#AskGaryVee Episode 102: Patience, Headlines, & Dads Joining Instagram

#AskGaryVee Episode 102: Patience, Headlines, & Dads Joining Instagram

– On this episode we talk about headlines, self-awareness, and why your
dad showed up on Instagram. (upbeat music) ♫ Gary Vee ♫ You ask questions ♫ And I answer them ♫ This is ♫ The #AskGaryVee Show ♫ Hey everybody,
this is Gary Vay-ner-chuk and this is episode 102 of the #AskGaryVee Show. So last night was a long night. I got some four dinners and an after party business networking. Got home at 4:15 in the morning, so a little bit more tired than normal. Happy Memorial Day, everybody in the U.S. and happy weekend to
everybody outside the U.S. India, let’s get into the show! (laughing) I love that part. For some reason it’s like my
favorite part of the show. – [India] It’s getting
longer and longer. – I’m like literally it’s
gonna eventually be like let’s. I’m gonna just start
comin’ up with different. – [India] You’re just
being really weird today. – DRock, stop trying to,
like, force the show. You’re such a over-producer. Alright, India, let’s get into the show. – [Voiceover] Lyndon wants to know, “What kind of headlines
attract you on social media?” – Lyndon, it’s a great question. I think the interesting
part about this question is I think a lot of different
headlines attract me and I think the headline
copy reading call it the Buzzfeed-ification of Media is fully in play now. I mean, when you go look with a, it’d be fun to ask
Steve this question. It probably hurts your, actually nah, that’s not true. I’m curious what your take is on the fact that like the New York
Times now does this, right? Like literally the whole
world has gone slang and five, you know, ways to do this. Like it’s all headline copy marketing. It’s the stuff I built Wine Library on on email marketing headlines. It’s just become the game. I’m not quite sure exactly
what’s grabbing my attention. Usually it’s around the subject matter, so usually things that scare me, like, “Jets running backs in trouble.” Oh no! You know, like? But I’m not sure but the reason I wanted to answer the question is because I think it’s very important for everybody who’s watching the show. I know a lot of people
here are go-getters, entrepreneurs, and do-gooders, whether you’re trying to
raise money for your charity or whether you’re trying to sell a boot for the winter, you need to really think about the copy on everything you put out. It is an absolute variable to success. You can follow all the structural advice that I’m giving you, but when you get to writing the copy on a Facebook dark post or a
Pinterest post or on Twitter, if you’re not good at that, if you’re not good at
grabbing someone’s attention, you’re in big trouble and so I’m not sure what’s
grabbing my attention but I know that the
person behind writing it is doing a good job. That’s how you answer the question without answering the question. By bringing value to your audience, not by dodging, Steve. – [Steve] What have I dodged? – No nothing, you were laughing, your laugh was like (laughs sinisterly). (laughing off screen) – All right, let’s go. – [Voiceover] Bruce asks, “Why is Twitter “so much like a wall
in a public bathroom?” – Bruce, this is a tremendous question. I think the, I would argue that it’s not. I would argue that Secret was more like a public bathroom because you don’t know who wrote it. And I think that what’s scarier probably by your rant is that people are actually putting their
faces behind these comments that you think are so lame or interesting or aggressive or however
you’re positioning it. So I would argue that they’re not. I think that they’re, Twitter’s much more like, you know, a cocktail party where people are just making statements or a gathering of friends or you know less of the bathroom stall. To me that’s Secret and all the other anonymous, Yik Yak, and all the other anonymous place. That’s more the psychology. You write something that
nobody can attribute to you. Bathroom business jargon. (laughing offscreen) – [Voiceover] From TagLine– – Sh (audio cuts out) people say in business and bathroom. (laughing offscreen) This is gonna be one of the great black and white episodes
of the #AskGaryVee Show. You guys are lovin’ this, right? All right. – [Voiceover] TagLine Tom wants to know, “What are some easy ways
to become more self-aware?” – TagLine Tom! I think there’s one hack for
becoming more self-aware, which is asking people around you and creating a safe zone, a permission for them to actually tell you about you from their perspective, and it’s on you to create that safe place so that they actually tell you things that you may not wanna hear, because what I think could happen is that you get chipped
away at and I think that ultimately if you
hear enough people say that you you’re too kind or too aggressive or full of shit or whatever it
