Men need meaning and responsibility | Modern Masculinity

Men need meaning and responsibility | Modern Masculinity


We need men talking to men. But there are no male figures talking to 18-,
19-, 20-year-olds saying: ‘Look, life is going to be brutal,
malevolence is waiting for you, evil is waiting for you,
hard times are waiting for you.’ And prepare them then, and tell them
the antidote to that is to find meaning now so when those times come,
you have an iron rod to hold on to. That will get you through that storm. I’m Iman Amrani,
and I’m a journalist at the Guardian and this is the second episode in our series
on modern masculinity. In the first episode,
I went to a Jordan Peterson event in Birmingham to ask people why was it that they were coming
to see him speak. When I was there,
I met this really interesting guy called Neil who owns a bunch of barber shops
in the north of England. I went to Leeds to continue
my conversation with him and we have listened to what
you said about the last video: the music is going to be a lot less intrusive. Neil, Neil? Hey there, are you alright? Yeah, you’re good? I am good. How are you? Yeah. good, thank you. I’ve got a team of two. Hi man, how are you doing? Neil’s barber shop is called
King Koby, named after his son. All the staff that worked there are
super interesting, very friendly and I wanted to get their perspectives
on modern masculinity. The size of your arse? It’s big, isn’t it? I swear I haven’t got arse that big. I don’t even squat. I am not going to be able to stop looking
at it now. I have chats with people
whose hair I’ve cut that I wouldn’t have with my mates. I can open up a lot more to people
who I don’t know that well. More than I can with my mates
that’s the beauty of a barber shop. Why do you thing that is? The person whose hair you cut,
you don’t know as well as your mates and you don’t really feel that judged whereas your mates,
they know a little bit more about you, and know who you are. One of the recurring themes in our call-out
to readers, was men telling us that often
they find it difficult to find spaces where they can communicate
and express themselves openly and honestly. Seems like barber shops might be
one of those spaces. The most rewarding part of my job
is when you find that you can tap into something that someone has never spoken about before. Like guys who are going through breakups
or they’re abusing drugs or something like that and they know they’re doing something wrong,
but they don’t know how to fix it. Loads of guys who come in
don’t know how to deal with heartbreak
or even how to sort of level up and be a better partner
for their misses or fellas. You were going to say, be a better man,
weren’t you? Stop yourself. It’s meaning that sustains people,
it’s meaning and responsibility. That means when you do lose your job,
don’t get me wrong, it’s catastrophic, it’s awful but it’s meaning and purpose
that gets you through that and keeps pushing you in it. The less you attach your life
to external things, the more you’ve got to go internal and the internal things are what give you
meaning, definitely. The connection to your children, to your partner, to the greater good is what gives you meaning. What do you feel like your meaning is?
Do you know what you think your meaning is? I think … I am definitely on a learning
curve, had a sort of bad relationships with women because of the way I thought I should act
in a relationship. And how was that? Being disloyal was a big one, You felt like you should be disloyal? No … I feel like, no one would
ever call me out for being disloyal. I feel like if you could go out
with a group of friends that were all pulling
a fast one on their birds they’d be like,
‘I managed to do this last week’ and no one was going,
‘oh, you’re really wrong.’ Wanting to brag about it
because it feeds the ego, and that’s what we are all doing
as young men, we’re just feeding the ego. And so, I actually stopped and cut away
all the bullshit, like trying to pull girls
and spending money on clothes and whatnot and just came in
and found like a good group of people that really genuinely cared about me that would be honest with you
and say, ‘what you’re doing is wrong’ like, ‘this is the path you should be walking.’ It wasn’t in a religious aspect,
it was, let’s treat everyone how you want to be treated. And I don’t think that behaviour
is encouraged enough, really. When was the last time, genuinely you met someone that you impressed by, went that’s someone who knows who they are,
that’s someone who got their shit together. That’s someone who’s the same person
whether they’re in front of their parents, or their friends and they know how to say no to certain things. You don’t meet those guys because individualism
isn’t encouraged, supported or taught, and what we really, really need,
is we need to teach men to take responsibility for themselves first and then they can play an active
and important role in the collective. So this idea of identity
and individualism for men is really interesting especially when you think about the economics
of growing up. It’s harder than ever to fit in
that traditional mould of leaving home at 18, getting a mortgage, getting married
and starting a family. And lots of people aren’t even sure if that’s
what they want anymore. I have people in my chair
who would probably associate, probably be defined as lads. I am talking to them for half an hour
in the chair and they’re not lads, they’re just a little bit lost,
they don’t really know themselves, they want to fit in,
they want to be normal. What would you describe as being a lad? A lad is overcompensating,
that’s all a lad is. So, bravado … Yeah. Overcompensating. And the moment I hear that or
see that from some point, it’s just like …
it’s just seeing past that. Now I know that equals that.
Do you know what I mean? Yeah. I meet a lot of men who as soon
as they are around any other men, they start speaking completely differently
and like, watching you today, you’ve just being the same person,
in the barber shop, you’ve exactly been the same,
no matter who’s been on your seat, and everything. And it kind of gives the impression
of a sense of like, I guess, peace with yourself. Yeah, 100%,
and I think the exact opposite would be, be like this with this group,
and this with this group, and see, lost sense of self. While not everyone in the barber shop
was as much of a fan of Peterson as Neil was, there were recurring themes that kept making me
think about Peterson’s book. It feels like Petterson has claimed ownership
of this idea of responsibility which seems like an universal one
but he packages it in a way that makes it very accessible for men
who are looking for solutions. Men need men to teach them
how to be men. So the crisis of masculinity,
