Liz Phair’s Surprising Encounter Outside Fox News – You Up w/ Nikki Glaser

Liz Phair’s Surprising Encounter Outside Fox News – You Up w/ Nikki Glaser


– I wonder if Liz Phair’s
gonna laugh at us? – I hope, I mean– – I hope she like’s us. – I think I’m just gonna
be too nervous to be funny, but we’ll see. She seems too cool to laugh.
– Onya, what are you gonna do? – Does she laugh? – I’m just here trying to
gather enough confidence to sit here in the room. She is my Dave Mathews. Like Nikki has a Dave
Mathews fixation, she’s the reason I play music. – You’re gonna make me cry. – One of the top three. – That’s gonna be so exciting to have you meet her.
– But, I’ll be chill, I’ve met her before. – You have? – Yeah, I interviewed
her years ago, or I was in the room while
we were interviewing her when I was–
(laughter) – [Nikki] That’s not even
close to what an interview is. – She was like, “I was in the building.”
– To be truthful I was on the floor. – Yeah, and this is Jen Show. – Indian style,
cross legged style. (luaghter) I really was, I was in the
corner of the room while my– – I love how that story
started, I interviewed her while I was
– I told myself a story sitting in the corner
– I interviewed her. I was literally in the corner on the carpet.
– On a box. Just like, “Oh my God, I can’t believe she’s here.”
– Trying not to be seen. – I sneezed and they
asked me to leave ’cause it was a disruption, but we had a great interview. [lively rock music] – Welcome back to the show, it’s You Up with Nikki Glaser. In studio, Anya
Marina, Hannah Burner. Love having you here. And now, singer, songwriter,
rock star, feminist, icon, Liz Phair, author,
Liz Phair is here. Liz Phair welcome to the show. – [Liz] Thank you for having me. – I’m so excited you’re here. I’m such a fan, you’re
such a influence to me. Your new book “Horror
Stories”, it’s a memoir, but it’s not the kind
that you would think that we would expect
from you, right? Like these aren’t, someone did a review and said, “You don’t talk
about songwriting or
picking up a guitar.” There’s no mention, you might
not know you’re a musician if you read this book. Why go in that
direction with it? – Well, I don’t know. The Rockefeller Center
incident at the end of the book when I like, absolutely
completely don’t
know where I am, and the song on live television
– Okay, well then there’s– and I’m just staring
there at the camera. And Howard Stern had a field
day about it the next day. – Oh wow. – I had a temperature of 104, and I had just gotten a
bikini wax in the green room. – [Nikki] Dude. – And had had my
hair put into little Shirley Temple ringlets, and I just didn’t have it. – Wait, you actually
got a bikini wax? – Yes. – [Anya] Back Stage? – I mean, I feel bad for
my current boyfriends, because clearly I
cared so much more back then.
(laughter) I was like, ‘I don’t care.” – Not caring is the best. That’s what I’ve
been talking about. – Wait, so you were about to, where were you about to preform? – The Tree Lighting Ceremony at Rockefeller Center,
– Oh dude! Which is live.
– They don’t want pubes for that, no.
(laughter) – And it was a track, I was singing instead of
being with a live band I was doing to track.
– Oh God. Which is not my thing,
I don’t ever do that. And they turned up the
volume in my ears late. So part of the song
was already going. – Oh my God. – By the time I heard it start. So I was off, by like
a good couple bars. And I realized it
halfway through the song when the music was
clashing with my voice, and I just stopped. And I just stared at
the camera for like, at least 30 seconds
of just dead air. Just like, with my
Shirley Temple ringlets, and my 104 fever, and
my vagina throbbing, you know I was just like.
– But, looking amazing. – Oh my God. – I haven’t gotten to that chapter yet
– Disaster. I’m excited. – She’s like, “And I
haven’t gotten a wax since.” – [Nikki] I like how you said– – Sugaring, sugaring. – I heard sugaring is good too. – Yeah, yeah, do they
just rub sugar on it? – [Hannah] Yeah. – I haven’t really looked into
it, and your hair falls off? – You just eat candy
until your body stops making hair.
– Rejects hair. – I’m a laser girl now, but. – [Nikki] Oh you are? – Yeah. – You got it lasered
and then now more? – I’m like, I’m in the process.=Oh wow, yeah. – It’s a whole process,
I couldn’t do waxing. I was too sensitive to it. And the whole time
I would just like, curse out whatever guy
I was sleeping with. ‘Cause like, I’m
not doing it for me. – I thought you we’re like,
“Whatever guy was doing it.” I’m like, “You had
men waxing your puss?” – It’s the only way
I orgasm, sorry. (laughter) I’m sorry Liz, I’m sorry. I was like actually
pretty not inappropriate till Liz came in,
and I got nervous – Yeah. No you’re brilliant. – As long as there’s some
one else who, you know, word vomiting, it helps. Thank you, helps
keep the solidarity. I really appreciate that. – I like what you talk
about in that moment of having you’re hair
done, getting the waxing. There’s so much as a
performer, as a woman. I’m a stand up comedian,
Anya a singer/song writer, Hannah’s a stand up comedian. But there’s so much that