is that eventually, you know, I gotta stop cursing ’cause
all the Facebook posts now you guys need to beep. That’s extra work for you guys. I like how you guys (mumbles). (laughing offscreen) You know I think that
that’s the one place, that’s the only hack I know. I don’t think there’s any other move. I think it’s about
getting people to tell you about yourself in safe environments. Be aggressive about that. Really seek out that feedback and then be man enough, woman enough, to eat it, really. And the way you get more of it is when a friend of you says, “I think you’re a little full of crap.” You know, you don’t end that relationship. You triple down on that relationship ’cause they’re givin’ it to you. And that’s, if you really
want self-awareness, you need to wildly, if you
wanna hack self-awareness I actually think it’s
predicated on having thick skin. I think that is why,
I really think so much of what I pull off is predicated
on how thick my skin is. My skin is thick. You know, I just can handle it. I just can. I hate it. I hate it! I hate, like, reading, like, you know, bad stuff about me. It’s devastating. But I respect it. I can accept it. I understand it. And I try to use it as something that I go on the offense
with going forward and so they’re learning moments and so, you know, if you
could get over yourself, right, and the funny
thing is, I don’t know, I feel like I’m so
self-aware I’m not sure if, I think but I, you know, even like, even people that I think are
not self-aware around me, it’s funny to me how
self-aware they really are. It’s just you don’t let your brain accept your shortcomings. As we, oh, the self-awareness video. This’d be a good time to click it up. If you haven’t seen this, this is some of the best work. Who is this? This was DRock or Stephan? Stephan, this is great. This was great, this was great. Show him. This was great. Show him, show him. Great. Watch the video. Link it up and like show a little still. You know what? DRock, end in like a little, I want 13 seconds of it. Your choice, go. – [Voiceover] This is a word
that is rarely talked about in our space that I wanna start building more attention for. Self-awareness. I wanna deliver on this message so much. I would create a test or a drug that allowed people to become self-aware. One potion inject. Not hustle, not smart. Self-awareness. I don’t fear being self-aware. – All right, let’s keep going. – [Voiceover] Stephanie asks, “Like why is my dad
following me on Instagram? “Like noo that’s unacceptable.” – Stephanie, I have bad news. Every social network that you go to to try to get away from Pops, when they hit scale,
Pops is gonna show up. Hey Stephanie? It’s your dad! This knick knack thing is real cool! That’s what’s gonna always happen for the rest of your life. And by the way, let me get a little bit deeper on that. Steve, you were about to say something. – I was just gonna say something
for the end of the show. Hold it til the end of the show. – Do it, do it, ruin the end of the show. – We’re on Spotify! – Whaddya mean? – You excited? I’m excited, we’re on Spotify. The #AskGaryVee Show. – It’s on Spotify? – I sent you four emails yesterday. (laughing offscreen) – Guess it was a busy day. That is cool. – [Steve] Yeah. – We’re on, see? It was a black and white announcement. This is a black and white announcement. We’re on Spotify. This was not a color announcement. This was a black and white announcement. We’re on Spotify. – [Steve] Her dad’s on Spotify, too. – And Stephanie, going back to you, and the entire VaynerNation, soon you’ll be a part of it, Stephanie. Yes you will. You know, I know it was weird, that creep Alex hit you up that somebody answered your question
on Twitter randomly. I love this whole thing. Making Alex the creepy
guy is so fun for me. (laughing offscreen) Look, that’s what just happens, right? It happened with Facebook, it’s happening right now with Instagram. The youth establishes these new kind of community centers for our society and then everybody follows. That’s a very interesting dynamic because I think that’s the reverse of the way human nature has been for a very long time. And so I think that the
youth culture of our society is now establishing the
main community centers. Not the hot new club. That’s different. This is the out and out community centers of our society. It’s going to have very
massive long-term effects on us as humans. I think that’s why we’re living through a youthification that I talk a lot about. And so that’s why it’s
happening, Stephanie. – [Voiceover] Johannes says, “How do you balance
speed/hustle and patience?” Johannes is such a great name. I really like that one. It’s like Johanne and Pocahontas. (laughing offscreen) No, seriously. (multiple people speaking
at once offscreen) You weren’t thinking that? That’s what I was thinking. I was thinking that Johan Santana was dating Pocahontas and they were known as a couple as Johanntes. (person speaking indistinctly offscreen) Johan said there’s a real baseball player, leftie, and Pocahontas
