Breaking Up with You…Tube

Breaking Up with You…Tube


So before this, it’s been like around a year since I’ve posted a video. Before that, it was another year so essentially, it’s been two years since I’ve really done this and So with that in mind, it it already kind of seems like I’ve quit YouTube, but I always promised myself that When I finally made the like official decision, if I did to walk away and really quit Um that I would make one last video, ’cause I don’t want to just like leave you hanging and not explain myself and just kind of like This, my experience on YouTube means too much to me to just kind of walk away from and not Have a real ending and real closure So that’s kind of what I’m trying to accomplish today, for me, for you, for our channel here. So this is my last video Um… I haven’t really planned what I’m gonna say. There are several things. I want to touch on and so um… I Guess like the main reason why I’m quitting is the most important reason for me to be posting this um… I started YouTube in 2012 with the Overly Attached Girlfriend and the meme and all that stuff. I would say after about a year of doing YouTube, I started to feel The stress and the weight of the job more than I ever had before it started to feel like a job more than it ever had before. With it all thrown at me I, I Didn’t know what I was doing. I still feel like I don’t know what I’m doing and um… You know, I put out a video every week and I love hearing from you guys, I love talking to you guys, I love meeting you guys, and other YouTubers, and going on trips, and seeing cool places and doing things It’s awesome. I am so grateful but, at the same time it’s, it’s so brand-new that I think it was just really overwhelming in the beginning and even now there are days when I just feel like you know, I have no idea what I’m doing Um, I started to feel a lot of pressure to make up my mind career-wise figure out where I was gonna go with YouTube or after YouTube beyond YouTube and I couldn’t do it confidently and it really stressed me out. [FEMALE INTERVIEWER]: So where do you see your career in the next five years? [LAINA]: Well if I’ve learned anything from this it’s that I don’t know what I’m doing in like five days, so, I don’t know. I think I’m gonna stick with YouTube as long as I can [MALE INTERVIEWER]: What’s the future for you looking like? What’s your what’s your vision for the next few years? What would you like to be doing? [LAINA]: I have no idea. I don’t I mean I don’t know what I’ll be doing tomorrow, so Um… I think I’m gonna ride… [MALE INTERVIEWER]: Probably here though, right? You might be here? [LAINA]: I’ll probably be a Playlist Live. [MALE ANNOUNCER]: Maybe Sunday. [LAINA]: I think I have a meat and greet at like 3:00. [LAUGHTER] But um… But yeah, I don’t know I mean, I think, I’ll just kind of like ride YouTube out as long as it last and then maybe do something beyond that eventually But we’ll see what happens. [FEMALE INTERVIEWER] If you’re gonna look back at your videos in like in the next year do you want to do you want to be Laina the the vlogger more of a comedian actress? After about a year and a half of Doing it. I Started to feel um.. a bit depressed, and starting around like 2014 I would say the beginning of 2014. um… I sort of landed myself in a real deep depression, and I was keeping it a real deep secret from everyone around me. I felt ashamed and I felt guilt for being stressed and overwhelmed in a world and with the job and opportunities that were so great I didn’t understand why I couldn’t handle it for years. Um… I was battling a really complicated and difficult and for me for some reason almost embarrassing Um.. thing that is depression, I didn’t understand it, I Was really hard on myself because of it, you know I was posting videos and I still really really wanted to but at the same time I would be like posting a happy upbeat video and then I would have like a breakdown, and then I would edit the video post the video and then have another breakdown um… I started around I think 2015 recording like a sort of like a video diary for myself that I never planned on anyone else seeing Uh, just to like keep track of what was going on in my life. I wanted to be able to look back on it and hopefully like see progress and um… By that point sitting in front of a camera and talking had become very natural it become one of the only ways that I could really like talk through things for some reason. To give you a bit of an idea of like what I was going through I’m gonna show you a few of those Clips. They are very embarrassing uh… they are from a very difficult time in my life and I really struggled with the decision to show them to you, but I think in the end, the message that I want to give to you through those videos is more important than Saving myself the embarrassment so, um… first I guess I just want you to take a look at a few of these videos that you were never supposed to see. I Don’t know I don’t know what to do. All I do is just sit at home and think about how One day I’ll have it figured out. You know, but I’m not doing anything, I’m not doing anything. To figure it out. I have been Stressed for way too long, depressed for way too long, and I’m just feeling really really good And I finally feel like I’m kind of back to my old normal self This is just so frustrating because I’m finally feeling good, I’m finally motivated, and I Talk like… like where do we go from here? I don’t know and it’s Thursday and I don’t have a video It just feels very selfish to be this upset because I can’t be successful and what I wanna do when I’m, I’m, fine, I own a house and a car and I’m doing