goes into your looks, and not even what
you’re out there to do, that men don’t
have to deal with. And have you come
at peace with that, or you still struggle with that, do you resent it? ‘Cause I’m projecting,
I resent it a lot, I resent it a lot.
(laughter) – It’s expensive. – Yes. – And it’s also the
last thing that, I mean I love my
management to pieces, but that’s sort
of like, you know, I have to say like, “Uh do I
have to look good right now?” And they just assume I just
kinda look good all the time. And I’m like, “No.” – [Nikki] Yes. – I go home and I’m
like, and then it’s like, oh you gotta look
good, okay here I am. And I’m like, everything, and everything.
– You’re right. – But there’s so many
things we have to do. Look at these nails, I came to New York
for my book publishing and big triumphant thing, and I did not get my nails done. It’s like a thing. – How dare you not get your nails done?
– I brought gloves. I could be like, you know,
hanging out here with like my. – I would never notice that, but we, yeah we
have get our nails, men don’t have to do anything. – Eyebrows. – What do they do with all the
– Teeth whitening. hours that they’re not,
– Teeth whitening , yeah. like getting pretty? – And then we have
to read books about. – They can read, they can study,
they can write, they can– – Yeah, but do they?
– Then why are they so dumb? – They do not. They watch sports
– They play video games, and they take long shits. (laughter) But, I would like to do that. – It’s funny that she said, “I have to look good,” ’cause now that I started
doing industry stuff I’ve realized it. I’m like, “Do I have
to look good for this?” And then I take so much, I only have like one time a day to put in my
looking good effort. You know, like you have
to put a way about you. – [Nikki] Yes. And it’s exhausting. Multiple times a day I can’t
do the looking good thing. You put your energy into once, and then I’m like done. – It’s so much work
men don’t have to do. It’s hours and hours
which turns into legit years of our lives. At the end of lives
you can think of, I spent probably two years of
my life blow drying my hair. – That’s why I love this
idea of Nikki’s going on tour and she’s thinking about
doing a no make up tour. And I was thinking
if you have me open, I just want to wear one
dress for the whole tour. – I want to do that too. – And never wash it. – [Nikki] A uniform. – Stage outfits. – Just one dress. Just the same pink dress. I paid $1,000, $1,200
for this fucking dress. – You should wear
that every single, I’ll wear it too, we’ll change. (laughter) – Get your moneys worth. – Do you remember Jenny
Lewis’s rainbow suit? – Yes. Did she wear that every night? – I think so, and I thought, “That is just
straight up brilliant. – But what’s funny is
there will be people that will judge you and be like, “I don’t like her outfit.” Where you never hear, like
a guys stand up routine, where they were like, “I
don’t like his jacket.” – Yes, well you were
preforming recently and what did the
girl say to you? – “We love your calves
and your boots.” – And then what did you
think your whole show the rest of the time? You had a great show.
– And then I made up a song on the spot about how
I was gonna obsess about my figure skating
calves the entire way, ’cause that’s how my calves
got the way they did. Because I was a young athlete. – Same. – And I was just like, “I
Know that’s a complement, but I’m gonna be obsessing
about the size of my calves the entire way home.” But no, it was a complement. It was nice, but still, why?
– But it’s still. – Appearance, appearance. Women are there to look
pretty, and make you babies. – That’s what I
love about you Liz. And I have to say, I
would not be in music if it wasn’t for you. I saw you in ’94 I
think, Jewel was opening In San Francisco at the
Warfeild or Fillmore, I can’t remember where. But I remember
– I remember that. Exile in Guyville on cassette
in my Dodge Colt on repeat, and I was like, “This woman
is saying all the things that I can not even believe
I’m allowed to think or say.” And you are articulating
all of our experience in this brave, funny,
vulnerable, sweet way. And then you played this show, and I just remember
like, Jewel was engaging, and amazing, and everything. And I was like, “Oh, she’s
cool and I’ll get her record.” But you were so, just
like, this is my voice, and this is me and it’s real. You we’re showboaty,
it was the first time I’d heard a woman singing
with this real voice that I was like, “I bet
she talks like that.” And I’ve always loved
singers like that, who sound like they talk. Like I don’t love, like a real
vocal gymnastics kinda voice, you know what I mean? No offense to the big pop-stars, but I love how natural
and real it is. I forgot my point.
(laughter) – [Nikki] We’ll it helped
you find your voice. – I literally forgot
my point, but. – Well, I knew your point, because I’ve heard
this several times, and I know that Liz Phair
means to you and your career. – Thank you, take me back. – Rewind. – Because I was
fascinated by the idea of finding your
voice as a singer, because you try to probably