is obviously Pocahontas. Okay, let’s go to it. (laughing offscreen) Obviously, this is. (laughing) I got it, Johannes. Right? – [Voiceover] (mumbles) (laughing) This is the best question
because the truth is I really believe that I’m a bridge, right? I’m pulling equally, very aggressively from both sides. That I’m a human contradiction. That if you really watch this show and it throws people off, as they get deeper into my content, that oftentimes I’m saying things that contradict themselves
’cause the truth is they both live in real
life at the same time and it’s about finding
that cadence and balance to guide through. I am massively, at a
global level, patient. But on a practical level,
and an execution level, I’m very fast, right? So it’s really, it really is
religion and church, right? Like at the highest,
like at the theoretical, at the, at the grey levels
of patient, long game, I’m aware that as long as I’m alive, I’m playing the businessman game and it doesn’t end tomorrow and if it ends tomorrow, I don’t know the outcome
anyway ’cause I’m dead. Right? And so, but in real life, I understand it’s a race and speed is a variable for
success to me in a big way. Hustle, and so like they’re, patience and speed are very much rubbing against each other but it’s like the diamond
comes from that, right? And so that’s the thing
that I think about. I find it very easy to do both. You have to understand, there’s people that are both in practical
and philosophical terms, and they have different outcomes. AKA there’s people that philosophically are not patient. They’re impatient. And they’re fast. And they look like the bad
version of what I am, right? They’re like hustlers and they’re like doing everything for themselves and they’re not patient. They don’t care about the long game and they’re just gonna take and they’re just gonna
take and take and take and gonna take fast and they’re gonna gather and I think that society,
the game rewards them and there’s a lot of
millionaires and billionaires that didn’t do it the right way and that’s what I think they look like. Then there’s a lot of people that are massively patient and slow, and those are the
enormous amount of people that, you know, in a business context, not in life, they’re probably some of the loveliest human beings that have ever been made because they’re slow and they’re patient and everything’s just lovely and let’s just like sit on the porch and, you know, drink peach tea for the rest of our
lives and like go slow. Just go real slow. Like let’s sit and look at stuff. Like let’s sit on the porch and look. Like look at stuff. Like a car just drove by. Great. Like I mean that, you know, is not interesting to me, either, and so that exists. So I actually think
what I do exists a lot. I think it’s the likable,
you know, aggressive person. And that’s, you know, they’re out there and there’s a lot of winners
that are good people. I really think that. If you look at my analogies, the speed part is really valuable, right? Like if you’re speedy and
selfish and impatient, you know, I think the other thing about the lack of patience and fast, you don’t have to be a bad person. I think it leads to mistakes. Right? That’s another variable layer here. You know, it’s funny that my brain went that first narrative. Here’s a second narrative. You’re going fast, you’re not patient, so you rush the outcome and you leave money on the table. You sold a company too soon. You weren’t as profitable as you could’ve been
because you missed things ’cause you didn’t see it
’cause you weren’t tactful. And so, you know, I think
it has essence of strategy. You know, somebody once said to me about Vayner, “Gary, you guys are so interesting.” He was trying to zing me a little bit, that we weren’t strategic enough. He said, “You’re so interesting,” but he’s like, “When
you get into the house, “I feel like a lot of times you guys “just run through the glass window “instead of opening the door.” It was a funny analogy. And then I looked at him and said, “Yeah, but we’re gonna own all the homes.” (laughing offscreen) I guess that’s a good way to end it. – [India] That’s good. – Cool. Question of the day. What are you, India, you get to ask
the question of the day. I know, you knew it was gonna happen. (India sighs) (laughing offscreen) – I don’t really know what I wanna know. What are your Memorial Day weekend plans? You’re gonna hate it. You hate it. – It’s almost weirdly
the thing I was gonna do. – What really? – Yeah. You keep asking questions. India will keep telling me to answer them. – I will. (laughing offscreen) – Let’s do it. We can maybe turn this. Yeah? – [India] You said you
wanted to make a video, too. – Cool, so let’s do it. (laughing offscreen) – [Steve] You can’t have nice things. (upbeat music)


