Dam Internet, You Scary! Episode 1: Marvel Announcements, XXL Cyphers, and Robot Spy Sharks!

Dam Internet, You Scary! Episode 1: Marvel Announcements, XXL Cyphers, and Robot Spy Sharks!



yo what's going on everybody out there in the world my name is to hear more I'm Patrick clown and welcome to damn Internet you scare me damn Internet you scary yeah even this shit a twist you were so good and I had so many compliments lined up guys you guys have been blowing me up about the Internet is undefeated yeah and we have we have transferred over new moniker new name new settings a very very sunny so we're gonna stick to the script you can see us every Thursday's until we you know the less that changes yeah but yeah we're back same jokes same dummies yeah yeah just kick it off like that man why not we might as well jump into some of the biggest stories throughout the week Oh dress some of the rumors that I heard that first of all her the me and Pat fell out and he's throwing his own that's not true no one asked me that so I was like you know it was actually on I feel like they added you it was like when you would drop in the Patrick Lau podcast on Mondays okay they retweeted that it was like yo is the U and T it fell out then you started your own thing you know what's crazy about that people will do that way before they actually just watch and figure it out cuz the very first thing I said on the podcast was it's coming back at the end of the month to hold you guys over I'm gonna be updating you guys every week yeah it was literally the beginning of everything which is interesting I didn't know I didn't know that there could be such a divide in rumors because I didn't even he'd get a whiff of that hey man you know that and a whole lot of stuff so nothing nothing's wrong guys we just had to change the name for legal purposes and it's ours now yeah Lee can read of control ownership Nipsey Hussle yeah who else had been pushing ownership um Harriet Tubman Ice Cube he got the big three uh did he ever push ownership well he owns it he owned him and a couple other people on the big three what's big treat this like the basketball tournament like guys that used to play in a league don't play anymore oh really yeah shouts an ice cube man he's made a lot of money he actually wrote Friday and next Friday to write him a DJ pool and did they direct it to ah maybe or would have their own production company make it yeah all about the Benjamins uh-huh that was a yeah that you yeah I don't know if he wrote that one but I know he was heavily involved in it and that's what really put that in next Friday will really put Mike Epps on the map right yeah I know who he was before that hilarious I was my favorite part was always the live here you don't y'all tripping I feel I feel like that was improv and yeah Ice Cube almost lost it it was a lot of improv movies man shoutout to my cat's my cat's a man so damn buddy yeah well I wish I had a good transition into that out of it but hey Comic Con was this weekend hey I did not go I keep saying I want to go I've been to a comic-con I went last year it was fun it's a lot less nerdy than you think really I think it started for comic book nerds to have like a safe haven where they weren't like made fun over and now it kind of like it like expanded because now like you know the Walking Dead be there FX is there heavy like when I was there they were pushing the new stance of sons of anarchy the Mayans oh yeah it's like a lot of like TV stuff just anything that had like roots in comic yeah but yeah it basically they they happened this weekend and Marvel will Will Ferrell says it the best well Marvel pretty much walked in and put they dick on the table [Laughter] 16 feet long baby boy that's impressive no that's that seems like an inconvenience and everybody's deadly inconvenience you never sit down you sit on any part of that 16-foot penis this is gonna you won't feel that 16 feet you couldn't even wear jeans like young uuuuu chicks talk about all he had a big dick and all that type of stuff you see poor and some of these guys you haven't liked it's like elephants like it's uncomfortable imagine driving imagine the way they are making genius now as skinny as Jesus how would you even how would you even this is not a fun thing exact yeah there'd probably be like a lump going over your shoulder oh there's no way you can go around you family like Indiana Jones's wrote Danny Paquette no airports no family amusement points not a tear family just sitting in our house arrest with that all you can do is smash you're all I'm thinking it's a finally uh punishment from the government yeah we're doing the you know it's the first episode we've going through the glitches right but I think that the coolest thing about the Marvel announcements was that they pretty much announced the entire new phase yeah because the last phase ended like a motherfucker man still grieving over that where do you even go from there so the next five films mm-hmm are going pretty much really deep into comics like I don't really even know what some of these things are but the first one is going to be Black Widow it makes sense it's the easiest one to do mm-hmm she's already been introduced on so many levels right to the audience they can they can cut prices down like cost down on CG because it's just niggas fighting and game had to be expensive like I would for sure do a black widow budgetary wise yeah interest wise I'll see it yeah I'll see it I see it just because