Meet the Woman Behind the Men in Media List | NYT

Meet the Woman Behind the Men in Media List | NYT

This was something that was
online for less than 24 hours, and it has dominated my
life for three months. “There’s this online
spreadsheet of men in media.” “What they’re accused of
doing, who they work for.” “It’s unverified, anonymous …” “It does raise
these questions …” “Smearing someone …” I actively tried to avoid
this. I’m a very private person. “How do they get their reputation back?” I did not want this kind
of attention to be on me. I did not want to be a
person who was sitting down with The New York Times. “Are you a little nervous right now?” Yeah! I created a Google
spreadsheet called “Shitty Media Men” that could be
shared and anonymously edited. The idea was that
women could use it to name somebody
who had behaved badly towards them, whether through
sexual assault, or rape, or harassment. I shared it with
some women colleagues and friends in my industry
whom I knew had stories. And then from
there, they sent it to people they knew had
stories, and they sent it to people they knew had stories. And by the time I was
forced to take it down, which is about 12 hours
after I created it, there were more
than 70 men named, and 14 had their
names highlighted in red to denote that there
were more than one woman who were accusing that
particular person of violent physical
assault. Some of the incidents that were described
there gave me nightmares. Some of them were
really very violent. When I was watching
the spreadsheet fill up, it became clear to
me that a problem I had already understood as
widespread was, in fact, much, much broader. I didn’t really know what to do. I was overwhelmed. I was terrified. “What was your biggest fear
about your name becoming known?” There is a long history
of violence against women, and it’s particularly acute
for women who speak out against misogyny and sexism. There are things like, I used
to, like a lot of New Yorkers, just walk around with
headphones in all the time. And I can’t do that
anymore because I have to be more aware
of my surroundings and who might see me
or be following me. If you are accepting this
as just the way things are, then you’re sort of
accepting that you’re going to be treated
badly, and your colleagues are going to be treated badly. And, you know, women
you’ve never met are going to be treated badly. And I didn’t want to
accept that anymore. So I decided to
make a first attempt at trying something else. Listen, I made the decision
to create this spreadsheet, so its flaws are my fault.
But there was this obstacle because the conventional
reporting avenues for women who have experienced sexual
harassment, or assault, or rape are really not good ones. The document that I made
was designed to be private, but it very quickly went viral. I want to emphasize,
though, that I don’t even know who saw it, or who
had it, added to it. Those women are
anonymous to me as well. But at the same
time, I could see that what was going on on
this spreadsheet was also this act of real solidarity
and community among the women who work in this industry
to attempt to keep one another safe. So much
of the conversation after the spreadsheet
was made public was about the methodology
of the spreadsheet and sort of the tactics
that anonymous women were using to try and
keep each other safe. People were more worried
about a hypothetical man whose reputation might be
damaged than real women who were really raped. “It’s not a
hypothetical man, right? There were men who were
named on this who had to suffer repercussions
in their real life.” Some companies decided to
conduct investigations. Not all, but some
of them did result in men leaving
their jobs or being fired because they were found
to have committed wrongdoing. I think it’s their
responsibility that they acted that way. Harassment, assault, rape. These things don’t
happen like the weather. You know, they don’t
happen by accident. They happen because people
make a choice to do that to someone else. There are a lot of conversations
to be had about sex. We’re not done
talking about sex. “Hey hey, ho ho,
sexual violence has got to go.” There’s #MeToo in
2017, 2018. In 2014, there was
#YesAllWomen. And in 1991, there
was “I believe Anita.” “I thought he respected
my work and that he trusted my judgment.” So it can feel like
we’ve been defeated, right? Because if anybody
had listened to us the first time we wouldn’t
have to say it again. But I think that every
time we get a little louder, and we get a little closer
to making the changes that actually need to be made. What I think is next is a
lot of hard work for us all.


35 thoughts on “Meet the Woman Behind the Men in Media List | NYT”

  • I absolutely love the thumbnail! This IS the face of feminism!!! Droopy, sad, angry, unhappy, nagging, downer…
    Ugghhh…. 😝

  • Time to make Changes says:

    The NY slimes is doing this, In the US you are supposed to have the right to face your accuser of course that doesn't count if you can make a little money. The option is not good because we should be able to say you're guilty and be believed.

  • Just because you anonymously try to smear dozens of men with career-destroying gossip based on no investigation or evidence, that doesn't mean you're not a NYT hero.

  • In Afghanistan, when villagers are asked where the enemy is – many people name other villagers they have a feud with. The result is US air strikes the other villagers house.

