as like myself Personal growth I think I could have done that simultaneously while staying consistent, but I didn’t do that I think it’s because I was just so in fear I was so afraid and so confused that I just wanted to completely shut it all off But I don’t think that was really necessary. I think that’s just what I felt that I needed to do Because I look back on it. And and yes, I did take that break but Part of me is like, you know, maybe I should have just at least stayed a little more consistent and and worked on myself So I think there’s a lot that you can do. Even if you can’t just completely stutter away yeah, I think it’s what I found to be the most valuable is literally just being able to be honest with myself and be Just transparent about where I am personally and just really diving into yourself and that’s kind of the part that can be hard for people too is You know It’s it’s being open with yourself about like what your fears are what you’re afraid of what it is because I think also the biggest problem is that I Didn’t want to admit that it was my ego and I think I could have figured all that out while still being consistent I just kind of chose to step away. Okay with it’s good advice I’m wondering did you have like what is your circle look like your circle of friends? I know you worked with you work with your dad. He’s been pretty integral in your career like Did you have friends to kind of like help you get through this? I know you’re dating DOM, but was there anybody else in your circle? or was it your family that kind of helped you come to this realization and kind of Eliminating your ego Yeah, I mean, I definitely surrounding myself with friends is helpful, and I’ve done that it’s also nice just to like Like I said just be more in the moment with people because I feel like I wasn’t always the best at doing that So yeah, definitely Just making more time for friends and my family has always been really supportive My dad has been there since the first video so I always like go to him for that kind of stuff as well because he’s always very encouraging and also kind of helps me remember like why I started doing it all in the first place and it wasn’t for Obviously like we didn’t know that any of the success was even possible at that point like back then it’s like we didn’t even know That you could make a career out of it. And so he always kind of reminds me of that like the little me That started it. So yeah, and when you started you were you’re pretty young so like like How do you balance like your dad like the relationship between your dad as someone? Who’s integrating your business? And then also your dad like it’s kind of it can get a little weird, right? I mean, yeah, I think it was definitely it was definitely more challenging when we lived together because it was hard to separate the two But once I kind of moved out and like had my own place and all of that it honestly got way easier I think there’s something about it’s like I don’t really want to talk about business Over dinner, you know, it’s like you want to separate the two so I think that’s the only time that it was really challenging but everything else it’s like He’s always just down for whatever I want to do and just backing me up and whatever. My decision is for whatever it may be but Yeah, he’s definitely I got to I got to know him better than you actually on the A couple of tours that we’ve done like a lot of times you’d be like you and your dad and your mom Yeah, and basically be with your mom and we just be hanging out with your dad And I guess that’s kind of speaks to like what you were saying like you were kind of like to yourself kind of thing But he would constantly be like he has good ideas. He’s constantly like pitching he’s Like he’s always coming to music not even for you He’s like, hey, what if we did this what if you did this and he keep pitching ideas So I think I know what you mean when you say like once you weren’t in the household because if he’s constantly I don’t know if he did the same thing to you. But to me I was like these are good But if I had that every single day like morning and night, I think that would be pretty Yeah, it could be a lot. I mean, it’s all great intention like oh, he’s right. He’s great. Yeah, he definitely Yeah, I think kind of tying it back to what David said in the first half where music can be tied to like your parents and stuff so in the aspect of like how hard you were grinding and like possibly like, you know, You burnt yourself out and stuff like it. Sounds like maybe you got that from your dad Just that that work ethic. And yeah, I’m just curious as to what like, what does he do besides? You know before like you were doing YouTube instead of farmer Yeah, he worked on dairy farms cuz we grew up like central, California So it’s like only dairy farms like no shopping malls los Manos Our from Fresno cuz like basically if we wanted to go to any shopping mall We’d have to either go to Modesto at Fresno cuz there’s like there’s nothing in the town We got a target and everybody was like really stoked about I was like my where I’m from Hilo small small town. Yeah yeah, super small town so he would just work on like Electricity and like building dairies and he owned his own dairy business. So he was like knew how to be a business owner But yeah, I was all like dairy farms up until I asked him to be my manager Do you know to milk a cow? I don’t I’ve been around a lot of cows, but I never Never tried to milk when I had a lot of pet cows too because we lived though, isn’t it? You have to you know, hey, what do you mean? I mean, I was a farmer, I guess dairy everyone talked about their pets in there also if you’re No, they just they went to another farm they just went through the other I mean, I I don’t know. I’m Family members who had college but they had them for different reasons Yeah, we we had cuz we lived literally on a dairy farm one of the farms that he worked on and so we just