I trust the franchise like I didn't know what to expect with Doctor Strange or guardians of the galaxy and they both superseded my expectations so I tracked franchise to make good decisions when it comes to script but there was still like a very like superhero element to those two movies this is this could be just like a spy movie – which is cool what's cool I mean yeah yeah exactly that's my favorite small for you know and I again I trust them too to get the script right to make sure that we like it she's finding a vein yeah yeah I mean she writes for Joe yeah ScarJo oh no I know her name I've never heard that she was all good in my book it's as you said there were love day like she could play any but she was she'll be able to play any roles like you put on blackface if you want to what happened she says she meant about like yeah actors she should be able to play any role or any race yeah I get what she's saying race yeah I get what she said she was very very white but yeah it's enough black actors that aren't working that if there's a black role they should just hire a black person I think any role maybe I don't think actors should be walking around here thinking I can play any race that's exactly why you know what the movie was the gods of wars of they're the one where had a what's the got to play Batman Oh Christian Bale yeah Christian Bale that movie wasn't God's Award was like God's of Egypt or something like that with a friend idiot prison no it was a princess that was the Disney movie I was Jake Gyllenhaal huh yeah yeah we were they it was like I guess a monster movie and Egypt back in the old times that he was in it but all the people that got to play Egyptians were white yep and then movie tanked oh of course yeah I don't get why they don't just go to Egypt and get higher Egyptians it's so much easier was it um The Last Samurai or something like that or with a [Laughter] comedian who had the joke that was it was like I'm gonna make a movie called the last nigga on earth starring Tom Hanks I think was Paul Mooney and then there's like those that whole line of horror movies like the ring and the grudge where it's like it takes place in Japan but we're following a white woman who just got transferred there like this just couldn't be it you couldn't just have a Japanese movie like just the villains just the villain it's the villain they get to play the actual white extras dressed as Japanese people in the background like you guys are caught out of here they don't know that you gotta pay your choreographer just trash trash dialect Niehaus like you you white man you white man even with the mid did you see that one when Jason Statham in a big shark uh I hated the way the oppositely talked an Ellen it was like kind of choppy it was agent yeah but it was like it was you could tell that she had had to change it for English ears okay understand us to be ourselves out here Wow but I speak it back into Hollywood Black Widow you know I'll watch it I don't know what the Eternals are but I'll check it out Nazmul you know yeah the posters are always live is better than I was the biggest disappointment I hated how he looked like this and that's why I'm like um what was the other one where they came together he was a will it made Danny ran to be the Sophos character in MCU I'm just not a fan of it at all man Manso and then there's shang-chi the legend of ten rings I'm sure it's gonna star some white dude this is gonna be Marvel's first oh the Mandarin yeah yeah it's gonna be the first Asian hero so shout out to Marvel for doing what you supposed to do shout out to Asia Doctor Strange multiverse of madness this is probably the most exciting I cannot wait man I'm actually more excited for this than any any of the other ones just the first one was so visually pleasing right it was just my eyes well orgasming the whole time and now we got like Rick and Morty multiverse style of like you know yeah universes and stuff like this is probably gonna be an acid trip this real this and probably the next one my body my most anticipated door oh actually not the female for know you're not a fan No all for that the franchise I just I have something more on this list than I'm looking forward to Thor's were I like Thor like I like Hulk I like him as a Avenger yeah the ones by himself don't really stick out to me and this would I think they did alright Ragnarok was cool yeah Ragnarok was good I like I like funny Hulk that's pretty cool I don't know how I feel about the love and thunder yeah that that sounds like a music yeah I was about to say bass musical they better not they better not they already tried that shit with spider-man and I was oh my god I was not having it so this was actually pretty cool I think I believe this is a TV show and it's the Falcon in the Winter Soldier and this is actually the first one where the Falcon is Captain America yeah I think I saw something about this I think this was gonna be on Disney Channel I believe so yeah you know Disney is pulling for all your necklace Disney Plus subscribers out that Disney is pulling all of their content off of Netflix 2020 mm-hmm so you could only get it through their only stream is like dad Disney Plus here's the part that's don't suck about this the whole purpose for streaming Netflix Hulu it all today is to avoid paying cable if you have to download and pay a subscription for Disney for Paramount you back up the cable prices BBC bad now you're paying $70 and streaming fees please make a