LEAVING A NARCISSIST  😮 BREAKING UP WITH CODEPENDENT NARCISSIST RELATIONSHIP

LEAVING A NARCISSIST 😮 BREAKING UP WITH CODEPENDENT NARCISSIST RELATIONSHIP


Hi, Youtube family Lisa a romano here the breakthrough [light] coach, and I’ve been asked to do a video That addresses how it is [we] [codependence] or recovering Codependence can prepare ourselves to leave a narcissistic relationship um There’s no way around it dear ones if you’re codependent life sucks, [and] if you’re married to a narcissist life sucks, and if you’re trying to leave [an] [office] narcissist right now life sucks um and It is better to understand that right now in your life. It’s about Breaking through breaking through and remember that when you’re leaving a narcissistic relationship it Literally feels like you are ripping your soul apart from another soul This isn’t just no way around it. It’s going to be [uncomfortable]. It’s going to be Possibly you can bring you to your knees at times. I know that when I was going through my divorce [um] it brought me to my knees because I had to come face to face with my loneliness and You know one [of] the things that I realized about marrying a narcissist was a That I was groomed to be a codependent because my parents were codependent Everyone that. I that was in my life was codependent. They just didn’t know it and Since I was a little girl, I was watching my mom enable my dad And I was watching my mom stuff her feelings, and I was watching my mom turn into two different people I mean She was [one] person around my dad and she was another person when dad wasn’t around and so you [know] learning to stuff my feelings, and then you know my mom would explode when my dad wasn’t around and Here I was a young mom really young mom with three little kids and I found myself exploding and I found myself so resentful and my body was completely breaking down and my Ex-Husband who’s a covert narcissist [and] Everyone loved him by the way because he was the same person like my mom when there was an audience He was not the same person when it was just myself and the kids But in the and the door shut he was someone else we got the silent treatment We got the glares I mean I remember it comes like an [applebees] with him or something when we were supposed [to] be reconciling and literally He sat there and stared out the window and ignored me, and I was like I’m done You know I don’t know we were sitting with the kids And I wrote you know how they give you the crayons and applebee’s and I wrote on the napkin I’m done [like] how dare you tell me that you want to reconcile and then ignore me, but that’s part of what happens in co-dependent relationships and codependent narcissistic relationships as soon as the co-defendants done and they want out of the relationship the narcissist comes running back It’s all a tactic and then the nice codependent. Thinks okay finally he hears me or finally she sees she sees me and As soon as you are that worm and you get back on that hook here? We go the games start again the way. I look at it. Is this a narcissist always wants to be one up on you Always and if you watch the narcissist if you just observe right you talked about this in another video When you start using the spirit of discernment just observe the Narcissist Detach? Pull your awareness into your body, and then [just] observe him or her you will see that their tactic is usually one up My Ex-husband used to tell act like you care to people [he] didn’t I Knew that but in his head, and he told me this even he’s like so what they don’t they don’t know that I really don’t care about them. I’m like, but that’s You’re not being genuine like you’re lying. Yeah, but they don’t know that That was part of his one up because in his head they didn’t know he was lying on a on an emotional level Where he needed to feel in power and control of the other person? On that level that’s where he felt the power over them you know being genuine with some narcissus [can’t] do it because [that’s] equal. You know that’s that’s authentic [that’s] an even exchange. That’s a partnership Narcissus cannot exist on that level they just can’t do it. They have [to] [be] up here Sometimes they resort to passive aggressive behavior and and sometimes they’re very overtly abusive you know with the criticism um But I remember when I was when I came face to face with the idea that oh my God. I’m a Codependent [I] am a serious codependent. I resentful I am angry I feel abused and I feel used and then I had to say wait a minute like this relationship is simply a manifestation of the way, I felt about my mom and This push and his pull and this wanting and this craving to be loved I craved my mother like fat kid craves cake like seriously like Mom see See me my we’ve done anything anything to feel like my mother loved me I’m dying for this acceptance dying for the sense of Lisa you belong It’s terrible to grow up that way and she was completely unaware that You know that this was well. I don’t know if she was completely unaware Sometimes I actually knew I think she [was] completely aware that there was no bomb and she used to talk [about] it She would say owe me a personality conflict and she that’s the way she chucked it You know she wrote it off, but again my mother was severely abused as a child she’s the adult child of two alcoholics a narcissistic mother a narcissistic Dad and You know so and she never she didn’t quit high school because she went she took care of an uncle who was very very ill so Having all this taking all this into consideration I can understand how a young 19 year old mom has all this this negative energy inside of her and does not feel seen by her own family never felt like she belong has me as her kid and just can’t bond and psychologically says well it must be the kid because we just I don’t like her personality and Think that that’s okay. That is so effed up dear ones like that’s not cool like if your mom Watching this video or if you know a mom someone in your family. Thinks it’s okay to like disdain the children It’s not now. I’m not talking about kids. We’re driving us crazy [who] are drinking smoke weed getting high you know stealing from us? That’s a completely different issue [I’m] talking about moms with small children, or dads who have an issue with bonding they cannot bond with that child That is that is indicative of a serious emotional problem with the pattern which is going to be transferred on [to] that child The disconnected child feels with mother the child’s heart is going to presume through the brain. I am no good and eventually that child will either become a codependent or a narcissist or in my opinion a being who uses emotional manipulation to get their needs met unconsciously and For some of us we cry when we don’t get our needs met or we don’t always tell the whole truth on Whether it was a whole bunch of ways that people play these effing mind games so like You know get people to see [us] and validate us. It’s just it’s just unhealthy It’s just unhealthy so when you when you come full circle And you realize that you’re a codependent and let’s say for instance your marriage were narcissists who has no interest in changing my Ex-husband we went into therapy and his intention was to convince the therapist that I was crazy and When that didn’t happen he nearly killed us on the way home Like he was pissed like he accused me of making things up. I wasn’t making [nothing] up You hear he said things like you set me up you did it on purpose I’m thinking this is therapy we’re supposed to be telling the truth What’s wrong with you, but in his head in my opinion? He wasn’t able to manipulate the therapist and so when I started speaking honestly to [the] third party he started to get an idea of What this really looked like me outside? And he started to realize that his control over me was slipping and that a may have [been] able to get someone else to see what was really going on inside the family and That freaked him the hell out, and I remember holding onto the dashboard thinking. He’s this sob He’s Gonna kill me on the way home. I was terrified um and so When I went into therapy with my ex-husband it was all a sham, but needless [to] say When I finally got to the point where I was like, okay, I’m done [I] had to accept that I was going to be in pain And it was going to