mimic other people. You don’t realize
it’s an instrument that you can choose
how it sounds. Which I’m still learning as
just a talking performer, but you said that you
were struggling with, what do I sound like? If I want to write songs and
sing, what do I sound like? And then you heard Liz
Phair, and you were like, “What if I just
sounded like myself?” And then that’s how you
found you legitimate voice, like what did you
use to sing like? – I remember I drove around with one of those
little tape decks. Liz is dancing, I love this. (laughter) But I drove in my
Colt, my Dodge Colt, and I remember I’d like try
to sing and I’d be like, “No, that sounds like
little orphan Annie.” ‘Cause I’d be like
belting out like, “Tomorrow,” and then I
was like, no what about “Tomorrow, tomorrow.” And then I finally settled
on like, “Tomorrow.” And it was this soft voice,
but I kinda got there and I remember playing it
back for the 20th time, and I was like, “That
sounds kinda close.” Like, you’re getting warmer. And it was not what I
thought you should sing like. ‘Cause at the time it
was like, I don’t know, the early 90’s or something, but then you were out,
Juliana Hatfield was out, and it really gave me the
courage to kind of like, find my way and
write in a new way. So anyway, thank you for that. – Thank you for that story. That’s really touching. I’m gonna be
thinking about that. I mean it’s a lovely
idea that you were like, searching for your own voice. You were slowly
peeling back layers. – And she found it
by stealing yours. (laughter) – I think I remembered
why I started this, ’cause of we were talking
about women’s issues sort of, and feminism weren’t we now? Like being in a male
dominated industry or world. And I love that you
always seem to love men, and you were strong. And that you we’re a
capable woman killing it, and making your way,
and having a career. You never, like slammed men, but you would talk openly about what it was like
to get a record deal, or be in this male
dominated city, Chicago, where you came up and
did Exile in Guyville. I’m so curious about
what that’s like for you, like how it’s been
over the years. ‘Cause now it’s
like, decades later. You’re still doing music. You’re still killing it. You’ve done lots of
different things. – And I’m about
to share something that I really shouldn’t share. And I’m still clocking men. I’m still like– – [Hannah] On this
you’re gonna share it? – Yeah, am I? – [Hannah] Please do. – Okay. I’m gonna regret this. So, we did Kennedy
the show last night. So we were standing
outside of Fox News, which I politically do
not agree with, at all. So, I was kind of
like, you know, my boots are digging into the
pavement and I’m just like, “I don’t know if
I can go in here.” And you know, everybody
was so nice to us. And it ended up being
a wonderful example of, hey, people are people. We can recover the
country, kind of feeling. But, we’re standing
in the lobby, and we’re meeting the
hair and makeup women that are gonna do me. And everyone’s sort of talking, and I’m there with my manager
and a publicist from the book. And I turn, and I see
this tall drink of water. And I’m like, “What?” And I just like,
clock these shoes, and this fine lookin’ suit. And this dude walks past and
I just kind of catch his side and the back of
him, and I’m like, I think I actually said
out loud like, “Hey now.” Not that he could hear, like
I know he couldn’t hear, but it was just this kind of
spontaneous like, “Hey now.” And it was Eric Trump.
– She slaps his ass. – Oh my God! – And I’m like, “I can
never live this down, for the rest of time.” – [Onya] Big exclusive, on Nikki Glaser’s You Up.
– That was so funny. – I thought she was gonna
say Dan Soder for a second. Wait, that’s fascinating. – I can’t wash my brain. I know who I am now. And I know who’s driving. – Your vagina. – God, that’s so good. – You know, I love being able
to be such a strong feminist, and then being like,
“And I love men. I love them, I
love all of them.” As long as you let me, be me. – I always get told
I’m a man hater. – Yes, what’s wrong
with that world? Can we all just
live in that world? – What world, sorry? – That I love men, as
long as they let me be me. – Yes. – We were talking about like,
I’m not about being like, “Men and woman are equal.” No, we’re very different and let’s embrace our
beautiful differences. Emotionally, physically,
and simultaneously exists. – [Nikki] Yes. – Thousand percent. – Holla, lighters up. – Lighter up for sure, I just– – I wanna start saying
that, that was cool. Wasn’t that cool? (laughter) – I said it like, I– – You like tried to say it too– – I said it after to like
cement it in my mind, as like that’s the
thing you say now. – It didn’t come out the same
as when she said it though. – I think it’s actually
something you said
eight years ago. I’m not kidding, like
do not follow my lead, please.
– No I think it’s coming back, I think lighters
up is back in 2019. – It’s so much better
than iPhones up. – Yes, oh my God. I just rub two
sticks together up. (laughter) I do it really old school. I’ve been channeling
