Nick the Gardener Gets a Break

Nick the Gardener Gets a Break


– SO YESTERDAY
WAS THE FIRST DAY OF FALL, AND YOU CAN TELL
‘CAUSE MY LIVING WALL HAS STARTED TO DROP
ITS LEAVES ALREADY. [scattered laughter] I SAY MY LIVING WALL
HAS STARTED TO DROP ITS LEAVES
ALREADY. OH. SEE?
WHAT A MESS. OH.
IT’S A MESS. I SHOULD GET MY GARDNER, NICK,
TO TAKE CARE OF THAT. [cheers and applause] NICK. [cheers and applause] THANK YOU.
APPRECIATE IT. HEY, NICK, DON’T FORGET.
LAUNDRY DAY TODAY. SO GIVE ME YOUR SHIRT
WHEN YOU– – OH, YEAH,
YOU’RE RIGHT. [cheers and applause] – AND–AND–
HEY, NICK. I WANT TO TALK TO YOU
ABOUT SOMETHING. COME ON OVER HERE. YOU’RE DOING A GREAT JOB
AS MY GARDNER, BUT– HAVE A SEAT. I WANTED TO ASK YOU
A QUESTION. I KNOW YOU’RE VERY TALENTED
WITH THE GARDENING, BUT YOU HAVE OTHER TALENTS,
I’M SURE, RIGHT? – A FEW. – SO YOU WANT TO GET
INTO ACTING. IS THAT RIGHT?
both: YEAH. – OKAY, WELL,
I HAD AN IDEA, ‘CAUSE MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY
JUST ANNOUNCED HE’S NOT GONNA BE BACK
IN THE SEQUEL OF “MAGIC MIKE,” AND THEY GOT
TO BE LOOKING FOR SOMEBODY GOOD-LOOKING
LIKE YOU, RIGHT? [cheers and applause] WELL, YOU KNOW, WARNER BROTHERS
IS MAKING THE MOVIE, AND WE’RE HERE
ON THE WARNER BROTHERS LOT. SO WHAT I WAS GONNA DO
WHILE YOU’RE HERE IS, I’M GONNA CALL
THE OPERATOR, AND I’M GONNA SEE
WHO I TALK TO, ‘CAUSE– – SURE, YEAH.
– OKAY. HOLD ON. [phone line trilling] – WARNER BROTHERS STUDIOS.
– HI, WARNER BROTHERS STUDIOS. THIS IS ELLEN DEGENERES,
BELOVED TALK SHOW HOST. – HELLO, ELLEN.
– HI, HOW ARE YOU? – I’M VERY WELL.
THANK YOU. HOW CAN I HELP YOU TODAY? – WHO’S IN CHARGE
OF MOVIES HERE? – UH-OH. [laughs] I THINK THAT WOULD BE
MR. TSUJIHARA IF YOU WANT TO GO
ALL THE WAY TO THE TOP. – OH, NO,
LET’S NOT GO THAT FAR. [laughter] YEAH, HE’S–WHO DOES–
I HAVE THREE NAMES HERE. TELL ME, DO YOU KNOW
GREG SILVERMAN OR TOBY EMMERICH? DO YOU KNOW
GREG SILVERMAN’S EXTENSION? – YES, MA’AM, I DO.
ONE MOMENT, PLEASE. – OH, THANK YOU.
– “MA’AM.” – YEAH.
YEAH, I GET RESPECT AROUND HERE. SEE IF GREG IS IN.
THEY’RE ALWAYS LUNCHING. YOU KNOW, THEY’RE AT LUNCH
WITH THEIR PEOPLE. – GREG SILVERMAN’S OFFICE. – HI, THIS IS ELLEN DEGENERES,
VOICE OF DORY. [laughter] WHO’S–THIS IS GREG’S OFFICE?
– THIS IS GREG’S OFFICE. – HEY, WHO’S THIS?
– MIRIAM. – HEY, MURIEL. IS IT MIRIAM OR MURIEL?
– MIRIAM. – THAT’S RIGHT.
IS GREG IN? – HE IS ACTUALLY IN
A VIDEO CONFERENCE RIGHT NOW. – OH.
– CAN I HAVE HIM CALL BACK? – NO. NO, I’M– YOU CAN’T INTERRUPT HIM.
IS IT BUSY? I MEAN, ARE THEY
MORE IMPORTANT THAN ME? IS WHAT I’M SAYING. – ONE SECOND. – HUH, HUH, SEE?
OH. YOU JUST HAVE TO BE AGGRESSIVE
IN THIS BUSINESS. [laughter] VIDEO CONFERENCE. HE’S PLAYING A GAME ON HIS PHONE
OR SOMETHING. – WE’RE CALLING GREG
RIGHT NOW. – OH, GREAT, THANK–
OH, YOUR VOICE GOT SO DEEP. [laughter] SHE GOT NERVOUS.