suck, and it’s sort of like letting that you know what hit the fan It’s sort of like you just kind of surrender, and you say okay, okay? [this] is going to be painful [this] is I’m gonna have to like just stick this out it might be three months it might be six months where I feel weepy Where I’m grieving where I get used to not having this person in my life And I really believe in a quantum level when you’re sharing a space a home With another being you exchange electrons like your aura [it] meshes with their aura and your energy now is is transferring energy from there, or are I minutes proven like our org fields go out about eight feet eight to ten feet and In our Aura is [our] there there are electrons And so obviously if I’m standing next to someone our auras are you know go [into] intermingle? And so now you have an energetic intern intermingling you have a psychological and measurement You have a fear you have traumatic bonding I mean yeah when you when you make up that make up your mind to do this with someone that is is you know? Unhealthy then you’re going to feel all those dis entanglements. You’re going to feel that and it’s not comfortable What helped me was to? Understand that I had that my mind was sort of like a hanger yet I was going to have the emotional side where I was going to feel the separation and I was going to physically feel the pulling away and The grieving, but then there was the other side, where are you? logic and reason to get to a point where I was able to understand and that this was something that needed to absolutely happen and I think that if we’re able to get to getting points get to points in our lives We’re able to understand that It’s okay [to] honor the emotional sides of us as long as we keep thinking with our prefrontal Cortex and not the amygdalas in the hypo Campus remember all memories and patterns are stored the amygdala and Hypercam pused and I think it’s interesting that that information is stored You know in our temporal lobes, and I think about the hypo campus they make the lot like blinders on a Horse you [know] they keep us blind they keep us acting out these patterns you have to get here dear ones And I believe tapping of the prefrontal in the [of] [the] of the forehead is Very very helpful in some cases um I would suggest tapping like you know when you really really get anxious tap. You know This is going to get better. This is going to get better. This has to happen. You know better days are coming [you] activate the prefrontal Cortex where all? Logic and reason you know can take place We don’t have the neural wiring Outside of the hyper Campus Mimic look we have to create neural Pathways Literally you do not have the physical neural Pathways to the Prefrontal Cortex [yeah] If you are the adult child of an alcoholic or if you’ve been [emotion] used as a child And you haven’t worked through any of that stuff? And you’re married one time once and twice and three times in yada yada yada And your mess is old your life is still [a] mess chances. Are you’re working from here and not from here, [so] [one] of the things that will help you on [your] road as you as you detach from a narcissist is – yes bless the emotions Grieve it. Yes, Grieve it not to scream the end of the relationship like grief what has never been like when when you divorce a narcissist [you] have to hold healthy – not all people [do] which keeps them stuff, but It’s very healthy to grieve the idea that a the person that you loved didn’t exist because what co-dependents do they tend to See [people] the way they want [to] see them. You know I know myself I saw my ex-husband as someone who is trying to get it one day [um] I never did you know I believed that He had my best interest at heart and one day he told me I never think about your feelings like I Was like you say that out loud What like if you’re a codependent all you do is think about what your kids need you? Anticipate people’s needs you anticipate the needs of your husband or your wife [I] tell you you can’t stop thinking about how people feel if you’re codependent, and that’s part of the problem, so when you are detaching from these very and mashed Relationships a accept that it’s going to suck just stop. It’s like getting shot in the foot and not expecting it to her You know imagine getting shot in the foot? God forbid and like you wake up at a surgery and your foot hurts, and you’re freaking out like hey My foot [hurts] [a] [lot] supposed to hurt you know, but we sort of kind of a [soul] Then you know when you get shot the fuck. It’s supposed to hurt you get a tooth pulled. [it’s] supposed All right, we all kind of accept it so I think the same thing like accept this for the hurt also [except] logically that part of why you hurt is because you have not had a self and that Now the loneliness and the being aloneness and the space that you’re going to find now because this partner is going to be you know Extricated from your life that space is very essential now dear ones you have to fill that space with ideas and things that Serve you so fill your home with white candles Sage your house open the windows and sage every every room in your house. You know um by wonderful CDS start playing incredible music in your home make sure that you Absolutely take control of everything In your life that you see that you smell that you can touch and that you can hear I took my recovery very seriously [so] those of you who work with me what a one you know that I? Stopped watching the news. I only [listened] to music that made me feel inspired and made me feel good I Changed the art in my room. I had post-it notes everywhere My kids thought I was crazy. I had post-it notes in the refrigerator all the refrigerator things that said like you are enough You can do this a lot being alone is necessary um being alone is so important because what we’ve never done is we’ve never connected to the self and so because we were ignored as children and Our parents never connected to us we were never connected to self we didn’t we don’t even know that we Valued because our parents were supposed to look into our eyes right the eyes are the windows to the soul, and so it’s sort of like you look into Mommy’s eyes and you see love staring back at you, and your soul gets turned on because Mommy sees me it’s Magical it’s Incredible. It’s beautiful, and I do it with my [own] children I make sure that I look them in their eye and I can tell [that] they can feel me you know and I stare at them until they feel seen I’m Very important. Oh my God. It’s like trying on a wing. It’s turning on a light switch in a house um And so because that wasn’t done for many of us. We’re not connected to self so Now when we’re dealing with [people] who are narcissistic? We are we never get an [opportunity] to turn into self because they hijack every conversation they hijack They hijacked every experience They’re in our head they threatened to commit suicide if we leave them they stay threatening to Kill the dog they threatened to take the kids away. I’m not kidding. This [is] the kind of stuff narcissists do you know that you know that this is serious stuff, so Understand that being involved with the narcissist takes you away from self You cannot you cannot cannot cannot connect to self when all this stuff out Here is absolutely crazy. You need time you need space So you need space so that you can reflect on your ideas? So you need you need to be able to look at your mind and see how it’s thinking without being gaslighted Without being pulled into a dynamic without being cold selfish without being cold crazy you know, so it Really is magical to be alone after you end a relationship with the narcissist now What lots of us do is we jump right into other relationships in my opinion? That’s the worst thing you can do now there are certain people out there who say that? Human touch and all this stuff is very necessary [I] I Agree, but not when you [are] at the lowest point when you are the most needy and you haven’t worked this stuff out that’s the worst time for you to couple with someone you will not have boundaries you will not have good judgment and and worst of all you tuned up for a narcissist, so I Went on a sabbatical for two years after [I] guess the third Serious narcissist that I dated the second one after my husband who was the probably