65 thoughts on “#AskGaryVee Episode 102: Patience, Headlines, & Dads Joining Instagram”

  • Fir-fur-fur (not boots with the fur)… First. Watching this fresh like something hot out of the oven. (PS: @Gary Vaynerchuk  … Twitter @s)

  • #QOTD : I'll keep exploring my new place of residence – San Diego North county. Exciting times! @Gary Vaynerchuk, yes, being self-aware is hard but so valuable. Get you to evolve much quicker.

  • #QOTD wine, whiskey, cigars (yes!), sunshine, and possibly even Tequila-fest… could be a mistake, could be a #win. time will tell.

  • Lucas Siebeneicher says:

    You should have something like a theme switch, similar to black and white, when you answer unasked question and call it 'the not asked garyvee show'

    Great show 😉

  • Green Stripes Agriculture says:

    QOTD: First, Thank you India! We are going to sit by the water and watch the tourists, enjoying the fact that we don't have to go home because we are already there! (And work on my #RioProject)

  • Dude, Gary! I'm struggling going deep, or flat out getting involved in any other platforms besides FB for my printing business. (doing well on FB tho, i'd say over half my leads are coming from there). I did really well documenting my trip to NYC for your show and it lead to an incredible week for me when I got home. I know I need to be elsewhere, if time is limited and you had a printing business, what platform would you go to next? (**my times is limited because I'm wearing too many hats at the moment, but it's just necessary right now as I am growing) but I feel like there's a lot of room to grow in the market, I don't see any other printers, even vistaprint, doing social media right…

    QOTD: I will be working all weekend to fulfill orders and plan out marketing for the next week. I'm not mad about it!

  • QOTD – I basically have no plans and I love it.  I'm gonna wash dishes, do laundry, smoke cigars, drink a little, and that's it.

    My dude, I love you but you're tired.  For some reason I had a very hard time following you through the fast and slow contradiction.  Oh wait, maybe that means I'm tired.  Sorry.

    Have a wonderful weekend my friend.



  • @Gary Vaynerchuk you look way way to clean…bring the beard back and get a little dirty .  haha but seriously thank you for continuing the show…its always a fun watch!
    So…his weekend? serving our amazing customers at both my restaurants Morris tap and Grill in Randolph, NJ and Paragon Tapa and Table in Clark, NJ…ah yes, clark NJ, right next door to wine anthology…sound familiar?? Have a great relaxing weekend…#fireitup

  • ROOM FOR PEACE says:

    Really liked the vibe of this episode!  (Especially the brief rant about how cool Johannes name is 🙂

    QOTD: My husband and I are going to have a picnic by the water/go for a walk downtown – the weather is beautiful!  Hope everyone has a great Memorial Day weekend!

  • Dominick Capetillo says:

    QTOD: plans for the Memorial Day weekend include hitting a bbq with some friends and completing my ranks article for fantasy football top 100 and breakdowns of all positions should be up by Monday WOOP!

  • Michael Anthony says:

    Awesome shit this episode. Getting ready to go out and photograph 2 events tonight. Pushing out our IG Memorial Day Sale @clickgearclothingltd and going to take my first "day off" Since Christmas. Then Back to hustling

  • Lorenzo Peter says:

    I'm in a period of my life where I know a lot of people who are big hustler, smart, execute fast, have a good product … yet they don't ˝ make it ˝  and will never make it (some are like already 50-60 and in business since 20-30 years)… why do you think is that ?
    Like on paper, they check all the gary criterias of a good entrepreneur, yet …
    Is it because they lack the ˝ think big ˝ mentality, or …?

