Crime Reporter: Man Had Sex With Wife Thousands Of Times Before Killing Her

John and Mary Elgis seem like a match made in heaven. But appearances can be deceiving. The tall, handsome husband to whom Mary swore, “‘Til death do us part,” would murder her. But not before having sex with her body more than 1000 times over ten years. Officials said it was a crime of passion, related to the […]

Headlines From The Onion That Actually Came True

Beloved by comedy fans and comedy writers alike, The Onion began life as a low-key collegiate humor newspaper, before expanding into something far greater. Beyond all the comedy gems The Onion has given us over the years, it’s also been strangely accurate in fortelling actual events. Here are headlines from The Onion that actually came true. “Area Man […]

Breaking News: Some Bullshit Happening Somewhere

And now in a desperate attempt to fill 24 hours of programming, here’s some bullshit that happened somewhere today. We’ve got some footage here of the bullshit which began just after 3 o’clock this afternoon when residents in this neighborhood were shocked to see this fairly common thing happening. An attractive witness described the event in breathless terms. […]