Bridesmaids: Annie and the Perks of Rock Bottom

Bridesmaids: Annie and the Perks of Rock Bottom

“And I have been thinking, honey,
maybe this is your bottom.” Bridesmaids is a story
about what it means to hit bottom. We usually only hear about drug and alcohol addicts
hitting their bottom, but Annie Walker proves this is something we all do
at some point in our lives. “I can’t get off the couch. I got fired from my job. I got kicked out of my apartment.” Because we are all addicts,
in one way or another. “We’re all addicts, Fiona,
just trying to fill a void. Some of us are just
better at hiding it.” As Annie sabotages her life and her best friend’s
wedding festivities, she feels powerless to stop
the cycle of self-destruction that springs from an inner void
she doesn’t understand. “Please, I’m just — I don’t know
what’s going on with me right now.” But after she reaches her lowest point,
she at last turns her life around. And there’s a deeply inspiring
message in this film that director Paul Feig termed
a “nervous-breakdown movie.” You can make the choice
to break your toxic habits and fight for your happiness. “You have got to fight back on life.” “Megan!” “You better learn to fight.” “Megan!” “I’m life, and I’m
going to bite you in the ass!” “Ow!” Here’s our take on
how Annie teaches us to embrace the gift
of arriving at rock bottom. “‘Cause you’re your problem, Annie. And you’re also your solution.” This video is brought
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below to sign up now! Annie is a portrait of an addict. She may not be struggling
with substance abuse, but she’s watching her life
spin out of control due to a pattern of compulsive,
self-destructive behavior. Look at how she acts:
she makes messy public scenes, [Screams] “Let’s have some nice,
hot, unsanitary chocolate!” she doesn’t take responsibility for her
actions, but pins the blame on others, “It’s all HER fault! It is NOT mine!” she refuses to acknowledge
that she has a problem, “Lil, I’m fine.” “No, you’re not fine. You’re not fine, Annie.” and she resists help (because she doesn’t want
to give up her addiction.) “I don’t need you to fix me, or…” “To fix you?” “I don’t need any help.” What, then, is Annie addicted to? Essentially, to feeling bad
about herself. Lillian diagnoses this
near the start when talking about Annie’s casual relationship
with the worst guy ever, Ted. “You hate yourself after
you see him, every time. And then we go through this,
and then you feel like shit, and it’s almost like you’re doing it,
because you feel bad about yourself.” Annie keeps going back
to the proverbial bottle — which in her case
is a man who insults her and shows a cavalier
disregard for her feelings. “Wow, this is so awkward. I really want you to leave, but I don’t know how to say it
without sounding like a dick.” “Oh…” Later, when she meets someone
who is caring and genuinely interested, she pushes him away. “He was really sweet
and nice and cute. So, naturally, I ran out as fast
as I could. What’s wrong with me?” So, at this point, Annie
doesn’t want to feel better. She revels in her problems,
because they confirm her low self-esteem is warranted. “I can’t pay any of my bills. My car is a piece of shit. Uh, I don’t have any friends.” As we talked about,
her antagonist Helen is the superficial image of
the ideal woman, specifically designed
to make Annie feel bad. “It’s unique, it’s special,
it’s couture, it’s made in France.” “Helen, this is $800.” “Are you kidding? It’s on sale.” But the reason Helen gets
so deep under her skin is that Annie wants to indulge
her feelings of inadequacy. When she spars with a young
customer at the jewelry store, she seems to intentionally
provoke the girl into saying the worst about her. “Well, you’re an old, single loser
who’s NEVER going to have any friends.” And we gather from Annie’s
extreme reaction to this dig “You’re a little c-[BLEEP].” that the girl has hit on exactly
the negative self-talk that’s always going on
in Annie’s head, as she compares herself
to the Helens of the world. “Maybe she’ll find a new best friend. And maybe she will be
more successful than you are, and prettier and richer and skinnier.” The movie cleverly plants this theme
of the universal inner addict through Annie’s mom. “I signed up to speak at AA tonight.” “I keep telling you, you’re not
supposed to go to those things. You’re not an alcoholic.” There’s a deeper point in her comment: “Only because I’ve never had a drink.” On some level, all of us contain
the potential for addictive behavior. Annie’s mom feels she
benefits from AA meetings because they manage her tendency
to spiral into obsessive thinking. “I go to those meetings
