President-Elect Trump Takes On the Crooked Media: The Daily Show

President-Elect Trump Takes On the Crooked Media: The Daily Show


In ten days, people,
Donald Trump will be inaugurated as the first emperor
of the United States. And by the way, if Trump sees
that video of the funeral, best believe his inauguration’s
also gonna have a stripper motorcade. He’ll be like, “Of course
they’re not wearing anything. “All the dress shops
are sold out. “They’re sold out. That’s why
they’re naked, folks.” (applause, whooping) And so to prepare
for the inauguration, tomorrow Trump is going to be working out
some of his material. Tomorrow,
Donald Trump is expected to hold
his first news conference since becoming president-elect
of the United States. The first Trump news conference
in more than five months. Yes! Finally! Finally. Donald Trump is going
to give a press conference! He’s gonna give a…
Or, as he calls it, “tweeting out of the mouth.” (laughter) Now, I can understand
some people may not think a Trump press conference
is a big deal. Partly because it feels like he
never stops talking, you know? If anything, some people are
like, “Hey, can we just have a press conference of silence?
Can we just have that?” But, I mean, think about it. We know more
about Donald Trump, right? We know more about Donald Trump than we know
about most people in power. We know that he prefers Robert
Pattinson to Kristen Stewart. Uh, we know that he thinks Diet Coke is a scam. Which is really sad. And, as of last week, we
now know that he calls himself the “DJT ratings machine.” That’s a real thing he said. The ratings machine, DJT. Just think,
in another week and a half, that’ll be
President DJT Ratings Machine. (laughter) That’s gonna be him. At the
United Nations, they’ll be like,“Le Presidente…
(mimicking foreign language)la Germany, Angela Merkel!Le Presidente United States…DJT Ratings Machine! He’s gonna come in
with the lights bouncing. (imitating techno dance music) (like Trump):
Wrong. This is…
this is why I’m so excited about the press conference. I don’t know
if I’m the only one. Because, like,
we don’t need more information from Donald Trump
about Diet Coke, all right? But when it comes to matters
of geopolitical importance, tweets just haven’t been enough. TV REPORTER:Chicago murder rate
is record setting.
If mayor can’t do it, he must
ask for federal help,
exclamation point.Come up with a healthcare plan
that really works, much less expensive and far
better, exclamation point. TV REPORTER:United Nations
has such great potential
but right now it is just a club
for people to get together,
talk and have a good time.So sad, exclamation point.TV REPORTER:North Korea
just stated that it is
in the final stages of
developing a nuclear weapon
capable of reaching parts
of the U.S.
It won’t happen,
exclamation mark.
Is anyone else concerned,
question mark? (laughter) Even Kim Jong-un is probably
reading this on Twitter, like, I don’t want to be judge-y,
but I think this guy’s unhinged. This press conference
is gonna be explosive, if you think about it, you know? Think, just think for a moment. It’s the most powerful press
in the world going up against the most
powerful question dodger of all time. Yeah, and Trump hates the press. Forget Mexico. Forget Hillary. Forget large door handles. To him, the press
is public enemy number one. The press is dishonest. They’re very dishonest people. Lying, thieving people. Most of it, 70%, 75%, is absolute dishonest, absolute scum. Remember that, scum. -Do we hate the media?
-CROWD: Yes! World Star! (cheering, applause) I actually feel bad
for the press, because, look, we all, we all
think we’d do a better job in a room with Donald Trump, but it’s probably a lot harder
than you think, you know? And this press conference
is coming up, and, and, you know, it’s also
interesting that Trump has put it on the same day
that all of his hearings are taking place, you know? ‘Cause he knows you can’t look
at two things at the same time. But the press, so much pressure
on their shoulders. And-and it’s not like you can do
any better. In fact, let’s-let’s
play a little game. I’ll play Donald Trump,
and the studio audience, you guys, you can all be
the crooked media. ♪ ♪ (laughter and applause) Okay, first of all,
let me just say, welcome, everybody,
to my press conference. We’re doing it now. I hope you’ve got
your questions. Press, any questions,
ask them now. Yes, ma’am. How can the American people
be confident that you don’t have any
conflicts of interest if you won’t release
your tax returns? Okay, first of all, first
of all, what’s your name? -Julie.
-Stupid name. That is a stupid, stupid,
corrupt, dishonest name, Julie. I got business–
it’s so easy to diverse. If– I could do it right now.
I could do it now. Diverse, diverse.
It’s gone. It’s gone. I could do it now. I told you in a tweet, that is
the problem with the media. Did I answer your question,
Julie? -No.
-Exactly. Exactly, ’cause you’re stupid.
Sit down, Julie. Next question.
Who’s next? Who’s next? You’ve said that U.S. citizens
accused of terrorism should be sent to Gitmo and
tried by military tribunal. Can you justify that on
constitutional grounds? Okay, first of all,
what is that accent? Where are you from? Okay? Yeah, Guantanamo is totally
going to be open, and you’re going to be in it,
my friend, okay? You’re gonna be in it,
and you tell all your friends you’re gonna be in it. Okay, next up. Who’s next? Who’s next? Um, you proposed an ideological
test for immigrants. What would be on that test? Okay, it’s very simple,
very simple. Immigrant comes in, just say, Hey, are you going to blow
(bleep) up? If they say yes, we’re like, no. Go away. Okay? And then, like, you go, like,
are you sure? And then they’re, like, yeah. Do you understand? You
understand what I’m saying? -No. -Do you understand
what I’m saying? That’s why you’re not president,
sit down. That’s why you’re not president.

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