video about that that is crazy it's the whole reason I came back to ya that's why I gotta get HBO you know unless say unless Hulu or Netflix comes out with a movie package for HBO Hulu and Cinemax then you gotta pay each one of those subscriptions separately that's 30 by itself for you Paul will fit power fans they gonna think about stars that's stars I meant to actually give me stars instead of Cinemax saying yeah what's on Cinemax I don't know I'm not gonna show however like the whole purpose of the streaming was to like sidestep the middleman and go directly to the content now the direct content is all charged messes like family I'm just gonna watch me yeah yeah just watch your own Instagram I'm gonna remake every movie that I like and play all the characters say screw it I'm thinking of a Marvel movies immediately it's like you throw the chute and you're the bad guy I just want that shot of all of them landing I was that's that's crazy if you really like stack up all the streaming service prizes you're not really saving no money and not only that if you have all of those streaming services and let's say you have a family of five right you're going to need a faster bandwidth to keep up with all the distri mning so now not only is your price of subscriptions gonna go up your internet has to go up because the whole family broke like if you've been paying like I think we pay you like $60 for internet service and then we got Hulu and Netflix these are hundreds of dollars so now we're like a hundred dollars right still cheaper than cable but we had a hundred dollars what's a month my boy that's crazy I never paid for cable because as soon as I went to college I was like now that's reliable and Internet that comes out to like 149 okay so thanks yeah you might have just cracked their whole scheme there they cheated because not only is Disney coming out with that but like I heard that the the movie production houses are coming out like paramount it's gonna have the Fox is gonna have that one string and MGM is gonna have this everything's moving everybody it's moving to streaming which is still good because like now you have the whole catalog movies that you've been looking for like there are certain rules I can only find on DVDs like identity I love that movie with John Cusack yeah but I have to order the DVD because I couldn't find it all in Industry Insights so that's gonna be great for like the movie studios but it's gonna be so expensive from unless like they package it together to like you can get these three for this amount is three for that amount then that's cool and then we're back to cable come together be formal grouping everybody share that password is the log is we could just swap it out we can make that – these are all good plans these – uh this is why I've never robbed the bankers I always thought it through I'm like man if I rob a bank right let's say I robbed a bank was but three four people right we may go to make away with a million dollars all right so that's $150,000 piece all right if we will work a regular jobs there's no way we could just pop out what a Lamborghini are you just talking about the for the government and IRS yeah all of that and just public I like it it looks suspicious if you just pop out with a rate for something like that unless you only got $250,000 which you actually don't really have because if you got $250,000 let's you shoot it to an island that has no extradition you can't spend their money because the serial calls on a bill so now you need somebody to watch that money you really did it this part of the force so there's gonna be 70,000 dollars at least to watch these bills so now you dare from $250,000 to 180 thousand dollars one hundred eighty thousand dollars that's not gonna last you a lifetime I'm not going to do $180,000 this is I think it'd have really thought out if you if there's a million dollars in cash in the main swishes usually isn't unless you robbing a bank of America which are usually big and then not close to highway so you're not gonna get on the highway and if you do get on the highway you're not gonna do it in LA because that's you pop hilarious how you fit in traffic you can't run on the highway and you can't run downtown LA like you can't do it it's just too many ways to miss bad traffic you say sure this is very thought-out you do not mean niggas would not be in jail if they just thought about how these friends like me I'm still stuck on the fact that you knew that washing money was 70 grand well I mean I'm sure is maybe less than if you have a rapport with the person the door it's your first time they know that you ain't you don't know you don't know what the going rate for watching money is $250,000 so what you gonna do they said hey it ain't like you can just shop the market right yo right good money washer in downtown [Laughter] bring all the money we'll do it for a discount bargain that you hear on the news FBI seized $200,000 [Laughter] that is crazy yes I don't know don't don't go to crime y'all just think use that use that thinking on a legal way to make it happen or who'd like some narco stuff where you were like balanced out crime and regular but back to Marvel I was kind of like I was kind of hoping that the Falcon would get like you know black Captain America would get his own movie mmm but I feel like once the MCU came to that the executives looked at each other like yeah right yeah we already gave them what onda guey plus to make that like Captain America