fine. I feel better like then I’ve been feeling but I’m still very stuck and I’m trying like Am I trying? I don’t know. So as you can tell I was dealing with a lot privately Um in 2017, I decided to take a break from YouTube I had just moved to Arizona from Texas with my boyfriend who also like I’ve never really mentioned on this channel So surprised like I’ve been with him since before you ever knew who I was this whole time. I was really kind of just overwhelmed with the regular stress that comes with moving like moving a far distance, all of our stuff, saying goodbye to all our friends it was just a difficult moment and I decided to take a break from YouTube thinking that it might be a week or two weeks or a month or that maybe I wouldn’t take a full break. Maybe I would just post Irregularly, not like once a week, or twice a week, whatever I was doing then and then like taking a small break turned into not posting for an entire year, and then since that last video it’s been another year, and in that year, I have gone to therapy. I have really thought this through. I have time and time again like battled in my head, “Do I want to do this?” “Do I want to quit YouTube?” and I’ve come to this point in this moment today where I can like confidently sit in front of this camera and say that it’s time for me to say goodbye to you guys and um… officially end this thing that I’ve been really holding on to and like not wanting to let go. With saying goodbye though, I want to put a really important message out there to you guys and anyone who’s just anyone who’s watching this. Um… I got help for my depression. I started seeing a therapist who after nine months of convincing led me to a psychiatrist who um… prescribed me medication for my depression and anxiety and it was a surprisingly really really hard decision to make to take that medication. I don’t know why um… I think I just I struggled a lot accepting the fact that I needed help with my mental health I, I have never really like judged anyone else for that. I’ve never like seen a friend or a family member even like a stranger going through something and thought like That it’s not real or that they should just get over it or that medication is bad but for some reason when it was me, like I had a very tough time. I left the pharmacy the first time I picked it up and I cried in the parking lot of the pharmacy and like I didn’t know what to do; In fact, if I can find it, I’m pretty sure I filmed a video um… Because I thought it’s felt important if ever was gonna talk about my mental health it felt important to just like record that that moment so that day, I think I filmed something and if I can find it, I’ll put it here. Yesterday I had my first appointment with a psychiatrist Who prescribed me some medication For depression and anxiety, I was supposed to start taking it today and I haven’t and I don’t know what’s going on, but I’m like really scared to take it Part of it is that I’ve read online like side-effects and I guess maybe I’m just afraid of that And even though I talked to my psychiatrist about it and got like all the information that like made me feel better and you know, I don’t know. There’s just something in me that’s like not letting me do this. I don’t know what it is. I don’t know why I’m afraid to take it. [SNIFFS] I think having to like face that I am not okay on my own is hard it makes me feel weak for some reason that makes me feel I don’t I don’t know like I’m just not okay. I think I’m like afraid that it’s not even gonna work or that the side effects will be so bad that it won’t be worth it I can’t help but think there’s something wrong with me because I need this and then I’m not like able to give myself everything that I need and I have to pay to put drugs in me to just make me normal like I don’t know. Also, why can’t I do this in therapy I can’t ever talk about it I just like push it all down and say that I’m okay, and I’m clearly not. Okay I’m also just stressed by the way because we are moving and we have to move fast and it’s a long complicated story but um, I Think it’s just a lot all at once Anyway Okay. So that was really hard and Thankfully eventually over time I realized that getting that medication and taking that step was one of the best decisions I could have ever made. Last time I talked about this, I was crying for a very different reason. I’ve been on medication now for a few weeks. I feel like I got my prescription the first time and I immediately started like trying to to find validation in other people and be like, “I got this, I’m gonna take this,” and like hear what they had to say about it, before deciding how I felt about it, when what I need is to just trust me and understand that like this is my journey. These are my decisions. This is my mind This experience has really made me want to speak up more about my own journey and like help people who maybe felt How I did just a few weeks ago. Like I was terrified to take the medication and I I feel like it needs to be way more normalized. Like if you need it you need it, take it. If it even just helps one person feel less alone in their own journey Then that’s what I want to do so I just wanted to record this and say like You know, it’s really really important to care about yourself and to trust yourself to validate your own decisions for yourself and to be proud of yourself And I’m really really proud of myself. I just feel good about it. And I just woke up. So sorry for… No. I’m not It helped me a lot and One thing that really helped me to accept the fact that I needed it, was seeing people talk about it in media online and on TV and hearing people specifically