So Much News, So Little Time: International Protests Edition | The Daily Show

So Much News, So Little Time: International Protests Edition | The Daily Show

If you’ve been keeping up
with international news, you probably know that, lately,
the world has been crazier than Rudy Giuliani on LSD. To be honest, there are
so many protests going on around the world right now
that we just don’t have the time to cover them all. Luckily for us, not enough time is just
the right amount of time for a segment we call
Ain’t Nobody Got Time for That. -♪ ♪
-(cheering and applause) All right, let’s kick it off
in Hong Kong, where the pro-democracy
protestors are also getting
into the Halloween spirit. To Hong Kong now,
where police fired tear gas to break up protests
on the Halloween holiday. Crowds of protestors
blocked a major road before police came in. The anti-government
demonstrations targeted
a popular party district in the city for the first time. Well, at times,
the protestors blended in with people wearing
Halloween costumes. Protestors and partygoers alike
were not deterred by a citywide ban on face masks. Okay, you got to admit,
that’s a pretty genius move for the protestors to blend in with regular people
celebrating Halloween. Yeah, because the police
can’t tell the difference between protestors
and trick-or-treaters. Yeah. Sort of like starting a fight
club in the middle of Boston. You don’t know.
Is this an illegal fight or just the usual Dunkin’ Donuts
parking lot fight? You don’t know. Now, what’s interesting is
that the protests in Hong Kong originally began
because of an extradition bill, but now they’ve snowballed
into a protest about Chinese rule
over Hong Kong in general. Because, you see, protests
are a lot like arguments in relationships: you say it’s about the dishes, but, really,
it’s about something bigger. You know? Like you
“don’t communicate well” or you “hooked up
with your mother-in-law.” You know? Yeah, you said
I should get along with her! Now, if we had more time, we could talk more
about the difficulty they had reintegrating post-colonial
Hong Kong into Mainland China, but we don’t have the time, because Hong Kong
isn’t the only region trying to move out
of its parents’ house. REPORTER: Barcelona, Spain,
saw more than half a million pro-independence protestors
last week. They’re frustrated
over the jailing of nine Catalan politicians
for their role in the Catalonia independence
movement two years ago. They don’t speak
for the majority because
the independence support– the support for independence
is not majoritarian. Yes, Spain is in turmoil
right now, because the region of Catalonia
is demanding its independence. And the chaos has been nonstop.
Although it is Spain, so they take a little siesta
in the middle of the fight. That’s what they do. “I’ll
be protesting in my dreams. (snores)
“Ah! (snores)
Ah!” Now, if this feels like déjà vu
for you, you’re not wrong. Barcelona experiences these
protests every couple of years. In many ways,
independence movements are like movies about the Joker. You think they’re over, and
then, boom, there’s a new one about a guy
who hates climbing steps. I haven’t seen it yet. I think
that’s what this is about. Now with more time,
we could get into how this independence movement
is driven by Catalonia’s feeling that
they pay a lot more in taxes than they get back
from the central government, but… no tenemos tiempo. Because over in the Caribbean, the country of Haiti is running
out of gas and patience. MAN: A crippling fuel shortage
is sparking protests in Haiti. Gas stations have been
on empty for days. WOMAN: Thousands have taken
to the streets to demand
the president stand down. Catholic Church leaders
have joined protesters calling for political reform. Thousands took part in the peaceful rally
in the capital, Port-au-Prince. (singing in foreign language) Yes, over in Haiti, a severe fuel shortage
has sparked one of the nation’s
largest protests. And although the music
and dancing may confuse you, this is a protest. No, because I know there’s
at least one white couple there on vacation that’s like, “Look,
honey, it must be carnival! Throw me some beads!” That’s what I love about being
black. I’m not gonna lie. Even our protests have rhythm. Like, those people are fighting,
and it’s like… (singing) Yeah, a lot of people
don’t know this, but Soul Train started
as a protest against bike lanes. That’s how it all began. And by the way,
if I were in Haiti’s government, I’d be very afraid that the Catholic Church
has now joined this protest, ’cause nobody holds a grudge
like the Catholic Church. I mean, it’s been,
like, 6,000 years, and they’re still mad
at that snake. They don’t play around
out there. Yeah. You’re like, “He gave someone
an apple. Move on, already!” And on a day with more time, we could delve
into how these protests in Haiti aren’t just about fuel, but also
about rampant corruption across the Haitian government,
but we just don’t have the time, because anti-government protests
are even hitting one of the most stable countries
in Latin America– Chile. MAN: In Chile, a four percent
rise in subway fares was enough to bring a million
people to the streets. Stores
and subway stations torched, the government forced to
declare a state of emergency. WOMAN: While people were
in the streets in Chile, the Chilean president
was seen dining at an upscale restaurant. These are the type of things
that seem to make people crazy. Yup. While the Chilean people
are protesting about not being able
to afford basic services, the president was dining
at a fancy restaurant. Talk about being tone deaf. You can’t be eating fancy food in front
of your struggling people. You should be using Uber Eats. You get that shit delivered.
Come on. (laughter) Now the frustration
in Chile reached a tipping point when the government announced
an increase in subway fares, which makes sense, right? These type of moves always
affect the working class more, because rich people don’t need
public transportation. They don’t know
what it’s like to be stuck on a hot, crowded train sitting
next to a subway masturbator. They don’t know. No. No, rich people–
they take those fancy limousines with air conditioning,
and they sit next to a fancy
limousine masturbator. “Ooh, la, la!” Now if we had more time, we could talk
about how Chile shows that civil unrest is
an inevitable biproduct of extreme inequality,
but we can’t get into that, because we have to make time for one of the biggest protests
in the Middle East, where the people of Lebanon
took to the streets to demand the removal
of their prime minister, because they accused him
of enriching himself at the expense of his citizens. Now the demonstrations
have gotten so intense that the prime minister
has stepped down. But one of the most heartwarming
things that happened was when a mother and her child
found themselves surrounded by protesters,
and the protesters noticed the child in the car
was freaked out, and they worked
to make things right. Protesters outraged
over Lebanon’s crumbling economy completely changed their tune
when they encountered a mother who said her 15-month-old son was scared. ♪ Baby shark,
doo-doo, doo-doo-doo-doo ♪ ♪ Baby shark, doo-doo,
doo-doo-doo-doo ♪ ♪ Baby shark, doo-doo,
doo-doo-doo-doo, baby shark ♪ ♪ Mommy shark,
doo-doo, doo-doo-doo-doo… ♪ WOMAN: Right in the middle
of a protest, a spontaneous rendition
of “Baby Shark.” Oh, man! That is so adorable! The only problem is, now that song is gonna be stuck
in the protesters’ heads. It’s gonna ruin the rest of
the protest. They’ll be like… ♪ Lebanon,
doo-doo, doo-doo-doo-doo ♪ ♪ We want reforms,
doo-doo, doo-doo-doo-doo ♪ ♪ No more tax,
doo-doo, doo-doo-doo-doo ♪ ♪ You’re corrupt. ♪ Now you may have noticed that all these protests all over
the globe have things in common. Corrupt governments,
social inequality and ineffective leadership, which might be a warning
to all the leaders of the world. If you don’t start really
listening to your people soon, they might not have time
for you, either.


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