you recently, and I realize your
song “Fuck and Run”, which is one of my
favorite songs of all time. I always am reluctant to
share it on my social media, because I’m always feeling
it and it’s always my mood. Like if you put out a song
that’s like, this is my mood, that song is literally
always my mood. Since I heard it, since
it was introduced to me by my English professor
who I became friends with, who knew I struggled– – [Hannah] What? – Yeah, it’s not creepy. – [Hannah] You’re freaky. (laughter) – But it was in college. And he’s one of my best
friends, he’s brilliant, but he was like, “Have you
ever heard of Liz Phair?” And I was like, “Of course.” And he’s like, “But this song.” And I’ve been obsessed
with that song ever since. But it’s so, it just
explains what it’s like to be a single
woman kind of like, sleeping around, and
figuring out who you are. But then the, I don’t know
even if it’s the course, but it’s just like, “I wanna
boyfriend, I wanna boy.” And it’s I can never share
it because I feel to seen in that part, and it’s too
vulnerable for me to admit that. But in avoiding putting
that on my Instagram, because I’ve been
tempted to so many times of just like, this song is me, every girl needs to hear it. I want girls to hear this song. It’s helped me through
so many times, that song, in my life just knowing that
your this cool badass chick who has felt that
same way I felt. Of just, I’m trying to
get these guys to love me. I’m sleeping around, I’m like hooking up and then
they abandon me the next day. And they make up excuses that they have to go
get a lot of work done, when I know they don’t. And I know that as
soon as they leave they’re gonna go
– You don’t have a job. back to sleep. (laughter) Recently! – You don’t have a job. I know you don’t
have to go to work. – Your app that you’re
creating is not a thing. – He’s talking about
plastic surgeries. He’s getting a lot of
work done later on. But I recently have
started on stage, I open my next kind
of special, I go, “Guys, um, so like
I want a boyfriend, I wan a boyfriend so bad.” And I didn’t even
realize it till right now when we opened with
your song this morning, that I stole that from you. I literally stole your lyric and injected it
into my stand up, because I do want boyfriend, and I don’t want to be scared
about saying it anymore. Because it’s this thing that you’re not supposed
to admit as a woman. It’s to vulnerable, it’s like, and no one wants
to be a boyfriend. – Desperate or something? – Yeah, and guys are
always just trying, I have to keep telling guys, like stop not wanting
to be my boyfriend. Like if you could as
collectively just all stop that. But I can’t get a
boyfriend to save my live. But in saying that on
stage it felt so freeing, and I really thank you for that. And I didn’t put it
together until now, but like, I’m quoting
Liz Phair in my special which is part of the Degenerates
is coming out on Netflix. But it’s totally
inspired by you. – Thank you. – Do you have a boyfriend? – I do not. And the same thing
just happened to me. Like I was flirting around
and kind of casually dating this guy that I was very clear that I was looking
for a relationship. And he was like,
“Well I am not.” And then like, back and
forthy, back and forthy. And it just finally, no
it still ended up as, well I’m looking for a
boyfriend, and I am not. You get that feeling,
it’s like, what is it? Is this gonna get any better? Is it only gonna get worse? I have this terrible feeling, that it might not be getting better.
– The world is ending. You know? Like how are women’s
– But that’s anxiety just emotional needs
– thinking about the future. going to be met in the
world of hook up culture, is my question? – Great question. – We don’t have answers.
– It’s crazy too, because you both are so successful
in your careers, and like fulfilled on paper in terms of like
accomplishments. And but it’ great to be like, “And I want someone
to share that with.” But also, yeah it’s human
nature to want to share. – I’m so frustrated
by it though, because you’re right, like I hear you saying you
don’t have a boyfriend. I’m like, “Why don’t you, you could have
anything Liz Phair.” And I could say
that about myself. And I really do feel that way, like I get everything
I want in my career. I mean it’s been struggles
and I’ve had rejections, and there are things I want
and I’m still aiming towards. But I’m like, “I know
I’m gonna get it.” Like if I really
work hard enough, I’ve proven to
myself I can do it. But I really want a boyfriend, and I can not get one. And I feel like I don’t
know what to do anymore. Like I just feel
like, like you said, “I’m kind of realizing
like, it might be–” – Well it might be, it might
be this time in history. It might be that
as women work more, and they’re more independent and more financially
independent, and yet
we still have the, and I know we all have it in
the backs of our minds like, “There’s a fire in
the living room, and my husband is
reading the paper, and I have just
made fresh brioche. And look there’s the
dog in from outside, and it smells like cold aid.” Like that will always haunt