the worst of all? You know so here. I thought I was getting better and better and I Still I still years after my divorce. I attracted a narcissist so something up with me I was the common denominator, and that’s when I said, okay No more, I stopped dating for two years Truly truly truly pulled or at my thought processes You know took the spotlight and looked at every aspect of myself when was I being judgmental? Why was I being critical of myself? When was I being needy when was I doing something for someone expecting something in return when was I coming with a coming? coming bringing bringing myself to the table with a lack mentality When was I acting like I didn’t have enough um When was I? Not being my authentic self [when] was I toning myself down When was I being nice to people when I didn’t know how to be nice when was I? myself to people that wouldn’t have extended themselves to me, so an actually a priya period I Really really took a serious in personal inventory And I did like like the checklist I checked everything off and then After that that’s when I wrote a letter to the universe and I said you know by the time I’m 45 I will be ready to manifest this relationship this relationship will make me feel seen [I] Will respect this person this person will respect me I will be able to put everything all my belief behind him he will love my children I [will] love his children my children will respect him. He will be a good dancer Snazzy dresser Whatever it was [my] [it] was my letter to the universe um It all might fit 45th birthday hand to hand to God Hand to God on my 45th birthday my husband asked me out for dinner [I’m] not kidding right about it and my road would be on the codependent divorce um so definitely [dear] ones um I can share with you what helped me, and what helped me leave that first narcissistic relationship the one that I was married into Was understanding that was going to be painful embracing the pain I Bought candles I changed the art in my house I meditated every day sometimes hours for a day I loved meditating in the morning, and I loved meditating right before I went to bed I journaled [I] let myself feel and I gave myself probably about an hour every morning to Cry and to purge. I mean some days were so bad. I remember one particular day. I was on my bed You know with a gallon of ice [cream], and I was just like crying my eyes out eating this ice cream. It was just It was so gut-wrenching and my heart goes out to any of you Who [are] you know in the throes of that right now because it’s so so Mind-bending it really is um the time that you’re about to Approach however um as you move over because so many of you. God bless you Writing me telling me [that] you’re ending Narcissistic abusive relationships so many of you are right at that at that point where you’re letting go? And you have chill you have jobs, and you have careers [and] family and it’s and financial situations And it’s it’s so overwhelming right now. All I can tell you is that Breaking breaking free is the most important step most important step staying in your body dear ones try not to Self-medicate with drugs with alcohol with sex with shopping try not to self-medicate Stay in your body feel the emotions sit with the anxiety cry about the anxiety Tell yourself that it’s okay to cry embrace it let it happen Not [to] like Handle Zone let let it happen Then you know cry an hour or whatever and then then see if you can shift into logic and reason Sit sit in the lotus position and see if you can come [up] with all the reasons why you need to end this relationship [so] that you can create the neural Pathways the prefrontal lobe be diligent Expect that this is this is life’s work like if you want to learn Chinese You can’t learn Chinese an hour a week you have you have to practice [that] you want to learn greek you have to practice that you know Whatever, whatever it is that that that you you are being challenged right now for you have to embrace Wholeheartedly in that goes my office home. I’ll just ignore it um and so [um] Understand that the more diligent you are on the healing journey the quicker you heal So the more you look to escape and come out of body the slower. You heal [I] know for me I jump from relationships relationships when I got divorced worst thing. I could’ve done What now if I had just sat [in] my pain if I had done all my recovery work then? Really head-on then I would not have suffered [now] would have attracted the other two [narcissists] undoubtedly undoubtedly um So dear ones give yourself time Do not react do not react for the first on your life Don’t react to to the emotions that are shown up in you don’t react Just let them come up you this is what I teach in my teleclass since let them come on come on Let the Anger let the Anger and the rage and the sadness come from your toes all The way up through your Chakra system until your brain can say it’s okay. You deserve to [feel] this way I mean, it’s okay. Not deserve like you do something wrong, but it’s Absolutely valid that you feel this way this grief is real the major problem, I [think] most of us have Is the fact that there’s so much in us that is unconscious that we have yet [to] make conscious if you are domestic in a domestically abusive situation and You’ve attracted husband number three who now also abuses you and You grew [up] with an abusive father or your brother beat you up or [you] had suffered from sibling abuse Domestic violence is part of your programming Do you want until you make that conscious? You’re going to keep doing what you’ve over always done. You’re going to react and recreate and Recycle those are three deadly arms, and so you need to make that which is unconscious conscious And that’s what this time away from the narcissist is all about it’s part of it So let the feelings come out Give yourself time to heal [honor] it be good to the little girl inside of you be good to little boys out of you One of the things that I did was I used to go by myself ice cream cones And I would sit on a park swing um [you] know all by myself. You know just soothing this little girl that was inside of me um Beautiful [stuff] just I would started wearing pink nail Polish It sounds a little silly But I never wore pink nail polish and suddenly when I was going [through] this healing process. I started [to] wear pink It was all it was like I was saying it’s okay that this little girl was inside of me And I’m going to nurture her For some of my male clients some of the things that they do is [that] you know they start playing a lot of ball with Your sons, you know or you know um they start jogging? They start playing tag football with some of their buddies They start to really get in touch [with] this little boy that they feel that they’ve ignored So the time right now is very very important embrace [it’s] stay in body pay attention to what’s on the on what art you [have] in your home pay [attention] to what you’re listening to every vibration that your Brain and your being is exposed to you must take control over it negative people at work. Just move away Negative things the newspaper don’t read the newspaper bad things on the news don’t watch the news You’re in the car turn the car off or turn the radio off or listen to soothing men soothing music or music that makes that raises your vibration To everything and anything you can to take control of all of your senses wear satin Type pajamas to bed buy it buy a Satin pillow Buy body wash with cocoa butter in it or soothing soothing your soothing oils on your skin before you go to bed sniff Lavender I Mean every don’t drink alcohol. It’s very harsh. It’s very toxic Begin juicing we go on probiotics. [I’m] not kidding sit out [in] the sun for a little bit Anything that you can do to take control over the vibrations that [effect] you is? effective, especially when you’re in a crisis, and you’re dealing with Ending a narcissistic relationship you must love yourself to your ones. That’s the name of the game. That’s the name of the game I hope this is inspired you, please let me know you can reach me at on healing self-esteem at gmail.com You check out my website at wwlp.com Right now I have four mp3s available on for download on my website And I will be uploading new meditations soon to my website at healing self Esteem calm Namaste Dear ones bye

