Breaking Bad Parody: Breaking Balsamic

Breaking Bad Parody: Breaking Balsamic

It wasn’t my first if truth be told, it seems as if this is a story of old Traveling the world without a dime, only hoping to buy sometime and maybe even a little bit of wine. But if lessons of the past prove to be true, I must make haste, lest my rent becometh past due. Italy, oh Italy! Your splendor’s well known, but this economy has be foretold to be as dry as a bone. Modena, home of traditional balsamico I arrived, but I fear I must master my Italiano to survive. One stroll through your markets awakens my senses, but surely your products will help make me some serious cents-es. The markets aroma and charm tell a different tale, ripe with opportunities to make some screela, even it is means jail. In traditional balsamic rests the secret to Italian riches, in due time, I’ll take all of Berlusoni’s bitches. Who is this sinister stranger who beckons? Is it he who will bring me my balsamic making lessons? Okay, Okay, this crazy man waves, It must be the Italian way. He sure seems friendly, such luck. Let’s see what’s next…what the fuc…!?!?!?! I do not know where I am, surely this cannot be another scam? The question is where do we go? Is this the place where I can make some dough? Let’s recall quickly to be clear and how and why I have been stranded here. It all began innocent indeed with a simple reply to the balsamic advertisement of need. But why the mask and all the hustle when I called them intrigued and docile? Inside I venture to find my Italian fortune Lost and confused in this sea of distortion. Man, this villa is so eerie and so quaint. Makes me feel like I may just faint. Ah finally a sign of life an Italian women dressed up…possibly my future ex-wife. “Bonjourno!” “You must be Turner” “Yeah…nice to meet you” “You are late, follow me” “Yeah, the guy just dropped me off…okay” “We produce aceto balsamico tradizionale di Modena…” “we take care of everything” “everything is under our control…” “…from the vineyard to the bottle. Capisce?” “You understand?” “Yeah, but ah…” “Yeah we move on!” “Look we wait the perfect time to cut our product…” “…and nobody touches it but us!” “Ok?” I do not know what of this Italian girl speaks her manners suggests she finds me to be a creep? The Italian beauty’s fanatic gestures and demands make me wonder does she think I am an Italian man? Her pant suit suggests a serious tone One that emasculates me to the bone. “We have been doing traditional balsamic vinegar for the past six generations” She is so senitive about her barrels Am I really so feral? What does she want I am asking you to get this money I must make it through. How do I exit without seeming rude? I do not want to end up dead in the nude. I have taken many a job but never had I planned to work for the mob. “Take a seat” “He has decided he wants you to cook for us” “Yeah and what if I don’t want to cook for you?” “You don’t have a choice” Should I take arms against this troubled see? Or is a solution to just flee? “Now it is time for you to cook-a” “The master chef will be here shortly” “Good luck-a!” What have I done for the sake of greed? This situation is more dangerous than I had planned for indeed.” Get out alive and rich that is my core it’s a consummation devoutly to be wished for. “You need a light?” “Probably, you shouldn’t be smoking…” “It gives you cancer.” “Or you could blow us all up.” “And now…we cook” “You are an excellent cook” “but I want you to be a master chef in this family…” “You’ve learned how to be an excellent cook” “A master chef” “So how to make the real good, tradizionale balsamic” “But now you have to wait at least 12 years” “To taste your product” “Will you come back?” “Are you going to pay me?” “or…no…aaa…” “I think that you will be repaid” “by the quality of what you have done today” “Oh, I’m fucked” I am free to go, that’s where we are 12 years seems a bit egregious far and yet it worth the time if quality is on your mind. The way you live is what defines you. I tell you my dear friend what if you could taste the spirit of the land In theater you would call it the lead role and the main ingredient is Villa Bianca’s restless soul Italy, Oh Italy! I ask where art thou? It’s captured in this bottle of Antica Acetaia Traditional Balsamico


13 thoughts on “Breaking Bad Parody: Breaking Balsamic”

  • Emilia Romagna Tourism says:

    @Turner Barr  [Around the World in 80 Jobs] last year had the pleasure of spending time in the #EmiliaRomagna region thanks to #BlogVille #Italy , and fell in love with Traditional #Balsamic and the entire process that goes into its perfection. 
    He has done jobs all over the world, from working with tigers in #Thailand to making tequila in #Mexico , but his jobs in #Italy , particularly making balsamic in Italy, have been his favorite! 
    Read here about his adventure > =)
    @Antica Acetaia Villa Bianca 
    @Città di Modena @Emilia Delizia 
    @EMILIA ROMAGNA GUSTOSA  @Fine Tastes of Modena 

  • A travel parody on Breaking Bad with one one of my favorite jobs in Modena Italy. Check out Breaking Balsamic. Flame throwers and Godfathers ensue. Breaking Bad goes Italian: Breaking Balsamic #italy   #breakingbad  

  • This. This has made our day rather wonderful. What a great film and fun take on one of our favourite shows! #BreakingBad #inEmiliaRomagna #BlogVille  

  • Chiara Bonacorsi says:

    I'm from Modena and I gotta say man, this is pretty damn good!! Well done Turner Barr, it's hilarious and smart,  the execution as well is great! Thumbs up!

  • Sorry to comment on an old video but this is amazing. thank you for creating it. It was good therapy for my volunteering days back in Italy. 😉

  • Hey turner, new sub..youre videos are really funny and inspiring. Where are you living now? Looks like you havent made videos in a couple years. Would love an update. Hope youre well man

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