  • #QOTD Awesome episode Mr. V! I'm in Michigan with the family at their lake house this weekend so we will be enjoying lake things like kayaking, jet skiing, boating, fishing, smoking food, drinking some beer, making memories and eating a lot of food. THE END!

  • Common Man Cocktails says:

    #QOTD: My plans are to take new photos for our store website to promote a few of the products that should be selling better than they are (but people don't know about them), pack our orders for the weekend (people are buying online this weekend..that's what they are doing) and maybe hang out with my cousin up for my brothers wedding.

  • @Gary Vaynerchuk Hey team Gary, which is the episode where Lori Greiner ask question? And ALSO…. #askgaryvee  I love the idea/concept of the "Attention – Story – Sales" approach to business. So my question is… For someone new on building their youtube channel, what should they consider and also how should they approach it?

  • Paul Ramakers says:

    Hey Gary,
    Congrats with 100+ Gary V Show.
    How do you deal whit dividing the online and offline time for your children in the future. Gr. Paul

  • New Future Builder says:

    I love the patience and speed question. I think you've nailed it on the head. This is something I believe we all struggle with!
    QOTD: Work, Hustle, and delivering a workshop on daily habits at a non-profit.

  • Keep on running thru glass windows Gary!  India – I will be working on finishing my book on how to choose swimwear for a rectangle body type. 🙂


    Thanks you for the info on speed vs patience. It was very clearly stated and so valuable to me. How did you learn this?
    #QOTD Spending the day with a friend, walking in my beautiful neighborhood, Sierra Madre Canyon. I am soo fortunate.

  • If your having troubles getting more #real and #active #instagram followers, than just use InstaSharks com

  • Chad Solberg says:

    D ROCK… Whats up with cutting out the curses and cutting content? Oh… Facebook…

    #QOTD: I went to Denali National Park… camping on the Nenana and did some major hikes with my kids…. twas AWESOME!!!

  • Jose Martinez says:

    Speed and patience is a hard balance. We all want it now because we don't know how it ends tomorrow. I guess thats why everyone says its about the process not end goal. Great perspective tho. Loved this episode. I think your vids are sometimes better on less sleep lol.

    And MDW weekend, finished reading your book and took a ride on my Harley to Bear Mountain from Rutherford, NJ.

  • Virginia Wright-Johnson says:

    Love this episode! Appreciate the overall geekery and the discussion of self-awareness. QOTD-Rest, binge watching and family time! My QOTD for you.. when you were a small biz owner, how do you handle overly aggressive individuals in the digital marketing world? Appreciate you and the #vaynerstaff !

  • Roberto Blake says:

    I was away for Memorial Day weekend shooting photos. Posting all over the instagram and social now that I've edited them.

  • This isn't a right hook, it's more of a southpaw leftie jab (still pretty intense) – but I wrote this article about writing headlines that has ~350 recommends on Medium with lessons from 50's ad men like Ogilvy that still stand true today https://medium.com/coffee-time-1/this-title-doesnt-work-8669692218f9

  • Taylor Olmstead says:

    Talking about Youth-ification, what do you think of Cracked's argument that things like the PG-13 rating are lowering the target age for our cultural products on the whole?

  • #qotd visited the fam. 🙂

    Also, from a future episode I would like to add that I think Twitter video is the shit and I have some ideas on how I'm going to use it. kapow!!! 🙂

  • Hayden Warmington says:

    Your search engine brought me here, I found my answer in the balance of speed/patience and think balancing desire/contentness is analogous

  • Lindsay Dusenberry says:

    Thank you for keeping your head in the game, and your heart in the right place. You've helped me so much more than you'll ever know.


  • Urg! I wish that wasn't the question. Well it's not Memorial Day weekend here in 2017 or UK. But I am going to a memorial – my father in law passed away recently. He was a wonderful man, but he had aggressively progressing dementia and was suffering quite a bit. It's sad to lose him, but we lost him a while ago. Now his suffering is at an end

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