actually Kristen Bell, who I love, has talked very openly about her depression and her use of medication and That is something that actually really helped me accept it in myself So it is very important to me that with this video. I do mention my experience and let you know that depression is hard and it hurts and it Can make you feel crazy and it can make you feel very alone and it can make you feel like You will never fully get better Because there are highs and lows and the lows are so low But when you’re feeling good It can be really scary because you don’t know how long that feeling will last When you start to feel bad again, it can be scary because you thought you had gotten over it right like I get it I know how hard it is And I’m sure also that it’s different for everyone but that is my experience. Getting medication helped me There’s absolutely nothing wrong with taking medication because you are doing nothing but helping yourself. All that means is that you are willing to do anything you can do to help yourself, and that’s a great thing, and you should absolutely do that. So I really want to encourage anyone who’s watching this, that is feeling really bad and feels like they’re struggling with depression or anxiety or any other mental illness. Please reach out for help and please take the time to really like accept that in yourself and really like love yourself through it because you can have a therapist, you can have a psychiatrist, you can have family and friends. You can have Kristen Bell on YouTube. But at the end of the day, you are alone with you and your own thoughts and you need to love yourself. Think I needed to hear that one come out of my own mouth for some reason and it’s not easy There are still ups and downs. It’s not like you take a pill and suddenly you’re perfectly happy. It’s more like you’re Regulated with normal emotions and like you still have bad days But they’re just not as bad all the time and you still have good days and you still have your emotions That’s something that I was really scared of after reading things online about medication I was afraid that I would feel nothing if I took medication that I wouldn’t have any emotions anymore and it’s not the case I just felt more in control and It’s the best thing that I’ve done for myself. It’s the best thing you can do for yourself if you’re in that position also So I just want to put that message out into the world and Encourage anyone who might be watching this who needs to hear it And with that Um… I also just want to say that depression, anxiety difficult moments; they’re not the whole reason that I am quitting YouTube. I have also just grown up and life has changed and my priorities have changed. And my relationship with YouTube honestly like started to become more negative than positive. And I’m just in a place where like I know, as much as I don’t want to admit it, I know that this part of my life is done, and it’s time to say goodbye. and How’s it feel to be broken up with by the overly attached girlfriend? Anyway before I go, before I officially say goodbye I want to say thank you for your support for your kindness for giving me something that I really needed at a time when I really needed it For giving your time to caring about me and my life For giving me opportunities that I never would have had otherwise, um For giving me my dream car A trip to London, a trip to Singapore Letting me like have all of the experiences that I’ve had It’s all because of you guys and your support. For giving your money to dare to share and to Sloane and For being there when I really needed you even when you didn’t know that I really needed you To everyone that I’ve met in person to everyone that’s written a letter Drawn me a picture, sent me a postcard like Every moment of this, even through the really hard times like every moment of this experience and of YouTube, I Have met some of my best friends through this platform That will last a lifetime You gave me a confidence that I did not have before YouTube, you have given me Experiences that you don’t even know you’ve given me Because of YouTube and because of you watching me I have gotten to meet people I would have never gotten to meet, go places I would have never gotten to go And while this is a really sad I promise you That I know that this is the right decision and This is why I’ve been putting it off. That’s it. I just want to say thank you um, I love you guys I promise I’ve thought this through, I promise. I promise that I want to do this. It’s just it’s hard. Ok I think I Got it in this with a fun Probably sad A little montage of our time together set to some music. So let’s do that and It’s it’s bittersweet I know that this is what needs to happen, but I will miss you guys Um Still on Instagram, still on Twitter. You can follow me there Don’t follow me in real life This is the part where I normally tell you to subscribe, but I guess it doesn’t matter. Um Thank you so much For everything Thank you for your support. Thank you for believing in me and supporting and me supporting me. I can’t speak. Um Thank you so much for everything. I love you guys I love you guys I feel like I need to end with a smile here. I’m happy it’s fine. I really am. Um, I I really am, it’s just sad. I feel like I’ve said that a million times, but I Don’t know I don’t want to leave just like sobbing and then turn the camera off but um Okay, I just now I feel like I’m just repeating the same things over and over and over so Goodbye Is Some Pass Man They were I Try to keep it simple cuz goodbye. Try to keep yourself We picture I just closed my eyes you never All of the things that You You