is America's hero they came never make him black yet that would be like ease into it yeah because remember the Negro leads the Negro League of baseball was more successful than really amazing oh yeah because playing baseball and the baseball is America's pastime so it was like oh we got it in this shit so what they do start started integrating blacks into Major League Baseball and that's sort of taken away from the need to go see either Negro League so they're just like alright you guys could come wow this is a dirty ass country bro hey man I just knowledge the fact that it founded on some dirt like the way it was found was dirty like though it was just all downhill from the beginning what was game over hi India Native Americans like not a saint is like not that's it is it nah this is India now you guys are Indians we're not we're not Indians at home and we're actually Native America down I must make note of the three ships that I failed on because this will be important it's already done it's already done they're already teaching it in history class so um just to get out of the Marvel Universe you know they announced Hawkeye they announced Loki a series called what if yeah but probably the biggest one was they brought out your boy blade now it was not Wesley it is uh Maher Charla Michael her shot her Shella Ali shout out to him a great actor he's good he was in house of hearts I never saw that he was in the green book okay he was in one of the predator movies really yeah yeah yeah it was the one with forgot who else was in there but yeah it wasn't it was the better predators my babies in one of those right there but yeah it was it was cool oh it was in a predator we know I miss I'm messing with it and I guess people are upset that it's not Wesley Snipes he actually went online and said people should chillax yeah that's how you know the cream of the crop when it came to martial arts in a black community yeah however you got to give other actors of tears when I appreciate Wesley for chiming in and saying that because marks my I think it's gonna be really good in this role right now yeah rewatched blade since that happened Wesley was with the ships it was not on some like alright let's have you this actor do a martial arts movie like he was a martial scenes was legit that opening scene with the bloody vampires I am here for it I'm here for all that man shout out to him I cannot wait to see there's somebody I was reading something he's like he just called it was like yeah I'm gonna do blade there's like oh cool like I'm not I'm sure he didn't go that easy but I'm sure like the right people heard that he was interested in him it was like yeah why not now's a good time mm-hmm cuz we've been waiting on blade to come back Graham blade was like one of the first black superheroes that we had yeah he was dope he was a daywalker Wesley Loki started the Marvel Universe oh and he made blade with his own production company hey man I was just talking to will and Cleo about this apparently he bought he was looking through the comics mm-hm and he found blade he bought it for only 5 mil for the rights cuz they were just like yeah sure but what they did it'll work nobody read blade like that so but what they didn't know was that blade if you went deep into it it crossed with a lot of superheroes that we knew so it was it opened the whole universe this is going current and they didn't even give that nigga a toy damn they're late noise there was no blade official blade toys I kind of did them today that's it's kind of wild how they did him but then the the whole universe was started by a black man so okay and I know that I think about I can't remember any blade toys that sounds like they gave them then they never they okay so I think they gave him a Marvel Legends toy because once it started popping there was like this legends and they uh they kind of like through it was like a group toy thing yeah so they gave him a blade toy in there but they never gave him like an official series for the movie like every other one has how they've been doing it cool I think the other big thing that is on everybody's a list or on everybody's timeline is this double XL cipher Oh so the first one came out and it was low mozi mm-hmm Megna stallion yeah why K Osiris he sound like an Egyptian Billy and then the baby hey baby baby baby baby um baby now let me tell you this I've been a fan of the baby because he beats people up did you see him knock somebody out during his performance on beat yeah yeah oh yeah it was like literally after beat drop and he kept rapping yeah that's why I was like first of all he's figured the baby is a walking black Air Force one you ever heard of black Air Force one energy basically you got it's a whole thing online they basically say anybody who still wears black Air Forces would rob they own mama like it's like that black Air Force energy is just like the worst type of dude just the worst type of goon just goon okay he is like literally a black Air Force that can rap I always liked it because gangster he is and then his videos are like crazy goofy yeah it'd be like that sugar almost bodysuit yeah fresh pretty and he just his latest one hash he's like a fresh print yeah remake and then he did like a bit of one called babysitter so he's hilarious so I've kind of just been following his singles but nigga this cipher made me download every year I've been a fan of higher says I'm gonna say last year when I got hit from Doughboy don't work with me