If Rappers Were News Reporters

If Rappers Were News Reporters


(unicorn galloping) (upbeat music) ♪ The world’s pretty messed up right now ♪ ♪ Let me tell you how ♪ ♪ Our politicians selling out ♪ ♪ With the nonsense that
comes out their mouth ♪ ♪ Let’s start with ♪ ♪ The heartbeat bill banning abortions ♪ ♪ These goddamn white
dudes making choices ♪ ♪ Some privileged voices ♪ ♪ Maybe a chick or two ♪ ♪ That’s why the news looking
like an episode of friends ♪ ♪ Lacking any melanin ♪ ♪ And common sense like in Alabama ♪ ♪ Say you’re pro-life but go quiet ♪ ♪ When guns go ka-blam-ah, man, ♪ ♪ Can the real president please stand up ♪ ♪ Pardon my manners,
but that ain’t a man ♪ ♪ And I ain’t a fan of his
travel bans or his fake tan ♪ ♪ In other procedural news ♪ ♪ A million people
mourn over a cathedral ♪ ♪ Notre dame is in flames
that cannot be contained ♪ ♪ And I’m informed by the media ♪ ♪ Meanwhile in Sudan people
are getting slaughtered ♪ ♪ But you can’t be bothered
by the rape of daughters ♪ ♪ Don’t see any tweets for relief ♪ ♪ Top trend right now is YouTube beef ♪ ♪ The president has declared ♪ ♪ A national emergency due to immigrants ♪ ♪ Makes no sense because
they harm us less ♪ ♪ Than our very own U.S. citizens ♪ ♪ This notion that they steal our jobs ♪ ♪ Most don’t have the
upper hand so it’s odd ♪ ♪ That you roast them like, oh my god ♪ ♪ A real fraud is a school
paid by famous moms ♪ ♪ It’s pride month let your colors fly ♪ ♪ If you’re gay, lesbian, trans or bi ♪ ♪ Ain’t no straight parade ♪ ♪ And salty straights are
asking why, hi, cause ♪ ♪ Gays get hate and fight these fights ♪ ♪ And some places I have no rights ♪ ♪ And my love is a crime and love wins ♪ ♪ But your love has won
since the beginning of time ♪ ♪ Sigh, and hear this to all
the people that are pissed ♪ ♪ My bum is on your lips,
my bum is on your lips ♪ ♪ And if I’m lucky you might
just give it a little kiss ♪ ♪ Slim shady, Marshall Mathers
out, this is politics. ♪ – I think we’re gonna have a problem here. – [Man] Drake. Drake! Drake, we’re live! ♪ I bought a new chain
so expect an icestorm ♪ ♪ My diamond ring froze up
all the snow on the floor ♪ ♪ Don’t got a shovel, ♪ ♪ Don’t knock on the
door of your neighbor ♪ ♪ Drizzy clear the roads ♪ ♪ With the salty tears of my haters ♪ ♪ Mother nature make it rain,
like rappers in a strip club ♪ ♪ Used to date her, made her younger ♪ ♪ Paid for her niptuck ♪ ♪ Now she daughter nature ♪ ♪ And you know she got some friends ♪ ♪ And you know I make it
wet, like precipitation ♪ ♪ Make it wet, make it wet ♪ ♪ I’ll make it wet for my city though ♪ ♪ Take a dry spell and
turn it into Lake Ontario ♪ ♪ It’s scary doe, it’s cold ♪ ♪ Windchill bring back my stubble ♪ ♪ About to hit a Timmy’s up,
ask them for a double double ♪ ♪ Man these heavy clouds up
here try’na ruin my day ♪ ♪ I just want the sky
blue, a ba-dee-a-ba day ♪ ♪ These haters don’t wanna see ♪ ♪ A fella without an umbrella man ♪ ♪ I’m always on their minds ♪ ♪ Like flower crowns at Coachella ♪ ♪ Yeah my team the Northside,
so we got strong wins ♪ ♪ And my girl like to blow, I
guess she got strong winds ♪ ♪ Good brains, so smart,
she got like 20 degrees ♪ ♪ She played hard to get, cold fronting ♪ ♪ I said girl please ♪ ♪ She wanna wear a mini skirt
that goes above the knees ♪ ♪ With an itty-bitty crop
top showing all that cleave ♪ ♪ And she asks me is it sunny,