Author:

100 thoughts on “Breaking Up with You…Tube”

  • This and you are amazing!! I think every high school student should see this. To understand that what is posted on social media is not real life. And to understand and accept mental health issues. Thank you for sharing, your vulnerability is your strength!

  • I was there at your beginning.
    I came here because a friend of mine post a meme gif of you In the same time I want to found you and see how you was doing and here I am in you farewell 😔
    Thank you girl!
    Greetings from Brazil

  • Hey, you did a great job. You're funny, VERY easy on the eyes, and personable. You seem like a truly great person. It was a ton of fun, and you will be missed. At the same time you'll be remembered. Best of luck in your ventures, health, and everything else that you really want to achieve in life. And don't feel badly about anything, because the hard truth is that none of us knows what the hell we're doing.

  • What really matters is that you made us laugh. You warmed our hearts. You made the world was a better place because you were in it. You touched more lives than you will ever see. I hope we get to see you again; and should we, I hope you find the full joy of being. I never knew you; but I'm so glad you decided one day to make a silly Justin Bieber parody, because I'd not trade having seen it for any prize in the world. Take care of you.

  • Fun fact, i just find out she posted this video from scrolling through my “favorite videos playlist”. But my question that remains, what in store for her futures does she have a job to go to now? Does anyone know?

  • Ageless Martial Arts Las Vegas says:

    She should have gone into acting. She gorgeous and funny. She made a lot of people laugh. I just wanted to say, I loved your JB video. And all your videos. I just want you to know your very talented, and you deserve happiness. I hope this message finds you well.

  • This is the saddest thing but I respect her for accepting the fact that this is what she needed to do.
    Thank you Laina for all the laughs! I’ve been watching you for years and you always put a smile on my face.
    Thank you also for taking the time to explain everything you went through, it definitely wasn’t something you were obliged to share but the fact that you did really helped me better understand mental health and depression so thank you! I hope to be able to be more understanding towards myself and others thanks to this video!
    Goodbye overly attached girlfriend, advice with Astrid, Gilly…
    And the girl who started it all, Laina ❤️

  • ChrisCrossApplesauc1 says:

    My dear Laina…I know that getting off YouTube for good was a mega-hard decision to make; but sometimes ya gotta do what's best for yourself in the long run, no matter how difficult it may be. But no matter what you do from this point on, you'll always be in all of our hearts. kiss…hug :*

  • michael weston says:

    I love you! Your beautiful, fuck all the negative vibes. Fuck depression, reach for the sky even if it kills you. “Conquer your fears, and I promise you… you’ll conquer death”!!!!!

  • steve nightmares says:

    I will always love you bunny… thank you for posting a final video on my birthday of 33 years… I was mentally sick too now naturally stable without drugs… drugs were making me feel worse

  • I'm sure it sucks having to be on for people like that. "Let me ask you the most generic questions I can think of, that I have literally seen you answer multiple times before."

  • I became overly attached to your videos but mainly your smile. I hope you find a career that makes you happy and I wish you the best. You made one of the best memes ever. Take care and I’ll remain subscribed to your channel.

  • Laina, thank you. I still
    Struggle with this, constantly. I will offer this as well, have a good support system! Good luck to you and your endeavors! Stay strong, Overly Attached Girlfriend!

  • I’ll miss that amazing voice ❤️❤️❤️ it’s easy for people to forget a real person exists behind that screen. Thank you for being so raw and powerful.

    Edit: I actually teared up WITH you. Wow. Didn’t realize how attached I was (no joke intended).

  • damn i wouldn never have guessed how much you were struggling behind the scenes girl, your videos showed such an awesome beautiful happy girl.. im glad you have chosen to close this chapter. i wish you all the best in the world!

  • So much respect for you for speaking out openly about depression and anxiety. I have chronic depression and take medication since age of 16 and I feel your video is a very important contribution to raise awareness about that topic. It can happen to ANYONE and the short videos show you've been really deep into the depression and the thoughts and self view that come with it. Thank you so much

  • @Laina YOU should be the most important person in YOUR life, so enjoy YOUR life and take care of YOURSELF! Maybe I'm a little late but I wish YOU all the best! Greetings from Poland.

  • I suspect you won't read this Laina.
    This isn't only for you though.
    This is for everyone who has or does suffer from mental health issues.

    You CAN get better.
    You CAN feel better.
    You CAN be better.

    Don't feel bad.
    Don't feel down.
    Don't feel you let other people down.

    Some people need medication.
    Some people need to talk.
    Some people need to be alone or to sort these things out in their own head.

    I admire you for getting help.
    That is the very first step.

    Don't be ashamed to ask for help.

    Ever.