it was one of you it was freestyling at the time I think was sure yeah but the Apple wasn't anywhere aside I didn't know it all you signed I saw all I was download was mix a bit we went crazy his flow is just like when do you breathe yeah I don't he rapped for like 30 minutes of the in the cypher and then meanwhile Lomo Z + y.k Osiris were in the back looking shit that was dumb you got a pair be within another that's what I would be like I would be I would literally I wouldn't even wait for the video to be gone I'll call my manager like me you fired fired why don't you put me with the the weird-looking dude like do the work yeah but I mean if you listen to little Moe like no shade if he listen to little mozi like that that could have been his preparation that could have been before baby he goes like good and she were fit it was like you for sure wrote that to a different key that was nothing right no he was modeling I would have asked for a redo yeah he probably did that's probably what did we did that was the redo yeah cyber we never said we went a couple times and make sure we got it right so they gave him a chance to get it right that's what he was like nah you think you think they get that absolutely absolutely because I read something like some people were doing anyone takes I think I don't know why lazier sometimes you but they was like something bad they keep doing it over to keep doing it over and keeping the one in over all right I remember the cypher with a chances class yeah that must have been rough if you weren't like a spitter whoo that much I think Anderson Park was in there too was Kendrick in there no I can do okay so no I couldn't because Anderson came my way at the candidate I would have liked to be in the little z21 savage one because none of them cared they're all having fun none of them is Dalia – she came with Meg will angrily spit about riding your penis into your lies when you smash it make the stallion you're like hilarious all right well in the spirit of you know bringing the show back yeah we're gonna give you guys a lot of a bite-sized episodes I know you guys are used to hour hour and thirty but we want to you know crank these out make sure that we're consistent for you guys so we're actually going to jump right into the conspiracy corner I'm trying to be like sugar free like the beat was birthday yeah PhD in hip-hop but this might be this might be my favorite conspiracy so far all right I was saving it for the comeback roba spy sharks in Israel mm-hmm okay so apparently Israel is has a bunch of animal conspiracy theories because they were actually caught with spy using vultures as spies Griffin's bee-eaters which is like little hummingbirds but they literally have like a whole team of people in their government that uh that like use animals for like warfare hmm and just like random stuff so the thing about this is that they're being accused of releasing robot sharks into the waters of Egypt to lower their because you know they're beefing with Egypt and it seems ridiculous but then I kind of did some diving because they want to help and want to hurt the tourism always no pun intended and I missed that I wanted to do something but that yeah that they're trying to ruin tourism which you know tourism is a huge part of Egypt oh yeah just you know other countries in general so it sounds ridiculous until you really like learn to learn about it so apparently these these shark there's been a bunch of shark attacks in places that typically aren't like don't have sharks in them and they basically said that the most recent shark attack was in June 2016 and spy sharks were delivered by shadowy internal organizations in a suitcase so security forces basically so how big well I'll show you the I guess they're that's a great question I just picture a novelty huge I don't think these are like big great whites you know a little bit well I think for the most part its to scare cuz like that's the cool thing about this conspiracy is that sharks are just such a terrifying animal mmm-hmm that even if you just saw the fin everyone's out to water okay nobody messes through that no one messes with that so you could really have anything secret in the water that's being patrolled by these things so get this security forces tracked the fishing boat crew delivering a black suitcase from a giant boat that had international marks on it and it was discovered that not one not one or two but three sharks were in the black suitcase and they were basically seen opening the suitcase and releasing these sharks into the water and these what these sharks are known as secret agents right so it's been pretty much of tacking tourism tourism declined by 51 percent and it's kind of crazy because the beef between Israel and Egypt had sort of like boundaries hmm and once the the boundaries changes the sharp locations moved to mm-hmm which is another weird thing so it says there's been 39 recorded shark attacks in Egypt since 1827 and basically all of them are related to trained shark warriors so it says the war between Egypt and Israel were also the year sharks were first trained to attack the Egyptian shores and once the foreign policy policies changed it says that all of them almost all the recorded shark attacks on Egypt's coast took place in the Mediterranean Sea but after 1973 they all took place in the Red Sea along the border with Israel so it kind of like shifted and you know Israel is known for having spy animals ducks sharks all this kind