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100 thoughts on “LEAVING A NARCISSIST 😮 BREAKING UP WITH CODEPENDENT NARCISSIST RELATIONSHIP”

  • Lisa, I am totally absorbing every word…You are a great teacher, Im so glad I found your teachings…Thank you from the bottom of my heart! I hope youre having a great day! Thank you, Shari

  • Thank you for this information.  It really helps in my recovery from being in this type of relationship.  It really puts things in perspective.

  • you said it will hurt .. and the first step is to accept that it will hurt .. and I'm totally with you..
    then you say it might take 3-6 months .. but can it last for longer? I think it might take longer for me .. is that normal?

  • Some people think these phony narcissist are such great people when they don't even know them or where they even live . It's ridiculous! They don't think someone would tell lies about their life to get pity and to destroy all relationships with their victims. They want to be center of attention and take all love and attention away from their victims.

  • You nailed all my thoughts to the board. For the last year and half, I have been educating myself on this topic because I am at present, going through a breakup with a Narcissist. Everything you expressed, I experienced. Learning about how the different parts of the brain operates was the highlight for me. We have been together for 8 years. The last 3 years have been pure hell. A girlfriend of mine who does counseling, exposed me to the word Narcissist. I never gave this any thought, until I began to educate myself and in doing so, lay on the floor sobbing myself away. Allowing this pain and emotions to move from my body and mind sure is an effective release. Before, I would cover them up and pretended they don't exist. To you, Melanie Tonia Evans, Sam Vankim (not sure If I got his last name correct), keep up the magnificient and educational work. Your journeys were mean't for a greater purpose to mankind. Love and peace to you!

  • I think you have been stalking me and telling my story! 😉 I married a Narcissistic addict, produced one, who is also a co-dependent when her Father at age 8 went full blown Narcissistic addict. My daughter married a Narcissist Alcoholic so reminiscent of her Father. She is being abused by him almost to the point of death and killing herself with Meth and Heroin. My father is/was an emotionally vapid, Narcissist and my mother was so co-dependent that she never saw me. They were abusive to each other and all of us 10 children. I remember crying and begging my mother at age 22 to love me and her emotionless, non-plussed reaction. Everyone around me is broken in some way. I am on the precipice of abject failure and despair. Until last night after yet again another 're-con rush and save' the drug addict daughter, police interaction, and having to deliver my daughter into the hands of her husband who showed up, both of them have suspended licenses and I was assigned by the police to drive them to his parents house where he lives with his Narcissistic and codependent parents. I was also told by the police to get along with my son-in-law for my daughters sake. My daughter lived there for 6 years until she bolted and prefers to live on the streets in her car. She is stuck in leaving him and going back to him endlessly. When I returned home at 1:30 am, I jumped on You tube to find out about how to leave your addict and codependency and stumbled upon you. I never understood why I always felt small, invisible and unworthy. Exact words I have said out loud for years. I never understood why everyone around me was sucking my soul dry, why I was afraid, alone and left feeling betrayed by the very people that were supposed to love me. I loved them. Why I gave up my own life for them. Didn't that prove it? Why didn't want to be alive and feel this pain anymore and then I had my epiphanous moment last night. This is the beginning of the road. I always felt I wasn't good enough and failed all of them around me. I failed my siblings as I watched them beaten and abused and screaming inside as a young girl, stepping in front of them as a teenager until my mother threw my clothes out onto the front lawn and forbade me to see my minor siblings. . I failed my husband and he died in 2003, acute OD of heroin, vicodin and cocaine. I failed my mother and she died in 2006, rare disease, Cortical Basal Degeneration. I failed my brother and he died in 2013, Alcoholism. I live with my disabled brother who is an alcoholic and has suicidal ideation. And I am failing my daughter and I am in constant fear of the phone call that she is gone. I have thought I was insane. I have wondered what is wrong with me. I'm defective. I did something wrong. I caused their diseases. I have cried out into the heavens at night silently begging, help me. help me. help me.

  • I watched this whole video and can relate to every word. The one thing is like to point out at the moment is them being "one up". I'm always accused of " setting him up"! Like I planned he was going to say and do things to hurt me. I'm usually sitting flabbergasted while he tells me that he is ten steps ahead of me!! So I'm thinking… Why does he feel the need to be ten steps ahead of me? I thought things were good! Realistically not so. He is the one with ulterior motives and he's obviously just projecting them onto me. Does this make sense?

  • This hits home to what I'm painfully going through right now…….I've been studying all your videos for a month straight. You are a HUGE blessing, Lisa! Thank you so much for your soul, for being on this journey with me, all of us and helping everyone heal, xo

  • Mine has smashed my stuff .. my nice things .. so I guess I get a whole new clean slate and environment .. maybe its a good thing …to have new untainted things that have new energy … makes sense .. scary beginnings .. not knowing yet how to get the hell out of this mess .. ugh ..

  • TinyDancerOne says:

    Do narcissist ever recover from their psychological  affliction ?? This stuff looks epidemic from all the videos I see and the comments … holy wow … and they are so sneaky .. nice on the outside cold hearted on the inside … holding prayer and good thoughts for all of us going through this ..

  • I am NO GOOD. Ezactly- wasted my life playing this mind game. My Mom could not bond with me and blamed me for it. BUT I think the problem was that I sub consciously knew she was feeding me poison (Cow's Milk)– Serious, strangely, I have a picture where she made me a cake with HFCS frosting and she was laughing at how it effected me. She knew it was making me sick and fed me it and laughed at me. Serious.

  • i just broke up whit my boyfriend 2 weeks ago ,afhter 5 years living whit a narcisist ,it took me years to get to make this disision,dep in my heart i know this was nnot good for me but like your story i had a horible childhoud wht mental abuse and fisicul abuse and my mom was also diferent when my dad was no around i had "2 moms" and that confuse a child one day she coud say to me "goodmorning!" and the nex day "leave me alone" no in this relation ship whit my boyfriend i feld the same till i start to read and look one you tube and everiting fits, and waht drive me grazy is that he could never listen he went one and one even if i daid "but we can also talk in peace and understanding,,even relation ship therapie did not help yes he played along for a month and then back to his old self, now that its over im the most horible woman one earth! and he shout at me one the phone, i try to explaine in a few mails how it made me feel al these years but i onley pick ONE! word out of the mail and turn it against me,, how many times he made me cry!!! now i try to get loose from him but my stomach turns and i still want anwers and to be heard, this comes also from my childhoud never be heard

  • Lisa, I love your videos. Your cover photo grabbed me.

    Your sweet voice is kind. Thank you.

    A guru in India said that people tell him: "I got married because my parents pushed me into it… (Later he hears) 'I'm in this marriage because of the kids.' ….. (Then older ones tell him) 'I'm only here married because of the grandchildren."

    He says that they are a victim their whole lives.

