Can you “look” gay? | Live At The Apollo – BBC

Can you “look” gay? | Live At The Apollo – BBC

I moved back in with my parents
about a year ago cos I got out of a relationship. Well, you don’t really
move back into your parents’ for a good reason, do you? It’s not like,
“Oh, I got a promotion at work, “so I thought Mummy and Daddy
could do with some company.” It’s usually… It’s either emotional issues
or financial issues. My dad called mine
“the double whammy”. And as soon as
in with them, I thought, “I’ve got to start dating
again. I need an out plan.” On my first date back,
I was terrified, right? And it didn’t help, right,
that the guy was a bit weird. Oh, yeah, “guy”. I’m a gay person. Key change! Here we go, sisters! That’s right, I’m a sodomite! Nothing more scary than
a Glaswegian gay man. “I’m gonnae bum you!” Sorry, mate. Are you a heterosexual? Yeah, a nod of the head there.
“Yes, I love the vulva.” I don’t know why I had to change
my voice for that. “Yes, I love the vulva.” “Larry Dean, BBC News,
I’m very gay.” This is my favourite bit of any gig,
man, I love this bit, it’s so much fun cos I’m just
looking at all the straight men in the room looking at me going,
“Hold on, he’s gay. “He doesn’t look gay. “I don’t look gay. “Maybe I’m gay.” Sorry. I’ve never… Actually, to be honest,
I don’t even like the word “gay”. I’m not a fan of the word “gay”. Cos the word “gay” gets used quite
derogatory sometimes. People are like, “Oh, that’s gay.
I don’t like that. That’s gay.” In Scotland, we don’t even
need to use that word. In Scotland, we can describe
somebody as a homosexual by using any noun
in the English language. Like, “What?
Is he a blueberry, aye?” “Aw, see that guy,
I’ve heard he’s a lava lamp.” I found this out when I was having
an argument with my dad, right? Cos I could see my dad wanted
to call me “a big jessie”, but I could see him thinking, “I don’t know if that’s
homophobic now, actually.” So my dad went,
“Ah, get lost, you big… “..duvet!”


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