because I can obsess.” Annie’s addiction to feeling bad is
encapsulated in her refusal to do the thing that she loves — baking. “But you are so good at it.” “Oh, well. Let’s change the subject. No more baking.” Significantly, right after she meets
this guy, who likes the real her, we see her inspired to bake
for the first time in the film — like his presence reminds
her of her true passion. But facing this exceptional
talent, which she’s wasting, just makes Annie feel down. The scars left by her failed bakery and the boyfriend, who left her
as a result, are still raw. “He was my boyfriend,
and then he left… me when the business went under.” And she’s not ready to re-open to this positive and powerful source
of happiness within her. Not doing what she loves is
a self-imposed punishment — it’s as if her defeatist
thinking has convinced her she doesn’t deserve to bake anymore. “You know what you should be doing? Setting up a new bakery!” “No, I’m kind of done with that.” “What?” “I don’t do it anymore” Significantly, it’s when Rhodes
actively tries to enable her to bake, “I popped out, and I got a few little
baking bits and pieces. Butter, milk. Because I thought that it would be fun
for us to bake together today.” that she turns on him. “I don’t know what you are
getting so upset about.” “Because you don’t know me.” She’s not just rejecting him —
she’s rejecting herself. She prefers a man who will also
reject her and prove her unworthiness. “You know what, it’s
getting really late. You should probably go. I’m going to miss you so much.” If Annie’s addiction is unhappiness,
her biggest hurdle is that she’s seeing only negatives. “You’re just focusing
on this little bad thing as if it were the end of the world. You have to stop that.” When you’re suffering, there
can be a perverse satisfaction in wallowing in self-pity
or self-loathing. “You know, I go on. You have to go on,
you know? And I don’t see that — I see mopey girl. I see sad girl.” As bad as Annie’s life may seem,
there are good things in it — like her supportive mom and a best friend
who thinks the world of her. “Yay, Annie!” These are not insignificant blessings. As we come to see, Helen,
who appears to have it all, is actually envious of Annie. [Cries] “I don’t have
any female friends.” But Annie always chooses
to overlook silver linings and fixate on the dark cloud. “Here’s a friend standing directly
in front of you, trying to talk to you. And you choose to talk about the fact
that you don’t have any friends.” She projects her unhappiness
onto the external world, seeing anything good as
immediately suspect or temporary. “You guys love each other, huh?” “Yeah!” “Aw, that’s sweet. That will go away.” “I want to get her a necklace
that says, ‘Best Friends Forever.’” “‘Forever’?” “Forever.” “I don’t think you guys will be
best friends forever, no offense.” And she puts up walls against things
that could improve her life. “I know how guys act. One minute, it means something. The next minute, it doesn’t.” “Well, right, yeah, you’ve
got it all figured out.” “Yeah!” From the outside,
this is easy to see — but Annie is blind to these
patterns… until she hits bottom. The idea that you need
to reach your lowest point before starting recovery
is a key part of the Alcoholics Anonymous ethos. “I’m telling you, hitting
bottom is a good thing, because there’s nowhere to go but up.” The book “12 Steps and 12 Traditions”
argues, “few people will sincerely try to practice the A.A. program
unless they have hit bottom.” In both addiction and matters
of personal happiness, so often we do have to be
pushed to a breaking point before we get honest
about our inner demons. Annie talks about hitting her bottom
at the point after she’s rejected Rhodes, “Since you’re not returning
any of my calls, I assume that you’re not interested in spending
any more time with me, which is fine. So don’t worry, I won’t be
bothering you ever again. is fired from her job,
kicked out of her apartment “We’d like to invite you to
no longer live with us any more.” and returns to live with her mom. “Remember when you thought
I hit bottom? That wasn’t bottom.” But even then, she’s
not quite there yet. There’s still her public meltdown
at the shower at Helen’s house. “Oh, delicious! Stupid cookie!” “And if you are going
to act like this, then don’t even bother
coming to my wedding!” This is the real bottom — truly
being faced with the loss of the friend who’s always been
the best thing in her life. The irony is that (even though
this is Annie’s greatest fear) she’s also been unconsciously pushing
for this outcome through her actions, because her addiction to
self-punishment will not be satisfied until it has swallowed