me, like I grew up want– – I could listen to
her talk all day long. Her voice. – I want that, and
yet, all my choices lead me toward art
rather than that. So I’m part of this. – Yes. – And I just don’t know
if this is just, you know, 50 years from now
they’ll have it sorted, and we’re just the
casualties of the, I mean that might be true.
– Are you saying, that men need to evolve?
– It might be. Like because we, men need
to realize that like, we’re changing were not
just waiting for them. And we’re doing our careers,
and men need to evolve to realize we’re a
different type of woman now? Because you’re choosing your career
– But we have to change our fantasies too, sadly. – Yeah. – And we don’t want to,
because we still have, we’re still of a
generation that’s, and I’m not in your
generation actually but, large, big picture, I am. We’re still growing up on
– And you’ve inspired our the fairytales.
– generation. Which is why my next book
is called “Fairytales”. Like, that we still have
that same sort of like, if you think about your
actions and my actions, so we aim towards
that sofa image? No we don’t. Every action we take every day
is career, career, art, art. And yet we’re still like,
“But where’s my happy ending?” – Is your fantasy changing? – No it’s the same
fantasy I’ve always had. I mean, would I like it
to be in a grand castle, and she’s going
like, “Yes I would.” – Is it in a beach house? – ‘Cause once your fantasizing
there’s no stopping it. You know, your like,– – Is it an older man,
is it a younger man, is it Eric Trump, is it–? (laughter) – You will never live it down. – No but I mean, is it
a surfer guy, is it? – Oh a skater boy. – [Onya] Help me, help me. Do you find that you’re
attracted, aside from Eric, do you find that you’re
attracted to the bad boys, or musicians like me? – No, I think my taste
in men is very good. I mean, I really think I
have great taste in men, but I don’t think I pick
someone that just screams security and stability. I think I go for someone, I want someone that has like, a bigger personality
than mine actually. I want, it’s to conflicted. Do you see how the
conflict exists in me, and probably exists
in all of you? I want someone to be, make my knees, I
want to be like, “Oh wow, no he’s really smart, like you know, he’ll tell you.” I want to feel that feminine
– The feminine energy. lean into the man. – Like, “We’ve got
a boat for you.” – We’ve got a boat for you. (laughter) – But all my actions lead
me the other direction. I’m like Alice in Wonderland, like walking towards the house and I find that I’m
walking away from it. Walking toward the house, and I find that I’m
walking away from it. – Yeah, I mean you
hit on something that I just came
across this week. I’m having all these epiphanies
that your facilitating. (laughter) But this is true,
it’s like I complain about not having a
boyfriend, but guess what? I haven’t put that, the effort
has gone into my career. I have sacrificed, it
seems to trite to say, “I’ve sacrificed so
much for my career.” But I look at my sisters life and she’s married with
kids, but she’s a teacher. Like, she didn’t go for a career that was gonna
dominate her life, and her every waking second. And make her, I don’t
have time to date. I don’t have time
for a man in my life, and I complain that
I don’t have one, but it’s, I’ve chosen
a career over a man. And I was thinking this, I was
thinking this this morning, if someone said to
me, “You can do SNL, in January you’ll host SNL, or you can have the
love of your life and have the most romantic
adventure of your life, which one would you choose?” SNL. I would choose– – Every damn time. – Every time, every time. And that’s not to say
you’ll never do SNL if you choose the romantic,
but I just, I want that now. Even though all I think
about is boyfriends, I don’t think about SNL ever. – Nikki if you really want a
boyfriend you can a boyfriend, but you also have standards. – Yes. – So let’s factor that in too. – Well I want the kind
of guy I want I want. – Uh oh, what kind of
standards does she have? – Do you also go
for unavailable men? – That’s her standard. – Probably because I
want built in space, I want built in space. I need someone, as
my friend put it, she said, “You need someone who’s geographically
inconvenient.” Because I need a lot of,
like, just alone time. Or my own thing time. And I’m not good with
latching onto someone and staying side by
side all the time. – Your like, “I want a lot
of attention, and space. Figure it out.” (laughter) – I like Friday through Sunday. – Yes, hence. – Um, we have to
go, but Liz Phair we didn’t even talk
about your book, and I’m so sorry. – It’s so good. – But you need to
get Liz Phair’s book. It’s called “Horror Stories”.
– I’ve been reading it. – I want to read it. – It’s all stories from her life about the human condition. – So well written. – Onya goes, “I can’t believe, I know she’s a great
singer/song writer and obviously wrote
amazing music, but she’s is so
amazing at pros.” And I can’t wait to just
sink my teeth into this book. I’ve already gotten so much
from one song you wrote. That has seriously taken
