NETWORK With Social Media In 2019 | Brian Dixon

NETWORK With Social Media In 2019 | Brian Dixon

Nicoletta we’ve all been there we can
relate to what it’s like to have this baby project this thing you care so much about
and you think everybody’s going to think your baby’s beautiful, but the reality is
they don’t care about your baby at all. Hello and welcome to the show Brian. How’s your morning going? Hey guys. And it’s it’s awesome. Thanks so much for having me. I’m really really excited to be here. Yeah, we really enjoyed the book. We actually found your TED Talks will dig
into that a little bit and then of course, it is our Q&A episode this month. So we’re going to be digging into our
listeners questions around networking a topic that is very near and
dear to your heart as well. So tell our audience a little bit about
yourself Brian, you know, I always want to be an entrepreneur and. I the way that I did that was through
music and so related to some of your story probably Johnny some of your story is you
know, right and song Yes playing on the weekend, you know started in in early
high school and I and did that all the way through college and my
freshman year of college. I was in a life-changing car accident. I went to this little College in Canada
icy roads couldn’t stop, you know got T-boned and three doctors told me I
shouldn’t have lived and I’ll never walk again. And it was in it was in that that period
that transitional period of like, how do you deal with that kind of diagnosis
five days in the hospital and just really having that time as an eighteen-year-old
which most people don’t take that time to really think about who am I why am I here
and realizing that even if I don’t ever walk again? I still have a voice and I
can still make a difference. And so that led me to not
only learning to walk again. But but now I’ve done five marathons, but
also looking at like what’s my purpose and realizing like my purpose is people and I
became a teacher became a school teacher so I kept doing the music
stuff, but I realized in. In the guitar lessons that I would offer
to kids and even Sunday school class and like summer camp like where I felt like
the most alive, but also my highest contribution was in giving back to
students and so for for almost 15 years, I was a classroom teacher and then I had
the opportunity to start a charter school. Which was like like a start-up, you know,
so for those of you listening right now that are entrepreneurs or want your
mentors, you know, thinking about your business, you know, there’s a it’s it’s
pretty awesome to do it within something that you really love within an
industry that you really love. And so I got to do that and that led
to more speaking writing Consulting. So I do now full-time as I encourage
people to find their voice figure out their audience and figure out
their message, you know, it’s. It’s certainly an that have a
life-altering event at such an early age certainly straightens you out to look for
to get the most out of the rest of the life knowing that you use Escape so
narrowly and it’s it’s tough to watch young kids. Now where you want them to see those
opportunities that without having to have that that event which
is utterly terrifying. It’s a role that dies and. You know, I been watching your Ted Talk
and doing some research for this knowing that you found this impossible mission as
an opportunity to grow some confidence. Could you show some about that? Yeah. Absolutely, you know, the
confidence part is funny. I work with clients every day. I do I do coaching. I got Clarity coaching and often. They lack confidence and the reason they
like confidence because they’re not clear. They’re not clear On Their audience their
message or their products and so there. They’re second-guessing themselves. It happens. It happens every day, you know, I’ll get
a message from a coaching client or one of our members of a writing Community who’s
scared and they don’t have that confidence and I really believe your purpose is
people by living out by living out your purpose by serving people,
you know in the book. I called start with your people by
starting with people like looking at the people in your life right now. Just asking. You know, what? Can I do to make your day or my favorite
question is what are you working through? What are you working through right now? I had a few people reach out to me on
Instagram over the weekend and so my message back to them the click that a
little audio button and I just say hey like thanks so much for message. I really appreciate it. What do you working through right now and
the messages I get back from strangers, like people that that I don’t know and
they don’t know me but realizing that when they say, what are you working through? I’m. I can I can help you with that. And so that’s where I think the confidence
comes from is realizing that I can make a difference and it might
not be this Monumental. You know, New York Times best-selling
featured cover of whatever difference but it’s a difference for the people
that are already in my life. And what happens is when I
show up for people in my life. I get to meet new people and that’s
where the networking all starts. Yeah, and of course we’re going to delve a
little bit more into finding a mentor and the right mindset but one of the ideas you
write about in the book is creating your own personal mission statement. And yes, I know even for myself it sounds
a little bit daunting to put together a personal mission statement and for our
audience who’s maybe just getting started in their career as well. Doesn’t have a lot of life experience
doesn’t really know what they want to do with their career that can
also sound pretty daunting. So how does one go about creating
a personal mission statement? Yeah. It’s a great question. Thanks so much for asking it. You know, imagine if you were to have
Clarity that each and every morning as you’re starting your day. You know, you could look in the mirror and
know exactly what your purpose is for the day. So I call that the mirror Manifesto and
actually have a little index card so literally print it out that I look at in
the mirror each day many of my coaching clients have it in their car. And the first is three lines in the first
line is you know how and then this person struggles with this problem. So as an example, let’s say for example
that you you help you help bands get buttons just as an example. Okay, you know how bands struggle
to get gigs to grow Their audience? So that’s how your that’s how your
personal mission statement starts for me because I help authors and speakers – you
know how authors and speakers struggle to clarify Their audience their message and
their products and just by asking that question. It just guys it just. It’s sort of like sets
my course for the day. It’s like a Rudder of the day. I read that one little question and I’m
like I know exactly what I need to do today. What do you think of that? Yeah. It’s incredibly powerful and I think when
you Orient each and every day in that manner, it allows you to stay focused on
the right things and actually see some forward momentum and movement which is so
impactful when we’re trying to build our careers or trying to build our Network. We’re trying to grow as an. Yeah so much. It’s there’s so many distractions today
and it’s so easy to get distracted by the news feed. So I would a hundred percent. I’m sure you guys talked about this on
other shows but instead of starting your day with your newsfeed right really go
deep start with your own priorities your own goals. And I I don’t know about you, but that’s
when I check my news feed for the first time as when I’m starting to get ready
because I’m looking for a podcast to listen to or I open up my phone. So look at some music to listen to some
music and I’m just so tempted to go check that Instagram feed or the Facebook feed
or you know, whatever tool you happen to use. And so just seeing that purpose statement
in the mirror is enough of a reset to remember what am I supposed to do today? I really like that. I certainly know that I have lost out on
productivity and and days because I had woken up open up Facebook only to get
angry within the first five minutes and then stew on something for the rest of the
day because of that and I also know what my days are like when I’m highly inspired
first thing in the morning and and of and it’s your setting it up. And I really like that and one of the
things that I really enjoyed listening to your Ted Talk was we do we all get with
so much technology at our disposal and we have a hard time using it for the tools. That is that it is to for positivity in
the bring things in our life and it ends up being a tool that
distracts us upsets us. And as you were talking about
opening up a flip an Instagram. It’s an endless feed. It’s just going to continue on and on and
on and on until you either get pissed off and shut it off or realize. Oh, I am late for work. It’s time to get moving and what did. Grab from it probably not much unless