had Like a bunch of cows. I remember one night like two o’clock in the morning there was a bunch of noise outside of the house and I Woke up, and there was just like cows like I opened the window and just a cow Like right there at the window cuz they just broke free And so your sleep surrounding our honey, I grew up with cows too all around me. So it’s like that constant I know I can I can just smell it I can smell where you live manure. Yeah Do you have any siblings? Everyone’s sister younger older She is older. She’s five years older and she has two Beautiful daughters. What does she think about your YouTube career? And She actually started a channel like shortly after I did and she was going with it for a while I don’t know if she’s still posting on it. But yeah, she got into it for a second – it’s funny cuz I think she might have made fun of me right in the beginning when I started and then she was like I’m gonna get on this – in what way like, what are you doing? Yeah, do you think you are? Yeah, I feel like everybody. Yeah, I got about so much flesh in the beginning. Yeah She was probably had public school. Like my sister makes YouTube videos Public school. Yeah, okay, and then you were saying on the break that you you chose to go? Do private schooling? Yeah, and your sister chose the public route Why did you choose? Private school instead of public. I just was I just never really liked public school and My parents just gave us a choice or like if you want to be homeschooled you can so I was like, okay I’m doing that I just felt like I Just felt like I was wasting time like in between Like if I cuz if I had it my way I was like, I just want to go to school do all the work No recess no lunch just like let me do all the work and then go home and that’s what homeschooling was Is it still like five hours a day or well, well, how long at school? Yeah, how does that work? How does the homeschooling system I never asked this to someone before but I’m does it yeah What do you wake up at a certain time? Do you just do York when you want? Um your Yeah, you basically do whenever you want. That was a problem though is I feel like it definitely taught me a lot about like managing my own stuff and like having a schedule a little bit though because actually not maybe not because I Started to get in this habit where I would do all my work For the week like the night before I had to go in because basically I still had a teacher so I’d meet with a teacher Once a week and I would give her all of my work for that week and then if there were any tests then I would Do those tests? And so basically it’s like if I had to meet with her every Tuesday I would literally leave all my work for like Monday you’d procrastinate which is the same thing as every other student in public school Really? I would do my work as soon like in class if I could like homework and stuff like that just so I could like Have fun at home. It was just so I don’t have to worry about it. I was opposite Well, anyway, that’s in know you had a I thought it was your parents that I you know, I don’t know much. Yeah Well, I mean, I would like supervise I guess or like held me here and there but yeah It’s like I had an actual teacher technically got it so with a teacher like go to your home or you me now at this place and there’s other Homeschooled kids or is it just like one thing she’s you would like go in and there were like all the teachers and their cubicles Really interesting. So did you have any friends then any we kind of talked about it? but yeah, I did I had friends from public school and then also once I became Homeschooled for a couple years that’s when I was in dance class and then I took theatre for a little bit too So I made new friends through that Well, do you still keep in touch with them or um? Not so much. I mean a few like when I go back home, but yeah, not not as much as I should Well, that was one long Twitter question Do you have any scary fan encounters? Oh It’s a pretty consistent question. Yeah, yeah, hurry scary or just like interesting less interesting creepy Yeah Okay, a really good pitch that was a good pitch the way that she said yeah you got some okay Hmm well I have one that’s like weird to talk about Now a curious no, um This guy a while back, this was probably I don’t even remember May 2013 2014 this guy That watched my videos. He was a lot older than me Maybe by like twenty or thirty years he came to a couple meet-and-greets and it was just like strange scenarios But then the weirdest one was I got a like a package or like a letter to my house This is when I was still living with my family and we opened it up in there was like this USB thing and so we put it in the computer and it was the video of this guy and he just started saying like all this stuff and he was just like so I have your address and like I’m going to tell you how I found it and he like pulled up the listing of like my house and It was like clicking through the photos for some reason. I’m like, yes, I know what my house looks like Photos of your house well Like has he found the listing of the house mine? and so just like started clicking through it and just like was like you should like just basically he was telling me like I should Be more careful with my personal information cuz like it could really for him He was like it could affect your well-being and I was like you’re so right And just like said some like honestly weird stuff and it really freaked me out and from that point I was like I can’t live here anymore. Is that why you moved? Um Yeah, that was one of the reasons. Oh, so this is a little more recent then not like when you first started no well Yeah, this was like probably four or five years ago Yeah What about your Your parents are not there Anymore in that at that location at the gun. Oh, no, we all moved from there Yeah, so that was probably the most like creepy weird situation yeah, and then I’ve just other than that it’s just been like