  • Eden Racquel says:

    how you described you wanted love from your mom like a fat kid wants cake, thats how my childhood was with my mom. And the deprevation of emotional support or conversation with her led me into drugs.. so I think the issues go hand in hand…in this video you said that those issues are different and valid for the parent to get mad at the kid, but the reason the kids are doing drugs is because they know the parents didnt love them. heroin kept me alive or i probably would have killed myself. parents can be mad about kids drug use but we are a reflection of them when we live under there roof. my mom chose to use my drug addiction to judge me and that just made me more depressed and do more drugs because she used it as an excuse to not give me love and affection, when she gave my 2 young brothers hugs and kisses in front of me.

  • Ocean_Stars_N_Moonlight says:

    Thank you for this. I tried to leave last summer. I was gone for 4 months. Then I went back and now I am thinking about leaving for good because I just can't be unauthentic to myself anymore. I hate this! 😢

  • Martin Cummins says:

    How after being an ACOA for many years and raised by violent and alcoholic parents does one identify if im co- dependant/Narcissist/A victim. Im unsure what it is i am after watching your videos. I feel like im all 3 of the above. Keep up the great informative videos. ☺

  • Nancy Willis says:

    I loved what you said about changing the art in your house!! Also eating the ice cream but I don't need any encouragement in that department … I had a wall of art in a room of my house which while each one of them was really beautiful they were also pretty much the gates of hell, actually there were two photos of Rodin's Gates of Hell that I had done some editing to and really liked them, whew!, in any event I took a look at that wall and said, "this has to change." Hmmmm.. I simply replaced the center photograph with an old nostalgic looking print of a little girl sitting on a swing looking over at stone wall into a field and in front of her there is a baby Robin on a branch – and she simply gazes at the Robin in wide eyed, innocent wonder. Yeah. That's just perfect. I still have my gates of hell and my Execution of Lady Jane Grey and photos of my own sculptures but… Inside of all of those which truly exist, let's bring back the small child, yet unscathed by the world.

  • Nina Krebbers says:

    Thank You Lisa. You are doing great work. Very inspiring to me and in helping me on my healing journey. I live alone now after 17 years with a passive/aggressive narcissist. Am also going through the "wake-up" phase with my other relationships that do not serve me. It's painful, but I, like you, am getting myself in alignment with my True Self, and will only allow healthy relationships in. Again, I'm listening and learning so much from you. God Bless! 🙂

  • My Narcissist ignored me for two weeks then came back as if nothing happened. I told him let me tell you something about me, there is no man alive whom I cannot live without , you are free to stay and also free to leave my life. I share my love with persons who appreciate it , I will not share my love with you because I am satisfied you are not worth it. He had not come back since. Be very clear.

  • Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I had a narcissistic mother and have suffered with narcissistic relationships all my life; including ones with friends. I am now 58 and have just come across the narcissistic syndrome, so am starting a path of recovery due to awareness. Thank you, again, for your valuable help. With much love xxx

  • oh.. my wife is a "narcissist".. where should i go for help? My wife and i from the very start (5 years ago) have been having issues. I'm not perfect. I certainly was lonely when i was 23-24 working a lot, i really was not thinking i was ready for a marriage or that i was headed towards one, i was certainly acting irresponsible. Anyways the first problems I encountered was when i would say or ask something and out of nowhere she would suddenly look away or be looking away and not answer like she didn't hear me.. so i would think and verify what i said and reissue it.. still nothing.. at first it was like.. huh.. so i would drop it. as those scenarios would progress there was a time when i would become confrontational about it, it eventually stopped. to this day i still don't know what it was all about but it was odd and lasted a few years. next and similar was the extra hours spent in bed, she still does it. Easily will spend 10-14 hours in bed. not all of it sleeping. usually while shes there shes got her attitude on. I've tried coax her out, bringing up, "your still in bed dear.." and then at times i would say "your still there?!?" so after going through the spectrum it appears none of it works.. As you mentioned does not make any kind of bonding with our daughter. she'll humor her from time to time, but its like you say. doesn't really see her. I don't know why i already knew and felt i needed to look her in the eyes when i spoke to her, but i do and i agree with it.. also were having problems because she does the minimalist when it comes to chores or tasks. shell do dishes sometimes and clean around the house like once the month the spectrum of our family objectives are vastly more complicated then a few menial tasks. Shes emotional and i cant criticize her properly still. its really bad.. 5 years ago the first pans we got were a set of Teflon. I told her were not supposed to use a metal utensil on them because of A,B and C… when i was told that i was like oh yeah that makes sense.. end of story.. I've had to bring it up many times to no avail. i saw it again yesterday. All advice or criticism I've ever given has resulted in the evil glare. I initially blamed myself for not saying it correctly.. well i assure you she hates anything anyone else has to say… I observed when others have given her advice or tried to correct an action.. though she wore a "mask" it was evident.

    Anyways this could turn into a long list of short falls among a complicated life. These problems I'm thinking come from some root causes. I don't completely understand it but its taking everything out of my i feel blackmailed. I just cant do it all on my own and i cant get her to do.. she always manipulates to do her minimalism. For my daughters sake please tell me your ideas on way forward even if they are just guess's. thank you.

  • At 6 and a half minutes you are talking about mom's with disdain for their children… BAM!!!… I watch my wife treat our two boys with utter disdain and only serve them notice or attention for the most basic of things… food, nappies, etc. and handle them like footballs. Her mother is just the same… like an army sergeant issuing commands without so much as a "Hi" or a smile or an acknowledgment which allows them the time to break away from what they are doing or thinking and turn their attention to her.

    Loud voice always. When she enters the room she is the center of the show… the main attraction. My youngest, from the time he could crawl and walk still follows her around the house crying for her to pick him up and cuddle him but to no avail. She gives heavy sighs and rants about him doing this and openly shows her dislike for being followed by a toddler. I could go on and on…

    I am in a hotel room typing this now. I left three days ago. I have had enough. The Hoovering is just beginning. I miss my boys. It is so damn tough… keep watching these videos… observe, don't absorb… one step at a time…

  • Neptune Goddess says:

    Love your videos. I finally found out that I am a co dependent a week ago. I moved out from my narc of a mothers' house 4 years ago. It was so extremely painful, but it was so worth it. I moved in with my best friend, I mean my covert narc best friend,who is exactly like my mother to a tee. I've always hated getting close to people,because I felt that people will always use you or hurt you. I'm starting to see now that the problem is me. I care waaay too much about other's thoughts,opinions,and views of me. Now, I'm done running from my demons. I'm done being on this emotional rollercoaster. I love your no bull shit approach to this. Your videos are giving me so much hope. Bless

  • excellent advice. I here now "Ive had enough. Everything you said is spot on. I told him to leave today and guess what he is sitting on the couch. WTF its so hard to get rid of him after 20 years of abuse. Ive lost 173 pounds like you said he has to be above. So he has started talking with women going for dinners saying "they are just friends" I have started to binge eat. I lost a whole person now I have started to eat and eat. Thank you for this. Dealing with this rather than suffocating myself with food. He needs to go.

