Summer Stupidity: GODS OF EGYPT (Media Review!)

Summer Stupidity: GODS OF EGYPT (Media Review!)

gods of Egypt is a movie about what if the Egyptian gods were real and also robots under what kind of black magic this movie work to get this cast but the lead is Dick Grayson Horus is Jaime Lannister Hathor is Elektra Thoth is black panther and said his Leonidas the entire main cast of this movie said in Egypt is white except for one guy and he dies first I just had to get it out of my system I'm sorry you already know why is that Scottish who cares it's fine everything's fine the movie has two female leads and they both died to motivate dudes it's fine it's fine everything's fine set murders of Cyrus rips out horses eyeballs takes the throne and makes the afterlife capitalist and while that is happening our inexplicably atheist protagonist Beck's girlfriend gets murdered Horus needs his eyes back Beck needs his girl back set just once daddy's approval in Hathor is also there being sexy and much too good of an actress for this role nobody feels really invested and everyone talks about their feelings instead of imodium them but sometimes there's a really funny line that totally blindside you because who authorized this movie to make me feel an emotion the visuals are very creative and beautiful it's just a shame they had to be part of this movie the emotional core of the movie is supposed to be the growing friendship between Beck and Horus where Horus learns to be less of a selfish asshole and Beck learns to have faith in the gods as they journey to restore horse to his full power at overthrow set and that's a fun buddy movie premise that's unfortunately executed very poorly although sometimes they do have some funny banter that makes me believe they are actually friends the problem is if everyone's quipping all the time it never feels like they're taking the dangerous situation seriously so the whole thing feels very low stakes the movie takes a protagonist from one dangerous set-piece to another and never actually makes it seem like they're in any danger there's just enough real mythology in this movie to make the rest of it immensely frustrating ra's son bark excellent sets mad because he can't have children wildly irritating Anubis exists in this movie Horus loses his eyes because of set fine hath or was seduced by demons what demons such big evil plan in the movie is he makes it so you have to buy your way into the afterlife with your worldly possessions there's no reason to do this except to raise the dead girlfriend stakes a little cuz she died flat broke and if they don't save her she's gonna be double dead his other evil plan is to take over the world because of course it is the Robo God designs are actually kind of cold the set pieces are also very nice they do appropriately give set a red motif fitting the color symbolism of ancient Egypt but I'm pretty sure they didn't do it on purpose ra's son bark and the actually flat earth are dope design choices Apophis shows up as this big scary nightmare cloud full of teeth which is pretty cool even though they call him Apophis there's no stakes and no danger and the characters are all really flat but the effects are nice it takes an hour and 47 minutes but the movie does eventually convince me back in Horace or friends this movie is so pretty and so dumb you should probably watch it with the sound off overall I get this movie a three out of ten it's a really bad movie but a beautiful screensaver


41 thoughts on “Summer Stupidity: GODS OF EGYPT (Media Review!)”

  • Dil-Pil Bringer of Humor and Weirdness says:

    “It’s a really bad movie but a beautiful screensaver”
    Couldn’t of said it better

  • Meep Changeling says:

    … Can you maybe not be racist next time? Skin color doesn't matter, therefore it doesn't matter if white people play ancient Egyptians.

  • Allen Babylon says:

    I was just happy there was a movie about Egypt and its mythology that didn't include the slaves and Moses. It's a hero's journey with lots of mythology, and to me, about the same in quality as Clash of the Titans

  • Everyone is white instead of history fact black and the world is flat….
    Everyone can talk about the political mess in the comments below me now

  • I have a theory that the movie was made for people who don't know mythology and have never been to, or seen photos of egypt (ergo they don't notice the whitewashing). But since that group includes exactly no one, it becomes trash

  • 1 that movie is fastly underrated/underappreciated (and deserves more of a 5.5/10)

    2 with all the varying contradicting myths, some creativity isn't out of place.

    3 Thot is not the first to die, that's orisis.. then a couple dissidents and that's just the gods (also if the other gods being white is a problem, so should him being black, but there are acutal gods in this so I guess they can look how the frell they want).

    4 of cours Anubis is here, he has the coolest design and thus is represented whenever there is ancient egypt stuff, heck he most likely deserves his own trope video.

    5 I forgot what I was going to say next.

  • ANewChallenger says:

    You can feel the cringe in Red's Voice.
    her "She just hates this movie but she needs to get through this" voice

  • Krishina Ramani says:

    Seeing you review this movie awoke some far off distant part of my brain where i locked up all the memories of wtf this movie was…

  • Ijeoma Agbaeze says:

    I hope you read this red, and i just want to say i hope you were able to get over this movie with some classic dragon ball

  • Tristan Edwards says:

    I watched this a year earlier, and I remember thinking, "Hey, iss ma boi Jaime Lannister! Alright!" Then I was like, "Jaime… whhhhhhhhhhy, my dude!"

  • "gods of egypt is a movie about what if the egyptian gods were real and-" WHITE?

    it buffered and i couldn't help myself

  • Funny, doesn't waste your time, isn't 80% skit like most youtube movie "reviews". You get a gold staaaaar.

    I have legit no idea why i said that.

  • Jessica Stein says:

    I remember going to see this thinking “oh cool I get to learn about the Egyptian gods.” The whole movie we were just going back and forth with “Wait what’s happening now?” “I don’t know” “Who is that guy?” “I don’t know!” “…what are they fighting for again?” “For the last time, I haven’t a clue”

  • There's already a good way to fix the plot.

    Forcing people to buy their way into the afterlife only serves to cause suffering to humanity, since deities have no real use for any of those posessions. If a god is trying to punish humanity, material wealth fits remarkably.

    Humanity already struggles in a reality where money is everything, so working your entire life just to get by TWICE would suck on a cosmic level, and a god seeking revenge/justice/the punishing of mortals would enjoy that immensely.

    It doesnt have to be just a plot device, gods in mythology have done many stupid things because they hate people.

  • I just went from a Cinemasins video to this, apparently I watch a lot of movie review channels and didn't even realise it

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