if we are accepting that there is one, and that’s debatable
but I believe there is one, regardless of whether you link that back
to the rise of feminism, or to the lack of competition in schools,
whatever you want to link that back to, it’s not deep enough. We don’t teach our young children,
our young people rather, at all to look for meaning in their life
or even what meaning is, that is a conversation to being had
and to adopt responsibility. I think that are somethings that are just
uniquely masculine. Women, generally speaking,
want a man who’s got his shit together, they want a man who takes
responsibility for himself, they want a man who can say no
when it’s appropriate to say no. They want a man that can be gentle,
when it’s appropriate to be gentle. They want a man that can be strong
and aggressive even, when it’s appropriate to strong and aggressive. And there are so many traits that are uniquely,
not uniquely, women have these traits too, but men need that we just not teaching,
our young men at all, in any way. What I find really interesting is that all
these things that you’ve listed, I feel like women have been saying
that for a while, and Peterson came along and said, ‘Make your bed in the morning.’ And I’ve had so many guys, they see me reading the book on the tube or whatever, they come over and they said,
Jordan Peterson, make your bed in the morning, it really changed my life, and I’m like,
didn’t your mum tell you to do that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I am like,
what is it about Jordan Peterson saying that, that is so different
and actually gets more of an effect than that being said for time by teachers,
your mum … Your mum telling you to tidy your room
is in case the neighbours come up for tea and she wants to show the house off, Jordan Peterson telling you to tidy your
room, he goes and adds context to that. If you can’t govern your immediate surroundings, don’t expect to be able
to govern anything else in your life. It’s naivety. We have so many men that do not have the most basic elements of their life in order, including me for a long time. And now we live in a culture,
that we want to go from step one to step six and miss out steps one to five. You know? So, your mum telling you to tidy your room
or teaching doing it, doesn’t have the same emphasis
as a man saying, no, you do this, because it leads
to everything else you’re looking for in your life. What kind of decisions have you made
differently in the past 10 years? Which you think have helped you to have this
sense of security that you seem you have. Yeah. I don’t know if it’s any like, specific decisions that made my life at a crossroads go
in one direction or the other, but it was just a decision
that never, ever, ever, ever, ever again, will I use any part of my past
or any part of anything that’s occurred to me, as an excuse for not being the man
that I know full well I should be. And I think having a commitment
to the truth as well is one of the biggest things that’s changed in my life since then. You have mentioned the truth a lot,
I can even see the tattoo over your eyebrow. When I am talking about the truth,
and I don’t mean, don’t tell lies, that’s a level one basic thing that you teach
your children. When I am talking about truth,
I’m talking about really getting to the bottom of who you are as a person
and who we are. Find what’s true about you. And often times you’ll find,
as I found, the more that I look into myself,
what was true about me was overwhelmingly hideous. I met a girl, called Helen,
who ended up being a real catalyst in my life. We were together for two years,
and then that ended. How was she a catalyst in your life? She was the first person
that told me I was full of shit, which I needed. I had this belief system here
that I genuinely believed in, the way which you should live
and integrity, and courage and all of those things, and then on the other side of that,
I had the way that I actually behaved, which didn’t represent
that belief system in any way. And I’d managed to circumvent
that by being relatively popular, having lots of friends, being articulate, and those things hid a multitude of sins. So I’ve done all these things
to completely hide the fact that deep down, I was completely lost and I had no fucking clue
who I was or what I was doing, had this belief system and this way of living
that I desperately wanted to achieve, but my own weakness
wasn’t allowing me to achieve it. And at the end of my relationship with Helen,
she said, ‘You’re not the man you think you are.
You could be, but you’re not.’ ‘You’re full of shit.’ ‘You need to go away and change it.’ It proper, it really hurt and I was really resistant
to it for like a day or two and then I started transcending myself and went inside
and said, she’s right, she’s absolutely right. She’s absolutely right. She was the catalyst for me
beginning this sort of last 10-year journey that I’ve been on. I’ve just been trying to sort myself out
and get my act together and find meaning and find responsibility, find a way to actually
start living the things I claim. Interesting though,
it was a woman. Yeah, yeah,
very interesting. Did you cheat on her? Yeah. Yeah, I did. I mean, I haven’t seen Helen for 15 years
but even now, I’ve nothing but respect for her. Because if it wasn’t for her and that conversation
in her apartment in 2006, whenever it was, I would probably be
in a very different place to where I’m now. I really appreciated the conversations
I had with Neil and the other guys in the barber shop, I felt like they were honest, candid
and very respectful and I think that’s a big part of what I’m
trying to get out with this series. Dialogue is so important,
be that between man in barber shops, or between a man and a woman
across the table, it’s only through speaking to each other
and really listening that we are going to come up with
solutions to the big questions about things like modern masculinity in 2019. One of the recurring themes
that you’ve asked us to look at, is that of role models for men
and we will be addressing that later on in the series. But our next episode will focus on
a few familiar faces. There’s always a stigma around men
can’t be vulnerable and men can’t have emotions or men can’t cry. When I see my friends,
especially when they are approaching women and they turn on this certain amount of bravado, it’s like,
that isn’t you. When we are talking about
role models with kids, we have to be careful that in 40 years time you are not telling them,
‘nah, that’s wrong now.’ Like, comment and subscribe to stay up to date with everything we are doing in the series of modern masculinity. When I think of masculine,
I think of power but if you mean man,
because I am powerful as a man in my way …