  • Dr Lana Morrow says:

    Lisa A. Romano you are a light being and an amazing soul! Thank you so much for these priceless videos! You are helping thousands of people! I am SO very grateful to you! Love and Light! Namaste!

  • Mackenzie Hamilton says:

    I am in the middle of trying to get out of a narcissistic relationship with someone I live with. However, he has a 9 yr old daughter That I have a strong relationship with and her mother is not involved. I feel guilty leaving her as she is not mine and I can't take her with me. I falling apart inside and I don't want her to think I just walked out on her. I don't think he will let me see her if I leave either so I'm torn.

  • Your video made me cry, I never realized I was attracting the wrong people all the damn time. So many mistakes, so many problems. God bless you, your words of wisdom are healing me.

  • I need to watch this every day. I have been married for 15 years with 2 kids and have recently found out I am married to a narc. I want out. Why is my husband all of a sudden mentioning divorce? At least every other day he mutters about getting a divorce. My heart flutters at the thought that he wants out too. But I feel as if it is a trick, or some mind game. I don't know what my next step is.

  • i am having a problem my lover seems to be a psycho. .he made me to be
    single aparting from my frnds.he wants me to be single.now i wants to
    leave him but he dnt wants to leave me and making me to be in trouble.plzzz anyone give me suggestion am really suffering frm him.

  • Mieczyslaw Z. Magla says:

    i absolutely can see sam steos in my life, I got a lot of the ath when returned to foo to face and see the past and reconnect with my child, on another level i know i returned to leave and detach forever and do it for that child i was as well. There is a huge iece i found from you in this very talk about loving own self as i do it as it actually trully sucks, i left many n before with one major one – "a devil" my awakener but now it has been a LOOONG proces of removing bonds with my own foo. I consider looing up sessions with you,as i resonate and understand all you speak from my own expwriencess .

  • Thank you once again! Thank you for leading me back to myself,To where ( I can now be present for the Healing) I'm not afraid to be present in my own life anymore.And you know what it's like to be that Lost.Believe me?As I write this,I am having the Best cry of my Life! Big Warm Astral Hug! I wish I knew how to explain how much you've helped me!

  • This is weird, towards me leaving my ex npd husband, I suddenly started noticing this blackness/almost evil vibe in the house when he was present. It was so bizarre – It was literally like evil just walked in; maybe evil is the wrong word, or maybe it's the right word…

    This vid too made me recall a 'marriage counselling' session, I'd been self harming & this particular time had to go to the hospital – the nurse that later saw my bandages asked what happened, I said, I did it. I had no answer/lie ready, I was exhausted so bad & just wanted out one way or another, anyway she looked at me & said what do you mean, was it an accident – I said no, I self harm. I don't know where the voice was coming from, he was sat right there too. Anyway she brought another nurse in & she told me she has experience in this blah blah & ended up somehow being our 'marriage counsellor – Anyway she rocks up at our house for this appointment- he'd known all week what day and what time & he still strolls home half hour late & we're waiting for him. Then the punk has the audacity to say, I'm going for a haircut, I said what, are you not staying, the counsellor is here (she's in the same room as this convo) I said it's important you're here, it's marriage counselling! He started ranting I gotta get my haircut, I said you can go after it's a walk-in barbers. He's laughing at me being all jovial & like I'm making a big deal out of nothing & off he goes leaving me with the counsellor. And to cap it she said, Sonia from what I just witnessed I think you have control issues, that scenario that just played out was about you..
    I nearly lost my mind internally, I was brave enough to say, this was an appointment where we both need to be present, he goes on about this marriage being important & wanting to fix things, you come & his haircut is now more important. He could of gone anytime or after you left – how is that me controlling him.

    It was a long time later when I got in touch with a domestic violence team & I remember recanting this story to my dvla officer as she asked for many examples & scenarios – She told me then and there, you can never go into marriage counselling with an abusive partner as their reality & the truth will never match up & it usually makes things worse.. That resonated with me, I was like – Sonia you were crazy trying to have counselling with a sociopathic nutjob.. Who really is the crazy one…

    Your statement about grieving and giving yourself time to let the pain come out & learn to coexist with it instead of running is right on the money.. I really had to force myself to go through it.. It does make you stronger – Whether you want to be or not..
    Your comment about loving yourself etc, I think I'm still nurturing myself, that child that was put down/ignored & criticised & as a woman made to feel ugly & disgusting – I do what I want, I wear as much makeup as I want, I wear skinny jeans if I want, I wear high heels if I want – all the things I could never do or be or feel & I get so much pleasure from such stupid things, to me it's the difference between existing & living, I'm free. When I have low moments, struggling with work/bills/kids, anything, I remind myself, this or 'That' – what was with him & flipping try & shake myself out of it, I'm free & that contentment & freedom to just be your silly self with your daft habits & hobbies is amazing. There isn't no price on that.. Narc free is like winning the euro millions! If someone doesn't like you or makes you feel ill – remove them. It's amazing knowing I have that choice & can & will execute it.
    Love lots Lisa – Thankyou again
    These vids just validate I am on the right path, they say you shouldn't talk about narc abuse with someone that hasn't a clue, I agree with that, I did it & felt even worse, they don't get it – With your vids, they definitely give a boost. xoxoxo

  • thanks, this is exactly what my mother is like, and she seems like a monster I have to survive. She turns every one around against me and tells every one that I am the problem and that I every thing I do is wrong! And she always turns all the attention round to her, so she is in the spotlight, and her needs are of course more important than her kids. I have felt very emotional abused!!

  • 2006 I left my husband of 22 years we just grow apart bad separation he did not except me leaving , then in 2008 I meet my current partner and one year in I was on panic tablets sleeping tablets stress right out lost jobs because of him stressing me didn't know what was going as he would do the love bomb, so I seeker out natural healing therapy , and became a healer in energy healing and became a light walker , 8 years in this relationship he is a narcissist I am in counciling now to help me move out and stay away as I have left twice and came back , I thought I was going crazy and thought why do I stay here why can't I leave , I want my life back

  • Yup.They do not care.Yup. They cannot.Omg!So true. My ex-husband is a total different level of a sociopath than my boyfriend now that is very intelligent & hurtful. Idk how to get him removed in a healthy way. I am trying hard to remove him from my life.