up everything good. “I won’t bother you anymore.” As soon as she hits this bottom, though,
immediately things start changing. Annie is suddenly able to listen
to the messages the universe sends her. Rhodes confronts her about
how much she hurt him. “Your problem, Annie, is that
you just don’t understand that you can hurt people…
with these broken lights.” His comment underlines
the way that addicts believe their addiction is only about them, but their behavior makes
the people they love suffer. Right after this revelation, Annie displays
a turning point in her actions. After having called Ted for a ride, “What’s up, f-[BLEEP]-buddy? You call for some roadside assistance?” “Come on!” she’s finally not okay with staying in
a situation that makes her miserable. She’s bold and proactive. “Please, pull over.” “Why?” “Because
I would rather get MURDERED out here than spend the next half-an-hour
with you. Can you please — can you please just pull over?” Next, after a quick fix of
wallowing in the sadness of watching Tom Hanks
lose Wilson in “Cast Away,” “Wilson, I’m sorry!” “Oh, Wilson.” “Wilson!” she’s visited by Megan, who
drives home the same lesson: Annie has to take control. “I’m trying to get you to
fight for your shitty life, and you won’t do it! You just won’t do it.” Megan embodies a unique spirituality, “I met a dolphin down there. And I swear to God,
that dolphin looked not at me, but into my soul. Into
my goddamn soul, Annie.” so you could say the life-changing
visit she pays Annie mirrors the way Bill Wilson was motivated to found AA after he saw a white light,
and felt the presence of God. Just as AA is deeply
informed by religion — there are 12 steps
because of the 12 apostles — Megan’s inspiring pep talk
becomes the foundation on which Annie rebuilds her life. “Now, you got to stop
feeling sorry for yourself. I do not associate with people that
blame the world for their problems.” Annie’s story underscores AA’s
central lesson of accountability and taking responsibility
for your actions. “You destroyed that party
single-handedly, and you know it. You know, you have to take
responsibility for what you’ve done.” One of the 12 steps is continuing
to take personal inventory and promptly admitting
when you’re wrong. Annie does this when she owns
how she let her friend down by not supporting her
in this crucial time. “This has been really hard
to do without you.” “No, it’s my fault. I think I’m the one
with the mental problems.” And she acts out another famous step
in the 12 steps: making amends — when she bakes Rhodes an apology cake. The Serenity Prayer (which is
often recited in AA meetings) goes, “God grant me the serenity to
accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can,
and wisdom to know the difference.” For most of the movie, Annie isn’t doing
the second part: changing what she can. “No, I don’t think you want any help. I think you want to have
a little pity party.” “Yeah, I think Annie
wants a little pity party!” This point is driven home by
the symbolism of her faltering car — Annie needs to learn to
be the driver of her life, and stop acting like
a helpless passenger. But she’s been letting her car
deteriorate, thanks to her inaction. “Do you have any idea how frustrating
it is to see you, night by night, drive past me with your
f-[BLEEP]-ing tail lights still broken?” when there’s an incredibly
simple fix right in front of her. “Helen just …” “Oh! This didn’t happen
because of Helen. This happened because
you didn’t get your tail lights fixed. It’s pretty simple.” All this shows that Annie also lacks
the Serenity Prayer’s wisdom to know the difference between
what we can and can’t control. She fixates on the things that are
out of reach and unattainable. “He is so hot, though.” “Look, I know you say
he’s cute and all that stuff, but it makes you feel
like shit, you know?” So she has to learn
to let those things go, pay attention to what she can
do for herself, and woman up. “I’m glad to see you’ve got
a little bit of spark in you. I knew that Annie was
in there somewhere.” Still, she has to break down first, before she can rebuild —
and this is okay. Annie’s disintegration is
so satisfying to watch because it purges the emotions
our society largely encourages us to ignore, bottle up, and deny. “Why can’t you just be happy
for me and then go home and talk behind my back later,
like a normal person?” Most of the time we’re expected
to put on a happy face and keep up appearances
when we’re not okay inside. “You’re selling lifelong happiness. You’re not telling everyone about your problems and
how your boyfriend left you, and MAYBE marriage will work out.” But like Annie, we need to confront
