“Breaking the Ice” – Inanimate Insanity II [Ep. 1]

“Breaking the Ice” – Inanimate Insanity II [Ep. 1]


(DANCE MUSIC + STORM DANCE) Hey, OJ, it’s so nice not to be in Idiotic Island after you rescued me. Well, I’m glad the million was put towards something we can all enjoy. I would enjoy it… You know, if Apple was still gone! (SCREAM) Much better! Jeez, Apple, after being isolated for so many months, I thought you would be warmed up to Marshmallow by now. Oh, I’ll warm her up alright! How many times do I have to tell you guys, no fires in the hotel! Aw… And stop putting graffiti on the walls. Hey, you can’t just jump on them, you have to shoot them! Shoot this! Man, you killed me. (KNOCKING) OJ, buddy- Balloon, how many times do I have to tell you, you’re not allowed in here. Well, you don’t really have a choi- (SLAM) (CRUNCH) Lightbulb, stop, you’ve eaten, like, 50 cookies already! (GULP) Actually, I’ve eaten like, 53 and- (GAG) How is my like, time? Wait, I was supposed to be counting? (LIGHTBULB VOMITING) (BASEBALL SCREAMING) Like, whateves, I’m getting a cookie. Don’t, you, dare… Mail’s here! Gimme those! Another note from Taco. Uh… I don’t need her pity, just throw it in the fire. Huh? Aah! What’s happening? Guys, I think that’s a… Plane? Thanks, Mr. Obvious. I think… You mean Mrs. Obvious? Oh, no, no, no, I’m just playing, I really have no clue. Well, let’s go and see who it is. (MUSIC) (THUD AND ZIP) (FOOMF) Um… Hi? Greetings and salutations! Uh… Well, it’s great to see you too. I see you’ve done something impressive with your prize, OJ. Thanks! And since we last saw each other, Adam agreed to let me have a personal assistant for the second season. I was told I’d meet him here. Hello, is there a Mr. Phone here? (SILENCE) Hello, Sir, are you the Mr. Phone I was told to assist by Master Adam? (BEEPLE) Adam, what is this… thing? I am guessing you’re referring to your new assistant. That is Toilet. We couldn’t really find anyone else who wanted to assist for some reason, weird huh? So, there, here you go. You can’t be serious! (PHONE HANGS UP) Hello, hello…? Hello? Uh… Why are you here again? Oh, right, well… It’s been two years since ‘Inanimate Insanity’ was released, cool, right? No, not really. Is that the only reason you flew here? Pretty terrible reason… Actually, it’s not, ‘Inanimate Insanity’ Season 2 is taking place right here! No, it’s not, my winning hotel is here. And, I’m telling you, it’s not going anywhere. (CRASH) (CRACK) (BREAK) (ALL SCREAMING) (CRASH) (DINK) And, these are the new stereotypes. …uh -I- I mean the season 2 contestants. Aw… So you’re replacing us with them? Really? What’s wrong with us? Yeah, that wasn’t a bright thing to say! Heh heh. Get it? Heh heh. Nice one! Ugh… Okay, let’s get to it. I want some of you, the old contestants, to join the game and battle alongside them. So, check out this slot machine. Seven of you will join the game. It will be decided by chance. Ooh, ooh, Sir, can I pull the lever? No, don’t touch it, you filthy… Uh… I- I mean, can you run and get me some uhh… some wires? Sure thing, Mr. Phone! It’s MePhone! Ugh… Paintbrush, welcome to Season 2, Have anything to say? Um… well, actually, I had a question about- Okay. Let’s not waste any time. (WOOSH) (KICK) It has to land on me! (THUDDING) (DING) Yeah! Is that-? Oh, wait, that’s not me, darn… Knife, welcome! It has to land on me! You already said that, I just hope it doesn’t… Land on me… meh… UH-DUGH! Nickel, congrats! It has to- (slap) No! Hehe, hee, hee! Lightbulb, you get- Yeah, yeah… Four spots left. (Horror) Bow? Great, another season with you. Oh, wait, you’re dead! Yes! I can’t believe it! Like, OMG, you like, talked. Wow, now that I joined the season, I figured I might as well start saying actual stuff again. But, nobody like, likes you, like. That’s not true! Here is those wires you needed, Mr. Phone, oh my gosh, Balloon, nobody likes you. Oh, come on! Yay! Great, now I don’t have to deal with you anymore. What, can I quit? No. But before you