Wait, hang on.
Why are we crossing the street? Our house is right down — Wait a minute, you’re
not afraid of the little
old lady’s house, are you? You don’t know
she’s little! All we know is
she sits up there plotting evil
from her window. She’s not there. She’s always there! This stops now. We’re gonna go
knock on that door, introduce ourselves, and put an end
to this nuttiness. [ Sighs ] [ Door creaking ] Huh. [ “The Entertainer” plays ] Well,
that’s weird timing. The, um… The envelope
Alex dropped off. The — The old lady
never picked it up. [ Creak, thud ]
What was that? Oh, God.
Phil, what if she fell? We should go check on her.
Come on. Yeah, I guess so. I am, uh,
right behind you. I’m just gonna go
find a flashlight. Phil —
[ Scoffs ] [ Sighs ] ♪ Um… Hello? [ Chuckles nervously ] Ms. Mann? Hello? ♪ Ida Mae? ♪ Oh. ♪ Ida Mae? ♪ Ms. Mann? [ Screams ] It was simplicity itself. A year ago, Claire accused me
for the millionth time that I couldn’t scare her,
so I came up with a plan. I’d just sold a house
to a European couple that weren’t gonna
take possession for a while, so, uh, last fall,
“Ida Mae” moved in. I told you! She’s always up there! Fortunately, the house was
right on Claire’s jogging route, so it was easy
to introduce Claire to Ida Mae, and when I wanted to amp it up, I had Ida Mae make contact. [ Chuckles ] Hey! Then, this morning… I knew that ax
wouldn’t scare Claire. I just did that
so she’d accuse me of not being able to scare her. It’s all about
plausibility. Damn right, it is. Over the past year, Ida Mae joined
the neighborhood association, hung up a poster
for her lost dog, signed up for Meals on Wheels. They’re not bad, by the way. Also, she got
a lot of knitting done. [ Screaming ] [ Chuckling ]
Oh, I’m sorry, Claire. Did I scare you? [ Gasps ] You did this?
Yep. How long have you
planned this — 11 months, two weeks,
and three days ago, I gave birth
to Ida Mae Mann. Because I da main man. Oh, don’t you dare
do word play, Phil. Sorry. I was having
so much fun! What?
I was wondering
what we were gonna do for the next 30 years
of our lives without the kids
in the house. And now I know — you’re getting twisted,
and I like it. Game on. Unh-unh. Unh-unh.
Mm-hmm. “Game on”?
What do you mean “game on”? This is gonna be
so much fun.
WhIt’s — It’s game over.”?