when things are wrong in our lives, before we have any hope of
making them better. “Okay, Mom, enough with the AA stuff.” “No, it’s not AA stuff. It’s LIFE.” Annie’s story disproves
the false narrative that things automatically get better
as you get older. “You read my journal?” “At first,
I did not know that it was your diary. I thought it was a very
sad, handwritten book.” We hear talk about
the quarter-life crisis. “You know, I’m gonna be
25 in June.” “You are?” “That’s a quarter of a century. Makes a girl think.” But in her 30s, Annie exemplifies
the third-life crisis. “She’s in her 30s, where
she was probably very ambitious in her 20s to start
her own business, and when that didn’t work out,
she sort of falls into that place where a lot of people,
I think, find themselves.” Her breakdown comes at a time
when the expectation is that you’ve overcome the
chaos of your twenties and have arrived at a settled,
well-adjusted place. Her best friend Lillian is
right on schedule with what society expects
women of their age to be doing. “Ever since you got engaged,
everything has turned to SHIT!” Lillian’s big announcement is
the trigger that sends Annie into an existential tailspin. “Oh my God! Oh…
what is happening?” it forces Annie to come to terms
with all the ways her own life isn’t what she thought it would be. “I feel like her life is going off
and getting perfect, and mine is just like…” Annie embodies how the
third-life crisis feels more serious, high-stakes, and lonely than what
you might go through in your twenties — as time no longer seems so unlimited. “This is my husband. You don’t have a husband.” In its time, “Bridesmaids” was called
the female version of “The Hangover.” [Shouts] “Vegas! Vegas, baby! Vegas!” “Helen just called. She said we can go to Vegas!” While Bridesmaids holds up
a lot better over time, these 2009 and 2011 movies
about pre-wedding festivities both feature not a soon-to-be bride or groom
who’s panicking, but their friends. Annie and the guys in “The Hangover”
act out in wild ways under the subconscious burden
of their friend transitioning into a new, more adult phase of life. Although it may not be deliberate, Annie sabotages all of
Lillian’s bridesmaids events, “You have managed to ruin EVERY event
in my wedding, thank you very much.” reflecting just how much the prospect
of this wedding bothers her, even if she doesn’t fully realize it. “Oh my God, I just got hot.” “You did?” “Yes.” “Are you okay?” “Yes. My pits are sweating. My stomach hurts. I’m a little hot. ” “Bridesmaids” and “The Hangover”
struck a chord with audiences because they acknowledged
how giving away a friend to marriage can feel like a loss
that must be grieved. “Everything’s gonna change. I mean, I’m not going to get
to live five minutes away from you. And it makes me so sad.” Annie is also a product of her era. “Well, I’m the genius that opened
a bakery during the recession.” Three years after the financial crisis of
2008, she reflected the struggles of young people in recession-era America. “Just because you didn’t make any money
at it doesn’t mean that you failed at it.” “I lost a lot of money. All my money.” Is it any wonder that during
Annie’s plane meltdown she harks back to a simpler time? “This is the ’90s.” “Right. It’s not. You’re — You’re in the wrong decade.” “You are.” By the end of the movie
Annie has mended fences with Lillian and she’s gotten
together with Rhodes — so things are on the upswing. “Hey, how did everything go?” “Strangely well.” But the movie isn’t about her suddenly
becoming a huge, runaway success. It’s about the smaller, harder changes
she makes to be happier, and how those actually are a big deal. “And besides, you need to
blaze the trail for me. And then report back,
and tell me what’s coming.” Even if you’re not hooked on
feeling bad about yourself, there are endless addictive thought
patterns you could be engaging in — whether it’s being envied, numbing yourself to escape
a grueling day-to-day existence, or obsessing over someone who hurt you. “They’ve been married 12 years.” “Okay. But she’s still a whore.” So whatever unhealthy behavior
might be going on in your head, ask yourself: is it time to get clean? “You know, I don’t think it’s
ever really too late. I really don’t.” In the immortal words of
Wilson Phillips: “No one can change
your life except for you.” But if you’re not quite ready
to take that first step, you can do as Annie does —
just listen to the music, and hold on. “Things’ll go your way /
If you hold on for one more day.” This video is sponsored by Skillshare,
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100 thoughts on “Bridesmaids: Annie and the Perks of Rock Bottom”