of stuff but if you look at it I actually found uh some some so it sounds ridiculous right yeah so this is a shark toy that's eight eighty dollars and is found in toy stores right so obviously it looks like a robot right and it kind of like you know swims like a robot all I'll show you a quick video short so this is available for us so they were just like okay that's cute but what would the government have right right so then this photo surface is and they're like okay it's just a guy in a real shark wrong this is now check this out this is a robot shark what and it looks crazy real it really does i watch this like a couple times and i was just like okay what's what's so crazy about it but then if you keep watching you see a little cord oh my god is it that nuts can you imagine what the government can be doing with stuff like this you don't want really upset with like because my thought is somebody has to be able to control this so if they're controlling this they're like their father like thousands of feet away or no remote location controlling and there's a remote control sharp but I lose fucking service on Verizon in the Hollywood Hills ha how is this even possible government fuck that man I'm sick of this shit I can't get fucking three bars in the Hollywood Hills but these niggas this controllers talk to have well throughout the world ticket is shit man somebody got screw up this the bullshit I be talkin about I gotta pay $170 a month for unlimited everything on his family plan and my shit don't even work all the time but we could man the governments could be spying on us with animals and you just worried about Verizon how these bars and tourism Verizon get your boy man listen some bars up the shark spy guy excellent Wi-Fi especially like I don't know how a deep they could go but like signs man Mossad trained sharks are in these waters swim pit swim at your own risk that's like making it official damn near but did you see you know that's long ago there was a report about this dolphin going up to one of these uh these sea life boats his name was cleaning the water hall and the dolphin had like a camera on it and all the rest is riding on it so they were trying to Train dolphins it might have been beluga whales this is a new like the whole training animal thing but the robot stuff that emulates the the real ones that's crazy robot ones is where I draw the line I get it like you have a lot of underwater base or like a Navy base and you just have some of the animals just like as what does that call it just surveillance yeah that's one thing it's still a little weird but just a straight-up roboshark keeping people out of the water for like political reasons and you got like unmarked boats with secret agents on opening brief cases in throw and robo sharks like I don't see the fascination with humans really pushing this any I like mag didn't y'all see every movie did you see this but it never is remember terminated you want Genesis you won't stop all AI they I Robot what is that uh what is the college out there Boston College Boston robotics mmm always concentrated they had the one with it was shooting that bad thing and kicking them down I saw about your push-ups yeah he were not muscles that's what artificial intelligence does they learn from situations so the first week he's learning the wrong second week learning to run now he's running if you pushing them so now I'm on fourth week he knows to avoid their push fifth week he gonna be he gonna be running the White House I hate it cuz I plan too much that's so scary yeah I hate it got the guy from control level didn't just hit the power button bitch he know you won't hit the power button that's why he put a battery in his back right you over here pressing off and you look up he's smiling I'm not trippin too much about the robot sharks cuz I mean I'm still afraid of regular sharks so I won't be in the ocean like to have births I'm to give him all birds beside I now man I mean ain't the same tomorrow I think it's like why not use animals that nobody would suspect anything like a rabbit like learn I'm a trained they're rather a vulture if I see a vulture just so well I'll never trust a vulture because they're always up to no good they eat did sit they'll eat another vulture shit they just waiting for you to die walk around like I'm s use the vultures like I'd already don't trust that right I've got seen motorcycle rocks at them immediately I'm a bad kid damn you threw rocks at a vulture oh yeah but I'm not a good Thor didn't even move this here right right past he's just like damn rocks but hey let us let us notice this creep you out how do you guys feel about animal animals being involved in our shit like why don't you know I mean like we try you try to evolve we involved everybody in our shit like I man we just can't leave nothing alone so I mean does it freak you out you guys freaked out by these robot sharks these these BRR with cameras you know I mean like what's what's next I don't like it what is next kids he's gonna have robot kids I had to like their loss so they can be in a police station recording everything that's probably the creepiest one so far yeah I mean oh yeah he's like where's my [Laughter] horrible robot but hey that has been the first official episode of damn Internet you scary we're so glad to be back come on hey we good is this from this is this him yeah but we back we will see you guys next week bye yes sir

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