Author:

100 thoughts on “Men need meaning and responsibility | Modern Masculinity”

  • The Guardian says:

    This is episode two in the series, we're publishing a new episode every two weeks. If you missed episode one, watch it here ► https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rYnO2wuIiBg&list=PLa_1MA_DEorHnYu0HjO2pTwtulpJu2YAW&index=1

    If you'd like to see more from Neil, we've got the full interview with him available here ► https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PWw8E-RAum0

    Hope you enjoy. Remember to subscribe!

  • There is this recurring rhetoric about weakness and strength in masculinity, the tragedy of suicide appears to be a growing thing amongst young men today. I worry desperately for my male friends and am devastated by the pain they seem to endure when it comes to processing their emotions in an acceptable manner.

  • David Shapiro says:

    All I gotta say is, as a young, moderate man, it's about time someone that represented the mainstream took and honest and fair look at the struggle of men. I regret not having multiple likes to give.

  • My mother telling me to clean my room, make up my bed, polish my shoes, do saturday morning chores, wash and iron school uniforms in high school was about responsibility, self pride and work ethics.

  • When a mother says "Clean your room" or "Make your bed", a boy hears his mother not wanting to do it for him. But when a father says this, the son hears, "This is what men who have self-respect do." My dad made his bed, cooked and cleaned, took out the garbage, mowed the lawn. But I didn't see him do those things at home as my mother did them for him so he could spend his time on more fruitful work. But when on the road with him, I saw his self-respect.

    Duty is a debt you owe to yourself, to fulfill obligations you have assumed voluntarily. Paying that debt can entail anything from years of patient work to instant willingness to die. The reward is self-respect. There is no reward at all for doing what other people expect of you, and to do so is not merely difficult, but impossible. It is easier to deal with a footpad than it is with the leech who wants “just a few minutes of your time, please—this won’t take long.” Time is your total capital. Learn to say NO, and be rude if necessary!–Robert Heinlein

    What I think is amazing is that men have never lost sight of what masculinity is, though some have lost their way, usually because they lacked the presence of their father and his role-modeling. Women on the other hand are constantly chittering about what it means to be a woman, and have been gullible enough to believe the Feminist mantra of emulating men. What I find more distressing than the lack of male role-modeling is the lack of familiarity of children with their grandparents. Young women would rather go to strange women for relationship counseling, than talking with their mothers and grandmothers, etc.