you’ve curated your feed to such a point where it’s just pulsing out positivity
and hopefully you can get inspired by by something. However, at least for me, I
know that I need to be engaged. Emotionally in the end the end of the
content in order to pull something inspiring from it and an endless feed
of inspirational quotes certainly just doesn’t do it for me. Yeah. It’s so true. So what the solution is because I feel
like I’ve finally figured out the solution because I just really struggle with
that news feed for theirs and theirs is. You know you you have to decide like this
is how I’m going to use the news feed. This is how I’m going to use the tool, you
know, you want to use the tool you don’t want the tool to use you and and you know,
the algorithms set up to distract us. So as a quick example when it comes to
music, I actually have a plan and that might sound like super nerdy. But like I have a plan for what kind of
music I’m going to listen to and so what one of the things I like to do like I
loved going to shows I love going to live concerts and and so I’ll look. The set list because there’s this amazing
website, which is like a set list Wiki where people are posting
setlist of a band. And so we saw a show a couple weeks ago
and I searched for the setlist and I’m like, okay. Those are the songs that this person is
touring with so I created a playlist in my Apple music but whatever you happen to use
and that’s all I listened to for like the couple weeks going in the show
and I got to tell you guys. I probably had more fun than anybody, you
know, because I knew exactly what song he would play it exactly what
time I knew almost every word. I mean I didn’t I didn’t memorize every
song but I but I knew and I felt it and it hit me in the moment there. What if we could do that with the rest of
our life what if we could do that with our fitness instead of listening to all of
these competing voices if we just had a plan to follow. What if we could do that for a
relationships instead of getting so distracted? We just had a curated feed of these
are the people I meant to encourage. So I’m just going to focus on them. I really like that and certainly the
Rival a lot of value from the show’s. I’m as we were talking. I mean, I love music I
go to shows all the time. I play in bands here in Hollywood. And I’m inundated with new great music
on a daily to weekly basis and I have to write down bands that are like because I’m
going to get flooded with a bunch more and then I’m going to start looking at the
next week the next day and sometimes I don’t even have an opportunity to really
sink in and listen to the whole album and I get distracted. So I really enjoy that and it
gives a I’m going to try that. I think the important part here is
creating some me time ever they were talking about here is creating space for
other people’s cries for attention what they’re posting on social what’s important
to them and that’s how we get distracted and lose sight of what’s important to us. So that mirror Manifesto reminding
yourself every morning of why am I doing what I’m doing and Walling off that
Instagram feed or even your inbox? I know a lot of people first thing
they check their email and of course. Your email is going to be full of people’s
request for your time what they need from you and we don’t spend enough time really
thinking about well, what do I need? What is myself care? What do I need to set
the day up for success? And of course that’s going to follow with
your network and with finding a mentor now before we get started if you want us to
answer your question, we’d love for you to do just that head on over to
the art of questions. Leave us a message. You can also email us questions at the art
of or find us on social media at the art of charm to ask us your
questions that make it here in the show. Now. The first question we got is for Muskan. I can create a great network of friends
when I go to events out of state. But after the event ends, I find it
challenging to stay connected to these individuals and maintain that same level
of excitement and engagement with them months. Now Brian, what are your thoughts on this? I know conferencing and going to events
as a big part of growing our Network. It gives you an opportunity to leave your
hometown and meet some people in a fun environment, but it can be definitely
challenging following up with people. That’s such a good question because I love
when you get to meet people in person like we build relationships through sir, shared
experience, especially guys like guys tend to build relationships
based on shared experiences. So think about it what works in person
what works offline also works online. So what I challenge you guys to do is
once you’ve built that connection at a conference or out of town is what’s the
next shared experience that you’re all going to have so as an example. You know, I had a milestone birthday
about a year ago and I invited all these lifelong friends to come to
Charleston South Carolina. We rented a beach house. We went flyboarding like it was it’s an
incredible experience and most of these guys have never met each other before
and I kept hearing them saying man. We need to stay in touch. We need to stay in touch and I was. There is no way these guys are going to
stay in touch because that’s what we all say at conferences. And so here’s what we did before we left
before the first guy got an Uber to get back on a plane to leave. We looked at conferences that were
coming up that we’re all excited about. We picked one. This was so October to February. So whatever however many months it is but
something to look forward to and then the guys had the option to sign up or not. And I think Five Guys of the 12th Five
Guys signed up for that conference and would happen is they maintain their
relationship through text messaging. My favorite app is called Voxer. It’s like a voice voice
messaging rice awesome. So the so we start a little Voxer group
of guys that were going to this next conference. So I think the answer is just like when
you look at dating like you always want your date your you know, your girlfriend
or whatever to have something to look forward to like hey babe. I just got tickets for this
thing in three months from now. Guess what? She’s stoked for three months. She’s so excited about what’s coming up
for three months and it works in dating. I think it also works in
networking relationships. What’s something you can look forward to? Three to four months from now and and
then have that shared experience again. It doesn’t even have to be an event. You could literally put something on the
calendar when everyone has that momentum and they’re excited and say hey, let’s
do a 90-day accountability check in. It could be a Google Hangout. It could be a zoom and then
once it’s on people’s calendar. As it gets approaching they’re going to
feel some pressure like oh, I don’t want to back out on this
because yeah life is busy. But I promised These Guys these gals that
I was going to attend this and we are going to support each other. That’s one great way and I think the other
one that’s really key is if you had that great moment share the moments that
you remember it that it jumps to mind. If you remember outside of the event there
was this amazing homemade ice cream place. You guys had some ice
cream after the event. You got a great conversation about
something the next time you’re eating ice cream be like, oh, I was just thinking
about we were in San Diego and we had that great ice cream conversation when we
share those memories with other people. I mean, there’s an app called Timehop
people love this when they can think back to that moment. They met you or they
had some fun with you. That’s how you stay in their life. And of course taking what you said earlier
being helpful being generous with your time being generous with information. If you remember at that event that someone
was struggling to start a podcast and you read a great article about the tools. You need to start a
podcast share it with them. That’s how you stay in their life. And that’s how they feel excited that
you are in their life because you’re supportive and your helpful. I think a lot of us are always looking for
that moment of like, well, what can I do or what should I do? A lot of this stuff is really simple. It’s not hours and hours of your time. It’s not every single week checking in
but being thoughtful and making sure that those shared experiences you had at the
event those memories as they come to your mind you sharing with the group. I love it. That’s awesome. When one other quick thing, you know, one
of my friends and mentors Dan Miller he has this his brand called 48 days the work
you love and I love that idea that there’s this Rhythm to your life. And so as an example one thing I do
is when I meet somebody really cool. I will open up my phone. I’ll press Siri and I’ll just say hey Siri
