Larry David: If Bernie Wins It Will Be Great For The Country, But Terrible For Me

Larry David: If Bernie Wins It Will Be Great For The Country, But Terrible For Me


>>Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY,
WE’RE BACK HERE WITH LARRY DAVID. LARRY, PLEASE HYDRATE.>>YUP.>>Stephen: I’LL– I WILL– I
WILL WAIT. I WANT TO MAKE SURE THAT
YOU’RE– ( GARGLING ).>>Stephen: PLEASE.>>YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO GARGLE.>>Stephen: ABSOLUTELY,
EXACTLY. SO TELL ME ABOUT SEASON 10 NOW. ANYTHING WE NEED TO KNOW? WE HAVE A CLIP HERE. DOES THIS NEED TO BE
CONTEXTUALIZED OR SET UP IN ANY WAY?>>NO, NOTHING NEEDS SOON SET
UP. IT SPEAKS FOR ITSELF.>>Stephen: ALL RIGHT.>>I’M A FANTASTIC DISHWASHER. DID YOU KNOW THAT? I CAN PUT MY HANDS IN BOILING,
SCALDING WATER, AND I DON’T FEEL ANYTHING. I DON’T NEED GLOVES.>>LET ME SEE THOSE HANDS.>>I’M REALLY GOOD.>>YOU’VE NEVER WASHED A DISH IN
YOUR LIFE.>>WELL, I HAVEN’T WASHED THEM
IN A WHILE–>>YOU WATCHED SOMEBODY ELSE
WASH AND SAID, “I COULD BE GOOD AT THAT.>>I KNOW I’M A GREAT
DISHWASHER!>>YOU NEVER WASHED.>>I’LL TELL YOU WHAT I’LL DO
I’LL STICK MY ( BLEEP ) HANDS RIGHT NOW–
>>YOU DON’T HAVE SPECIAL HANDS.>>I DO HAVE SPECIAL HANDS.>>DO YOU NOT HAVE SPECIAL
HANDS.>>THEY’RE VERY SPECIAL. I’LL STICK THEM UNDER ANY HOAT
WATER YOU CAN FIND.>>THAT’S INSANE!( APPLAUSE )
>>Stephen: NO SETUP. NO SETUP. I CAN SEE YOUR HANDS.>>SPECIAL HANDS.>>Stephen: CAN I SEE YOUR
HANDS? CAN I SEE YOUR HANDS.>>I HAVE SPECIAL– I HAVE
SPECIAL HANDS. I CAN STICK THEM UNDER THE
HOTTEST WATER YOU CAN FIND. I DON’T NEED TO WEAR GLOVES.>>Stephen: HERE YOU ARE,
AMERICA HAS GROWN TO LOVE YOU, AGAIN, AS– AS BERNIE SANDERS.( APPLAUSE )
BERNIE SANDERS IS MY GUEST TOMORROW NIGHT DURKS KNOW THAT?>>I HEARD THAT.>>Stephen: YOU PLAYED HIM AT
LEAST A DOZEN TIMES.>>THIS SEEMS A LITTLE
DANGEROUS. YOU COULD SPILL IT.>>Stephen: I KNOW WHAT I’M
DOING.>>ARE YOU AWARE —
>>Stephen: I’M NOT GOING TO DO ANYTHING.>>ARE YOU COMPLETELY AWARE AS
YOU’RE TALKING.>>Stephen: 100%. LOOK AT THAT.>>YEAH, GOOD.>>Stephen: NOTHING.>>I’M SLIGHTLY CONCERNED.>>Stephen: THEY DON’T GIVE
THU JOB UNLESS YOU CAN DO THAT.>>I THINK THIS IS IN A VERY
PRECARIOUS POSITION THIS CUP. WHY IS IT NOT OVER HERE WHY DO
YOU HAVE TWO CHAIRS? DO YOU HAVE TWO PEOPLE.>>Stephen: LAST NIGHT, BOBBY
CANNAVALE, AND HIS WIFE WERE ON. THEY’RE DOING “MEDEA” AT BAM.>>THAT WOULD BE GREAT.>>Stephen: I SOMETIMES DO
HAVE TWO GUESTS OVER THERE. DO YOU EVER GO ON TV SHOWS WITH