  • Jason Ludwig says:

    All single, rootless, seemingly childless, cosmopolitan hipsters with face tats telling you things like, "Get your shit together, find yourself by cleaning your room, and stop cheating on your current girlfriend."
    You really tapped the right demographic there, Guardian. Btw, individualism IS the problem for masculinity. Not wanting to "go the traditional route" IS the fucking problem for masculinity.
    Men, find a good wife, get a decent job, and have lots of children. The rest will follow!
    And, for Christ's sake, stop watching this garbage for enlightenment.

  • 12 Rules for life, an antidote to chaos. By Jordan B Peterson. Is a fine book that addresses all these kinds of issues. Unfortunately his ideas have been misrepresented and smeared in the media so much his positive message may be missed by the people who need it most.

  • Charalampos Koundourakis says:

    Interesting video but I find the implication that this is the only form of masculinity extremely misleading.

    Men are as varied in their needs and function as women and sure there people who go to a barbershop to have a connection but that is far far from an end all.

    I'm sure the show didn't mean to imply that what they show is exclusive but the language and titling sure makes it sound that way.

  • The crisis of masculinity has been brought about by women rising in society. And we should stop pretending that we dont know that. The journalist has not understood what Jordan Peterson is saying: @7:31 A woman telling a man to make his bed is precisely what you DO NOT want, because you then fall into the 'OEDIPAL complex' where you have a woman oppressing a man and telling him what to do, which is the source of all the problems in the first place. A man has to decide for himself that he is going to 'make his bed'. (make the bed is not necessarily literal, it is also a metaphor for all other responsibilities).

  • While this is far superior to the regular shit they put out, the guy they picked for this episode and stuff like that and the fact that this isn't just feminist propaganda is good. However I think many people here are jumping straight to "guardian is redeemed, give us more of this now". We should slow down and be careful not to let this cloud our opinion. Mainstream media is still full of shit, this doesn't redeem it.

  • 1950Archangel says:

    GEEZ! Tell this bird to go read "Jordanetics"! She'll see a LOT of what these folks need to see. Get the OTHER side too!

  • valerie Nightshade says:

    That barber shop is truly amazing. But, this woman is sort of underselling JP.! The man is a genius, and a very good teacher, because that is what he is. So, maybe it is just a device for her to sound so doubtful about Peterson, because he deserves more respect. WE need real men.

  • 4:15 – 4:30 says it all. Encourage eccentricity! I despair for the young. Feminazism has destroyed the family and the result is MIGTOW,(Men Intelligently Going Their Own Way),and women and children lose. Until Women start changing their behavior the decline in everything will continue.

  • Umm, interesting, all these words of wisdom coming from some of the most stylised men I've ever seen. It doesn't gel with me boys.

  • Unbiased journalism from the guardian???!! What the hell am I dreaming? Well done Iman you're an inspiration, loving the series and look forward to you discussing more topics

  • Jordan Peterson says it: hate speech.

    Calm, attractive tatooed gent says it: wow this is really interesting and might help men.

  • Daniel Lassander says:

    This journalist should get promoted, she is very very good at this. Its honest and not ideological, its inquiry driven and not narrative driven. I am impressed by this level of journalism today!

  • Symbioticism says:

    Neil's ideas about what a man needs to be like don't align with mine. He seems like an odd bloke: keeps wondering about a loss of meaning (and covertly inferring it is people he doesn't like that are to blame). Surely we are over bombarded with meaning? Sounds like he has some personal hangups he needs to deal with. Him and other Petersen enthusiasts don't represent my masculinity or that of people I know. It all sounds so regressive.

  • What a fucking excellent series. And what a great selection of different men, being interviewed by a confident, top-notch journalist committed to her craft. I can't wait to follow the next episode.

  • This is why alpha men are important; not only do they teach the rest of the beta heard how to be a man, they also show the dominant feminist why they are wrong. Change my mind:

  • Fantastic report Imam! It's rare to find media reporting that is genuinely interested in understanding humanity like this.

  • cinilaknedalm says:

    "Malevolence and evil are waiting for you" wtf kind of a bullshit is this? "You need to find meaning" ?? How about learning a skill? A trade? Getting a decent job where you can't be replaced because you made yourself special with knowledge and how good you are at communicating with others? How about never stop learning and developing yourself?
    "Malevolence and evil" wtf hahaha, should they buy a sword and a suit of armour?