remind me in 48 days to follow up with so and so and then I get
this random reminder. It feels really random. And so pick it pick a time. Maybe it’s 17 days from now
meet somebody at a conference. And you say Hey Siri in 17 days from now
remind me to reach out to and then say the person’s name. Just those little reminders
coming in throughout. The day is enough to keep
that relationship going. Yeah. I mean, let’s use the technology to help
with connections that distracting us and it can when used properly and the last
thing we talked about this earlier episode this month this idea of. Planning other a little events group
Gatherings at the big event, you know, so like there’s a marketing conference
traffic and conversion Summit thousands of marketers are there and of course you’re
going to see familiar faces from the year before and the year before
and the year before. But we like to plan little tiny events,
like go out to dinner before the event starts go to an escape room. Go to the baseball game, whatever the
case may be to get that small group back together outside of the conference where
we know we’re going to be distracted. We’re going to be all I gotta go see this
talk and all I got to run to this room or oh maybe I’m speaking. So it’s the time before and after the
event and everyone tends to arrive a little early or hang
out a little bit longer. That you can create those shared
moments and memories again. If you know that you’re going
to be at an event together. I love it AJ, you know the first time I
ever hosted an event like that it was that it was at a marketing conference and. I didn’t know anybody. I was just getting started in
the online marketing space. I think with social media marketing world
like five or six years ago and I realized that most people have their day plan,
but they don’t necessarily have their breakfast planned because they’re
out of their morning routine. So I called up a local a local breakfast
restaurant there in San Diego is a Broken Egg Cafe or something like Broken Yolk
Cafe and I said, hey, how much would it cost for me to like rent a room? For breakfast and they’re like
breakfast and I said, yeah. I like I’d like to rent a room and they
said oh, we don’t even charge anything. You just have to pay for breakfast. So then I like looked at their online menu
and I realize most breakfast are only like six to eight dollars and if I have 30
people in the room, like that’s an amazing investment. In some of the you know, the premier
people in my industry, so I bought the domain name epic Breakfast Club. I sent I sent an invite to all these
speakers that I’d never met before. I had a couple people step up and say
hey, I’ll come and on Vitae couple people. And so we had like 32 people that
showed up for this breakfast. It was a couple hundred bucks, which I
know for many of you that that’s a big investment in your business, but I
have to tell you the ROI on those. And on that one breakfast has paid
dividends for years and years and and most conferences don’t have any
kind of plan for breakfast. So having a 6:30 in the
morning or 7:00 o’clock. We I think we did at 7:30 in the morning. I’ve now gone on to do it about a
dozen times and every single time. I make a new connection build a new
relationship and find another way to serve another person. I mean. Beautiful on the breakfast. Yeah that morning routine for some if they
fast go on a run go to yoga just plan. It’s a little bit of planning and when you
piggyback off of the event remember the event spent tens of thousands of dollars
on marketing to get ticket orders to get attendees to get people on stage. And of course, they’re bringing all these
people together creating that little sub event. That’s easy. That’s low lift for you because
everyone’s in San Diego. Everyone has a free morning. Do a little bit of
homework and sure enough. You’re going to find and coming up here. We got another question from a student
that you can have an impact on big-name influencers in your industry. Simply by taking the time to gather
people put a plan together help them. Next question here is from rule. He says he’s a university
student and I love. But how do I reach out to the greatest
biggest influencers in my industry given I’m a student and there
isn’t much I can offer. I feel like this is
right in your wheelhouse. This is something you covered in the book. We get this question all the time. I’m excited to hear your answer and I know
Johnny and I have some points as well. Yeah, you guys are the master. So I’m sure you’ll have a lot to say
I wrote a whole chapter about this one specific issue. It’s chapter 11 and
it’s show up and serve. So Raul, like first of all, dude like you
need to know you have a ton to offer and and the key. Is to fix what’s broken to look look
around and to see with that with that influence or that you want to serve that
person you want to connect to just look around and realize that they have goals
that they are trying to accomplish something when there’s one Gap that you
will see because what’s obvious to you is Magic to other people. So when you show up to their live event or
when you show up to the networking thing like wherever you
interact so but in person. So let’s say you pay to
go to this conference. This is my story. I paid to go to this conference there
the it was being led by this influential person and I’m like, I would really
really love to work with him. What can I do? I looked around and I realize
that nobody’s filming it. I was like, how is nobody
filming this conference? That’s my obvious magic. I’m I know that anytime you’re talking
anytime you’re creating any kind of content you might as well film
it you might never sell it. But at least you can capture
what was said in the room. Otherwise, it’s gone forever. So at the end of the conference
I said, hey, this was amazing. I would love to come back. Would you consider allowing me to film it
for free and just giving you the master files you can do whatever you want. I just want to serve you. He’s like are you kidding me? You’d let me do that. You would do that for me. So I ended up staying at his house true
story ended up staying at his house filming the next conference and at
the end of that second conference. He asked me to give a little 10-minute
talk about some tips for filming and that led to me speaking at the
conference three more time. So Raul just show up see what’s
broken and offered to fix it. Yeah. I mean those gaps are. So helpful, and so many of these
influencers people who are trying to grow their brand who are a
few steps ahead of you. They still have those gaps. They have a team of people. They’re going to be typos on the website. There’s going to be mistakes. There are going to be yo, the show notes
aren’t as good I could do better show notes. If you listen to the podcast
you go to the website you go. Hey, you know, I notice
you don’t have transcripts. I’ll transcribe it for you. These are all things that you
don’t need a high skill to do. But they are gaps in other people’s lives
that you can fill and when you fill that gap, of course, they’re
going to offer you the world. They’re going to be so thankful and
appreciative that someone found this and made it better because of
course mistakes happen. I mean we’ve sent emails with typos. We’ve made mistakes on our
website buttons aren’t working. Those are invaluable. If you can point them out in a helpful
way and say hey Let Me Lend some support. You know, we’ve brought on illustrators
to help us make memes of the show because they simply reached out we’ve had people
reach out and huo the intro to your YouTube videos. I love video I can help on that those
little tiny pieces and you may think they’re insignificant, but they really
do pay off in that influencers live. And if you can be the one to offer that
help you’re going to stand out from the crowd when everyone else is asking for
their time instead of adding to their life. You know, we talked about this concept of
adding value to people instead of taking value and making requests of people
demanding their time demanding their attention that’s taking away from them
that’s taking their valuable time. So instead you’re like hey,
how can I add to your time? Look I made this easier for you. I helped you out and
remember back in the day. We had that episode of Jay Shetty. We had one of our fans of the show
literally try to get a meeting with Jay Shetty trying to set up
some time to see him. He’s a busy guy and he’s like, well,
you take Ubers between locations, right? Jay’s like yeah, of course, he’s like,
well, I’ll share an Uber with you. Boom. Right who wouldn’t wanna share an Uber and
have a conversation while they’re waiting in traffic. So there are always these little
moments where you can add value. To someone who you think is two
three four steps ahead of you and. When they get that value from you, they
will be ready to serve you and help you out. Whatever you need make that connection