  • My mom and grandma are narcissists. My dad probably is too but he was never home much so idk. I tried to kill myself when i was 8 for the first time. I was taught that my life only matters if i make my family happy. (I'm also transgender and i was forced to supress my true self so that i would get a bit of the love illusion from my family that i craved as a kid. When i was older, 19 or something, i couldnt take it anymore and went to a psyhologst to get hormones and stuff my mom told me that she'd rather that i killed myself than accept that she had a son and not a daughter. She also couldnt accept that i wanted to study philosophy and not medicine and she mentaly abused me for 3 years because i chose a philosophy study in college) now i'm 22. Gonna be 23 soon. And i finnaly understand that my parents never cared and i'll be moving away from them in the next 2 weeks. Just wanted to share this for anyone suicidal because of abuse: it does get better and although u still care for your parents you learn to accept that they dont and to just say "enough of this bullshit pain" and just go be happy with the people who actually care.

  • I so appreciate this video because I realize that when I ended my relationship with a narcissist 4 years ago, I did nothing. My life came to a standstill. It took everything I have to survive the pain and the chaos and fallout, that it did not occur to me to take back control of my life. I have been stuck for 4 years. I have isolated. I stopped listening to music all together. I stopped with the candles. I stopped with any beauty in my life at all. I stopped with any affection from anyone except my children. No friendships. No anything. I shut my mind down. I shut my heart down. It was such a destructive relationship and it nearly destroyed me and my relationship with my children. Instead, I built huge walls around me and there they have been for the last four years. And I mean, I locked it all up tight. No open windows, no open doors. No feelings. No emotions. That explains a lot to me about why my life looks like it does.

  • Elizabeth Jackson says:

    This video was worth taking time out of my busy day. It is as though you have watched a video of my entire life and now (in a very timely manner) I finally have a platform where I can get direction, began healing, and to gain the strength to move forward with my life. I am married to a narcissist and life has been hell from the beginning not to mention growing up with narcissistic parents with no connection. What a breath of fresh air. Thank you.

    Wonderful!!!

  • Lisa, my husband is controlling and gets angry very quickly. He doesn't forgive or forget if I do even a smallest thing wrong. He gives me silent treatment for days. He doesn't feel bad when I cry. It's miserable way of living. Your videos are helping me and I finally believe that he will never change.

  • It has been 3yrs. since I left my violent narcissist. I dont think I can ever trust another man. I have been single this whole time. I used to be out and make eye contact with people…but now I see I cant even do that anymore. I was totally heart broken.

  • Redheaded Writing Hood says:

    Oh Lisa going through the process! Living alone for the first time in my life! And speaking of art I LOVE the tree behind you! Where did you find it? My book of poetry which writing that was healing is called, The Seven Story Tree

  • AmethystDreaming says:

    This: "Maybe no body will ever love me like he does." is what he would say to me.. "Nobody will ever love you like I do" Now I think thank God for that, he was incapable of love. His other favourite shit test type phrases were: I can do whatever I want and you will still love me. You should be lucky that someone loves you at your age.

  • Oh! The therapist! Exactly. We were told to be a dry pump. They hated when I told the truth, however, when I finally did…the Truth set me free! And yes, divorcing the narcissist, sucks! But I'm doing it. Boom!

  • I can't remember ever making eye contact with my parents. I hadn't even thought about that until watching this video. Thank you for all your helpful videos, I know I'm not alone.

  • Narcs always say people that they have dated in there past were crazy. The people who have schizophrenia, bipolar etc….they do not have the Quality supply that they're looking for they are not suitable for Narcs. I am saying this from what l have experienced being around these demons.They want caring, empathetic,clear minded, hopeful, hard working, empath,codependent individuals. Narcs want Quality SUPPLY that they can drain your resources and energy day in day out than discard you.

  • Hi Cassandra my name is self
    Hi self it is nice to finally meet you…
    Can we make a connection?
    Absolutely!
    Great!
    Where would you like to start?
    Let's take a walk and enjoy nature….
    Sounds like a wonderful place to start.:)

  • The knowledge and the profound insights you share.. Is no less than life saving. My life so far has meant carrying an undeniable but undefinable pain. Feeling that acute pain and warning signals of something beeing so wrong, but not being able to pinpoint it. "It's just me".. "The bulimic, constantly anxious, over reacting, depressed, needy, negative, ADHD, neurotic".. Etc, etc…

    THANK YOU. That's not enough. Everything starts to make some sort of sense thnxh to this new knowledge. Now for the first time in my life I get a sense of compass; what direction to look to be able to begin the process of healing.
    Much love!

  • Benjamin Botello says:

    This is a great video Lisa , thank you . You are helping me right now. You are an angle to me, cas I feel I would never hear these words I feel and know.💛

  • "groomed to be a codependent"…
    oy-
    i see too much of this in me regarding being two different people in front of my son when my husband is around compared to when we are away from his father…

  • This sounds just like me I'm 24 an have 3 kids with him. im a stay at home mom an have no friends cause he has drove them all away. Everyone loves him too an they say how lucky I am 🤔. He cheats all the time lies an he is abusive also I feel stuck.. what can I do to make myself ok to leave?

  • Lisa, Thank you SO much for doing what you do here on youtube. I have watched 4 of your videos today – one right after the other – since breaking up w/ my partner of 3 yrs & finally realizing he has narcisstic tendancies. It has been SO helpful to hear your stories & your take on codependancy & narc relationships! I see now the "love-bombing of the 1st year, then the slow transition to dismissing, ignoring & devalueing, and also the many mind-games. The most important thing I see, now, is that I allowed this behavior because of my abusive childhood & lack of self. I have taken your advise & have taken many notes 😉👍 and have journaled, and although it is excruciating to be "alone again" & apart from him for a week now, because of You & your help, I am NOT going to reconcile w him & Im going to take your advise & just keep doing the next right thing for ME…minute by minute sometimes, and I know I will continue to grow stronger in my love&light and that, TRULY, I will be ok!!! Bless You💜👏👏👌and THANK YOU!!!

  • How do you tell the Narc spouse you are ending it? I'm ready but I don't want him to fight. I want to do this as cordial as possible. However he has this competitive have to win mentality but also the face of the good guy to uphold.