me through the years. I love you so much,
thank you for being here, thank you for
sharing that story, that exclusive story that
we’ll use against you. – Yes forever. But check out Liz Phair’s
new book, “Horror Stories”, out now, out yesterday,
as of yesterday. “Horror Stories”, Liz Phair. If you’re not into
her, get into her, and if you’ve always
been into her, get her book “Horror Stories”. We’ll be back with
more show after this, thank you Liz Phair. – Thank you guys. – We went to a pool party, and neither one of us went
into the pool, or in the sun. – No I can’t stand it. – We just sat around and
talked about relationships, and I don’t know, and
men being horrible. – We did? – While at a pool party. You did, at a pool party. – Yeah. – Instead of being fun,
and like enjoying yourself, and maybe like– – Well you could’ve
gone in the pool, there were people in the pool. – My tits are fat right now. – Oh, is that why you
didn’t go in the pool? – Yeah, I didn’t want
to wear a t-shirt, ’cause I saw how absurd Ray was. – Oh my God. Our friend Ray was just
wearing a t-shirt in the pool. That was insane. Did people make fun
of him for that? I didn’t even get a chance too. (lively music) – It was too sad. – It was so weird. – I don’t think he has
that bad of a body. – No, he doesn’t. – Just New Yorkers when
you grow from New York you never show your body. And then next you know,
your in California. There’s so much sunlight. – I don’t understand, I can not comfortably go
from wearing clothing, like going to the pool, I have to already be in a
swimsuit when I go to the pool. I can not be out
there and go, like, “I’m ready to get in the water.” Like, it’s undressing
in front of men. It’s wearing underwear
in front of men, which I am not comfortable with. – You could see
vaginas at the pool. – Yeah, you could
see everything. – Yeah. – I don’t think I’m weird, but girls just like, can
wear bikinis in front of men. I can not do it. I can’t do it. Especially my male friends. Then they’re gonna look
at me sexually and I just, then it’s just– – If I wore a
Speedo to the pool, all I would keep
thinking about is, “Is my dick, is there
blood on my dick?” – Why blood? – Like is my dick thick? Does my dick look like
it’s fucking healthy? Like, do I have a
meat cock in my pants? That’s all I would
keep thinking. – Right. – But then I’d be like, “But
don’t have to thick of a cock. Because then it’ll
look like you’re hard.” ‘Cause there’s a middle
ground a guy has. – Well you have trunks. – Huh? Yes, but I’m saying, I’m trying
to relate to being a woman. – Yeah, but we don’t have dicks. So there’s nothing to like, I’m not worried about something
looking big, or bulging. – No, but you’re
worried about people, some women probably worry is
like, “Are my lips showing?” Can you see the indention’s. – No it’s not about
that, It’s just like, I’m naked in front of men who I want to look at
me as a friend. And like men are visual creatures.
– Oh so you’re not worried that people can see your pussy? – No, I’m worried that men
are gonna get turned on. And then the
dynamic will change, and then I can’t have normal
conversations with them. Or then they’ll
think about it later and maybe jerk off to me. And I don’t want my friends
even thinking about me that way. Or like– – So you just want
that at a distance? – What? – You want that at a distance? – Want what at a distance? – You want people to
be attracted to you? I mean you’ve talked
about that all the time. – Yeah but not my
male, not my friends. Not like, the men
that were all there, like if there was a guy
there that I was into, I wouldn’t of cared that
my guy friends were there. But there wasn’t anyone I
was trying to like, get into. – So if you’re into a guy you
could be in a bikini easier? – Yes. So much easier. – See, I couldn’t be
shirtless if I wanted– – Well, I like my body. And I work hard on it. – Yeah. It’s a waste, I mean I’m
not doing anything with it. It’s truly a waste. I don’t know why
I’ve had a good body for the past six years. It’s just like, who’s seeing it? I don’t even care. I mean I guess it looks
good with close one. – When you masturbate does it
turn you on to be more fit? – No. No, I don’t even
– Sometimes I’ll touch my own look at myself.
nipples when I jerk off. – What? – Sometimes I’ll pinch my
own nipples when I jerk off. – To make them hard so they
don’t look soft and puffy? (laughter) – Well that’s one of the things,
– Or ’cause it feels good? and it kinda feels good. Sometimes I’ll play with my
own taint while I jerk off. Is that bad? – You didn’t have to say that. – Why not? Do you guys do that? – Don’t ask, that’s harassment, and they’re shaking
their head no. – Oh sorry, I didn’t know, I
thought we we’re all family. – No, no. You wouldn’t be able
to recognize these guys in a line up in an hour. – Sorry guys, sorry about that. – Hey guys, you just watched
a clip from my radio show, You Up with Nikki Glaser. That you can hear every
morning on Comedy Central Radio Sirius XM channel
95, 10 to 12 eastern. And you can check out
a clip here on YouTube, every Tuesday. – Or check out my Podcast. – No!