fling me, just tell me what ”quit” means. This is the final spot. Oh, good, I really didn’t get to do much last season, now I can finally really compete. That’s our season 2 cast. But our season 1 winner is still dead! Oh, yeah, well… Let’s bring him back. So that’s how it works! Wha… what happened? We didn’t make season 2. Oh, well, I don’t really have a reason to be in season 2, I mean, I did win season 1. So obviously, I don’t need to be in season 2. It’s fine anyways, we can all chill in my awe- some- hotAL! What happened? It’s okay, OJ, now we have plenty of time to fix up the hotel together, Forever. Noooooo! This seems rather peculiar, I’ve never been on a competition before. Let’s just get to the contest, so I can cream these chumps and take the million. Wow, why is he saying that? Everyone knows the mean characters get out first. Mm-hm, girl. Anyway, 19 contestants, $1 million, this is ”Inanimate Insanity II”. (INTRO MUSIC) (UNNECESSARILY LOUDLY) So, what’s the challenge? Ow! Mic, turn down the volume! (BEEP) Sorry, that happens sometimes. Mr. Phone, I got your wires. These are just strings of half eaten spaghetti! Oh, sorry, Sir, I didn’t have my lunch break. Since when did Adam give us lunch breaks? So I wonder what the new contestants are doing. Hi there! Stranger danger! Well, let’s change that. I am Microphone, as you can see, I am a microphone. And you must be Paintbrush and Lightbulb. Wow, how did she know that? Okay, okay, you guys really need to socialize! So let’s do some icebreakers. Yeah! My fist can break the ice like butter! Like those pillows you call fists will break anything. Guys, I don’t think that’s what he meant. Ah-choo! Gross, man! Sorry, it’s my cOnDishAwn. Ew! Germs, we must eliminate all of them at all costs! Ehehehehehe… (Uh…) Neat freak… Guys, icebreakers is a relative term for a way of bonding for two people that have never met. Yes, and I would have said that, if you all didn’t interrupt me. I didn’t interrupt you, I’m your biggest fan! He’s a fan, get it? Okay. That’s not funny… So, what fun game are we going to play to get to know each other? Oh, well, I literally meant icebreakers, we’re headed over to Glastonion glacier. Never heard of it… Well, now, you have! This doesn’t apply to the definition I just explained… Your first challenge is to be the last one on the glacier. All pushing, shoving, kicking, and horseplay is especially allowed. Horseplay is my middle name. That’s an odd middle name… Mr. Phone! Everyone, shut up! Mr. Pho- Let’s find out who the winner of the first challenge will be. Get set, on your mark, go! First things first. POP! There we go! YANG: I think we need to move over more to the left. YIN: No! we should move to the right! YANG: No! I hate you! YIN: I hate you, too! ♪ Scrubbing, scrubbing, all day long! ♪ Hehehehe… (Smack and Double splash) Um… Trophy Horseplay, I think we should, like, form an alliance. Yeah, and I think, like, you should die. I’d rather form an alliance with Mr. Sharp Guy over there. You seem tough. Nope. I’m not interested. Excuse me? Sorry, but you and I are quite… different. Um, how? We’re both jocks. No, you’re a jock, and I’m a jerk. Big difference. Fine! We’ll settle this like men, with the ultimate- (Smack and Splash) (Lightbulb holding her breath) Um, are you okay? Of course! I’m just following the rules of object shows. As long as I’m not mean to anybody, or interact with anything, I’ll be safe! OMGA! You made me interact with you! What do I do? (Smack And Splash again) Nickel! Aah! Don’t push me off! No, I, I wasn’t going to do that! I was just saying that we have to form an alliance! I mean, OJ and Taco made it so far last season with that method. I think that we would be smart if we did that too! How original! I know! Anyway, two people isn’t going to cut it. Wow, that idea really hits out of the park! Anyway I can join? (SIGH) Of course you can. But in order to join, you have to look in the opposite direction. Wow, that idea is really worth more than five