make that introduction and sometimes even leads to a job. The other thing there is it was certainly
the first point that you’re making as well show up a lot of times. We’ve already put the hurdles in front
of us and to Talked up this person. I’m I chat with. Quite a few people through social media
and have developed relationships with them because they wrote and said they really
enjoyed the show and they write me every week to let me know what the how the show
affected him at what points they got and to cheer us on and I remember one of the
people that I chat with their like, I thank you so much for taking
the time to always reply to my. My my chats and I was like, you know, I
think people think we’re caught what we are so busy when actually, you know the
amount it’s not very much that I that I people write me to ask questions and I
think we put these hurdles up in front of us. And so we don’t have to
put ourselves out there. We do it all the time and for the people
who I have developed these relationships with. I do the same thing if I like
your podcast and I listen to it. I read I find your info and I write you
I want you to know if I’ve if your band comes through my world and it hits I write
you and and I laugh about this because. I’ve written so many bands and obviously
I don’t get replies from everyone but the ones who do you know they now and this
could be some obscure band from some little village in the middle of Italy and
now they have this this person from Los Angeles. Who and who’s written them. Who’s like, hey anytime
you’re coming to America. Let me know. I love your band. I’m I just bought a shirt like
there are over the moon thrilled. That is the one thing that can also. Put them in a position where they might
have been thinking about folding it up as anyone out there listening. There’s anyone out there care and I can
tell you as an entrepreneur is our Dave’s there’s days where aj and I fill beat up
from all of the work that we’re putting in and it’s that one email
that one message for like. Oh, yeah. That’s that’s why I’m working through and
haven’t had lunch and I’m bitchy today, but it’s because this for these results. So good. I love that. Yeah, don’t say no for other people like
don’t assume the know as soon as assumed the yes assume that they’re going to be
excited to hear from you because often they are and when you show up exactly that
point and you do a great job on those show notes, you create an illustration. There’s other work that they need support
with and they’re going to think of you first of like hey, do you think you
can just help me run my Twitter? Hey, do you think you could create some
more video content for us those doors open up by just taking a little bit of effort
and energy to be generous and help that person that’s a few rungs ahead of you and
a lot of times getting that foot in the door can mean getting access to their time
in meaningful ways and all of a sudden they’re going to show you the ropes and
you’re going to learn more and that could become an internship and even a job. Got a message here from someone who’s
struggling with the co-worker struggling with people in their lives. We get this a lot. Hey AJ and Johnny. I have a question that’s
not related to networking. I hope that’s okay and you can answer it
anyways, because this problem is having a big impact on my life. I’ve started a new engineering job three
months ago, and it’s a great job, but there’s just one problem one of the senior
engineers in my team is a real pain and extremely hard to work. For him it’s his way
or he won’t cooperate. He seems to be very good at what he’s
doing and everyone is kissing up to him. But the moment he leaves
the room the gossip starts. He’s with the company for a long time
and apparently very good at what he does. So he has the upper hand in any argument. I don’t feel comfortable with the gossip. But I also don’t feel good about him
running the team as if he’s the king of the world any ideas on how
I can address the situation. I thought about talking to HR. But since I’m new to the company,
I don’t want to rock the boat. Plus I think I wouldn’t
be the first one anyway. Dealing with difficult people. It’s got to be a common
theme for you as well. I love it. You know I’ve I’ve had difficult people
in my life and I know probably all of you listening right now have like one person
if you just think about like who is somebody in your life if you. Like a magic key that would like change
them, you know, like like you could flip the switch from off to on like we can
probably think of somebody right now in our life. That’s I wish I could just run their life
for a day and their whole life would be better. Like I change their attitude
or change their demeanor. I change their facial expression or I
would like eliminate this one word that they say all this time. There’s we’re when we deal with people
there’s people that drive us crazy. I had somebody like that. I’ve had many people but in the book, I
tell a story about this guy I call him Melvin and the reality is we
all have Melvin’s real life. We all have these these people that just
drive us absolutely crazy and really similar to the question. He was he was at the next level
in in the in the organization. So I wasn’t reporting directly to him, but
he had more Authority than I did and there was nothing that I could do to change
him and and I didn’t handle it. Well, I totally failed that. And I felt terrible because a few months
after I finally like moved on to another job. He had a major heart attack and I just I
looked back I tell the story in the book, but I had this big blow up with him
where yeah, I basically went around him. To try to fix this problem that I thought
that he was creating, you know, that was my perspective and and he read me
out and I read them right back. I mean I yelled right back at him and what
I realized in the moment is I some to his level and and looking back on that. I just I never made that situation right
and then he had a big heart attack and I regret is one of my biggest professional
regrets is the way that I dealt with I call Melvin the way that
I dealt with Melvin. So I’d say my advice is
to look at that person. And to realize that there is somebody in
their life who actually thinks they’re awesome. There’s somebody in their life. Maybe it’s their spouse. Maybe it’s their dog, you know means when
their kids but somebody sees that person you’re dealing with in your life that
difficult person somebody sees that person as as like Darren credible and I’d
say what can you do to discover? What makes some incredible because if I
was really honest with myself, I would have realized wait a. Melvin fought in a war like he was a
veteran, you know, he showed up for our country and he kept a safe like how
arrogant of me to deal with him the way I was and he also had some really big like
family drama that I found out about later. He was dealing with like this really
rebellious teenage son who was getting into drugs and all the stuff. Think about what would it have actually
been like to be Melvin in that moment. And then there’s this young teacher who’s
always on his case and is always asking for extra stuff. And so just realizing like they have a
perspective to and one of my favorite phrases is can we clear the air? So I’d say go don’t go to HR go to the
person and say hey, can we clear the air? Like I just feel like we
got off the wrong foot. Like maybe can I buy you lunch. Can I can I bring you some
coffee like can we clear the air? And just doing that I have seen. It just disarms people because they
know there’s not clear either right? They realized that there’s something weird
and sometimes people want to say they’re sorry or they want to change but it takes
one of us to decide to make that change and you can be that person. Yeah 100% agree. Empathy here is key A lot of times people
who are being difficult at work are bringing something else from their
personal life with them to work that we typically are not even thinking about we
just think oh, this is them in their job, especially when you’re starting a new job
and he hit the nail on the head and his question. Do not engage in the gossip. That does not serve you talking negatively
behind someone’s back engaging in the conversations like that when they’re out
of the room does not serve you let’s also unpack this a little bit. He’s really good at his job. Right? He doesn’t have the soft skills,
but he’s really talented as job. So, how could you serve him? What could you learn from him invite him
to coffee and say, you know, you’re at a place in your career that
I hope to get to I’d love. To be a better employee and I’d love to
figure out how you were able to get to that level. Let him share his story with you. I bet in this situation, especially in
this company the way people are talking about his back that he gets the cold
shoulder from a lot of people they don’t actually care about him personally. They don’t actually want