“WE’RE GONNA CALL HIM.” – GREG, YOU’RE ON
WITH ELLEN. – GREG.
– HI. – HI, HOW ARE YOU?
– GREAT, HOW ARE YOU? – I’M DOING GREAT.
LISTEN, THE REASON I’M– I’LL CUT
RIGHT TO THE CHASE. YOU’RE IN
A VIDEO CONFERENCE. YOU ARE LOOKING FOR SOMEONE NEW
TO CAST IN “MAGIC MIKE,” RIGHT? – YES, WHO DO YOU HAVE?
– WELL, I HAVE NICK, A GARDENER. HE–HE’S– HE’S CLASSICALLY TRAINED
AT THE HOME DEPOT. HE IS GOOD
WITH GARDENING. HE HAS GOT–
LADIES, WHAT ABOUT HIS BODY? [cheers and applause] I’M NOT KIDDING AROUND, GREG.
STAND UP. STAND–STAND–
SHOW THEM YOUR BODY. [cheers and applause] GREG, THIS GUY–
I’M NOT WASTING YOUR TIME. I’M CALLING–
I’M THROWING YOU A BONE. I DON’T NEED–
I DON’T NEED TO BE DOING THIS. I’M DOING IT TO HELP YOU OUT,
BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, WITH THE LOSS
OF MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY– LISTEN, YOU KNOW– – WELL, WE REALLY APPRECIATE
THE HELP. I CAN’T STAND
THAT HE SOUNDS GREAT-LOOKING. – YEAH, HE IS–
HE IS GREAT-LOOKING. THE LADIES, THE AUDIENCE–
EVEN MEN IN THE AUDIENCE ARE GOING, “I”– MEN ARE GOING,
“I WISH I WAS A LADY.” THAT’S WHAT THEY’RE SAYING. THEY’RE ALL IN LOVE
WITH THIS GUY. SO CAN I SEND HIM OVER
TO YOUR OFFICE TO AUDITION? – YEAH, JUST SEND HIM OVER
RIGHT NOW. YOU’RE RIGHT DOWN THE STREET
FROM US. – YEAH, I’M GONNA SEND HIM
RIGHT NOW. HE’S GONNA BE THERE. HIS SHIRT IS IN THE LAUNDRY,
SO HE’S SHIRTLESS RIGHT NOW. SO–BUT HE’LL BE THERE
IN JUST A MINUTE. WHAT BUILDING ARE YOU IN? – WE’RE BUILDING THREE,
RIGHT DOWN FROM YOU. – BUILDING THREE.
HE’S ON HIS WAY– – HEY, ELLEN, THANKS SO MUCH
FOR ALWAYS LOOKING OUT FOR US. YOU’RE THE BEST. – GREG, JUST A LITTLE PIECE
OF BACK END– THAT’S ALL I ASK FOR,
ALL RIGHT? – [laughs] – ALL RIGHT,
THANK YOU MY WARNER BROTHER. [cheers and applause] GOOD LUCK.
GO AUDITION. SO YOU WENT OVER
TO GREG SILVERMAN’S OFFICE. – THEY RAN ME OVER THERE, AND HE ACTUALLY WASN’T–
HE WASN’T BLOWING YOU OFF. HE WAS IN
A VIDEO CONFERENCE CALL, BUT HE STOPPED
BECAUSE IT WAS YOU. – UH-HUH.
– AND HE MEETS ME. AND WE TALKED, AND HE WAS LIKE,
“YEAH, WE CAN DEFINITELY– YOU KNOW, WE’LL SEE
WHAT WE CAN DO TO PUT YOU IN.” HE WAS LIKE,
“WHAT’S YOUR EXPERIENCE?” AND I WAS LIKE,
“WELL, I KIND OF JUST GARDEN AROUND ELLEN’S PLACE,
YOU KNOW,” BUT THAT WAS IT. – BUT I THINK HE’S GONNA
GIVE YOU A SCREEN TEST. I THINK HE’S GONNA TALK
TO CHANNING TATUM. – HE WAS LIKE, “YEAH, WE’LL–
WE’LL CALL. “WE’LL GET THROUGH
THE HOLES, AND WE’LL FIGURE OUT
WHERE WE’RE GONNA PUT YOU.” – HOW ABOUT THAT? [cheers and applause] I HAVE TO SAY,
I MEAN, WE DIDN’T WARN ANYBODY. I LITERALLY JUST PICKED UP
THE PHONE AND CALLED UP. AND GREG SILVERMAN
IS A VERY BUSY MAN, SO THANK YOU SO MUCH
FOR DOING THAT, GREG. I APPRECIATE IT, AND I’LL THANK YOU EVEN MORE
IF NICK ENDS UP IN THE MOVIE.

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