    By the way, when I say a skill, I don't mean hairdressing – I mean engineering, science, medicine. Something where you get paid for brain power.

  • 12:15 obviously this guy has never approached a woman in his life . You have to fake it to make it man. There is no other way.
    You can be real too…it also works . Just takes a lot of trial and error to feel comfortable.

  • Mahtan Amandil says:

    Respopnsability comes with Authority, but talk about giving authority back to men and see everyone lose their mind.

  • Natasha Gonzales says:

    I thought this was great. The discussion, all the words spoken. Everyone was serious about the topic.
    It was disappointing to have to prompt him at the end to see that he learnt from a woman because…i don't think it was needed or mature, and he already knew that anyway. I just think in future it would be more respectful to the journey.

    Tough cookie to chew maybe but, i don't mean to demerit this video at all. You have done a great thing putting this together and headlining this topic in men's lives. I think if you could know just how much impact the videos (1&2) have you would be overwhelmed with joy because it isn't discussed and it is so needed. So thank you sister <3

  • what have men done wrong in the first place ?? why does the guardian ASSUME men need FIXING? (actually all of society ?)
    why are women never held to any standard like men are ?? why don't they need improving as well ?
    as well why do men not have a purpose for themselves not only to be "good enough" for women, a worthwhile purpose that helps everyone ?

  • Kobe Leonard says:

    I can't… can't believe what I'm taking in.

    Is this really the guardian? First journalist out of this cesspool of a news agency I actually want to listen and respect.

    Small sample size but safe to assume

  • Skander Belli says:

    ''The less you attach your life to external things, the more you've got to go internal and the internal things are what give you meaning, definitely."

  • Masculinity in the UK? Is that a joke? You all have already lost your country to immigrants lol. Should change Britain name to Britainistan. Those Dangerous spoons and kitchen ware over there hahaha

  • Wow, western media talking about masculinity in 2019 without call you a rapist, misoginist and murder, i'm so shook. Nice video by the way 👍

  • The word is appropiation. You act accordingly depending on the situation. I don't talk to my boss the same way I talk to my girlfriend………if I did I wouldn't have a job and I have a very good job

  • Rueben Holland says:

    On today's episode, we go to a hipster barber shop in a hipster city to get their views on masculinity. Hmm. Speaking as someone who used to work in this city, it may have been a better idea to go to a less thriving town with little to no employment prospects or industry to talk about men having a lack of meaning.

  • dakota conners says:

    go back to being a traditional male. problem solved. no need for this BS only common sense. some of these men being interviewed is typical of how the Feminist feel a man should be. I don't need to ask how to be a man for I come from a generation that knew what being a man was. today That's why I am more into the MGTOW way of thinking and tired being told how to be a man by liberal women and Beta Males. you can see this in the video (with a women) geared to trying to make men adjust to their subservient way of thinking

  • "…Interesting that it was a women.." Ahhh the vague whiff of feminism vitriol. Someone he respected called him out on his bullshit, – he had been acting dishonestly and inconsistently and when presented with this, it hurt him as he had been hurting others and forced him to genuinely look at himself. To change his behaviour and reflect on his core values, and the difference between his words and his actions…. And what was interesting about that statment was 'she was a women?' No that wasn't't the interesting bit at all. What genitalia Helen had was irrelevant. It was her message that was interesting and challenging. "What was interesting about Einstien's theory of relativity …was that he was a man." I am really enjoying this series and the attempt by this excellent reporter to move the Guardian away from perl clutching and judgment, I normally avoid the G with an eye roll and a head shake, but she seems genuinely interested and interesting just hoping Iman Amrani can resist the 'logical feminist conclusion' that; men just need to be more like the perfection that is woman and all will be well.

  • Dragonaut111 says:

    You know what I hate the guardian but this is actually genuine good honest work, masculinity is so socially attacked these days (unfortunately by the likes of guardian writers) that we can’t even talk about it, it’s like masculinity in any form = bad, and all that’s going to do is create generations of men that can’t function as men. I would like to see more honest journalism like this from the Guardian.

  • Michael Rafferty says:

    This is what the guardian and other papers should be doing. Having a real conversation with people and finding out the real issues are will make papers relevant as just now they are propaganda pieces.
    I'm glad she is listening as she is getting reality and the vast majority of what Peterson says is true. I actually agree with the guardian that Peterson concentrates too much on attacking the left and should give more time to corporate abuses.
    Also he doesn't offer enough solutions which shows how tricky the solutions are.
    As Peterson points out men are feeling sidelined yet women want strong men and kids need a few figurerehead who anchors them in the world. The studies of boys without father's is frightening and unless people,especially the strident feminists,listen to real data then we are creating huge problems for future generations. I look forward to more relevant and important podcasts. Cathy Newman owes everybody after that interview and if she can't see the error of her views the games up.