  • TruthDefeatsLies says:

    I just went no contact on this Friday and now in the next step my narc caused me to lose my job and I basically am left with nothing I don't have any MONEY should I just be patient and wait for GOD to help because I'm really truly devastated by what they did to me. life does suck right now very bad but I believe it get better it's just hard to face the reality but the truth of who they are will set us Free, the grieving process is almost unbearable I feel like I'm in "the hole" being punished by them why should I be left with nothing if they caused so much hurt to me???? while they are off telling more and more lies getting help and everything while I struggle to live life period I just don't get it she told me before I cut her off that she would lie on me if I cut her off, and I cut ger off so it's a chance/risk that I took I just couldn't take her abuse any longer so if she causes trouble it's basically nothing I can do she even told me verbally over the phone she wants me dead so I definitely don't TRUST her I have kids with her so my focus is to fully recover first and second get my kids back to Remove them from that evil toxic woman man it is so messed up when it doesn't have to be this way but they made this way and of course I get blamed for any and all things as usual PLEASE PRAY BLESSING'S FOR MY LIFE I NEED IT BAD

  • Thank you!!! Even though I walked away from my narcissist 3 years I had to find inner healing on my own.  I have days I try and piece together what and when it went wrong…but I knew things were going sour.  I'm free and all the videos I have viewed about Narcs it has helped me use my discernment spirit.  I had to live as he moved on to his now new no having clue love bombed victim. I love myself and am happy!!

  • Just ended a 3 year relationship with someone I had no idea was a narcissist. She completely turn my head into noodles and my nervous system got fried. I am just beginning the haling process. Thanks for your guidance.

  • It's so painful. Mine has just cheated and here I am trying not to contact HIM. Needing to know he loves me. Of course he doesn't, he cheated, but I just don't love myself enough. It's a drug.

  • This opend my eyes so much. I immediatly called for therapy after seeing this. so thank you so much. I have a long way to go. but gonna do it anyway. in a weird way I can thank the nex even. without him I wouldn't have known to look within. happy healing everyone

  • Janeen Pellicane says:

    Ty again Lisa, coming close to ending narc marriage #4..I needed to hear this again! Now that I completely understand what I've been doing for 30+years, I know I can do t right this time with your help. Ty for being my shining love light. Namaste' j

  • I started watching your videos and many others about a year ago when I first discovered what was happening to me and I was deep in a relationship with a very very emotionally cruel but amazingly slick narcissist who I had fallen deeply in love with. I knew him back in high school and he reconnected with me when he saw my name changed back to my maiden name on Facebook and immediately contacted me. I now know GE was hunting and he took me down like a wounded animal🦌. I never saw it coming and it was a night when I felt like I was loosing my mind and contemplating suicide when for some reason I turned on YouTube and I don't know why but I ended up on videos of what narcissist where and how they seem and destroy. To make my situation 10x worse is I'm a recovering drug addict ,sexuslly abused as a child, empathetic co-derpendant! I didn't have a chance in hell to survive his cruel manipulative, and cunning plan to slowly but thoroughly destroy the strong, independent and confident woman I once was. But I started listening to the videos and I was so excited for this life saving knowledge I shared it with him, thinking it would show him how much I loved him, I knew this and he admitted to a lot of the diagnosis. I now knew I was not the crazy unlovable psycho ghetto chick HE had me believing I was,. Granted I have been a businesses woman in the same profession for 27yrs and make close to 100k annually, he has a part time limo driver who now lives in a nudist camp with a bunch of meth addicts in a tent but I thought I had found all the answers, and I Even found the answers to HELP HIM, I WAS GOING TO HEAL US BOTH.!!!!. LOL! ! Yes, you guessed it, he used my new found knowledge against me and was able to convince me that he was so broken because his mom, QUEEN OF ALL NARCASISST , had made him feel so less than all his life. So eventually I stopped watching and fell right back into the game. Although there was very few happy times anymore as he knew I was 100% addicted to him and used my love against me in the cruelest ways you could ever imagine. Always looking for a younger woman to join us.. telling me when I had a hard time with my sons or work that I was always whining poor me and I eas negative and insecure and on and on… it got so bad then it got physical and he then set me up for the grand finale, which I am in the middle of now. as you can see by the time this post posts up, I'm not sleeping or eating much. THE GOOD NEWS, IS I have found my way back to all of you, the people who know my nightmare and the aftermath that comes with being abused by a narcissist for 6 yrs. I just want you to know how thankful I am for you and all the other you tube life coaches, for taking time and really caring for us that had no idea what was happening to us and now giving me the little strength I have to get up every day and have some sense and hope that I will come out of this OK… although its a very tough rollercoaster ride right now. He got me good in the end and totally off guard, moved away obviously he found a new source to feed off but denies her even after I found pills for longer erections, massage table. and pics! but it's all in my head.. I'm jealous and upsetting hinn because I don't trust him… but thevwirse part is after all this said I'm here alone feeling so worthless and discarded knowing hes lying with someone else and I can barely function let alone breath… I'm in a coma like state moving thru the days barely aware of reality but engulfed in obsessive thoughts ..as he has gone completely silent no calls no texts nothing , like I don't exist , never existed .and just when I think I might be feeling like I have a brief moment of clarity… a text comes in reply to one of my very heart filled gut wrenching texts to him filled with why's and how and I thought u really loved me and I'm broken, crushed, devastated…. and his response to the sudden end of a six year twice engaged relationship with whom I thought was my best friend and soulmate… His reply……. "OK" ……that was 2ddys ago. SO THSNK YOU FOR BEING HERE FOR ME TO BE ABLE TO PUT ON MY HEAD PHONES AND LISTEN TO THE ONLY THING THAT MAKES ANY SENSE TO ME RIGHT NOW… THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO TRULY KNOW I'M GOING THRU SOMETHING VERY REAL, VERY LIFE CHANGING AND VERY DIFFICULT TO WRAP MY HEAD AROUND AT TIMES. How I got here, why me… blah blah blah. But no time to fall apart.. between work and a teenager, dogs one abandoned by him, I only have minimal time to "feel" anything for too long . I don't want to or don't mean to throw a puty party I just wanted to get it out and put it in safe hands. GN and thanks again Lisa

  • I have to tell you that what you are saying here totally and perfectly describes my situation. I just moved out aft 7 years…..and my heart is broken. I still love him too….when we moved in together in these past two years…all hell broke loose. He became so verbally abusive, and me? I treated him like gold..on every level. I am in a different house now and so emotionally shattered from the hurt of his treatment, the loss, the whole thing….the pain is unbearable. I wish you lived near me, i would come to you for help…no one else has said the things you are saying…..

  • Victoria Semenenko Real Life Victory says:

    I had so much true luck in my life having extremely loving father😢 he passed for New 2015 Year…

  • No lie, there’s moments I have cried through this kind of relationship in the past hoping that things will be better and giving them second chances.. and I ended up having to go to therapy over it. I’m so glad I did lol… it feels like I finally got my life back.

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