SOMEONE ELSE?>>ARE YOU NUTS.>>Stephen: BACK IN THE DAY I
THOUGHT YOU AND– SEINFELD MIGHT HAVE–
>>NO.>>Stephen: NO?>>I THINK WE HAVE A VERY GOOD
RAPPORT. YEAH.( LAUGHTER ).>>Stephen: I’M– AGAIN– THAT
SOUNDS LIKE YOU’RE TRYING TO END THE INTERVIEW.>>NO, NO, NO.>>Stephen: THAT SOUNDS LIKE
YOU’RE DRAWING A LINE GOING, “THIS HAS BEEN GOOD–”
>>HERE’S THE THING. YOU WEAR GLASSES. YOU’RE NOT BALD. I HAVE A GREAT RAPPORT WITH BALD
MEN FOR SURE.>>Stephen: YEAH.>>I DO. I LOVE BALD MEN. AND IF YOU’RE NOT BALD, WEARING
GLASS ALSO IS HELPFUL, YOU KNOW,.>>Stephen: OKAY.>>BUT HAIR AND NO GLASSES, I’M
NOT GOING TO GET ALONG WITH WELL WITH YOU.>>Stephen: IS THERE ANYTHING
YOU WOULD LIKE ME TO ASK BERNIE TOMORROW NIGHT? SO, LIKE, GET AN ANSWER FROM HIM
THAT YOU MIGHT WANT TO DO AN IMPRESSION OF LATER?>>I WOULD SAY… I WOULD BEG
HIM TO DROP OUT SO I DON’T HAVE TO KEEP FLYING IN FROM
LOS ANGELES TO DO “S.N.L..”>>Stephen: HE’S DOING VERY
WELL THIS YEAR. HE’S TIED IN IOWA. HE RAISED $36 MILLION.>>I THOUGHT WHEN HE HAD THE
HEART ATTACK THAT WOULD BE IT, I WOULDN’T HAVE TO FLY IN FROM
LOS ANGELES. HE’S INDESTRUCTIBLE. NOTHING STOPS THIS MAN.>>Stephen: RIGHT.( LAUGHTER )
>>Stephen: HAVE YOU MET HIM? HAVE YOU SPENT ANY TIME–
>>YES, I MET HIM. IF HE WINS, DO YOU KNOW WHAT
THAT WILL DO TO MY LIFE? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA? I MEAN, I–
( APPLAUSE )
( CHEERS )
♪ ♪ ♪ I MEAN, IT WILL BE– IT WILL BE
LIKE– IT WILL BE GREAT FOR THE COUNTRY, GREAT FOR THE COUNTRY. TERRIBLE FOR ME.( LAUGHTER ).>>Stephen: YEAH, YEAH. WHAT ABOUT YOU? YOU LOVE NEW YORK, RIGHT?>>YEAH! I DO, BUT I DON’T WANT TO KEEP
FLYING IN TO DO THIS. YOU KNOW, BERNIE. I LOVE NEW YORK, I’M VERY
COMFORTABLE HERE. YOU KNOW WHAT? IF I CAN’T GET A CAB, PEOPLE
STOP FOR IT ME. THEY DO. LIKE, I’LL BE ON THE STREET–
I’LL BE ON THE STROAT TRYING TO WAVE SOMEBODY DOWN. A CAR WILL STOP, “HEY, LARRY! HEY, LARRY! COME OWHERE ARE YOU GOING?”
>>Stephen: HONESTLY.>>HONEST TO GOD, I’VE DONE IT
TWICE. I’VE GOTTEN INTO STRANGERS’ CARS
TWICE. “LARRY, COME ON IN HERE!”
>>Stephen: THAT SEEMS OFF BRAND FOR YOU THAT YOU WOULD GET
INTO A STRANGER’S CAR. AREN’T YOU A GERMAPHOB?>>I WAS LATE AND I DIDN’T PEE. YOU KNOW.( APPLAUSE )
>>Stephen: I WAS GOING TO PICK THIS UP LIKE IT WAS A BOOK. “CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM” RETURNS
JANUARY 19 ON HBO. MR. LARRY DAVID, EVERYBODY! WE’LL BE RIGHT BACK.

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