Author:

72 thoughts on “Liz Phair’s Surprising Encounter Outside Fox News – You Up w/ Nikki Glaser”

  • Liz Phair still a hottie!!! How does she do it!? Been a fan for so long. Her lyrics taught me a lot about women and why i should only talk to them in the presence of a chaperone.
    Bought the book!

  • fantastic Work, I Liked it a lot, See this New Album 'Monish Jasbird – Death Blow', channel link www.youtube.com/channel/UCv_x5rlxirO-WKjLIyk6okQ?sub_confirmation=1 , you might like 🙂

  • God I love this… Like any of them are forced at gunpoint to put on makeup and look good. Cry more, four of the most privileged people on the planet

  • This was so deep. I really hope you all get the love you deserve. I am sorry for your pain. I wasn't a hook up type of dude, well maybe one summer at Penn State. But I was a person that would just move on when my mind was in that place. I didn't do that well. This was was even more insightful to me. I appreciate you all for that.

  • Liz Phair has provided my family with much of the soundtrack to our lives. My mom and sister and cousins and friends would all get so excited every time her songs came on. We saw her play in montreal not too long ago and I couldn't help but feel she was very entertained by mom sister, mother and me dancing and singing right up at the front to each song with the biggest smiles on our faces. She is the coolest. I would absolutely love my mind if I got to meet her.

  • Listening to Nikkie from this and mostly other times she speaks you can know that They want a man as rich as them and works as much, but then want him to not be working and have time for them anytime they're around, but then they dont want him to have a big ego that you would get from being a big shot, but they want him to have confidence but you can only get that kind of confidence without the ego by him being more humble. These combos arent found where they would look

  • They still go after the good looking guy, who have all the options, so the guys won’t commit. They don’t want the secondary non hot guys, who also want a relationship.

  • It would be nice if women didn't criticize each other so that they didn't wear make-up etc as men really don't care in the same ways as women do – ironically men are resented for women's own insecurities even when they are stunners like the ladies above.
    A compromise might be to cut back on make-up and to not assume men success is detrimental to women as men love women and don't work hard just to oppose women rather to support them and succeed to be attractive to the women who resent them.
    All the men I know respect women more than is fair, equality has been and gone, people ask for extra help and victim status even when the west is the best its ever been, the only people who treat women badly are the 15% of criminals you get in all male statistics, but we have prisons for them and I just wish all men where not put in the same category are these few bad guys.
    I'm generalising so the exception are there but the patterns are real, plus women like the bad guys so you get what you want not what you need, I don't listen to what people say but what they do.
    The other problem is women don't date down only up (generalized obviously) whereas men date any women and don't care about money or status

  • acerhen somerhen says:

    Its funny how they think maintenance is so hard, when its just girls talking to girls who notice it. Guys compliment you not because we care, its because you care if we do. So don't put that on us.

  • If you don't have time to date and only look for hook-ups, don't complain you can't have a boyfriend, it's 100% your fault. Also, a guy who makes the money you ladies make can probably have almost all the girls they want, they don't have to put up with your neurotic bs. And sorry to hurt you, but while still attractive, you're all past your prime time, guys on your "level" certainly don't wanna commit to people like you, especially with your baggage.

  • I love how these women are complaining about wanting boyfriends when they have all the power. Most men don't want women that are older and or sleep around. It's just the facts. It's not men's fault, it's women's.

  • Travis Hunt YouTube PhD says:

    Damn. I could tell all the fake laughs from these unfunny people other than Nikki but even she is only funny with her 'my vagina' jokes

  • So much Redpill content here it's insane. "Lady" by Roosh V is the one book these women need to read or go to Costco get the 15lb bag of catnip along with the 2 dozen cats. Absolutely love Nikki but it seems, like most women, she hasn't taken the time to really understand men and what we value in future wives.

  • robert bourgoine says:

    My closest friends have always been women, and i've noticed, no one judges other females more than other females… cant blame guys for everything right?