Little mishaps here and there. Mm-hmm. Well, what about like weird? Interactions because you do a lot of meeting greets and stuff. What’s the weirdest thing? Somebody said to you? Uh I got proposed to a lot but I don’t like seriously though very weird. No not I mean with candy not like Legitimate I mean has has anyone ever gone? Oh, you’re Wow You’re you don’t look like how you look in your videos all the time. I get that all the time. Yeah, but Shorter that too. Yeah, it’s interesting because people see and I’m sure it’s even worse for you because you’re in the beauty space, right? Well, I don’t know. I don’t know. Is it worse? Oh, do they come up to you and be like, oh, you look good and you’re in your videos? They say they say I’ve not seen that before. It’s just like they don’t mean it as insulting They’re like, oh you’re a lot taller or oh, yeah, you look a lot Skinnier in your videos or something like I’ve gotten all of those I’ve gotten that too I don’t know if it’s the same for like you cuz you’re a girl No, I the only one I’ve gotten is height is like a lot Oh really? Like, oh, wow. You’re a lot shorter in person you take that as a dis or I mean I Yeah, not so much anymore. But back then it was like I was really I really hated being so sore I hated being five three and so when people would say that I’m like, thank you for reminding me But that was probably the only thing there was one time at a meet-and-greet. This wasn’t like she didn’t say anything Maybe it was the lack of her saying something that made it happen is like she basically wanted me to give a piggyback ride But I didn’t know that she like maybe she told me but I didn’t hear it cuz I was like really loud So I was like this girl she comes up. She just jumps on my back and What that’s that’s assault She jumped on my back and I just what obviously wasn’t expecting it So I just fell to the ground and I was like wearing a dress Fall to the floor and she immediately just like gets back up and runs away and that was Yeah, so embarrassed I felt so bad Press charges against her that’s why she ran she was so happy like she doesn’t she just wanted like a cute picture How could you I know that’s funny If she’s listening You’re remembered now Have you ever gotten any crazy gifts cuz I know I know from what I’ve heard Females tend to get like more extravagant gifts from fans than males. Like I have a friend She got like an iPhone Oh Have you ever gotten anything like that? No any jewelry? Appeal box I used to yeah, I did. I mostly got like stitch stuffed animals Because she loves one stitch Yeah, and a lot of handmade stuff mostly but never anything really drives me a lot of food Yeah, we got another Twitter question here from Selena What’s what’s the thing that you’re most proud of? Honestly today I was really proud that I got your like super early I was really Yeah, you’re one of those I got here ten For LA that’s like being an hour early It really la people are always late so much that I literally was like should I not go in? It’s like 10 minutes early. Maybe I should wait Yeah, that’s very proud of us but other than that, other than that, uh most proud of Like that’s a tough. Yeah, like in what genre of life? Like whatever you want it to be. Yeah, let’s say career. Do you feel like um, do you feel like you’re successful? Now I do You didn’t when you were actually making videos. Um You had to yeah. Yeah, definitely I think I also feel it like in a different way now where I just feel like I I mean I feel like I know a little more like I still have obviously so much to learn but I feel like I I feel success in a way of like I guess what I understand and what I’m aware of now and like just kind of how I define success too because I think like How I defined success in the past was maybe a little different than I define it now But as far as like my like biggest accomplishment or like things I’m most proud of I think we I think your answer is great like Yeah, yeah, like I think I’m definitely proud of everything that I’ve done career-wise like obviously I’m like whoa that was that’s really cool I did all that especially starting so young and not knowing that any of that was possible and like building something at this age and also just doing something that I never thought I would do cuz I just never saw myself as that person and Even the people around me never saw me as that person. So I’m definitely really proud of that and I definitely felt that success but I’m also really proud of how much I’ve evolved as a person and How I also define success now because I feel like it’s just a lot healthier and more fulfilling That’s a good answer to a very broad question. Yeah, and if you didn’t if you didn’t feel successful, I was gonna say you should Because you’re on this podcast No Ryan Oh Successful, this is a big accomplishment way to ruin a real moment All right, well we’re pretty much at the end of our show So I guess thank you again for being so real with us and for being here. Yeah, of course. It’s the opposite way around It’s it’s our honor that you’re here. Is there anything you want to plug right? Well, she’s getting back in Well, yeah, what are you so you are getting back into YouTube? Yeah. Okay YouTube stuff. So like stuff check out Beth’s channel What’s your channel? Bethenny must hurt. It used to be more embarrassing. Yeah, what was it before? It wasn’t your name? It was Mack Barbie o7 Mack Barbie Alright check out bethany mota she changed her name our channel name and you can follow us at off the pill on twitter And at off the pill podcast on instagram. I remembered this time and once again shout out to rode. Thank you very much. Yes Thank you rode for the fries things that being said Having said We’ll see you guys next episode and this is how we always end it we just breathe into the mic and ruin our road mics in three two one a Harmonized call see you singers There this is really nice

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