To be clear, Arlene, you insist that Northern
Ireland must be treated exactly like the rest of the UK except on the issue of abortion,
where it must be completely different. No, I don’t see any contradictions there either.
Great to work with you. Speak soon. God, I hope not. That came for you. More shoes? Yes.
Buying shoes is my way of relieving stress. That and closing libraries. If only we could
get a trade deal from somewhere, Philip. Something that could really rally the country and shut
Boris up for five minutes. It is an awfully big box. Yes, they use so
much packaging. Pull here. And… Witch hunt! Oh, Mr President. What a pleasant…shock.
I thought, hey, why don’t I do a practice run to the united England? I wanted to avoid
the crowds of people in the streets who all love me. After this, you can post me to the North Korea
summit. I’m not going to the summit! I am going to the summit. I am going and I’m not
going to the summit. So you came all the way in this box? Was it a good journey? It was
tremendous. I watched Black Panther on my phone. You know,
I truly believe that if I had been in that fight on that waterfall, for the Kingdom of
Wakanda, I would have won it very easily. A very popular king. The best king. Oh, what’s
that? Is that the Brexit button? Can I push it? No, don’t. That calls the SAS, so best
not to. You know what? Since he’s here… Oh, that’s a good idea, Philip. Donald, we
would love for you to sign this, it’s just a little trade deal to show the
world that Brexit isn’t a slow, creeping catastrophe. Sorry, it’s a HUGE trade deal. Ooh! The biggest
one of all time. Oh, OK. Well, I’ll sign it. But first, let’s talk about me. Who am I going
to golf with when I come here? I mean, not you. You’re not famous. And you’re not hot. We did speak to a number
of golfing celebrities about that, but they say they’re washing their hair. All of them?
No, some of them said they were dead. Listen, I’m sure that a lot of people would
love to play golf with you, and as soon as you sign this, we can call more of them. Uh…
Wait, I want to threaten nuclear war with North Korea real quick. I’m bored. What are we doing now? Well, um,
you’re signing this trade deal. No, I mean tonight. What do you guys do on the weekend?
I like to stay in and then I go to church. Sometimes you mix things up a bit. Yes, I
go to church and then I stay in. I don’t believe in God. I am very religious. You’re not going
to church this weekend. We’re NOT going to go meet some porn stars, and we’re NOT going
to hang out with them, and pay them 150K because we didn’t bang them. That sounds very interesting. I’m going to
go to Singapore now. I might have a summit with North Korea. Or I might have it with
myself. I can summit myself a lot and it can be very loving and meaningful. Well, it’s been lovely having you here. Nice
to meet you, Mr Merkel. Hey, do you guys have a bathroom? There isn’t one in this box. Er,
yes, it’s… Uh-oh, too late. You guys have a towel?