  • Rashide Oliver says:

    Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

  • a lo mejor nunca leas este mensaje pero eres la mujer mas hermosa que vi. y debes ser una mujer muy cariñosa y amorosa. suerte en tu vida y cuando quieras casarte con alguien estoy diponible…

  • Just found your channel and can see that you brought joy to many people. Now it is time to bring some of that joy to yourself. NEVER feel guilty for wanting that. Be well young miss and enjoy the life you have and all those little things that are the truly big things in our lives. Thank you for all you've done. God Bless you and yours Laina. Peace…

  • Split Dimension says:

    Youtube recommended this to me for some strange reason. I never knew she had a youtube channel. All I knew was that she was the overly attached girlfriend meme. Well, good luck with whatever she wants to do with her life.

  • naBeJI_OJIeroBu4 PCФCP_XMAO says:

    Я щас заплачу от того что у нее глаза чуть бы не в слезах

  • wow it's been all the way along. I just catch up to this video.
    I watched overly attached girlfriend when I was like secondary school student. Now I graduated from uni and watched this video.
    Though I didn't catch up much throughout these years, thank your for uploading the videos all these years.
    Hope you have a new journey of your life. Do share your life on social media (I guess?) so we can catch up. Love and support from Hong Kong 🙂

  • mental health start to effect a lot of people in their late 20's, thank you for posting your experience, it's very empowering to the mental health community.
    Take care of yourself First! and best of luck to you, dear.

  • I just want to say, I love how the "overly attached girlfriend" is now "mindfulness girlfriend".
    that's a good ending on my book.

  • I blame youtube for exploiting these stars without giving them any support.

    Hey I blame myself for liking them so much

    Everyone is on their own and have to find themselves on their own.

  • I don't know much about you or who you are as a person, but I understand your pain. Dealing with depression is so hard. Please take care of yourself.

  • The280Times Trivia Channel says:

    I saw this video pop up in my recommended list well.. about 2 or 3 months ago now and I added you to my Watch Later..
    Tonight is one of those nights where ya go through the list.. catch up on that stuff that ya pile in there..
    lol.. I've seen your meme.. 1000's of times (and pretty sure i used it more then twice..) but i never actually knew its Origin.
    so.. watching this video and realizing the connection i'm like totally blown away. I'm sad that this series is now concluded,
    but I guess i'm kinda glad that I've found you now that its over too.. It's like finding Battlestar Galactica a week after the finale.
    you know that the series has a proper conclusion.. its nice to be in it in the moment but its also nice to know that there is a resolution..
    not that there's a resolution here per say lol but there is a defined end.. its just the closest comparison. – I'm just at the start of my youtube journey..
    I'm 15 months in.. lol had several "omg it's thursday" moments.. (in my case its not a set day, but set number of days) .
    I think anyone who really cares about their channel can relate to that scene a lot.

    I look forward to now starting to watch your channel.
    I did sub. I'd joke about a deal but youtube autofilters may not understand the context of the joke. lol.
    I hope, from the bottom of my heart that more people come across your channel over the years and decades to come,
    find relevance and enjoyment and a connection with it… and keep a constant stream of income heading your way forever.
    ..if there is a posting minimum to qualify (i'm nowhere near 4k/1k so i don't know about extra fine print) i'd say do the bare minimum
    to meet those requirements just to continue the income and keep the content alive.
    (lol post a fish swimming in a bowl once a year or whatever is needed)

    …I wish you the absolute best in all aspects of life.
    thank you for the entertainment you have given the world,
    and will be providing me over the next few weeks while I catch up.

  • I don't know you, just happened to come across this video by chance. Your story is full of pain and hardship, yet I cannot feel bad for you because I feel so "happy" for you! It's like, the world took hold of one gleaming gem that you offered and then demanded the whole Mine. Glad you are walking away for "your" sake.

  • I just want to let you know that I've been singing your Kia Soul song for YEARS. Like legit YEARS.

    I hope that (even though I'm posting this months late) you continue to succeed in your life and you continue growing outside of Youtube.
    Take care Laina!

  • I kept coming back every few months to check on any new videos. A bit gobsmacked, but I'm happy for you if you're ready to let this go. It seems like you're doing better. A lot of your share hit me at a personal level, because I myself am struggling with getting the help I need. Thank you Laina.

  • Well… I may be too late, but gonna tell you anyway….
    I am so glad and grateful for you and your content… you ALWAYS made me (us) laugh… you're so FUNNY… (and you have such a great smile)…
    I also wanted to thank you for sharing and being honest here… I would rather hear you talking about this now, then finding out about a different ending… I am glad you were strong… KEEP IT UP!
    You can also be assured that your powerful words will help others seek and find the help they need… SO THANK YOU FOR THAT. We will miss you here!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *