Key & Peele – School Bully

Key & Peele – School Bully


[bell rings] [indistinct chatter] – [laughs]
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? WHY YOU READIN’, BITCH? – BECAUSE I LIKE TO READ,
AND THIS IS A REALLY GOOD BOOK. – YOU’RE A REALLY GOOD BITCH,
BITCH. – WHY YOU GOTTA
BOTHER ME, MAN? – BECAUSE.
[dramatic piano music] I’M NOT DOING
VERY WELL IN SCHOOL. I’M READING
AT A THIRD-GRADE LEVEL. I REALLY DON’T WANT
TO GET LEFT BACK, SO WHEN I SEE SOMEBODY
READING FOR FUN, IT MAKES ME FEEL
THAT MUCH MORE STUPID! AND THEN I GET MAD!
[music stops] – UM, I DIDN’T
KNOW THAT. I– THANKS SO MUCH
FOR OPENING UP TO ME– – SHUT UP, QUEER! – I DON’T UNDERSTAND. WHY–I MEAN,
WHY YOU GOTTA GO THERE? [piano music] – I’VE BEEN HAVING
SEXUAL FANTASIES ABOUT SOME OF
THE OTHER GUYS AT SCHOOL. – WHAT?
– GIMME THAT! I’M AFRAID OF THESE FEELINGS
AND WHAT THEY MIGHT MEAN. IT’S LIKE, BECAUSE
I HATE MYSELF SO MUCH, I GOTTA
POINT THAT HATE OUTWARD TOWARDS YOU!
[snickers] [music stops] – YOU UNDERSTAND THIS
ON SUCH A DEEP LEVEL THAT– – I DON’T UNDERSTAND [bleep]!
– WHOA! – NOW I’M GONNA
PUNISH YOU PHYSICALLY FOR ACKNOWLEDGING
MY EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS! – WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, I WAS GONNA SAY IF YOU
UNDERSTAND YOURSELF SO WELL, THEN MAYBE YOU SHOULD
TRY WORKING ON CHANGING IT. – OF COURSE
I WANT TO CHANGE IT! BUT IT’S THE ONLY
DEFENSE MECHANISM I HAVE AGAINST DEEPER, MORE TERRIFYING
PROBLEMS BURIED INSIDE OF ME! [brakes squeak] YOU’RE LUCKY MY DAD’S HERE.
[piano music] – [banging]
GET IN THE DAMN TRUCK, SON. I NEED TO TAKE YOU HOME AND BEAT
ON YOU ‘CAUSE I HATE MYSELF. AND YOU LOOK LIKE
YOUR MOTHER WHO LEFT ME. THEN I’M GONNA BLOCK OUT
THE GUILT I FEEL OVER MISTREATING YOU
WITH A RIVER OF VODKA. – I’M GONNA INTERNALIZE THAT AND UNKNOWINGLY TRANSFER IT
ONTO YOU TOMORROW. ♪ COMING RELUCTANTLY.

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