I tell her only partly ♪ ♪ Don’t wear a tank top,
bring a jacket, I’m sorry ♪ ♪ Summer’s too far, it’s
still cold, my grill rattled ♪ ♪ And I oop- goddamn
groundhog saw his shadow ♪ ♪ And I drop a new single and
it goes number one mayne ♪ ♪ And these girls shake their booties ♪ ♪ And cause a hurricane fam ♪ ♪ Then I do a feature ’cause
a flash flood warning ♪ ♪ And then I double tap your pic ♪ ♪ Make you famous the next morning ♪ ♪ Man your ex, your mama, your
auntie, I double tap that ♪ ♪ Five day forecast your
girl on my lap lap ♪ ♪ Cardi, Cardi, Cardi with the news ♪ ♪ Cardi with the views ♪ ♪ Cardi with the news,
Cardi, Cardi with the news ♪ ♪ Welcome to my news
report my name is Cardi B ♪ ♪ I make offset scream ♪ ♪ Exclamation mark like I’m hosting E ♪ ♪ I bust it down to the
ground while I spill the tea ♪ ♪ And if they mad I’m throwing
shoes at them just ask TMZ ♪ ♪ Dinosaurs are not extinct,
scientists found evidence ♪ ♪ Yellow blue body parts
inside Jurassic Park ♪ ♪ Kim K had a baby,
Bieber married Hailey ♪ ♪ Archie’s dad is Harry, Jonas Brothers ♪ ♪ Man, they could get it lately ♪ ♪ K-Pop, pop, pop, pop,
everybody want K-Pop ♪ ♪ BTS and Blackpink slay, ♪ ♪ When they drop the chart the same day ♪ ♪ K-Pop, pop, pop, pop,
everyone want K-Pop ♪ ♪ The K is Kanye’s bubble so
that crazy tweeting stop ♪ ♪ New HBO queens, Zendaya not Cersei ♪ ♪ Talk to Jay in front of
B, and you get no mercy ♪ ♪ Taylor Swift and Katy,
that burger is veggie ♪ ♪ So you need to calm down,
’cause that patty got no beef ♪ ♪ Okurrr ♪ ♪ Traffic, there’s a lot
of traffic, traffic ♪ ♪ Traffic, it’s tragic tragic ♪ ♪ That 405 that ish a mess ♪ ♪ That ish more blocked
than your last ex ♪ ♪ On IG no double tap,
GPS reroute my map ♪ ♪ Swerve left, swerve right,
ain’t no officer in sight ♪ ♪ If I can I just might text
your girl at a red light ♪ ♪ Collision in the right
lane, right lane, right lane ♪ ♪ Man took a turn now he
bleedin’ out his brain ♪ ♪ Car went slip slip, slip
n’ slide, literally skrrt ♪ ♪ When you drive in the rain,
make it twerk, twerk, twerk ♪ ♪ For construction work, work ♪ ♪ Show your thongs for pylons ♪ ♪ Road got more holes than her nylons ♪ ♪ I got a camera on every block ♪ ♪ Need an aerial I got that shot ♪ ♪ In a helicopter with an ashtray ♪ ♪ That’s how I take the highway ♪ ♪ Car broke down straight ahead ♪ ♪ There go the tow
truck, there go the fed ♪ ♪ Bumper to bumper, this road is a wreck ♪ ♪ Back it up like your girl in my bed ♪ ♪ In the carpool lane
with my main thought ♪ ♪ I’m the only G on the whole block ♪ ♪ These other reporters is all talk ♪ ♪ They don’t even pass
me, on a crosswalk ♪ ♪ Parallel park behind your
chick, she hear my verse ♪ ♪ And reverse on this D- ♪ ♪ I fill my tank then fill
her purse, she an atheist ♪ ♪ But I took her to church ♪ ♪ Traffic, still a lot
of traffic, traffic ♪ ♪ Traffic, grab it,
rabbit, stab it, traffic ♪ – What’s going on, I hope
you enjoyed this video. If you did, give it a big thumbs up and shout outs to Adobe
for partnering with me, check out the behind the scenes videos that two fans made when
they visited me on set. Playlist is right over there,
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and subscribe to this channel ’cause yo, we make videos
every once in a while! One love Lily, and that
is a wrap, and zoop!

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