Dead horse… Flogged, dead horse. Flogged well… GOLD PEDDLER
G'day mate! Oh, shit. This gonna be a regular thing, is it? Look, I was just wondering if I can put a poster up in your shop? If it says “missing chicken”, the answer is a hard ‘no’. Ah, no it doesn’t… It's just umm Just wanna draw more people to my shop… What? No! I don’t want that! I want them here, eating my dead horse! Flogged! Dead horse-! Get your flogged dead horse here- Relax mate, we’re not even in competitive industries. Besides, I’ll make it worth your while… How? I’m gonna let you… put a poster about your shop… in my shop. You see? But- nobody’s coming to your shop! Yeah? That’s why you’re here! I may as well put a poster about my shop up in my shop! Alright, alright, it’s not like there’s a stampede here either… Yeah well I have exactly one more dickhead in my shop than you… Look are you gonna let me put my poster up or not? Ahh great. Full idiot bingo. SILVER PEDDLER
Ooooh! What’s that, is that a stick? It’s a poster, actually! With advertising! Oooh! A poster! With agbertising! La-di-dah…! Why do I get the feeling I’m gonna hate ‘agbertising’? Advertising! Nobody is gonna hate it! It’s just a catchy, repetitive message to convince people to buy your stuff! What? It’s just a catchy, repetitive message to convince people to buy your stuff! Sorry, come again? PEDDLERS TOGETHER
It’s just a catchy, repetitive message to convince people to buy your stuff! See he's got it I see it only works on dickheads. So what are you agbertising for? Advertising! My business. I’m getting the worst deja-vu… It’s an… advertising agency, actually! Nah, it’s more like migrai-ja-vu… What is it you actually, actually do? Well I am glad you asked…! You see what I do is I advertise for people to come to my shop When they want to advertise for people to go to their shop And I just use a catchy, repetitive message to convince people to Buy your stuff! That’s it alright! Just piss off! Take your poster, and piss off! Ah but wait, there’s more! Fuck off! Fuck the fuck off You fucking fuck! See, what he needs is a copy writer- Alright, alright! You know what you are? You’re scared of change, that's what you are! Stay in your square box, I’m outside it! See ya! Hi! So I was wondering if I could leave something here for people to see? Are you trying to agbertise?! GOLD PEDDLER
Advertise! (Clonk) Ow… Oh no, no, no… This isn’t advertising, this is completely different… This is branded content! Check this out… It’s today’s tablet; who gives a shit… See that front page? 90% of it is product placement brought to you by (Drumroll) My shop! You can’t even tell what’s editorial and what is sponsored. and for you, my good fellow we can create branded content for the low-low price of- (Thud) Ughhh Piece of shit trying to corrupt the news media and my integrity… Dead horse! Flogged, dead horse! Marinated in Cameralla content sauce! Get in quick, because we’re selling out!


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