to take the time to listen. You going and having a cup of
coffee having lunch with him? He may share with you. What’s going on in his personal
life difficulty with my kids. I’m going through a nasty divorce. Oh, I’m foreclosing on my house. And now all of a sudden you’re going to
have Clarity of like, you know what he’s not being rude to me. He’s simply struggling to deal
with this other thing in his life. And now you don’t have to personalize it
right A lot of times when we feel like someone’s being rude. We think well, they’re being rude to me. And this is all about me and then we carry
that with us a lot of times when people are being rude and
difficult as a co-worker. It’s because something else
in their life is nagging them. We don’t have Clarity on it
and we’re personalizing it. And of course you may also have
him a cup of coffee realize though. There is a lot that I can learn. Oh he did this and this is how he got
promoted in this is exactly how he set himself apart and this is
actually what his boss cares. Right because clearly if he’s a top
performer and he’s sticking around in the job. There’s a lot to be learned from him
instead of talking behind his back and certainly going to HR and saying negative
things about his people skills is not going to set you up for Success the other
thing that you have to keep in mind as well as. Everyone’s temperament is different and
we like to think that everyone’s like us because well, that’s the only way we have
the view the world is through our senses. And so we can understand why someone is
acting in a certain manner because while we wouldn’t do that, well, yeah, but
we’re not that person and temper mentally they’re just different and I have met a
lot of person people temperamentally who are just hard asses. Just and they’re very rigid in their
thinking and how they go about things and it comes off as cold or. Or very very stonewalled projections. And the thing about it is they have
their ways about going about things. However, if you learn about them, it opens
up a lot of things and and you can only have empathy and compassion through
understanding so you have to learn about the other person and one
of the things I want to. Point out in this question is where he
says I thought about taking this talking HR. Please take the person out to the coffee
or try to learn about them at Ransom empathy first because that’s a whole
nother can of worms that puts both you and trouble at work. Yeah, and if it truly is a personal
thing, can I clear the air? Allow the opportunity for that
conversation to happen and and you apologize and take ownership of your
actions instead of looking for that person. Especially who’s senior who has experience
at the company when you’re just starting out you can put yourself in
a very difficult situation. If you just go running to HR to complain
Alex sent us this message from Twitter. How do you Network online? I’m living in a small City and. Just after college for me. I have no funds to travel to events or
conferences and fortunately, yeah, we’ve covered a couple ideas already, you know,
Alex one of the best things that you can do is just show up on the radar of the
people that you want to connect with and and for those of us that
are creating content. We check our comments. You know, we check our we check our DMS
and Instagram we check when people comment when we check with people leave
a rating or review on a podcast. And so that’s just a great way is to lead
with service to look at something that somebody’s posted. And you know, let’s say
they just post on Instagram. And first of all following them
you just following them alone. It’s like a lot of people
when you get a follower. Right, especially if your if your if your
phone is not that big right now, you’re like who’s this new person and you’re
going to go want to check them out and then to send a DM and just say. Like authentically, you know,
hey, I love that last post. It was great. This is how it’s helped me. So that’s number one is just to comment
number two is to be their best student to become a case study. So if they have a course or if they’ve
ever done a talk, you know, a lot of times it’ll show up on YouTube. Maybe they spoke at a conference. Now, you can go watch that talk on YouTube
or whatever Implement what they’re talking about and then send them
a message and say hey. I was at that keynote that you
did at that conference last year. Here are my notes from it and I want to
let you know this is what I did and this is the. You know, I still do this in my world. I’ll leave testimonials for people. So this is maybe number three or at least
part of number two is to is to say hey, I love this program shoot a little video or
write up a little blurb and send it in an email and say if this would help you I
just want to say and then like leave that comment. Yes. This program has really helped me. So those things alone you’ll get on that
person’s radar for suddenly just talked about this before we started when people
go out of their way to give you advice. Please show them that you
implemented it and how you did that. It makes them feel so good that you were
the best pupil that you are listening that you’re taking this. Seriously. We had just gotten some great advice
over the last week and working with an. Coaching client of ours and focusing on
his social life and he was getting a lot of benefit out of it. So he asked us exactly that. What are you guys working through and we
shared with them some of our marketing struggles. And now this is a guy who runs a
multinational company and he sat there a dinner and for two hours. He’s spitballing with us our marketing now
to get his time to spit ball our marketing if we had sent him a cold email and said,
hey, can you go through our marketing funnel? He’d say absolutely not. But we were of service to him. He got results from the coaching and he’s
like, okay, what can I do to help you out? And this is just such a classic example
and then following through on that advice whether it’s grabbing a cup of coffee with
your coworker or it’s going to lunch or it’s asking the speaker after the talk for
a few minutes follow up with them and tell them exactly how you did what they were
talking about on stage or what they were talking about at lunch
and how it helped you. Is how people become your Mentor they want
to know that if they spend time with you you are going to be their best student
you are going to be invaluable to them. They don’t want to waste their time and
they much like Johnny and myself and I’m sure you you get asked so many questions
and so many people wanting our time and they have this unique situation. They’re different from everyone else. They need us to write back a three-page
email and they don’t realize that. If you’re inundated with those requests,
it’s going to be very difficult for you to then say Oh, I want to Mentor this person. I want to take the time
to Mentor this person. But if that person says to me first, you
know, I was listening to podcast 696 I implemented this. This is the result I got and
now my next struggle is here. I’m more likely to respond and
answer and help that person. Then the one who just
like I need your help. I didn’t take any time. I didn’t read any of your articles. I didn’t listen any of your podcast. I didn’t check out your YouTube. I just need all of your attention
for this one problem and. You know, we certainly do a lot of
follow up with our clients and it’s so disheartening when the next time you chat
with them and follow up in there like well, actually I really didn’t do any of
it and I’m really depressed or I’m just I’m stuck here and I’m out and I’m upset. It’s like well, how do you
expect to get any forward motion? For some progression if you’re not willing
to implement or make these changes and it’s it’s difficult and piggybacking off
what you talked about earlier, you know, if you can take a video cut it up make
a highlight reel for them make a shorter video. They could post on their social
media out of their longer. They might say Hey, you mind coming
with me to this next conference. I need someone to shoot the video. I need someone to make memes. I need someone to transcribe my talk all
of a sudden you might get invited with your travel and ticket included because
you were of service to someone else you looked up to. So, those are some great
ways to Network online. Of course cold LinkedIn cold
Facebook cold Twitter and diem. All work to a degree but to really stand
out from those people is letting that person know how much they helped you and
how their information paid off and one final small point the add to all that. If you reached out to somebody they’ve
given you some advice and let’s just say and we everyone understands
life happenings happens. Everyone’s busy. Let’s say that you had not had that
opportunity to implement that and you’re supposed to have a check-in let them know. Hey, I gotten busy. I haven’t had an opportunity to implement