cen- (Kick and Splash) Wow, this water seems almost near freezing! My approximation would be… 33 degrees Fahrenheit. We didn’t ask for a chemistry lesson! Science rules! Wow, you’re really good at this non-interacting thing. How do you pull it off? A true master indeed. Marshmallow, you’re so getting out! Well, you’re so getting in! Baseball, I’m sorry. But I’m gonna have to push you off. Uh, okay? Grrr! No fair! Your fatness is too much to handle! (Deep breath) I’m… Not… Fat! Aaaaaaah! So who’s going to join our alliance now? Hi! I’m sorry Knife was so mean to you. But I’ll join your alliance! Hmm. I’m trying to find something wrong with you. Gimme a second. Yeah, well, you’re armless just like us, I think you’re the perfect candidate! Alright! Yay for social cliques. You won’t push me off, will you? Of course not. But what about that thing? Ew, what is that thing? Uhhhh… Ahhhhhh! Wow, my plan is working perfectly! Oh. Um… Oh, no. Ahhh! Baseball, this is going to be kind of hard to win now! I can’t reach. What a coincidence. I can’t either. Well, the ice has been broken, I think you two just earned the spot of team captain. Yea-eah! Can I choose the teams first? OMGA, I think not. Actually, we’re selecting the teams based on the order you all got out in the challenge. The odd numbers are on Baseball’s team, and the even numbers are on Lightbulb’s team. (SIGH) I’m so sad we don’t have Paintbrush. She’s tall! She could come in handy someday. Paintbrush is a girl? Yeah! I’m on that team! Wow, that all happened so fast! Hi, Team Baseball! Uh, why is it Team Baseball? That kinda contradicts the team dynamic, you know? Okay, you both can choose a team name. Just because we’re so epic, how about Team Ep- No! We are not going to be called Team Epic again! Fine. Hmm… well, just because we’re so bright, And, because we light up this game, We should be the Bright Lights! You’re the Bright Lights. Since we’re gonna hit this challenge out of the park, We’re going to be the Grand Slams! Ow! You’re the Grand Slams. Anyway, the first team challenge is a friendly game of dodgeball. But I’m so tired! And my condition is getting worse! Ah-choo! (SCREAMING) Ahh! Each team gets dodge balls. If you hit a player on the opposite team, they are out. However, if they catch it, you are out. Well, no arms is going to make it easy to catch them. So, go! Now! First things first. There we go. Just give all the balls to me. You’d like that, wouldn’t you? Hehe, get it? Don’t go there. You cheesy twerp! Trophy! How could you hit your team! Everybody, please hit the members of the opposite team! Nanana, carry on, we don’t mind! Well, I do! Pretty cool, right? They’re called arms! Agh! One step ahead of you, Nickel. Arms! Feh… Oh, no, my alliance is gone! I’ll avenge them by following in their footsteps! Arms! Well, that was unexpected… Guys, these dodge balls are so dirty! What if we get a disease? I’m… pretty sure that won’t happen. Step aside, man, let the professional handle this. Agh! Nice shot! Thanks! You really think it was? (Smack!) Ahh! Box is going down! (Smack!) Oh, wow, that actually worked! Marshmallow! There’s something I’ve always wanted to ask you! Not the best time, Fan… Oh, just real quick! Why don’t you use your time machine and- Look out! (Double Hit!) Microphone! We’re the only two left! I have an idea! Ahhhhh! That did nothing but make me deaf! Quick, everyone, use your pelvis, I mean, your arms to get them! But we have ar- Oh, no. Everybody on my team’s out! Except me! Ahhhh! (Glass breaking) Wow, what a ”macro” win for a ”Micro” phone. So, one of the Bright Lights is going home, viewers. Vote for one member of the Bright Lights to be eliminated. But do not vote in the comments! Why not? Because voting is now on www.inanimateinsanity.com! Use the link in the description. Simply click on the vote button of the contestant you dislike the most. Voting ends on April 8th, 2013. Okay, I think every window is repaired. Oh…

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