Bill’s been away fighting
a forest fire for weeks. He called me once
to say he missed me, so I sent him a pic of me
in a cute outfit. I expected “wow”
or a fire emoji. Instead I got… “Send more boobs”? I’m not mad, but I don’t want
to make it a habit of sending…nudes. Wait. You actually
sent boob pics? Yeah. How much smoke
did you inhale? This isn’t my number,
Alex. It’s the one
you called from. Because my phone died. So I borrowed
Creepy Craig’s. Wait. You sent Creepy Craig
a naked photo? Alex! Oh, my God!
There’s, like, 11?! Well, you — he kept asking! You think I’m as pervy
as Creepy Craig? I don’t know Creepy Craig! Well, he knows you! You really think I would
disrespect you like that? What else
did “I” ask for? Oh, don’t. Oh, my God.
Are you outside? You know,
I’ve always worried that maybe we were
just too different, but the fact that you think
I’m capable of writing “Do butt now —
Hit with magazine”? You know what? This isn’t working, Alex. No, wait! Can you at least
ask Craig to delete those?
I think you know
how to reach him!