this let’s talk in another week. The don’t waste somebody’s time of
checking in when you know that your answer is going to be well I
haven’t been able to get to. Julia has a follow-up question for
the challenges that we gave last week. Hey Jane Johnny. Thank you for the networking
challenges this month. I’ve actually found a few people that I
could bring into my network four of them live in different cities and two of
them are actually living in my city. I want to use these connections to form a
virtual Mastermind group with them and I could use some input on that from you. It’s difficult for me to decide on how
often we should meet and how long a meeting should run. I think this could easily become too much,
but I also don’t want to just meet once a month any suggestions again. Thank you so much. It’s just six people that I found but I
can already feel how this is going to make a huge difference. I love it. Yeah, I have a chapter on. On your Mastermind and so I’ve got a
little step-by-step process of how to create it and I’d say one of
the best things that you can do. Julia is to set the rules and then invite
them to come play the game with you because you think about like if you ever
host like a a game night with friends like they don’t want to show up and then you
say okay, which games you have like 30 option? Like say hey, we’re going
to have a game night. And here’s the game. We’re going to play. Let me go over the rules
with you people want Clarity. And so if you reach out to these people
and say Hey, listen, this is how I started my. Friday morning 6:00 a.m. We’re meeting here. We’re going to need for three
months straight or whatever. We’re going to meet we’re going to we’re
going to take this 12 chapter book and we’re going to meet for 12 weeks in a row. We’re going to do one chapter of the
book and we’re going to talk about your questions and put some
action steps in place. I’d say it’s it allow you to test out that
relationship to kind of see if it’s a good fit. You’re not committing two
years and years and years. But maybe there’s a little project
that you guys can do together. Like we’re talking about before
people build relationships over shared experiences. So you set the table and
then invite them to come eat. I love that it I think again the more
clarity you have the easier it is for people to say. Yes. The other thing I would add to this since
its virtual and whatever platform you’re using for the most part
should allow you to record. So you can say I want to do this for
12 weeks will record the sessions. So I’ll allow you to miss one or two. But if you miss more than that, we’re
going to find someone else who wants to participate in The Mastermind group
so that people sign up they know. Okay. It’s a 12-week commitment. I’m going to meet every Friday
morning at for 12 weeks. Oh, there’s something come up. Okay. I know that Julia is recording this
so I can catch that one session. But I also know if I missed too many
sessions that she’s just going to find someone else. And then after that pilot, you’ll know. Well, you know the six people we
only have three show up every week. So maybe every week is too much. Maybe it should be every other week. And then you ask people. Hey, why were you unable to make it and
if they say well I just didn’t have enough time to get to the stuff. We set up. I didn’t really feel like
I was making Improvement. So I didn’t want to waste anyone’s
time then you know, you guessed wrong. But as you said it’s better to have
Clarity upfront than to put a pole together and just kind of wing
it and say oh, I don’t know. Maybe we’ll do every other week. What do you guys think because people
don’t agree to those terms people just be like, you know what I have other stuff
going on, but when you’re very clear there’s a start and end date,
you know the time ahead of time. It’s very easy for people to
commit to something like that. Yeah. It’s interesting. I know we’ve had this conversation where. People ask for that time and I can only
imagine so you got these people to agree that hey I’d be interested to
join your Mastermind group. And then you start asking him all these
questions like well, I gotta put this together for you, too. You’re the one that asked me to join and
now you want what you want me to run it as well. So have all those things worked out. It’s very important it
make it easy for everyone. Who said yes. To just opt in and be a part of that and
when you think about those six people, is there a common goal that you all have
right if that common goal is right our first ebook and in 12 weeks or launched
our first course in 12 weeks or build our website in 12 weeks. They’re more likely to participate in a
mastermind that has a clear goal in mind as well instead of just a general
Mastermind because for me with everything going on a general Mastermind where every
week, I don’t know what the questions are going to be about. I don’t know what we’re covering be very
difficult for me to commit to but if I knew that at the end of 12 weeks, I’m
going to have a digital course launched or we’re going to double our podcast
listenership or whatever that goal. Make it common amongst all the group
members and you’ll find they’ll be more committed and they’ll attend those
meetings and don’t be afraid to guess wrong. You know, it’s your first Mastermind. You might find that hey weekly wasn’t the
right option but try again change it tweak it and improve it. Here’s a question. We got at questions at
the art of Hello age and Johnny. I have a long list of influencers that
I would like to connect you, but I don’t know how to get their attention. I’m just starting out with my own YouTube
channel, and I have nothing that I could offer to them. So I’m just one of the millions of fans
that they have any suggestions on how I could stand out from the crowd. Thanks. The lonely YouTuber. I love it the lonely YouTuber. Well think about the skills that you have,
you know a little exercise that I get. My coaching clients to do is to pick
another person that’s not in your industry. So my go-to example is my 93 year old
grandmother and you take a piece of paper or a whiteboard and you
write out a teacher. So she is in one column. I am in the other and then you
write out a list of everything. You know how to do that. Your 93 year old grandmother
does not know how to do. Because what you’ll find is
there’s a really long list. So when it comes to video editing social
media posting on YouTube all those sorts of things. Once you create this list of all of these
skills, you have then you look at that influencer list those people that you
want to connect to and you think okay. I can’t start with everybody. Let me start with one person. So who on here would really benefit. From one of the skills on this list and
let’s just lean into what you want to do, which is youtubing. So let’s look at somebody who has a
YouTube account but could optimize a little better. So maybe it’s a thumbnail
for their videos. That’s a really easy way to start. So take one of their most recent video. Create a custom thumbnail send them an
email and say hey, I created a custom thumbnail for your last YouTube video
and just just test it out because not everybody will write you back not
everybody will say thank you and then we’ll change it. But but you know, maybe one out
of ten maybe maybe one out of 20. Is it worth it to spend that time creating
those custom thumbnails to try to get that person’s attention to serve them. Well, absolutely and what might actually
happen which we’ve kind of talked about already that one person when
they say I love the some nail. Um, can you log in and do it for me? Right? Can I hire you to do
this on a regular basis? Like it just leads to more relationship. Yeah, and as we talked about earlier
creating some testimonials talking about how that influencer influenced you and how
that YouTuber impacted your life and and even making highlight reels for that
YouTuber making shorter videos of their longer content consolidating
things or telling them. Hey, you know, I noticed
you have a bunch of. Videos around this topic what
if you put a playlist together? And here’s the way that I would organize
the playlist, you know, all those little things that you think as a lonely YouTuber
that you can’t possibly help that person you absolutely can. They probably don’t have a massive team
dedicated to optimizing their YouTube channel. There are little winds that they’re
missing out on and sometimes it’s creating a little bit of content of
your own that references. There’s and highlights them and celebrates
them and then sharing it on social media and being like look
I’m advocating for you. I’m out there sharing
your video with people. That’s going to get their attention
that’s going to make them think. Oh this person would be very
valuable to have in my life. I mean, that’s how you build a network
you add value to other people’s lives. The problem that a lot of these questions
