Gutfeld on Trump selling plastic straws

Gutfeld on Trump selling plastic straws


>>Neil: AT MOST POLITICAL CAMPAIGN SELL TECHIE T-SHIRTS AND NOBODY WANTS. WHAT DOES THE TRUMP CAMPAIGN CELL? AN ATTITUDE IN THE FORM OF RECYCLABLE PLASTIC STRAWS. SINCE THE CAMPAIGN TWEETED MAKING STRAWS GREAT AGAIN, THE FIRST BATCH OF 140,000 SOLD OUT, THAT’S 200 GRAND IN SALES. YOU CAN CALL THIS SILLY OR MEAN BUT IT’S PRETTY HILARIOUS. THE TRUMP STRAW TARGETS KEY LEGAL WEAKNESSES AND MISPLACED PRIORITIES AND POKES THEM RIGHT IN THE EYES. THAT’S MORE PROOF OF HOW LIBERALS TRY TO DISTRACT US FROM THE HARM THEY’VE DONE TO OUR CITIES, LAW ENFORCEMENT, JOB MARKETS AND OUR BORDER. MAYBE NO ONE WILL NOTICE WHAT THEY DID TO THE HUMANS OF DOWNTOWN L.A. AND OTHER DEMOCRATIC IF THEY SAVE THE TURTLE FROM A STRAW. AN ACTUAL HEADLINE SAID SOMEDAY, BUT TOLD HER SO MIKE TURTLE MAY END UP WITH THE TRUMP BRANDED STRAW AND ITS KNOWS. SO TRUMP SAW THIS ABSURD CRUSADE AS THE PERFECT OPPORTUNITY FOR THE NEW REPUBLICAN PARTY, ONE THAT FINALLY UNDERSTANDS THE POWER OF FUN AND THE MUSCLE OF MOCKERY. ALONG THE TURF, CAN TURF SOLELY OWNED BY THE SCRIPT OF THE LEFT, THE LEFT WHOSE SHRIEK LIKE NOSY NEIGHBORS ON THE RIGHT WHO ARE LAUGHING OUT LOUD. IT’S A SOGGY REPLACEMENT FOR SOMETHING THAT WORK JUST FINE. HOW FUNNY IS THAT THAT THE STRAW SOCKS? THEY EVEN SUCK AT SUCKING.>>I HAVE TO SAY THAT TRUMP MIGHT BE THE FIRST PRESIDENT — TRUMP IS THE FIRST PRESIDENT IN HISTORY TO GALVANIZE TROLLING FOR FUN AND PROFIT.>>Dana: SO THE CAMPAIGN MANAGER FOR TRUMP 2020, BRAD PARSCALE TWEETED LAST WEEK THAT HE IS SO OVER A PAPER STRAWS, ASKED TAG LIBERAL PROGRESS. THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT THEY WOULD DO TO YOU AT THE ECONOMY AS WELL, SQUEEZE IT UNTIL IT DOESN’T WORK. THEN THEY START SELLING REAL STRAWS TO RAISE TONS OF MONEY AND THIS IS THE REACTION. WHAT OTHER THINGS SHOULD THEY SELL? LAWN DARTS. I WANT EVERYONE TO LISTEN BECAUSE I WILL GIVE PRESIDENT TRUMP SOME CREDIT. I THINK HE’S GENIUS TO GET PEOPLE TO SEPARATE THEMSELVES FROM THEIR MONEY. SO FIRST WE ARE GOING TO TAKE YOUR GUNS AND NOW WE ARE GOING TO TAKE YOUR STRAWS AND THEN YOU CAN MOCK THE LIBERALS. BUT GO RIGHT AHEAD. TO ME I JUST THINK THE BIBLE SAYS WE SHOULD BE GOOD STEWARDS OF THE EARTH. BUT NOW, DON’T PAY ATTENTION TO THAT, JUST GO AHEAD AND DO WHATEVER YOU WANT.>>Jesse: WHAT WAS THE BIBLE PAINTED PRINTED ON?>>Juan: PAPER.>>Jesse: THOSE POOR TREES.>>I’M GOING TO HAVE TO AGREE, WE WILL EVENTUALLY PHASE OUT PLASTIC STRAWS AND HERE IS WHY. THEY ARE THAT IN THE TOP TEN MOST POLLUTED ITEMS ON THE WORLD’S BEACHES. THEY CLOG UP THE STREAMS AND THE WATERWAYS AND THE LAKES AND THE RIVERS AND THE OCEANS BECAUSE THEY ARE SO THIN THEY DON’T GET COLLECTED UP. SO I WANT TO BODY SURF WITHOUT STRAWS AND TAN WITHOUT STRAWS AND I KNOW YOU DO TOO. I WANT TO EAT THE FISH BEFORE THEY DIE. I WANT TO KILL THE FISH, BUT I THINK WE CAN ALL AGREE ON THIS THAT PAPER STRAWS ARE BETTER FOR THE ENVIRONMENT. AND THEY DON’T DISINTEGRATE. HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO SET UP AN ICE COFFEE? AN HOUR? YOU SIP IT AND IT’S OVER.>>THEY DON’T WORK. THEY TRY TO GIVE YOU METAL STRAWS, THEY CHIP YOUR TEETH. SO UNLESS MEDICARE FOR ALL — UNLESS MEDICARE FOR ALL –>>LET ME — LET ME TALK TO YOU ABOUT THE PRESIDENT RESPONDING.>>President Trump: I DO THINK WE HAVE BIGGER PROBLEMS IN PLASTIC STRAWS. YOU KNOW IT’S INTERESTING ABOUT PLASTIC STRAWS? SO YOU HAVE A LITTLE STRAW. BUT WHAT ABOUT THE PLATES AND THE REPRESENT EVERYTHING ELSE THAT ARE MUCH BIGGER AND THEY ARE MADE OF THE SAME MATERIAL? SO THE STRAWS ARE INTERESTING. EVERYBODY FOCUSES ON THE STRAWS BUT THERE ARE A LOT OF OTHER THINGS TO FOCUS ON BUT IT’S AN INTERESTING.>>YOU KNOW, THEY ARE PAPER. HIS HYPOCRISY ALL AROUND.>>IT IS. I LOVE THE LIBERAL LUNACY UNITY, AND THAT’S NOT JUST THE A STENCH OF SANCTIMONIOUS — WHEN YOU ARE WALKING AROUND. WHAT MIGHT BE A BIGGER PROBLEM THAN PLASTIC STRAWS? I DON’T KNOW. CIGARETTE BUTTS, BEER CANS.>>Jesse: YOU ARE TURNING INTO A LIBERAL.>>WE CAN DO IT HERE, TOO.>>YES WE ARE.>>IN THIS STRAW IS FULLY INTACT. JUST SAY, CAN’T BELIEVE. I’M GOING ON VACATION. I DON’T WANT ALL THAT JUNK ON THE BEACH. WE CAN SELL EVERYTHING. HE SAYS — OF>>Jesse: I LOVE PLASTIC.

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