MCU Newscaster Reads Marvel Headlines!

MCU Newscaster Reads Marvel Headlines!


I watch NY1 news in
the morning every day, my wife and I. And
one of the segments is In The Papers at 41 minutes– PAT KIERNAN: Past the hour. Yeah, every morning. And so you read– you pick highlights
from the newspapers, all kinds of different papers,
and you read some of them. And there’s nothing more fun
than to have the full range of New York newspapers, from
“The Wall Street Journal” and “New York Times,”
right through to the gossip in “The New York Post.”
– Yeah. Yeah. And you pick and
choose what you want, you give some commentary,
some color, some context. So we actually dug into
some Marvel comics archives, picked some headlines
and some old clips. I wanted to share them with you. If we could have a little
Marvel in the Papers segment? – OK.
– All right? – OK.
– Are you ready? – Yeah, sure.
– You got– I got ’em. OK. Next up. Here’s a look at what’s in
the papers on this Monday, July 1st. It’s Canada Day, incidentally. In “The Daily Bugle,” “Goliath
returns to the Avengers.” The sub-headline says
“Famed Super Team Trapped Outside City During Crisis.” Ooh! I got chills. I got chills. So good. Also from “The Daily
Bugle” this morning– this is a 1972 “Daily
Bugle” headline– “Dr. Octopus Captured,
Master Criminal Discovered in Westchester Hideaway. Spider-Man Flees Scene.” It’s a story from the small
Hudson town of Ossining. Police reporting to a report
of noise and property damage. So we were talking
about this earlier. If Doc Ock wants to
get up to Ossining, someone’s like– wouldn’t
he be kind of conspicuous if he’s walking? Although I’m like, there’s
no way he’s walking all the way up to Ossining. He’s going to get in a van. But that travel–
like I’m curious like how they report on this,
and how they get to the– There’s like a 402 from
Grand Central on Metro North. Boom. You grab that train.
– There we go. The arms are in the bag,
like [VIBRATING NOISE].. [CHUCKLING] That’s the noise
they make, right? Yep, that’s exactly it. – Yeah?
– Yep. OK. [GIGGLING] Here’s another
of our headlines on this Monday afternoon. It’s an editorial– a front
page editorial– from J. Jonah Jameson in “The Daily Bugle.” “Publisher calls Galactus Hoax.” ANGELIQUE ROCHE: Oh, wow!
RYAN PENAGOS: Ooh! ANGELIQUE ROCHE: Wow. So Galactus– the world
devourer comes to Earth. Yeah. And he’s a giant man with a
tiny, beautiful, little skirt. He is doing his thing. He wants to eat the planet. What is the course
of events for you and the NY1 team when you
hear that a giant purple being has come to Earth? Get a live truck as
close to the giant purple being as possible. Yeah. That’s newsman right there. Newsman gets in there. Now is it newsman, or do
you send like a Roger Clark to just like, throw his life
right in the thick of things? Whatever I would ask Roger
to do, I would do myself. Aw. This is smart.
Look. Oh, man.
– Yeah. Newsman is full of integrity. That was a trick
question, I think. [CHUCKLING] Also, from “The Daily
Bugle” this morning, “Four Wounded in Stark Riot,” a
1972 headline from Iron Man 45. “Iron Man and Guardsman Lash
Out at Student Demonstrators. This happened at the Long Island
plant of Stark Industries. A clash erupted between
student protesters and the Avenger
called Iron Man.” There’s a lot going
on in that one too. – There is a lot.
– There is. What do you do when your
hero just goes off the rails? Yeah, and the kids– the
safety of everybody there. And then do you know that
your hero’s actions has actually gone off
the rails, or is there a broader plot at work? Yeah. This would be incumbent upon
us to not only investigate the appearance of the story,
but also whether the facts were as they appeared. Yeah. That, I feel like,
would be a story you’re going over for days on days. Because there’s just going to
be so much coming to light. Yeah. I love it! All right, so this last
one is extremely emotional. OK. So– – Oh!
– Yeah. – Got your camera.
– Got your camera right there. OK. This just in, “Norman
Osborn is Dead.” Norman Osborn’s “Body
Found in the Chemical Industry Mogul’s Warehouse
Under Mysterious Circumstances. Spider-Man and Green
Goblin Were Involved.” It says, “Norman Osborn,
the corporate leader, dead at the age of
mumble, mumble.” [CHUCKLING] That is a ripe old age. And it says it’s probably
Spider-Man’s fault. Well, potentially true. I can imagine what it’s like to
get something that is breaking news that would have to
just blow up everything else that’s going on. No, that would be
the sort of headline that now blew out
the programming, blew out the commercials.

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