are in line with our how can I take this person’s time or how can I take this
person’s attention or how could I get this person and do something for me and we have
to flip that the mindset has to be what can I give this person
that will help them? And that foot-in-the-door creates all
these opportunities that you for the most part probably haven’t even realized were
there, you know something else that we were chatting about this morning in our
marketing meeting is that we had we have a Facebook group of all of our clients and
we had noticed that there is in the last few years. There is a mass there had been a bit
of an exodus and people are I’m sorry. There has been an exit and and people are
starting to see the cracks and some of the social media which means they’re going to
be moving to other platforms and there is plenty of All Tech going around. That’s all new. And all of these influencers are
going to be wanting to jump there. But if you already know it very well that
you have an opportunity then to control those platforms for them
or help them with them. Yeah, I mean you look at Tick-Tock right? It’s like hey, I storyboarded out some
Tick Tock videos that you could use to promote your YouTube video. What do you think of these ideas
right you pitch some ideas over. These are all if you’re creative and
you have time which is a very valuable resource, but you don’t have a network
which is the resource you’re trying to get then you’re going to have to trade
some of that time to grow the network. And that’s how it works and
I could tell you right now. We have a number of teammates. I’m looking at you Cam who they
demonstrated their value and then we said, hey welcome or the team. You know, we had a girl reach out to me
and say hey I noticed you guys aren’t really active on quora. So what if I took your podcast that have
all this great content and created some Cora answers for you. Well, of course, I’m like,
oh that’s a great thing. I never thought of that and what do you
know now she’s a part of the AOC team. So these are all moments
that are the side door. Where no one is banging no one is
coming around the side door asking for opportunities. Everyone instead is just flooding
them with I need this I need that. Can I get your time? I’m special. Here’s how I’m different
than everyone else. And unfortunately, that’s how
you get lost in the shuffle. This one’s from Nicoletta has
a question about pitching her. Hey, Jay, and Johnny, I’m about to start
an NGO that’s about educating people on a sustainable lifestyle in my
home country of Italy this year. I will travel to a few
conferences to network. My main concern is having
a great elevator pitch. What are some ways for me to
find out if my pitch is working. I’ve tested on my friends and family,
of course, they love it, but then maybe they’re not the best test audience any
idea on how I can perfect it before the first conference. Thanks, Nicoletta. I have some ideas here. What do you think of Brian? You got a big smile on I do because
I just I understood like Nicoletta. We’ve all been there we can relate. To what it’s like to have this baby
project this thing you care so much about and you think everybody’s going
to think your baby’s beautiful. But the reality is they don’t
care about your baby at all. Like they have no time
at all for your baby. And that is the hard reality. But knowing that will
give you some clarity. So the question I’d ask to you
Nicoletta is who cares about that. So who cares about Italians people in
Italy living a sustainable lifestyle who cares? It’s probably Italians who aren’t living
a sustainable lifestyle but have a pain point. So chase the pain right dig
into the pain that that. NGO is going to solve who already is doing
good work in that space that you can come alongside serve them. Well right link arms with them help them
get results and when you help people get results, they inevitably say. So what are you working on right now? Like sharing an Uber with somebody or
showing up at a conference and hang out with somebody eventually, they’ll
ask because they’re curious. What are you working on and that’s the
opportunity that you have to share. It’s not pitched but to
share what you’re working on. And to position it away that maybe they’ll
care about 100 percent agree understanding the pain is the most important thing
Everyone likes to focus on the benefits and focus on all the different bells and
whistles that make them unique and special but people are only motivated by
solving problems and pain in their life. And if you can’t tap into that
it’s going to be a tough sell. Of course, the internet is here with a
variety of tools to very easily test your ideas. You can create a Facebook landing page and
run Facebook ads to these decision makers and see if they click them and if they
click them, you know, hey, I’m onto something this language is working
or if they don’t click your ad. Well, I gotta change my pitch. I gotta change the way I’m warning things. I’m not hitting on the pain. And these are simple tasks you can spend
20 30 dollars on Facebook clicks are not that expensive for you
to get some real data. Also, I would say go to some meetup groups
go to some other Gatherings that are free. You don’t have to buy a ticket and start
talking about your idea with people and noting when you’re talking
and sharing it with him. What are they expressing? What are they latching onto? What are they asking follow-up
questions about are they following it? Is it easy for them to understand or
they asking me a bunch of questions? Well, maybe the pitch is not as clear, you
know, there are opportunities online and offline. You can create videos on YouTube. You can post them on Twitter. You could retweet some of these people
that might be at the conference before you get there to start testing the language
the wording and the problem that you’re looking to address to see if there’s
actual people showing interest online first, then go to the conference and
you’ll have a much better pitch and I think it’s fascinating that. You know, we’ve talked about the elevator
pitch a few times here on these podcast recently on networking but also in the
past and to be honest a lot of times these networking events are less about making a
decision on the spot and getting pitched to in fact, a lot of networking events
have strict rules around pitching no pitching because it’s about
fostering relationships. So going to these events and thinking
about all the decision-makers that you like to have on board maybe mentoring. Think about how you can add to their life
first as we said earlier you add some value to their life and then
they turn around and go. What is it that you’re
working through Nicoletta. What is it that you’re hoping to get? Oh, you’re starting an NGO and now they’re
going to be much more warm and receptive to that pitch than just cold walking up to
them after they get off stage and say hey, what do you think of this idea right
because as we know there are a plethora of ideas. It’s the execution. It’s showing that person that if I partner
with you, you’re going to follow through you’re going to be someone that’s worth
my time, which is incredibly valuable. So showing them that you’re willing to go
out of your way and shoot a video of them on stage create a little social media
asset that they can share after their. That you’re going to
add value to their life. Then when you do have an opportunity to
pitch them they’re going to know you’re going to follow through. It’s worth supporting you on this Mission. The last question we have
today is about relationships. I found that with my ex who I was with for
11 years until earlier this year that when we were out with other people at the
pub or other people’s houses Etc. I would struggle to interact with her. And thinking about it, maybe
subconsciously thought that whilst we were out with friends that I should chat to
them and that I would chat with her when I was back home. I’ve definitely noticed that when out with
other couples, they still interact with each other both serious pragmatic chats,
but also friendly banter and showing each other that they cared for one another. I was wondering whether the way I was is
common or not and whether you guys had any tips to help with this. Let’s see when it comes to relationships. How do you communicate with your spouse? Yeah, I we’ve been married 17 years now
and you know in my world we go to a lot of parties and networking events and
conferences and things like that. So I think even early on it’s just
a conversation before the event. You know, that’s where it starts. It’s just hey, you know like
so I was her name is Julie. So I’d say Hey Joe like this
thing like there’s a few people. I really want to meet sir. Are you cool if she’s
like, yeah totally cool. And that means like she’s going
to go kind of handle like. Meeting people herself and I’m going to
go off and I’m going to meet people and that’s totally fine. It’s like how can you set the expectation
