From the Capital News Studios in Berlin – Ladies and gentlemen, from the studios of the LATELY SHOW in Berlin
… these are the LATELY NEWS … everything else is just fake news … That’s why we start… with the news.
from Germany: BERLIN To stop the daily car avalanches.
there are ideas, like z. B. further develop local passenger transport
or beer holders on all e-scooters, so that at least in the mornings you can enjoy a beautiful
I can enjoy cold beer. But that it was also in another direction to
more cars can go shows Berlin again.
Because here, the mayor in power Michael Müller and the Federal Lobby Transport Minister
Andreas Scheuer the world’s first inner-city Test track for automated and networked
Driving opened. The course runs from the Ernst-Reuter-Platz
across the Straße des 17. June to the Brandenburger Tor and is in total
3.6 kilometers long. Up to five cars will now be on the track.
and collect data. As we have just learned exclusively
the five vehicles since the start of the test, however. on Monday are still stuck in traffic jams and have
I only covered a distance of 15 meters. So, all five of them together. And by Berlin standards, this is already
very, very much! There are people in Berlin who are in an
traffic jam and are still before the Traffic jam end died again. LEIPZIG There’s nothing worse than the airport.
and nothing works anymore. It’s even worse, though.
the turn is finally to be taken and the airport must then be cleared. This is exactly what is happening at the international airport
Leipzig/Halle. Because an employee was a strong smoke formation
and that’s why he immediately had the Fire alarm’s gone off. And so the terminal was evacuated and the
Fire alarm thus put the entire flight operation lame. However, the trigger for this was not
a burning trolly. It’s at the bakery next to the terminal,
had the responsible bakery employee just forget the batch of bake-up rolls
out of the oven in time. After half an hour the normal
and the aircraft will resume flight operations. The employee in turn was promptly
and may not be allowed to be placed in the oven. at 100 meters. However, this promotion meant that
she will now be transferred to the BER and the local I’m supposed to run a bakery. And if she were to have bread there again.
I’m not gonna let anyone burn it anyway. . . .and I’m going to get out of here. Now, let’s move on to the news from
abroad: KOLZOVO Actually, humanity thought that the
smallpox had been eradicated a long time ago. However, there are still two strains of smallpox
Research labs. One of them is in Atlanta and is considered a breeding ground.
of “The Walking Dead” while the other one in Kolzowo near Nowosibirsk in
Western Siberia is. Now there was an incident right there,
than it was in the 5th and 6th. on the second floor of the lab. The lab has existed since Soviet times.
and served as a secret laboratory for the development of of bio-weapons. Among others also with dangerous smallpox strains. And it’s precisely these that could be detected in the explosion
must have been released. Although the local health department
have already given the all-clear signal that this is not happened, however, he traveled anyway.
Russian President Vladimir Putin extra now to Koltsovo to report from there: “It’s all right here in Western Siberia. There’s no smallpox infection here! That we’re evacuating the city right now.
with a nuclear bomb, “clean up” the area nuclear. has nothing to do with smallpox. And it’s just coincidental.” BARCELONA Drug smugglers get to the strangest
Ideas to smuggle drugs. Whether heroin is transported in condoms that are swallowed
will be. Or drugs in small submarines to the coast
to the hospital. Personally, I would try easier
and the 300 tons of cocaine simply via DHL send. If the drug dog at the DHL parcel service
he doesn’t have the problem with me. Besides, if customs see a container,
that says, “There’s drugs in here.” they think it’s too obvious and
don’t control it. Now, it’s just as obvious that a Colombian
tries cocaine worth 30,000 euros after the landing by the customs in Barcelona to
smuggling. On his head. Camouflaged by a toupee and a large
Hat. The officers had noticed him, because he was quite
was nervous and sweating extremely hard. Because of the thick plastic parcel, the toupee.
and the hat on his head. Today’s television business partial knowledge: Cocaine
worth 30,000 euros is what they call it, by the way, if someone at the next party with half-knowledge
a “Pro 7” board Friday. And finally … the FAKE NEWS medium
of the week … is this time unequivocally The “Schmacko Fatz” magazine Because it’s been seen that the failing
“Schmacko Fatz” magazine just stuffed. is with fake news. I used to put my money on another bank account.
in the way that he deserves to be today. of the most famous news anchorman west of the
Vistula. But I was just young and I needed this.
Money. So I had to do one or two things back then.
Peel banana. Or often work in a stooped position
and I didn’t have much text at the time. Sure, there were a few things that caught my eye.
think everyone should also have such experiences I’d like to do a little bit of this. Cause I was in a kitchen at the time.
I worked for a catering firm. I was all the more pleased when I saw the “Schmacko
Fatz” magazine in our cafeteria and this cheap in my plate goulash
I was able to hide. Of course I had the goulash plate from
at home, so that this could happen again. becomes clear for the cash register. But the “Schmacko Fatz” magazine made a big mistake.
this goulash no better. Although, it just occurred to me that I’m even
I didn’t work in a catering firm, but “Schmacko Fatz” is my porn name.
was. Therefore, be warned, “Schmacko Fatz.”
-magazine … the dark yellow LATELY FAKE NEWS card to you … and you’re standing right now
under our observation! That was the LATELY NEWS… See you around.
again … on Monday … and don’t forget:
Everything else is just fake news. – The LATELY NEWS with Florian Strzeletz
Everything else is fake news!