-Jason… We need to talk… -Wait… Crowded restaurant… You’re fidgeting…. You haven’t drank your wine… Oh my god! You’re pregnant! -No! -You have cancer? -What?! -I HAVE CANCER?! -No you dumbass! I’m breaking up with you! -OH! Ohohoho thank god! Ohoh my god Wait, what?? Every Break Up Ever -I do!! I will marry you! *heavy breathing* -W-who was that? -What? … Nobody. Okay [Sad] Every Break Up Ever -It’s not you It’s me -So… You’re breaking up with yourself? -No… I’m breaking up with YOU -But you just said it wasn’t me -It’s not! It’s me -RIGHT! You’re breaking up with you [Sobbing] Every Break Up Ever -OHMYGOD It’s not what it looks like babe!! -Oh really? Because it LOOKS like you’re sleeping with another guy! -Oh… Then it’s exactly what it looks like [Ugly Sobbing] DAMMIT MICHELLE -*deep sigh* Okay WE’RE breaking up But I just wanted to let you know it’s NOT you. It’s ME -Okay pfft! *duh* But We’re still good… right? [Gross Sobbing] WE USED TO BE SO HAPPY -I can’t believe you’re breaking up with me! -Sorry man (man-zoned) I’m just not gay… -YOU’RE not GAY? -…For you -Let’s get outta here babe -Yeah [Still Sobbing] I SWEAR THIS ISN’T A REBOUND [Crying] DIDN’T EVEN SAY GOODBYE -So… While we’re not together anymore, the blame is not placed upon YOU but ME Do you get it? -I… Think so But if you’re not happy with you, don’t you think that hanging out with me, who is NOT you, would be better? – *sigh* You know what? It IS you -OH! Okay! Oh… Okay… *cough* [More Crying] I’M NEVER GONNA LOVE AGAIN -I think we should break up -Yeah, that sounds good -I feel really good about this -Yeah me too! *crunch* -So was he upset? -Oh, we’re good it was totally mutual [Gross Sobbing] *hic* Oh we’re good *hic* *gasping* it was totally mutual *sob* Every Break Up Ever Ian – Thanks for subscribing guys! Click the video on the left to check out bloopers and …this * uh… beat boxing… yeah that’s what that is* Anthony – And click the video on the right to check out “Every Cat Ever” -Needy much? Here’s my butthole! Ian- And of course, if you’re watching this on any touchscreen device, all of the links are in the description below


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