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  • This channel is such a godsend! I feel like you just gave me the answer to all my problems. It's ME! Lmao no but seriously, I really needed this.

  • Lilly Of the North says:

    Oh, I was not expecting this video to make me tear up guys. I've seen Bridesmaids once. Thought it was ok, but I'm pretty picky, so I forgot about it. But I never thought of the main character the way you analyzed it and I identify more with her than I ever realized. Bravo!

  • Ok. I am your #1 fan. Truly. And I'm only 7 minutes in so it might get better, but… I just had to comment now. I find that your analysis so far falls short in that it takes a masculinist perspective on female victimhood. It screams of old psychology's belief that women enjoy suffering–that they are masochistic and they simply do these things to themselves for some benefit–as well as the universal human tendency to blame the victim. Being the victim scares us. We like to think we'd have more control over our situation than this victim here, who could have done so many things to stay safe but they just didn't!

    Psychology in particular has a history of viewing female distress from the lens of disorder and inadequacy. Women's suffering has taken on names like hysteria way back in the day, masochistic personality disorder, self-defeating personality disorder, codependency, and– the current, most scientifically approved versions of this: borderline personality disorder. Annie doesn't ENJOY being miserable. She's surrounded by people who think she does. It's infuriating! Because these people trivialize, minimize, deny, or exploit the pain of women like Annie, there is a need to escalate and intensify more and more to communicate to others just how badly they are hurting, how lost they feel, and how much they need help, cooperation, empathy, etc. Many times they just need to be taken seriously and to hear others be vulnerable about the way their behavior is making them feel. That's it! This is why she starts to get better once Helen is FINALLY able to open up in a real, honest way instead of pretending she's above Annie. Also, we tend to individualize the burden of recovery and mental health, when really, it takes a village. People do not feel and operate in isolation. I'm quite sad that you seem to have missed all this in your analysis.

    I'll finish watching now. Maybe you do say these things. But 7 minutes in and nothing.

  • Oh my God I literally have to change the tail light on my car… which I'm living out of. And I'm going to a non-substance based 12 step meeting tonight. It's creepy how relatable this is right now. Thank you for making this.♥

  • Bubblegum Peach says:

    I'm 22 not thirty but i had that moment some month ago i didn't know what to do, i wasn't working nor trying to go to uni cause I couldn't believe in my self. But after an holiday in my country I came back and decided to change. Now I'm working and doing a course to prepare for the Ielts and finally go to University. I hit the lowest of the low, but I found my energy again.

  • Xiomara La Gordita says:

    I’m glad Megan got some recognition for being such an amazing character. However I think she still deserves an entire video on why she is the friend we all need. 💛

  • I don't think she over reacted to the "let's back together" surprise. You don't want someone you don't know well pushing something on to you like that. I can't quite put into works why. It's like the masseuse episode of Seinfeld.

  • I'm a man who's not in the target audience of this movie. But this and the other review about Helen really makes me want to see this movie. Mostly because wallowing in insecurities, feeling low about yourself, dating people who treat you like crap, constantly comparing yourself to people who look like they have it better than you–these are universal feelings, affecting man and woman alike. I gotta see this movie now!

  • omg, I feel personally attacked by this video lol. I've never even thought about bridesmaids this way, but everything you said makes sense. This is one of my fav films. Now I'm having a slight breakdown lol I see so much of myself in Annie this video is honestly kind of painful, but exactly what I need to hear right now.

  • Please, break down the original Charmed series! Maybe their sisterhood dynamics or couple dynamics for Piper&Leo and Phoebe&Cole? 😊

  • residentevil4life says:

    OMG this critic hits right at home for me since im infamous for self-loathing among my friends and its definitely been a challenge to stop whining about my life and push forward

  • Melissa McCarthy is not here for your myopic [nonsense] :).