    Humans use situations to their personal advantage.

    Notice this comment is not gender specific.

  • Simiral Entertainment says:

    People from some sexual groups do not in the least condemn sexual harassment – for them this is a common thing. .. Some like it hot …

  • The concern is this: people can make accusations (some might be embellished or even false) and irrevocably damage a persons reputation, without there being a fair trial. Further, since it's anonymous, the person whose reputation is being damaged cannot sue for damages (and therefore cannot clear their name) and the person making the accusations doesn't have to face any accountability. Even if one innocent person's life is ruined by false accusations I would claim the spreadsheet is a failure. Popular justice – mob justice – isn't liberal justice, and liberal justice (a fair trial, the presumption of innocence, the right to defend yourself in court, etc., etc.) is one of the pillars of the US. Her spreadsheet undermines that conception of justice.

  • So it's a list based on stories and hearsay… I wonder how many guys names were on this 'list' simply because they dumped a girl or other things to that affect.

  • These idiots don't know or want to admit that those kind of things give people who do have evil intent a powerful tool to publicly shame other person.Women are not perfect and often times men are victim of sexual abuse too.when we will shift the conversation from women being victim to both men and women being victim.

  • I understand the women's problem in this world, but this is just pure witch hunt. Think of all the false report. Think of the innocent lives that could have been ruined just because someone simply disliked them. Remember Hugh Mungus? SEXUAL HARRASHMENT!!!!

  • Not like women are inherently jealous and likely to name the last guy who dumped them or anything… Can't see how this could go wrong…

  • @4:00 you're just being sexist and chaotic.
    Very toxic.
    Those innocent men…… their lives are ruined.

    You're not helping. You're just another human making life harder for other humans. You even tried to justify your actions by putting a guilt trap in there when you know you're in the wrong.
    If that makes you feel " empowered " then that says alot about where this race is headed.

    I forgive you, Sister.

  • This woman has obvious anxiety issues, I don't know if she can be relied on as a reporter. Due to her social anxiety her perspective of what is acceptable may be skewed. At least that's the counter argument I would go with if I were someone on the right looking to discredit her…you can have that one for free.

  • There are so many comments here, that accuse the women, who suufered and wanted to warn other women, of damaging a man's reputation. It's so sad, that a man's reputation is more important than the safety of a woman. Of course there is also sexual violence against men. But still, women suffer it daily, and it is not taken seriously, because of people that try to normalize it. Dear commentators, please take the victims seriously. I think if someone would harass your mother, your sister, your girlfriend or wife, you would certainly react different.

  • A woman wouldnt accuse an innocent man of a serious crime. Sexual harrassment/assault is too heavy a thing for us to just fling around carelessly. Unfortunately its too difficult for most men to imagine what sexual assault or harrassement feels like ergo all the comments like "this is revenge on ex boyfriends".

  • I know a man that has been harassed in his life and accused of many unsupported things on social media and know that all that was posted were lies. The metoo BS makes all women that post these things look small in many ways. If you name a name and refuse to give yours your small. There is an instant where you feel good but the person you name is in the public eye and may not be guilty of what one says they are based on perception and it's totally inappropriate to assume that they take it up the butt and won't act. I hope the guy wins and gets his pound of flesh. Do the Abraham Lincoln thing, write and letter and then burn it and move on. She probably took it down once someone told her of the legal consequinces of putting it up, ERROR, ERROR WILL ROBINSON.

  • Not a single hint of accepting that these things could encourage lies and exaggeration from women who simply want to ruin men they hate.
    This is a simply an anti-male movement. It's not an equality movement.

  • The American people will never knowingly adoddpt Socialism.  But, under the name of 'Liberalism', they will adopt every fragment of the Socialist program until one day America will be a Socialist nation, without knowing how it happened."
    He  (head of the communist group in America ) went on to say: "We no longer need to run a Presidential Candidate for the Socialist Party.  The Democrat Party has adopted our platform." Communism

  • Moira is an imbecile. Today she put out an article on Supreme Justice Kavanaugh where she is convicting him of being a sexual molester without any proof after the FBI has performed multiple backgrounds checks on Kavanaugh and she started this after Kavanaugh's accusers lawyer publicly started us was Ford's motive and intent was to tarnish Kavanaugh again after all this after the friend Ford claimed was a witness said she doesn't really anything like Ford started happened ever 🤯 Just a discusting liberal trying to ruin people that are in her way like a vindictive little gold digger that was exposed and sent packing. She is a list about Kavanaugh and therefore I can never believe anything she says, journalism 101 😠

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