  • Staahhp It Nikki. I appreciate your candor but you've got to observe yourself from the perspective of the guys you're trying to attract & no self respecting man who's also gorgeous & successful(your standards)will be interested in being the boyfriend to someone who's been documenting her desperation publicly across all platforms. It cheapens the whole process of falling in love organically. We all want to feel like the chosen one, not just the one who was chosen. You can't give away what you don't have & a (wo)man won't feel confident with someone who's not feeling confident with themselves. It's more complimentary to win the affection of someone who is so satisfied with their own company that if you manage to jumpstart their dating interest, it must mean you're exceptional. Feelings are assholes, I know but you're inadvertently hurting your own feelings going about things this way. Stop breaking your own heart. Ugh I'm disgusted with all my bumper sticker philosophy but you're worth my momentary self-cringiness 🙃

  • There's so much wrong about this podcast that I almost don't know where to start… First off please stop making excuses and to blame men for all your problems, we don't care about makeup, we don't care about your hair, we don't like to wait 2 hours for you to get ready to leave the house, and foremost we are not the ones judging you for looks. Any magazine, internet blog/vlog/journal, TV-show or anything doing that is specifically designed towards female audiences. You call yourselves feminists when in fact you act like misandrists.
    Take Nikki for instance, she only wants a super hot guy that also makes a lot o cash and is open for relationship. Please know your value… check out the girls a dude with that profile can get (it's 9s and 10s) and that is definitely not Nikki-territory – and then add her emotional baggage to this equasion. She just makes men responsible for her misery while she is fishing in the wrong tank. And she compares her looks to Liz? C'mon Nikki, if you were a guy she'd be soooo way out of your league…
    Then hear what Liz has to say. So she dated a guy that clearly told her that he was NOT OPEN FOR RELATIONSHIP and still she tries to make it his fault it didn't end up in a relationship? – like WTF dude??? And she wants somebody to be on-call when she needs it but stays out of her sight the rest of the time – she doesn't need a man, she wants a dog and a sex-toy.

  • I finally saw Nikki live! I watched her stand up in Burlington VT. It was fucking amazing! So was Ari and Andrew. BTW Nikki is sooo much hotter in person!!

  • This makes me so sad. What these women desire can only be fulfilled by Jesus Christ. If they really want a good man, they need to find a God-Fearing, Christ-loving man.

  • Liz has a handle on timeless. She has a interestingly infrequent aspect when watching her. Sort of spellbinding. How unusual.

  • Nikki is so resentful of men lol dare I say she needs MORE therapy…. Nikki, if you don’t want to blow dry your hair and wear makeup, don’t!
    But I have to say I’m so glad to hear an interview where the other guests are participating rather than sitting there afraid of Nikki 🤘

  • Actually. What we do with all those extra hours, generally speaking, is work that doesn’t involve ourselves. Basically. Making sure there’s enough money in the account so the Mrs can get her nails done and her crotch waxed 😂🤣

  • I love Nikki but she will never host SNL (or star in a movie or TV show). She just doesn't have that star quality, presence, or confidence

  • Psst, men don't care about pubic hair, this is another example of women trying to look good for other women. The friction a little bit downstairs hairs provide is worth more than the waxing pain could ever hope to resolve.

  • I'm looking for this larry david style relationship too. House with two master suites, I just can't sleep well with heavy breathing next to me.

  • 1. What do men do with all of that extra time instead of make up, hair care, clothes, etc.? Well, men are working more hours to make more money. That's why they get the extra 27 cents for every 73 that women get. Oh, boy, here come the torches and pitchforks.
    2. They can't get boyfriends, because their standards are so high. Women will only date 'down'. The more successful they are, the fewer men who they find successful. And, those very successful men very often want young, very physically attractive women, who will have their kids.

  • MyessYallyah Americus says:

    whats liz phair know about volcanoes or the mayan theatre? that's where I was when she looked really fine to my teenage eyes. I was retarded before I ever knew I was alive. I like a couple of liz albums. I liked her fender guitar to. I don't know if ive heard anything since the 90's. she would have to prove she was a woman still before she ever got near my dick, god is kind of tricky always trying to sneak up on my cock. only a real she will ever get my approval. the he indicates god coukld be sneaking up in those shoes. not on my watch will god get his begging mouth on my balls or cock,, after death I make no garentees except in hell ill always be. fuck me if you can prove you are a real lucky lady with immaculate timing. go fuck yourself til then.

  • I got curious who Anya actually was and I googled her. She's 43?! Jesus christ is she drinking infant blood or what?

    and Hannah, all those hours we're just looking at porn. Like not even jerking off just looking at porn cuz we're bored

  • Don’t be ashamed of saying you want a boyfriend. Everyone (mostly) wants to be with a significant other. You’re just being honest, which a great quality that a lot of/most people don’t have these days.

  • Nikki here is a tip on how to get a boyfriend. If you stop sleeping around that would help since there are still some guys not looking for a one nighter, but a LTR like I am. Good luck in your search, I hope we both find what we are looking for.

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