    “I popped out and I got a few little baking bits and pieces… because I thought that it would be fun for us to bake together today!” 🤩. Great date idea :).

  • Man, I used to relate to Annie so much. I was also addicted to feeling bad about myself, self-sabotaged and self-destructed like no one's business in every way except substance abuse. For the last couple years (esp last year) I've gotten better, and it's nice to see this analysis of Annie hitting and recovering from Rock Bottom, knowing I've already done it too.

  • I’ve always been able to sympathize with Annie bc I identify with her a lottt. Depending on my mood, I sometimes don’t even wanna think too hard about the movie bc it hits too close to home. So with all her outbursts and all that, I totally understood where she was coming from. It was the kind of stuff I think we all imagine ourselves doing from time to time if decorum wasn’t a thing. 😛

  • So many deleted scenes from the movie that would have tied more of the story, and ultimately the lessons, together. I never get tired of watching it…. And I definitely see myself in Annie ❤️🧡💛💚💙

  • Thank you for justifying my fidelity to chick flicks. This video essay was better for me than months of talk therapy. I never understood why chick flicks make me cry. Your videos explain the underlying dynamics at work in these movies. My strong emotional response makes perfect sense to me now.

  • this is such a truly incredible video WOW! thank you so much again for how much deep thought and effort goes into these, they really are mind-blowing expositions

  • I love you guys! This analysis is so spot on , thank you so much for giving us some tips. Please make a video about Megan!

  • I remember being disappointed when I first saw this film, because I thought it was "too serious" for a comedy. But since rewatching it a couple of times, it's amazing to see a film honestly depict total failure, and how to get out of it ❤️ love this video!

  • "You are a product of the lessons that you’ve learned. You are wiser because you went through something terrible. And you are the person who survived a bunch of rainstorms and kept walking. I now believe that pain makes you stronger, and I now believe that walking through a lot of rainstorms gets you clean." ~Taylor Swift, Clean speech May 5th 2015 in Tokyo

  • Very unrealistic movie. Nobody with a mother that nice and wise ends up like her. In real life the mother would be a piece of work herself. And definitely not going to AA.

  • I had no idea how much I needed this video. I’d love to see one about Megan and how she actually has it all and is the definition of resilience 😊

  • I first saw this film when I was spiralling towards bottom. I hated it. Now, so many years years after bottom, I see how much I needed to see this. Thanks for this 🙂

  • Sheilla Nyakato says:

    Thanks for the pep talk bse she is me addicted to feeling bad about my self , one year mourning period is enough now_I need to move on and not self sabotage by coming 15mins late to a new workplace.

  • Sir Charles Mormont says:

    I've never seen this film, and I am now afraid to see it and become a pile of tear-stained goo on my couch. I see so much of myself in Annie. I have a lost, black hole of a decade after the recession hit, and I'm finally making progress in picking up the pieces again with a new career, but… damn, I feel this so hard. Thanks for your astute analysis.

  • When I first watched this movie, I was at a very low point, and I didn't see a way out. During the scene Megan tells Annie to fight for her life, I legit cried – hard. Sometime later I heard from my mother that she had cried at that scene when she'd watched it too, thinking of me. No real change happened directly after that, but I think that it had planted a seed that took root and slowly grew up in me. It's now a few years later, and I was able to find a way out of that hole and start my life anew: new city, new prospects, and a much more stable foundation.
    Thanks "The Take" for making this video. It really deserved to be made.

  • Thank you so much!

    This made me realise I have an addiction myself (escapism). It made me want to read up a bit on addictive behaviours and how to get rid of it and I had sort of a breakthrough!

    Can't thank you enough for this wake-up call!

  • This an easy mental trap for us women. The pressure to be perfect can easily make you feel inadequate and if you’re not a strong person you might just get into a cycle of relating with the pain and that’s all you can understand.

  • Y’all!! You know what I just realized?? She’s cries about Wilson in Cast Away and their favorite band is Wilson Phillips 🤯

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