  • Did the guardian seriously produce this? What a pleasant surprise. None of the usual grauniad nomenclature; mansplaining, white privilege, toxic masculinity cultural appropriation etc

  • A piece of actual journalism that doesnt automatically villify men? Im fricking shocked lol, but keep up the good work iman

  • Jesse Cruz Salas says:

    Modern Masculinity isn't a crisis. We looking at masculinity as a problem but we forget that the problem is that most men don't have their shit together. I'm hearing this barber guy talking about him not being loyal and him blaming that the thought "that's what men were supposed to do". Yet I haven't heard him taking responsibility for his own actions. If there is a problem with men we need to look deeper. Is it the individual or society? Overall,  we need to look at men as well as women because our behavior reflexes our society.

  • Laker Madness says:

    Hell, I am 56 and have had long hair and tattoos since 1979 and will not conform to politically correct bullshyt. I'm a wolf not a sheep…

  • Clotilde Barberon says:

    I know this is about masculinity, but I think the point of responsibility, meaning and respect is important for every individual, regardless of gender or gender-fluidity. It's about learning to be a good human to oneself and other people. They all make good, wise points, good people .

  • stephen noonan says:

    I’ve never heard of ‘a bunch of barber’s shops’.

    But I do know a (right) bunch of hairdressers
    when I see one.

  • This is by the Guardian! Shocked, really good please give this journalist to editor in chief she will stop the paper going under!

  • serpentineeyelash says:

    Although I'm encouraged to see you seeking dialogue with alternative perspectives on gender politics, Peterson and the men you've interviewed are not a true alternative. They place all the obligation on men to change themselves, to "take responsibility" and "be a better partner", which is the same as the feminist position.

    In particular, you seem to have an obsession with men who cheat on their girlfriends, yet I bet you mock men who worry about being "cucked" by their girlfriends. You can't have it both ways – what is good for the goose is good for the gander.

    What I'd like to see change is society's attitudes towards men, particularly women's attitudes towards men. Society must stop viewing men as more powerful, more malicious, and less vulnerable than women. Here are some other male issues you could look into: https://www.reddit.com/r/rbomi/wiki/main

    If you want to hear a truly alternative perspective on gender issues, you should talk to a men's rights advocate. This blogger would be a good place to start: http://empathygap.uk/

  • Traditional masculinity is dying. I don't want modern men, they are either gay or sissies…. very rarely do I meet a traditional man who doesn't treat me like some feminist who wants equality…. sorry, but I don't wanna be treated like a man, I wanna be treated like a lady.

  • Random Scottish Guy says:

    Oh look, a series that is proving popular because it hasn't been saturated with left-wing bias right from the get-go. Well done

  • Personally I chose Spiritual and Intellectual pursuits instead of chasing women and building a family which here you only have a 60% chance of success. Mankind is outdated. Buddhism describes how to escape from this miserable material existence. That is our future and purpose.

  • Chris Krik Young says:

    Good stuff this! Well done! I don't agree with lots of these guys in the barber shop though 🙂 – I think that changing slightly for different groups isn't so bad, as long as it's still coming from a genuine place, it's not OVER-compensating, sometimes it's just politeness and judging your audience as it were, another rare skill in men.

  • Brian Williams says:

    well you got my respect with this video. I am a Conservative, I only bring this up to show how wide-reaching such a great video can be. If you stay centrist and show all sides, the side effect is all sides will watch!

  • Gia Zveriachvili says:

    This is extremely unsettling, I understand that JP's intention is not to fabricate zombies, but this is what he does to some men.

  • In order for men to find meaning, all they need is athleisure, barre, and sweetgreen chopped salad. Apparently, that’s how “today’s” “woman” is finding meaning.

  • Neil is incredibly articulate and you can tell he has thought a lot about these principles. I really liked hearing him speak and am glad so many people that follow Jordan think the same way.

  • I really appreciate your professional and honest approach! Very refreshing in times of media always try to make different groups (e.g. men) look like the enemy. This is exactly what we need: honest discussion with each other and trying to understand each other instead of insulting and screaming at each other…. So thank you very much!

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