I once broke into a convent
and stole food from some nuns. Lee’s team. When did this happen? Erm, when I was hungry. Quite hungry. Erm… ..which was when I was young
and didn’t have any money. How young? 18? 19? Was it just you? Or was there
anyone else involved? A friend helped me.
And what did you steal? I stole vegetables. You stole vegetables?! Was it the 19th century? Well, because it’s nuns! Nuns grow things in gardens. Well, they do on TV
but in real life they go to Asda. LAUGHTER All nuns grow vegetables. Hang on! No, they don’t.
No, they don’t. Yes, they do. I can’t imagine a nun not
growing vegetables! If you can name a nun who doesn’t
grow vegetables, then go ahead. Trevor Nunn. LAUGHTER What I did was I… While she
distracted them at the door, I snuck round into their garden…
Which they do have! It’s not just on TV.
..and stole vegetables. Dug them up? No, you don’t dig up all vegetables.
There are some hanging. Like what? Beans, beans. You’re milking a cow now! Was there a cow there as well? Don’t worry, we’ll get some milk
while we’re at it! So you lived near this nunnery?
No, we had to drive there. LAUGHTER Why, if you were “poo-er”,
did you have a car? She had a car. Right, so… How did you get two syllables
out of “poor”? LAUGHTER You almost got more syllables than
there are letters! How far was the car journey,
Jennifer? Erm, about 40 minutes, I suppose.
You drove for 40 minutes?! That’s doing a heist!
It was a heist! It would have cost you more
in petrol than to go buy potatoes
and tomatoes. Not in 1980, no.
Petrol was quite cheap then. What do you think? Does this sound as though it
could be true? No way! LAUGHTER If you think it’s a lie,
Joe, which way…? Yeah. Yeah, I think… I think it’s a lie. I think it’s true. No! Just the one syllable? I was waiting for the rest of it! What’s it going to be? I have to go with the majority,
even though I feel it’s true. OK. They say it’s a lie. Jennifer, were you telling the truth
or were you telling a lie? I was telling the truth. STEPH GASPS And you!