ahead of time in the same way, you know, if we’re going to some
sort of a conference thing. That’s more like my thing I can say like,
hey, this is this is what I’d love to accomplish while I’m here. I’d love to meet a couple of these people,
but I really love you to introduce you to this one person or whatever it is. And then that way she knows like when she
looks at Cross it looks to me makes eye contact from across the room and I’m like. You know come on over here like
kind of like nodding at her. She knows that that means like come like
let’s let’s introduce ourselves to this particular person. So I think that’s the challenge. It’s how can you have the conversation
before the event so that you’re all you’re both on the same page, but
I got to tell you guys. You know 41 years old
married for 17 years. It’s awesome to be at an
event with your spouse. Like I would say it doesn’t sound like it
was a right relationship match because I are you kidding me. I can’t wait to show her off if you will
like to introduce her to people because I’m like. You think I’m pretty good? You should meet my wife. She is incredible because she always
has some wisdom or Insight or something interesting to bring to
the to the conversation. I really like that and the other thing is
well your spouse and you to your spouse you should be. Your biggest fans for each other and they
cannot hear you on if they don’t have any Clarity and what you’re working on and
I that’s obviously your message has been clearly for yourself. And for those who are
around you and I love that. I think a couple things I’d like to add
on here certainly agree that setting expectations before. Having a conversation in the car ride over
to the house party or to the pub of you know, what are you looking
forward to this evening? What are you excited about? I was thinking about running off and
talking all your friends and maybe hear from them. No, actually, I’d prefer, you
know, we spent some time together. I feel like I haven’t seen you all week. Right? So there’s the expectations then there’s
also the after the event the check-in right? How do you like that event? What do you think? What didn’t you like? And and share and be open and honest that
you can get that feedback because I feel like what he’s explaining here is a lack
of communication a lack of expectation setting and then a lack of a check-in
after of like, what was that a fun event for her because I felt like it was great. And if she didn’t feel like it was great. Well, then maybe you need to switch up
some of what you’re doing and some of your behaviors the last piece I want to talk
about and this is a topic we went in depth on on an earlier podcast
is the five love languages. And we all express love and affection
for others in different ways. And we have different expectations of how
we need to receive it as well and a lot of times what we’re talking about here is the
mismatch where you think you’re expressing love and your partner doesn’t feel
it as that expression of love. So being clear on your
partner’s love language. Is it quality time together? Well, then she’s probably going to expect
some quality of time even when you are out in a group. Is it words of affirmation? Is it letting her know? Wow, you did such a great job
pitching the business for me. That was so awesome or wow. I love the until that story. You really had the
whole party’s attention. That was fantastic. You know, those small things go a
long way towards smoothing over this miscommunication that
seems to be going on. And I will tell you that as we
said earlier everyone has different temperaments, you know, she just made me
really introverted and because of that she feels a little clingy in these situations
because she doesn’t always know what to say. She feels a little anxiety. Or she could be the opposite where she is
really independent and she doesn’t want you at her side. She wants to be able to have her own
conversations and talk to people and then come back to you. But if you’re not understanding and
communicating your temperament Your Love Languages what you need to feel fulfilled
then of course, we’re going to have these struggles in relationships. Now we love to give our
listeners a challenge each week. And one of the exercises in your
book is about saying thank you. We thought it’d be such a fitting exercise
for the final episode of our month on networking. Could you explain this
exercise to our listeners? Absolutely, you know saying thank you
just go such a long way and for years I struggled to write thank you notes. I think that’s like the premiere, you know
level the top tier of saying thank you whenever I move I just moved my
office around this last weekend. And as I was going through like these just
piles of paper that I had to, you know, get rid of or whatever the the ones
that I had the trouble throwing away. We’re thinking because I want to I want
to hang out right like they really really matter. So thank you notes. You could say things like,
you know, you did a great job. Thanks for helping me in a certain way. Maybe somebody answered your question
right into my thank-you note saying thanks for answering my question. They gave you an opportunity. Maybe the introduce you to somebody. So what I want you guys to do. Is to look back over the last couple
months just even look at your calendar or look at your social media and look at a
couple people that helped you out in some way and now turn. Back to them and say thank you. So there’s there’s like
two or three ways to do. That one is to write that handwritten. Thank you note. You can hit somebody up on Instagram or on
Facebook Messenger say, hey, can you send me your mailing address and most people
will send it because they know you’re going to mail them something cool. Right? And so then write a little personal
thank-you note for those of you that are really working your personal branding. You could even get some custom. Thank you notes printed. There’s a lot of places that will do
that that really kind of takes your. You know your art of charm to the next
level because you’ve got these these custom thank you notes and write them a
note and just say this specifically is what you did it really mattered. It really helped me in this way
and I just want to say thank you. So you could do that. Another way to do it is
to create a little video. And just send it through
Instagram or through Facebook. Hey guys, what I did right before right
before we launched the book is I knew that like book launch day was going to be so
busy, but I wanted to tell people on book launch day how grateful I was for them. So a week before the book came out when
I still had some space and some time available is I went on a
walk around this local park. I took out my phone and I
just recorded these 30-second. Thank you videos. I recorded 40 of them. And I sent it to my team with the
directive that on book launch Day message these to all these people that I’m saying. Thank you, too. And it mattered like I got messages from
people left and right saying thank you so much. I know you’re super busy and it just
really means a lot that you recognize and say thank you. So there are a couple ways to do it. What do you guys think? I really enjoyed. Absolutely, especially when people
are giving you words of advice they’re inspiring you they’re taking action
in ways that influence your life to be thankful to show that gratitude. Not only does it help grow your network,
but it also helps with your mental health. It puts you in a place of expressing
gratitude, which is much better than a place of expressing contempt
criticism and focusing on the. So that’s a great powerful
habits put together Bryant. Thank you so much for joining us. I really appreciated the answers you had
to these listener questions you added a lot to this episode and for our listeners
who are curious to find out more about you. Where can they find you? I know you have a
kick-ass podcast as well. Yeah, you know one of the best things that
you guys can do follow me on Instagram, it’s Brian Jay Dixon on
Instagram and send me a message. Let me know. What’s one thing that you heard in this
show today that impacted you or what’s one follow-up question. You have I love responding to DMS and I
think that’s the best way to continue the conversation, you know,
obviously you can get the book. The book is called start with your people. It’s available on Amazon audio listeners. We’ve got one on Audible, you
know, I recorded the audio. So that’s that’s super fun as well. But guys, I’m just so honored to be here. Thank you so much for having me. Thank you for coming on absolute
lots of great stuff here today. In fact, I there’s a few mental notes. I had taken just from listening to
just have her doing this podcast. So I’m really excited and very actionable. Yeah, which is what we really. Our audience can benefit. Thank you so much Brian, but I feel.


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