Fox News Turns On John Bolton | The Daily Show

Fox News Turns On John Bolton | The Daily Show


Today was the seventh day in the impeachment trial of
President Donald Jefar Trump. And the big news is still
the bombshell dropped by John Bolton, former national security advisor
and broke-ass Monopoly man. You see, in his upcoming book,
John Bolton claims that President Trump did,
in fact, have a quid pro quo with Ukraine where he demanded
dirt on Joe Biden -and a side of fries.
-(laughter) So, John Bolton has now
thrown a wrench into Trump’s impeachment trial, which has been a major topic
of discussion amongst Trump’s most trusted
advisers– Fox News. Now, what’s interesting is
that not too long ago, John Bolton was clearly part
of the Fox family. Joining us now,
Fox News contributor, former U.S. Ambassador
to the U.N., John Bolton. Who better to bring in than
American Enterprise Institute scholar, Ambassador John Bolton. Ambassador Bolton,
always good to see you. Ambassador, good morning to you. Good evening, Ambassador.
Merry Christmas. We love seeing you
each and every day. MAN: Ambassador John Bolton
is being walked -to the studio by Steve Doocy.
-(indistinct chatter) Come on, Ambassador Bolton!
Come on! Come on! Trump wants to see
if you’re in shape. He’s watching! Mr. President-Elect,
this is what you can have. Yay! ♪ ♪ -(laughter)
-Whoa! Oh, man. If Shakira’s hips don’t lie,
then those lips… those hips are
pathological liars, because look at that.
Look at that. It looks like his legs are fused
directly to his shoulders. It’s like watching C-3P0
trying to twerk. That’s what that look likes. And you can tell, you can tell how much people at Fox cared
for John Bolton, you know? He’s like the goofy uncle
who just wants to have fun and wipe Iran off the planet. But now
that Bolton’s allegations could hurt President Trump,
Fox News has made it very clear that he is no longer invited
to the family cookout. We heard from other people, uh, closely tied
to the White House who said, “Look, John Bolton is simply
trying to sell a book, and that’s why
the timing is so delicious.” There is nothing
Bolton adds to the conversation. As for John Bolton,
well, it’s really disappointing if he ends up being
just another think-tank type trying to cash in
on his time in the White House. And the only reason anyone cares
about what Bolton has to say is because he was Trump’s national
security adviser, period. (laughter) Yeah, that’s exactly why people
want to hear from him. Her tone makes her sound right, but the words
are completely wrong. That’s like somebody saying, “The only reason anyone in the
operating room listens to you is because
you’re the head of surgery!” Yes, that’s exactly it. But it’s clearly obvious, Fox is now done with Bolton because he went
against Donald Trump. And at Fox News,
you can do a lot of things, but there’s two things
you can never do– criticize Trump
or have a regular-sized neck. (laughter) And no one is as butt-hurt over Bolton’s betrayal
as Lou Dobbs, Fox Business host,
and guy who locks his car doors when he hears black music
on the radio. The way he talks, it sounds like he’s already impeached Bolton
from his friends list. John Bolton himself
has been reduced to a tool for the radical Dems
and the deep state. He served as Romney’s
foreign policy adviser during Romney’s failed
2012 presidential run. Romney’s long had connections with foreign policy rhinos,
and they with him. Bolton one of them.
See how it works? You bet.
Not so complicated, is it? (laughter) Am I the only one who doesn’t
understand that chart? (laughter) Because according to Lou Dobbs, the Vindman brothers have
no connection to each other? (laughter) How does that work? What, when they were kids, did they only communicate
through Bolton? (laughter) It’s just like,
“Mr. Bolton, tell my brother to give my toy back.” “No, Mr. Bolton. Tell him I said
he can only have it tomorrow.” “Both of you calm down! It’s my toy.” (crying) And it’s really sad that
Lou Dobbs is so anti-Bolton now, because until a few months ago,
till a few months ago, it seemed like
he was Bolton’s number one fan. I think, uh,
anyone who knows John Bolton is celebrating, uh,
because of his, uh, his intellect, his capacity,
his experience, his talent. John Bolton is one bright,
highly-knowledgeable individual who has the interest
of this country and this president in mind
every step of the way. John Bolton served
this president well, and we thank him
for his service. I don’t think
most people realize what a respected, uh, uh, figure you are,
a respected attorney. Uh, you know, we never talk
about that, but anyway… John Bolton, a Fox News
contributor, a great American. Damn! One minute,
John Bolton is a great American, and the next,
he’s a tool for the deep state. I haven’t seen a flip like that
since bread. -(laughter)
-Yeah, think about it. For all of history,
for all of human history, we were like,
“Bread is the life force “that has sustained
human civilization for thousands of years.” Then, all of a sudden,
five years ago, we were like,
“(bleep) you, bread! I eat sandwiches
on lettuce now!” (laughter) But Fox News has put out
a clear message to every single one
of Trump’s supporters. It doesn’t matter
how much they liked you before. If you talk smack, they will turn on you faster
than John Bolton on a Fit Board.

Author:

100 thoughts on “Fox News Turns On John Bolton | The Daily Show”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *