Если бы Да кабы (2016). Фильм. Романтическая Комедия. Star Media

Если бы Да кабы (2016). Фильм. Романтическая Комедия. Star Media

Come in. Quiet. What? Looking at it at home through
the film is not good enough? Hurry. The disk is almost
completely covered. What am I even doing here? Your astrology —
is a bag of poo. If they catch us, they’ll expel me. No, they won’t. You’re the only hope and pride
of the Chemistry Department. They wouldn’t dare. And a bore. Here. Guys, it’s started! Quick, write a wish.
Right now we’re setting a positive program
for the next twenty years. Or a negative one. Look, if you don’t want, don’t do it. Stop it, guys! Let’s write our wishes,
Nadya will send them somewhere far away and in 20 years you’ll see that I’m right. Or I am. I want to marry a rich and successful man. I want to get married and have two kids…
Two. No. Three kids. This year I would like
to meet the love of my life. – Slava?
– What? How many wishes can I write? Just one. It’s not a wish shop. Damn it. If… If ifs and ans were pots and pans.
There’d be no trade for… Swingers. Done? Let me hide then. Wow. Yes, it’s a beautiful
astronomical phenomenon. I want to design an amazing collection and I want
Cardin to notice it at the Milan Fashion Week! Phew, we made it, thank God. Anna.
We’re approving this sample — V-8. Great. Ekaterina,
so, did they send the reply? Today’s the fourteenth. The girls and
I have our fingers crossed for you. Well, if you have your fingers crossed,
then I’m sure to make it this time. You’re gonna make it. We believe in you. Thank you so much. Natasha, are we on schedule? Ekaterina,
Director’s calling you. Hello, Boris. I’m sorry, I didn’t hear
your call. Sure, I’ll be there. Victoria, thank you. Good afternoon, Ekaterina. Good afternoon, Valentina. There is a girl waiting for you. Ekaterina, I’m here for you. Wait for me, just a second, please. – Okay.
– Good luck! Thank you very much. Hey, Katya, come on in. Well?! You’re invited to the Fashion Week! Thank you! Katya, you should read, carefully.
Read it. To ensure your participation you
need to make a contribution in the amount of 25,000 dollars. Wait, they didn’t have
that condition before. Kat, they’re giving you all the excuses.
A difficult economic situation… Well, twenty five thousand
for the show — it’s… And I also have to pay for the collection,
and organizational costs. It’s… It adds up to 75. Maybe, you should try
and talk to your father-in-law, huh? Here’s an idea. Look. I received an invitation
to the Fashion Development Center. Some guy from Paris comes here.
He’s a fashion historian, or something, but that’s not important.
The important part is that he is looking for
new names and new ideas and he will help the ind sponsors
to show their debut collections. You should go there. You really should.
It may be your chance. Thanks. Wipe your tears, come on. Excuse me. Ekaterina, I’m Nastya.
Anastasia Pyhikova. I’m a student. In a year I’m graduating from the design
institute just like you. Here. What is that? I want to be a creative designer. I have
so many unique ideas. Take a look. Oh, honey. Our company is designing
boring work clothes. If you want to get stuck in that routine,
you are welcome. But if you want to get creative… I do. Here! Find a sponsor
with a pocket full of money. Find him. If not, don’t get your hopes up. She’s just afraid you might outperform her. I’ll take a look at your
sketches, I will. But… Thank you. – Good bye.
– Have a good day. Good bye. Valentina, I’m not afraid
of anything anymore. She’s got the talent. Get out. Serezha? Graduated from the
Institute of Design and Architecture. His opinion is valued
by investors and sponsors. Hello. So, Kat? Are you accepting congratulations? Yeah, right. Same shit, different day.
Three times as much and in dollars. You mean like pay? What for? To be a part of the show. Have they lost their minds?
What are you going to do? A desperate foul. I don’t get it. Where are you anyway? Mariel Gallery. Do you know what celebrity is
coming to the town right now? Serge Pomerantsev. Who’s that? Come on, Nadya! The Institute. Our course.
Serezha Pomerantsev. Right! That weirdo in glasses who
followed you everywhere you went? That one. You wouldn’t believe but he is
this it- couture critic. I’ll call you back. Okay. Follow me, my problem student. Good evening, lovely people! Welcome! There’s
so many of you! Hello! Hello! Hi there! Good evening, everyone! Hello! Ladies and gentlemen, unfortunately the hall
is not big enough to accommodate everyone. Please, accept our apologies, do not crowd
here to avoid unnecessary accidents. There is a great cyber cafe nearby where
you can watch the online broadcast on the web-site shown in your leaflets! Go that way, please. Excuse me, miss, are you…
Are you Sergey Pomerantsev’s Secretary? I am Monsieur Pomerantsev’s
personal assistant. Could you, please,
give him my contacts? And who are you? We went to the Institute
together, we were friends. Are you Vladislava Prokhorova? No. I’m Ekaterina Kolesnikova. You’re not on the list. But I need him. Are you sure that Monsieur Pomerantsev
needs it? I don’t think so. It’s not your call.
Just give him my contacts. Or it’ll be the last day
of your career. Ladies and gentlemen,
today is Valentine’s Day, and I would like to talk to you
about love. The love for travelling. About that God’s gift to please
the human’s eye, mind and soul. We all love to bring
souvenirs from our trips. A bottle of wine from Chile,
a sophisticated mask from Venice, or a shell from the bottom
of the Caribbean Sea. I always bring ideas and
talents from my trips. [Bravo! Bravo!] Balloons! Buy yourself a balloon!
Buy a balloon for your loved one! No. Thank you. Buy some balloons! Pick some. This one. What does the future hold for us? Where
do we look for joy and inspiration? It is a very special
page in the books of our lives. So, I encourage you, ladies and gentlemen,
To travel. In time and space! And bring
the most interesting things! Everything wild! Unique! Bring me the receipt, please. No way! Slava! Oh, it’s you again. Did you pass my card to Monsieur Pomerantsev? Monsieur Pomerantsev did remember you,
it took him a while, though. But he cannot meet with you,
he has to catch a plane to Milan in two hours. Well, could you give
him these folders? It is very important for him. Very important. Thank you. Well, did you get in? Oh, Lesha, I don’t want to talk about it right now. Another fail? I did not fail. But now
it costs three times as much. Are you upset? It’s a beautiful dress. Thank you. I picked the right shade of roses. I’m sorry, I didn’t buy you anything. Well, I bought something for both of us. It’s cool, don’t you think? I flew here on Valentina’s Day
and I brought to you in my pecker… Lesha, we’ve talked
about it a thousand times. Yes, starting from the day that we got married.
It was 15 years ago. Maybe it’s high time for this bad boy
to fly right through our window? Plus, we can hardly collect that much
money in such a short period of time. It makes you happy, doesn’t it? Thank you. Such an amazing gift. You know how to support a girl when she feels down.
And hit where it hurts the most. You’re being unfair, Kat. What do you want me to do, Lesha? I’m tired of this everydayness!
And that company! And the evenings that are alike
with boring songs and sour wine. What’s wrong? Don’t you get it? No, I don’t. I’m trying to do everything. Everything it takes to make us happy.
I took this damn auditing job. But I can’t pay for your show
in Europe right now. Well, maybe we should talk to dad
about it? Great! He pulled the plug on us! I go to these stupid banks
and they startle once I tell them my name. Katya, Kat, listen,
maybe it’s not the most important thing? I mean, I didn’t become
a famous musician. But it was your choice. I don’t want to be like that. It was my choice. You’re right. When Dad told me to choose between you and financing of my first
album, I made my choice. Lesha, don’t start, okay?
I also had to abandon everything, when your Dad offered me heaps
of gold to get out of your life so he could marry you
and that… who was she?… His partner’s daughter
or something like that. So… Look, maybe both of us
made the wrong choice? Maybe we still can get it right? What are you talking about? I have no regrets.
The only thing that matters is that we’re together. And that is one more thing that matters to me
it’s to make my dream come true. I am not ready to wash gertrudes,
change diapers. Not to be able to sleep, you know.
Do you understand that? You don’t.
I’m sorry, I need to be by myself right now. Thank you for a lovely evening. Just like that. Nad, hi. Where are you? – Sitting here with this slacker.
– What do you mean? I’m still at the university.
Working on somebody who’s been missing his classes! Can I come over? – Sure.
– Great. Taxi! Oh, I’m sorry. – Never mind.
– Happy holiday. Thank you. Hey, lady. Do you like this song? Where do you know it from? My Dad’s singing it all the time!
It’s a nice song, right? Right. Show the students some support. Yeah, we’re raising money for a party,
a Valentine’s Day Party. Please. Thank you. Thank you so much. Good bye. Thank you. Happy holidays. We’ve got the cash! Tell me something, Mitrofanov,
why the hell did you choose to slave away here? Yes. What? I mean, I’m not asking
how you managed to get into the university. I just want to know
why you did it. Nadezhda, you wouldn’t believe
but from the first class at school I feel in love with this
Queen of all sciences! Stop it, pal.
Until you figure out what that pink stuff in the tube is, you
shouldn’t dream of getting out of here! Sodium? Tell Ekaterina ‘thank you’! Or I would’ve killed you
for my evening that you ruined. Thank you, Ekaterina. And hello. – That’s it, go back to work. Hey there.
– Hi. Well? What’s up with Pomerantsev?
Did he turn into this hot-shot critic? Nad, you should see him! So, did you tell him about your problem?
Will he help you? I didn’t even manage to come up close to
him. His secretary just brushed me off. Coffee? Sure. ‘We have a flight to catch
to Milan in two hours!’ Are the kids with Igor? Our Daddy is pulling yet another
psychological experiment today. Is he the subject or the object? We’re gonna have to wait and see! Enough, Kolesnikova, don’t you distract me
with your smooth talk! What’s wrong? Lesha and I had a fight.
Today’s our day. So he brought me a stork with a bassinet
in its pecker. Do you know what it means? I know what it means for Lesha. You’ve been
promising to give him a baby or fifteen years. All he is asking for is a baby. I can’t do it, Nad. Look at me.
What kind of a mother am I? You know, my mind is busy thinking of sketches
and collections! I can’t think of anything else! My mind is also full of
formulas and ideas, you know. Nonetheless, there are three crazy kids
running around my apartment. Well, it’s you. It was your dream!
And it came true. And by the way, Slava’s
dream also came true. And Pomerantsev found the time
to meet it, by the way. 15 years ago I should’ve
chosen Pomerantsev. What? There was nothing to choose. What about his talent? His determination?
You wouldn’t believe how he’s changed. So what? I would’ve had my own fashion house by now.
I would’ve lived in Paris. If only I hadn’t… If ifs and ans were pots and pans,
There’d be no trade for… beer drinkers. Nadezhda, I burned my finger. Well, spit on it. Kat, and you too, spit on it.
Lesha is your soulmate. Assistant Professor Sidorova, you’re a scientist. There are
no soulmates! You should know that. Talk, Igor. What’s wrong? What kind of blotches? Allergy? Look, the connection is bad,
I’ll go talk over there. Wait, first check
my French lipstick. There you go. I you say ‘allergy’.
Yep, I don’t know yet. It’s not just about that lazy ass.
Katya’s here. She and Lesha had a fight. It’s okay. I’ll pick it up right away. Ekaterina Maksimovna. Mikhailovna. Please, don’t say anything to
Nadezhda Andreevna. Okay? I’m not doing that well as it is. I won’t. I want to design an amazing collection,
and I want Cardin to notice it at the Milan Fashion Week. Didn’t your mom tell you
it’s not polite to read somebody else’s letters? I can’t read them, but you can, right? Is somebody asking for trouble? I’ll shut up now. I would like to meet the love of my lie
this year. Well, Lord help me. Hey, are you okay? Wake up. What happened? Well, there was an explosion. I passed out.
I’ve just come around. Let me help you. Have we been here all night? It looks like so. Where’s Nadya? I don’t know. The door’s closed. What do you mean ‘closed’? Hello! Somebody! Nad! Hey, slacker, where are you? I’m here! How did you get there? I jumped. Ekaterina, I’ve got a class at
8:30, and I need to get to the dorm. I can’t be late anymore.
You should jump, too. Give me your purse first. Don’t be afraid. I’ll catch you. Aaaa! And I thought you’re the same age as Nadezhda.
You look great. I can tell you are looking for trouble. I’ll tell everything to Nadezhda.
She’ll never give you a pass. We might see each other again. You again? There’s this thing… What thing? I mean, this thing. Did you slack at Russian
classes, too? The dorm isn’t there. Second quarter of 2003. There are a foundation pit and a crane there. What’s going on? Yep, that’s it, see you. Yep. Bye-bye. Excuse me, please.
There used to be a bus stop here. – Here?
– Where is it? Yeah. There wasn’t any bus stop. Do you have a signal?
I can’t get it no matter what. It’s downtown, and there’s no signal. What’s that? Yeah, I don’t get it. What’s going on? Holy cow. Could you give me your device? I need to make a call. No. It’s too expensive. Excuse me. Hey, dirty boy!
Do you have a phone? Nadezhda took my phone
so that I wouldn’t cheat. Oh, can’t I get a break? Okay. Wait! Wait! Wait! Excuse me, could you,
please, call the police? Maybe I should call gendarmery? This guy stole my bag. Please,
call the police. What police? The police is in London
or Paris. Get lost! Wait! Wait! You’re done, bro. Dude! You want some more? Don’t punch me. I just
I lost my mind when I saw that thing. Don’t try to sweet-talk me. I only saw it in the movies.
To see such a thing in two thousands. Wait, what year is it? Two thousand. She’s kind of a lunatic, you know.
Police, police! Yeah? Maybe she’s a foreigner? No, she seems Russian. Okay. Well, then. Thanks. Could you write more readably.
What did he steal from you? Purse. Laptop and smartphone. I didn’t get
the last word. Oh God. A mobile phone. Ah. A mobile phone is missing — that’s good.
I mean, bad. Could you give me your
mobile phone, I need to call my husband. Good one. To get such a toy
I need to save for like six months. Excuse me, what year is it? What year do you think it is? Sixteen. Look, pretty face, are you
fooling us or are you actually out of your mind? Can I go to the restroom? Sure. You wouldn’t do it here. I’ll show you the way. Freaky! Be quick! Will you come in with me or you’ll wait outside? I told you to be quick! Valentina? What’s wrong with you? I’m Marina. I’m sorry, what year is it? Girl, are you high or something?
It’s 2000! There goes your ‘if ifs and ans’. Millenium! Well, now I won’t miss
my chance for the world! Yes, that’s right: a mental clinic.
I’m telling you: the girl’s insane! She’s in her twenties.
She has no ID. Okay. Mister militiaman, I’m sorry,
please, I pulled a joke on you. What? I mean, the thing is I’m a student
at the Theater Institute and they told us to do a scene study. I mean, I had to take a chance.
I won’t do that anymore, I promise. – So, you’re an actress.
– I am. Look, actress, I can put you in jail for
15 days! We’ll rehearse together. Please, don’t.
Let me go, please. Who’s going to identify you? My husband’s away on a business trip. Former classmates.
We’re leasing an apartment together. Also actresses? Exactly. What’s up with you? What’s up with me? You’re different. What do you mean ‘different’? Don’t act a fool. What is this thing? What?
Did you run out of the hair dye? You’re talking about this? I’m just taking
a leadership course. What? It’s kind of like autotraining. Don’t talk to me like that.
Why are you wearing a carpet? Slava, wait.
How did you end up in the militia department? You wouldn’t believe, this guy stole my purse.
With my ID and… Hold it! Nadya, look.
She’s wearing felt boots! That’s crazy! It’s a good thing you caught me,
or I wouldn’t understand anything! Dude, you’re tripping.
That’s unreal — 32 Gs, 2 nuclei. I’ve got 4 Gs in 486, and it’s more than enough! Look, if you don’t believe me, that’s fine! Mind-blowing. Yeah, guys, wait
for me for three seconds, will you? I’ll be right back. I’ll grab some coffee and be back. Okay? She’s being weird. I can see that. I’m sorry,
how can I get to that room? Through that hall and to the left. What? What’s wrong?
Will you order anything? Coffee to go, please. What’s that thing? I’m sorry. Kat! Are you okay? Where’s coffee? Ah… All they have is instant coffee,
but I don’t drink it. Did they tell you that
at your autotraining? Yep. Let’s go, girls. OMG. What is that? Did I actually wear this? I need
to redesign it like right now. You never took that jacket off
until last night. Well, it’s gonna be a coat now. Girls, where are my pins? I put them in your drawer. I’m going to make it longer. I’ll take some faux leather, cut the sleeves off
and turn them into pockets. Exactly. Where did you get all those ideas from? I’ve been thinking about it the whole time. No matter how much you think,
you can’t do better than Chanel! Are you sure? By the way, she also
started with designing work clothes. What do you mean ‘also’? I mean, never mind… Just thinking out loud. Well, hello, City Network!
Well, I say we go to bed. Agreed. And I have nothing else left to do Night, guys. Good night. Good night. Wow, Katya! What did you do to yourself? Changed my image! You’re a bomb! Thanks. That’s what I’m going to look like from now on. Kat, wanna go clubbing tonight? Enough, we have to go. We’ve got other plans. Serezha, hi. Hello, Katya. You look amazing. Thank you, I value your opinion. Why are you talking to him?
Go, get lost. Let’s go. Slava, wait! Why are you so hard on him? First, I’m not Slava, I’m Vladislava. Second, hard on him? What are you
talking about? He’s a squirrel! That’s it, guys. His permitted fifteen
minutes are over! We’re out of here! Are you stupid?
What if he makes us work for it? By the way, he doesn’t care
tomorrow’s Valentine’s Day! By the way, somebody’s invited me
to a party. Today’s the 13th? Yes. Guys, Boris is ill! And
will be for a long time! Ill? Guys, why are we hanging out here?
Boris is ill! Let’s get out of here! Wait. They’re gonna send
Needle as replacement! Hell no, he’s ill, end of story. Look, guys, it is Needle! I don’t understand! What’s this meeting
about? Go to the classroom! Now! Let’s go. How come you know that? Know what? That they’re gonna send
Needle for replacement? I didn’t know that. I just meditated
and saw what was going to happen. Don’t try that on me. Tell me. In life any little thing can be used
as a hint for a true solution. The thing is to be able to
notice it on time. Enough with talking! Oy, the squirrel is meowing. You are absolutely right. The most
important thing is to notice it on time. I’ve been thinking. Ah, what? What have you been thinking about? Soon there’s going to be a competition for young
designers ‘Dreaming of Fashion of the ХХI Century’. The winners will go to
the Milan Fashion Week! So? Maybe we could participate together? I’ve got a couple ideas,
and you could make them come to life. Yes! Sure! Great. Milan. I don’t get it! Quiet! I’m sorry. So, the color and structure of the fabric
should coexist in harmony. Wow. A couple days ago
such an idea wouldn’t even come to you. Well, that was a couple days go. It’s like the whole life
for an ant! No, I’m serious. You’re so different. Good different or bad? Well, I don’t know. I mean, you’re so confident,
so strong, independent. Is that coming from your autotraining? Well, sure! Hi, guys! Hi. There is a new art cafe. Maybe,
we could go tomorrow? Wanna check it out? What day is tomorrow? Tomorrow’s the 14th,
Valentine’s Day! We might meet some
cute guys there. I’m not going. I can’t. Serge and I
are going to work. We have a competition. What about you? Nerd? Neither can I.
I’ve got a report to make. Okay. Oy… Kat, what is that? It’s neither here nor there. Why are you saying that? In a couple years
it’s gonna be the main trend, baby. Did the squirrel tell you that?
If you keep doing that, you’re gonna end up in a clothes repair shop. And what if that squirrel
is gonna turn into a big fashion star? And his opinion is gonna be value
by the best fashion houses of Europe and USA? Kat, tell me, did you eat something?
Why are you talking like that? I didn’t eat anything. And unlike some people,
I try to be logical about it, to analyze the present
and forecast the future. That’s quite the autotraining. Since you know so much about
what the future holds for Pomerantsev, maybe you’ll tell me and Nadya
what’s gonna happen to us, huh? Oh! Hmmmm! Nadya’s gonna get married to a psychologist husband. Three kids. Two
boys and a girl. Come on. And where am I going to meet this psychologist guy? At a students’ conference.
In Prague. This fall. You guessed wrong.
I’m going to the conference in April! An what’s going to happen to me?
What’s my husband going to be like? He’s going to be rich. But then he’ll leave you, but you’re
going to make good money. As an esthetician. Me? An esthetician? Have you lost your mind? Now I’m going to tell you
what my future’s going to be like. I’m going to have a rich husband.
And he’s not going to leave me ever. And you both are going to die out of jealousy! I’ll get that. Wow! Look who’s here. Hi. Hi. Is it too late? No. You’ve come exactly
during the visiting hours of the future fashion star. Can I help you? Serezha. I’m… Thanks. Katya, I just
wanted to… I want to. If you don’t mind,
discuss some ideas. Come on in! Sure. Your designs are genius! Katya!
Much better than mine! Outstanding! I’ve got more sketches in the kitchen.
Come, I’ll show you. – Let’s go.
– Tea? – Sure.
– Kat! – What?
– Hey! Shhh! Don’t you see? Look
at him! He’s nothing, he’s… In 16 years you’ll see him and be all over
him, I’m telling you! We’ll see. What if she’s right? What? What are you talking about? Great. Let’s go,
we should let geniuses work. Let’s go. Very beautiful. Especially this detail. – Good afternoon.
– Hello. My name is Serge Pomerantsev. Who can I give the submission
for the Fashion of the XXI Century to? To Anna. Creative Director. And where can I find her? Follow me. Well, that’s so sweet of you. Just a sec. Good afternoon, Boris. Hi there. Do we know each other? Come in, please. Yes. I mean, I know you. Anna, may we come in? Good afternoon.
We are students at the Design Institute. And we brought to you our
work to submit for the competition. Show me then! Well, the collection is called ‘The Dust of Rose’. We used the colors
and the motives of Bedouin clothes. By the way, your beads have a similar design.
Oh my God, they’re amazing. We believe that the design of our collection is mostly
folk and postmodern. The color range reflects
the trends of the new type: organic that will be very in this XXI century
amidst the technocratic civilization. That’s interesting and unexpected. I’d even
it’s way too unexpected. I think it looks more like
the twenty second century. Believe me, this trend
will soon become the it-trend in fashion! Yeah? And what makes you so confident? You know, Ekaterina, she’s my co-author,
she’s got the most amazing instinct! Sometimes I’ve got this feeling
like she’s a guest from the future. Quiet, quiet. We’re gonna
wake up your roommates. They’re deep asleep. Put some ice on it.
I’ll call you tomorrow. I wanna know how’s your leg. And I’m gonna let you know what an amazing
musician you are. You’ve got great voice! – Did you actually like it?
– I did! Well, I gotta go. – Will you call me?
– I will! – Sure?
– Yes. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. I’ll wait. Bye. Nadya! Nad! Nadya! We’re friends! Slava, you’re gonna
make me stutter. Today I won’t even get mad at you about ‘Slava’! Interesting. What happened today? Today, on Valentine’s Day I happened to meet my one
and only. Who? His name is Alexey Kolesnikov.
He’s a son of a well-known banker and my future husband! Yeah, right, husband! Why wait? He’s awesome! He or his Dad’s wallet? Both! Well? Where did you meet him? At the new art cafe. The cafe where you and Katya
did not want to go. He’s a musician, he’s in a band. It doesn’t matter. The girls told me
that they saw him in a magazine. Well, banker Kolesnikov
and his family! Well, did you come up to him for an autograph? Yeah right! I used my tried-and-true
method. He runs into me! Ouch, ouch. Strained ankle. Hurts so much. Long story short, he brought me home.
And he took my phone number! You’re a quack! The end justifies the means. Girls, let me sleep! What? Jealous? I’ve had enough with your stupid stories. And I’ve had enough with your stupid designs! Girls, stop fighting. I’m gonna get married! Married! Married!
Married to a banker! Aaaaah! Are you okay? I’m fine! I’m fine! Hello, Lesha, hi. How are you doing?
Oy, the leg hurts. The leg hurts! I won’t even go to the Institute today. Give me a ride? Do you have a car?
Oh, your Dad’s car. No, thanks, listen, I still will have
to walk from one class room to another. I’m gonna take a day off.
What are you going to do? Out of town? Can I go with you?
We could breathe fresh air. Okay. I’m waiting. Bye. Oh-la-la. I’m so happy!
Lord! Ahhh! Guys! Feeling like a party? A
Thousand and One Night tea. Wow! Tea? That’s quite a splurge. Yes, it is! And from now on I’m going
to live of at least a million. Apartment, car. That’s because
he’s come into my life! Excuse me. I’m not interested. Sure, you’re not interested.
Katya, jealousy is bad. Do you know? Ah! That’s it! We’re calling
the Sanitary Station. Squirrels are under our windows. Slava, stop making fun
of him. If he becomes a huge star as Katya says you will have to make your way to him
through a crowd of fans, but he will refuse to talk to you. Squirrels don’t become stars,
they don’t have the guts! It’s my Kolesnikov who
will become a star! No, he won’t. With a Dad like that, he sure will!
Or do you want a bet? Like I have nothing else to do. Sure. Nad, you want tea or what? I do! Sure. And how many times should I tell you?
I’m Vladislava! Vladislava! Vladislava! Girls, hi.
Do you happen to be Vlada’s friends? What if we are? Do you happen to be Alexey? What if I am? Will she be ready soon? She’ll be out any minute now. Is something wrong? We’ve met before.
At the art cafe on Raduzhnaya Street. I play there from Thursday to Sunday.
Well, I don’t think so. I would’ve remembered you. Come see me play. You won’t regret it. Thank you. Why are you so confident? I’m not. I’m not at all.
But still you should come! Hi. Hi. Oy, Oy, Oy. Hi. Careful. Hi. How’s the leg? It’s fine. It’ll be okay till the wedding day. Bye. Bye, girls. Nadya, bye. Did you like him? Who? Anyway, bye. It’s for you! Thank you, Serezha. Why are you so gloomy? Is something wrong? Tell me: can you change your destiny? What if something’s meant to be in your
life, but you decide to change it? You know, if a person
wants something really bad, he will achieve it. And if
doesn’t, he didn’t want it bad enough. You think? I think
it’s not that easy. Katya! Nobody knows
what’s meant to be. We are the ones in charge
of our own destiny. We will win this
competition and we’ll go to Milan! I wish I were as confident as you are. I am confident! You know, from
the moment that I have you near it’s like a whole
new creative channel’s opened for me! I have so many major ideas. You know, before I didn’t
even dare to dream that big! About Milan. About the competition.
About you. Serezha, let’s go to
classes, or we’ll be late. Sure! We’re here. What is that? A sport facility. We
rehearse here in the summer. So, we’re gonna have a picnic here. Well, something like that.
There, the guys are here. Hey, dogs. Are you hungry?
I’ve brought you something. What’s up? – What’s up?
– Hey. This is Vlada. Hi there. – Anton.
– I’m Sanya. Why are we wasting our time? Let’s unpack. Doesn’t it bite? He won’t. Take it! Give me. What is that? A small stove. Yeah, guys, I can see
you’ve decided to settle own here! We’re all about settling down.
Are there going to be more people invited? By the way, Vlada has two very
pretty girlfriends. She does? Why aren’t they here? They’s studying. Studying hard. Look, Lesha, you should invite
them to the art cafe tonight. If they’re as pretty
as Vlada. We’re all for! Vlada, will you invite them? I can’t promise anything. I’m telling you, they’re nerds. By the
way Katya seems to have a special someones. Well, she’s out then.
We don’t need ‘special someones’. Here we go! There aren’t any rats, are there? Nope. Oy, Slava’s partying hard. She must be hopping on one leg. For a man like Kolesnikov
I would be hopping too! Why are you all over him?
So he plays and sings! But he will end up as a boring auditor. Kat, are you jealous of Katya? Of what? Serezha and I will win the competition
and my life will be totally different. Who’s saying you won’t?
Do you even like him? Who? Why, Pomerantsev, of course. Well, I don’t know. Sure, with him
it’s completely different than it was… With who? Than it’s written in the books.
Well, it’s life. In real life all feelings
are bound to die out and all you’re left with is boredom and disappointment.
And if you share the same interest as a person, just like I do with Serge, it will make
the life vivid and packed with events. Today we’re going to a
photograph exhibition. We’re going to see what women wore
in the beginning of the XX century. By the way, I need to get ready. Well, get ready. But it seems to me
that nothing happens without love. Love can work wonders.
I’m telling you as a chemist. You’re a chemist-romantic!You
don’t know life. It’s like you know it! Since we’re on it, recently it looks like
you’re not 19, you’re thirty five. Guys! Hi! Oh! You can’t imagine
what I found out. Well, if you tell us, we will. Lesha, sure, is a great guy,
but he’s so stupid! I mean, he had a fight with his Dad
over his music, and he abandoned the family business. He’s living at
some sport center with a toilet and a shower outside! Well, it happens. Yeah, it does! But it will different! I will tell him what to do,
he will be a banker. Well, maybe you shouldn’t. I think that a person
should do what he likes to do. And I think that Kolesnikov
should do what I need him to! Well, why are you standing here?
Go turn on your curling iron, chemistry! Your word is my command, master. That’s it. Yes! Do you know the motto
of these beauties of the Silver Age is? You need to suffer to become beautiful! And to be beautiful —
you need to be born beautiful! Right! You saw them cinching in
their waists to non-human sizes. 40-42 centimeters! It turns out, their waist was
slightly wider than the necks of their fans! I would die! That’s what I’m talking about. But it’s beautiful! Eh. You, women, are
mysterious creatures. Yes, we are. I’ve always been curious about the
mystery of the women’s logic. I don’t think it will be
discovered till the end of time. Oh, Katya, wanna have some coffee? It’s this new art cafe in the city.
They say it’s a great place. Look, what day is it today? Wednesday. Let’s go. They don’t sing today! I don’t get the logic. Wednesday, you say? Anyway, what is to be, will be! What? Hi! Hi, cutie. Are you here too? Yeah. We went to an exhibition.
So, we decided to come here. Well, let’s go! This is our table. Careful. Lesha, this is Serge.
Katya’s boyfriend. Hey, Lesha. Serge. Sergey. It’s a very beautiful song.
I’ve never heard it before. Thank you. Sure, he just wrote it. He did? Both lyrics and music? Both lyrics and music. Wow. Amazing. I even imagined
a new collection. Defile to that rock and roll. I wanted to
do that to a McCartney song. McCartney is awesome! I would do anything
to get to watch him perform! Leave it. McCartney
will perform at the Main Square. McCartney? At the Main Square?
You’re daydreaming, Katya. Serge, you forgot
she’s a psychic. Hi, everyone. Lesha, your Dad called,
he wanted to tell you that tomorrow he’s busy so you’ll have
to go to meet Mom’s flight from London. Okay. Yeah. Great. Girls. There will be no flights from
London tomorrow. The main computer of the National Air Traffic
Control broke down. Well, I told you she’s a psychic. Well, why not? I can
predict a lot of things. Who needs your predictions, Kat? I do. You’re going to be an auditor. Yeah right! But I’m going to have it
the other way around. Well, we’ll see. No, I’m not going to be an auditor or
another financial expert guy ever. Like never, ever. Why are we talking about distant future?
Tell me will Lesha pass tomorrow’s round of that musicians’
competition or not? You’re not going to believe it anyway. I won’t! Serezha, let’s go, we
have classes tomorrow. But still? If you want the truth, no, you won’t. Bye. Well, don’t listen to her. You’ve got the
most talent than any other person on Earth! Sure, you’ll pass. Lesha. Hello. Tell me
which class is for clothing designers? One thirteen. Thank you. Kat! Kat, hi! Hi. Slava’ll be here any minute. I came for you. Why’s that? How did you find out about the issues
with the London Air Traffic Control? The flights were actually cancelled
due to the system failure. Yeah, and I didn’t pass that round. Some guys told me it was all known before
it even began. Where did you come from? Is that what you want to ask me? Frankly, no. It’s so cool that you’ve
come to pick me up! Hi. Hi. Bye, Katya! Bye. Katya. Hi. Bye. Bye. Look, they’re so in love.
True love. I’m jealous. In a good way, of course. Tamara, the key. Should I sign here? Yes. Katya! Kat! I can’t catch up with you! Serezha, I’m sorry. I have to go. Katya, Katya, Katya! We won! We won!
Our collection won! We’re going to Milan!
We must go to the Fashion House now! Let’s go! Let’s go! Well, how’s the competition? You passed? I didn’t. So what if you didn’t win.
Life doesn’t stop there, does it? You should make up with your
Dad and get down to business. And you can work on your music
in your spare time. You can’t live off your music. Right. Are you going to open the
door for a lady, no? Sorry. Okay, okay. She did predict it all. Katya? It’s a coincidence.
Or autotraining. Are we going out tonight? I’m sorry, I have some
things to do. Well, are you going to at
least give me a ride home? Yes, sure. I need to take it easy on him. There do our winners! Congratulations! Thank you! Thank you! You’ve done so much for us! Milan Fashion Week!
It’s a step into another reality! Well, go find the money for that new reality! What money? How much? The entry fee
8,000 dollars. Eight thousand dollars? Our Fashion House doesn’t have that much money. I
wish you good luck. Have a nice day. Good bye. – Have a good day.
– Good luck, guys! We don’t have it either. Anna! Wanna go to the movie? Or the art cafe? No, Serezha. Well, maybe… I’m sorry. I want to be by myself. I’ll make something up! Katya? Hi. Hi. What are you doing? Walking. Grab ice stakes. Let’s go skating. Ah, no, no, no. Look, it’s Greta that we’ve met. We didn’t
finish that conversation in the institute. Cheer up. Next
year you’ll pass. With a different song. Is that consolation or prediction? Which one do you like best? Prediction.
Wanna have some tea? Sure. I’ll change out of the skates.
Will you wait for me? I’ll be right there. Agreed. Hey. Valeria. Do we know each other? Ah, never mind. Two teas, please.
Raspberry and ginger with lemon. Okay. – There you go.
– Thank you. – Did you take it?
– I did. How much? – Thank you. Keep the change.
– Thank you. – Is that yours? That’s mine.
– Yes. – Have a good night.
– Thank you. You’re full of surprises.
How come you know that I love ginger tea? I know a lot about you. I’m getting scared. Will you tell me? I might… Later. Why not now? I’m not in the mood. Psychics also have issues, don’t they? We do! You wouldn’t believe! I wonder what it is? I thought I could change my destiny but… But… There are circumstances
beyond my control. What kind of circumstances? Serezha Pomerantsev are I won
a competition for young designers. And we got a prize – a trip
to the Milan Fashion Week. Well, that’s great! Congratulations. But we’re not going. Why? It turned out we need to pay
a lot of money for it. How much? I won’t tell you. Well, I’m just interested. Never mind. Forget about it. – Lesha.
– What? What’s going on between you and Vlada? Nothing. She’s not my type. Look, maybe I should… hit on her. Be my guest. And Katya’s your type? I don’t know. No, I’m serious, what’s up? Okay, I got it. Let’s get together tomorrow? Vlada, Katya. Great idea. I’ll call the girls. Do that. Good evening.
Alexey, we need to talk. We have nothing to talk about, Dad. I’ll go have a walk. I was told that you wanted to borrow
a loan from our bank. Why? What difference does it make? You told them
not to give me any money. You’re not going to answer, are you? I’m not. Okay. Wait. But I have a
proposal for you. What proposal? You give me the money, and starting from the 15th of March
I’ll start working at your bank. Our bank. Why the 15th? I’ve got a contract with the
art cafe till the 14th. Okay. Agreed. And here’s one more thing,
first, go back home. And second, Inga’s
asking about you all the time. That provision
was not included in the deal terms. So, Inga and her Dad are all on you. Look, Alexey, if you and Inga
get married, in a year… That’s a pity, they’re unwantedly rich. It’s their fault, not the trains. It’s the trains, don’t you preach. We’re here. Get in. Here? Yes. Here, here. Come on.
Take this thing away. Yep. Oy, Slava, where are we? Slava. Vladislava.
Are you even my girlfriends? True girlfriends
help their true girlfriends. And finally you have a chance
to meet some great guys. Not your nerds and squirrels. I don’t see any traces of life here.
Are you sure we are where we’re supposed to be? Exactly where we’re supposed to be! There it is right in front of us,
the house of my future millionaire. Wow, what a sight! And the air!
Let’s do it together, breathe in! Good. You feel the oxygen, don’t you? I do. And the barbecue is almost ready! Awesome! Hey, guys! There you go. Oh! Thanks. Hi. It’s Nadya and Katya. I’m Anton. A very good engineer.
This is Sanya. A future world-known psychologist. Come on, what’s wrong with you? Stop it. Well, guys, should
we start with some champagne? Yes. I’d like some pie, please. Let me help you take it off. So, are you telling me
that this is my husband? No. Your husband’s name is Igor. I
told you. Fall. Students’ conference. Right. Katya, look, the conference
was actually rescheduled to September. How did you know that? It doesn’t matter. Come on in, guys. I’m suggesting a toast
to the master of this cave. Great toast! I wish you muses whispering in your ears various jazz,
rock and roll tunes! Right? Right! Cheers! The muse is ready! Engineers, by the way,
also need muses! I brought you the best! Well, here’s to muses! To muses, yes! Will you play for us? With pleasure. I just wrote
this new song. Tokh, will you help me? Sure! So far,
I wrote just a couple lines. If breeze and earth and sea don’t serve us anymore. If ocean and moon are in fight, and waves hit rocks. Well, that’s it for now. In silence
our two stars dissolve. We can’t change the lapse of time, there’s one thing that I know, I will love you for all time. To love? Why now? Yeah, why now? Yeah, they are great guys. Funny guys. Katya, are you sure my husband’s name
will be Igor? I’m sure. And there’s more,
he’s Sanya’s classmate. Wow! So, I just need to wait a little bit more. You better tell her not to steal
other girls’ guys. Especially, her girlfriends’ guys. So? The squirrel’s out?
You’re not going to Milan? Pomerantsev’s going to do great without me. And I’m going to figure out who I’ll be
talking to and where I’m going to fly to. Okay? Who cares? You just leave Kolesnikov alone.
He’s my winning ticket! Okay? Are you blind, Vladislava? What are you saying? That’s it, break. I don’t want to be here. I’m sorry, Kat, but…
it was too much. Kat, are you avoiding me? I miss you so much. Our talks. Our connection. Are you upset about Milan? We’re still going to get there
sooner or later. I’ve got so many new ideas. And I really want to discuss them with you.
To know your opinion. Kat! Serezha, I’m sorry. I need to finish the dress before the exam. Interesting. Who transferred
that much money? I did. What for? It doesn’t matter. I thought we don’t keep
secrets from each other. Every person has
his secrets. I thought we’re a couple. ‘A couple’, Vlada, what
are you talking about? Yes. Okay. I agree. I’m wrong.
You’re a creative person. Your mood changes. You know?
But I’ll do my best. We’ll make it work. Vlada, you’re a wonderful person.
A very beautiful girl. You’ll meet your match.
But it’s not me. I’m sorry. So that’s it? That’s it. Right? Okay. Great. You go sing your
stupid little songs! Freak! Great. Well, bye. Oh, Sanya called me again. Maybe I should tell him to introduce me
to his classmates already? Wait. Slava, what’s the matter with you? What, Slava? What? I’ve told you
many times, I’m Vladislava! Idiots! Vladislava! Get lost! Katya, Katya, Katya, Kat!
It’s a miracle! Look here! The money for us? Yes! Yes! Just the amount
we need to go to Milan! Where from? I don’t know. Anna told
that it might be some kind of a sponsor. Well, she told me that it happens. I don’t… Yes! Oh my God! You with champagne and
chocolates! Good boy! We’re celebrating! We’re celebrating! Put glasses on the table!
Pour the champagne! Now. Now. Eight thousand!
Wow! Guys. – Hi.
– Hi. Vlada forgot her purse. Thank you. Come in. You’re right on time. What happened? We’ll tell you.
Okay, okay. Don’t hesitate. Yeah, and the most important part is: I walk
in the Fashion House to pick up my sketches, and I meet Director Anna,
so she shows me this paper, and my vision blurs.
Eight thousand dollars! Eight! Lesha, can you imagine?
They’re going to Milan! Congratulations. Thank you, Lesha! Thank you! How long are you going to
act a fool, Kolesnikov? Vlada. So that’s who you transferred eight thousand
dollars to? You wanna be all noble and stuff? Be my guest. But you’re gonna kick yourself
later. Do you think she needs you? Do you think she needs your songs? All she wants
is your money, and you’ve given it to her! And you know what she needs the
squirrel for? To become famous. Right, Katya? Have you thought it all
through? Good for you. Screw you all. That’s nonsense. Okay, I gotta go.
Have a good trip. Lesha! That’s not true. Where did he…
Where did he get the money from? Sanya told me on the phone that Lesha
seems to have taken a job at Dad’s bank. They made some kind of a deal. Serezha, give me that paper. Kat, where are you going? Save my family. Did you get anything? What family? Are you vacant? Let’s go.
I’ll show you the way. Ekaterina! Lady, where are you going? To see Andrey. Security! Andrey, I’m your
future daughter-in-law. My name is Katya. And Lesha and I are getting
married in three months. What? But that’s not why I’m here.
I want to give you our money back. Lesha borrowed it for me,
but I don’t need it. Lady, I’ve never seen you before. Right. I hope you know what to
do to return it to the bank. Now your deal with Lesha is off.
He doesn’t have to work for you. Get out of here! I will. But you need to know that Lesha will never marry your
partner’s daughter. He will not abandon me.
And it’s going to be different from now on! I will make my dream come true! But
Lesha is… He is very talented! I will make everything
it takes for him to become a musician! Is that all you wanted to say? No. I love your son very much! Kat! Katya! Kat! Are you okay? What was it? An explosion? And then… There was no explosion. And you… You came back. I didn’t go anywhere. Katya, it’s okay.
It’s just Mitrofanov, he experimented with nitrous oxide.
So you got a little high. What year is it? Wow! Let’s go have some milk.
It’s poisoning. I have to see him right now.
I wish nothing changed. Kat! Where are you going, Kat? Lesha! Hello. Hello, Mon amour. It’s Pomerantsev! Serezha? Yep! My assistant
just gave me your card and two marvellous, cute folders. One folder
is a work by a mature designer. The other one is like breeze from the sea! Serezha, I’m so happy to hear you! But… Katya, we gotta put it to work right now! It’s the breeze that has to be put to work. And about the mature designer, anyway,
she has other plans for her life. Oh, sweetie! Okay.
I’m putting breeze to work. Alexey hasn’t had too many
new songs recently. But today he’s got a present for us!
A Valentine’s Day present. Welcome! As I was flying over the world, I didn’t see my friends get Grey as days passed by.
And in the world of fairytales I can’t be played. No, I can’t be played. – Hi.
– Hi. Where’s your table? Over there. Could you bring me a mic? – Sure.
– Thanks. [It’s not for nothing…] Oh how I need some slings and wings.
And breeze. I will not trade for anything. – Hi.
– Hi. – How are you?
– I’m fine. Thanks. Your name is sacred, you have been through it all and by my side.
And after all this time, our house’s not too small for us.
What else is there to ask for? What else is there to ask for?


86 thoughts on “Если бы Да кабы (2016). Фильм. Романтическая Комедия. Star Media”

  • МаРьЯнА МэРи says:

    А что в 2000-м были другие деньги? Почему у героини не приняли в баре купюру 1997 года выпуска?

  • грифон тв онлайн says:

    Ну и бездарный фильм..Безликие актрисы, плоские диалоги. Одноразовый…

  • не знаю а мне понравился, душевная история, лёхкая. Только из суслика мажор никакой…

  • Kostya Akimov says:

    В конце выбежала с сумкой по площади уже без сумки а затем снова с сумкой.

  • Malika Tadjieva says:

    Какая то секретутка, дизайнеру, можно сказать главному технологу производства (а это руководящая должност) говорит разные колкости! Надо же так фильм снять!

  • валерий сухов says:

    Наконец посмотрел хороший фильм,приятный и без чернухи.Спасибо!!

  • Irisha Irisha says:

    Хорошо, что главная героиня всё поняла) Мне фильм понравился.

  • Виктория Малина says:

    Отличный фильм, добрый и понятный. Заставляет задуматься о том, что на самом деле дорого в жизни, порой в суете об этом забываешь. Люблю на кухне под такие фильмы что-то готовить, быстрее и легче всё получается 😀 нелепила целую кучу пельменей 😁😂😂😂😂😂 выбрала первое попавшеееся и не ошиблась👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍

  • в 2000 вообщето-то уже были мобильные даже у студентов, а тут пейджер у следователя))))

  • Добрый Человек says:

    Класс!Любовь самое хорошее что есть на земле.Добра вам!!!

  • Larisa Grishko says:

    Хороший фильм, спокойный, заставляет задуматься, надо беречь,что имеем……

  • krTatiana1960 says:

    Получила массу удовольствия от просмотра ! Фильм лёгкий и добрый , о настоящих чувствах которые принесешь через всю жизнь .

  • У них нет одноразовых подгузников и стиральных машин? 😳Во всем мире женщины рожают не принося себя в жертву и практически не меняя ритм своей жизни, а тут прямо ужас ужасный 😂

  • Дарья Мурашко says:

    Боже мой я сидела смотрела этот фильм и думала надо потом посмотреть универ и смотрю на эту Надю и понимаю что она Яна из универа, я просто ахнула😲😲😮😮 она когда в очках вообще не похожа😐😐

  • Во прогресс, 10 лет всего))) а и не заметно как то (в смысле по себе) 😣как время летит

  • Василёк Полевой says:

    Я думала, что комедия это когда смешно, а здесь ничего смешного, не грустный конечно. А вообще фильм понравился. Спасибо!

  • вадим муратов says:

    терпеть не могу.. оголеное плечо….у меня то же постоянно трусы набок…А ?? так и хочеться поправить…

  • Эльмира Баскакова says:

    Добрый и светлый фильм, про жизненные ценности. Которые с годами мы начинаем забывать)
    Но до меня так и не дошло: официантка – это кто из будущего?

  • Юлдуз Акболатова says:

    Жаль не локонов раскрыли второстепенных героев,как там у Славы,почему двоечник стал богатым,как этот суслик стал великим критиком и тд

  • Vusal Ibrahimov says:

    Надо было долларами закупиться ) Ну или эти 8000 долларов вложить на акции Apple например ))) А так фильм не плохой, но более девчачий )

  • Алла Терещенко says:

    Спасибо.общежитие напомнило мне дни в хабаровском технологическом колледже .скучаю по своей юности.

  • шурочка иванова says:

    Много непоняток и недосказок…. А вообще-то не правда – нереализовавшаяся женщина не совершила бы ту же ошибку из-за лирики))) она попёрла бы как танк к цели!! Поэтому фильм неправда!))) Ни из-за какой любви не вернулась бы она на швейную фабрику!

  • Светлый фильм. Сюжет с возвращением в прошлое и переосмысление настоящего использован на редкость удачно, без излишеств и чернухи.

  • не поняла поросячего восторга от фильма. чушь фантазийная. У всех в школе/институте были такие "ботаники" с которыми никто общаться не хотел,зато потом если этот человек добился успеха,сразу ищут знакомств или напоминают о себе,неприятные людишки.

  • Фильм сначала понравился, но в конце все приятное чувство рассеилось в мгновение ока, когда главная героиня отказалась от уже готовой карьеры, того чего она так всю жизнь хотела непонятно из-за чего. Какая -то глупая фантазия режиссера мужчины чтобы женщина мечтала только рожать детей.

  • Наталья Безденежных says:

    Очень добрый и романтический фильм, заставляет задуматься о том, что действительно ценно и дорого. Порой стремясь за своей мечтой, не замечаем важности того что есть.

  • Наталья Ф. says:

    Всего – то 16 лет прошло с 2000, а удивляются новым вещам и словам, словно никогда ничего не видели и не слышали.

  • А да, я это уже видел… у меня плохая память на названия имена как у большинства людей… У людей оч хорошая зрительная память, а абстрактные типы практически не развиты… Слуховая на 2-ом месте… Самая плохая это тактильная… Это тоже вид абстрактной памяти. Чуть получше память на номера и цифры. Все эти виды памяти люди не развивают… Развитие их сводится их к сведению к зрительной памяти. Но есть и другие методики, менее эффективные, но зато более передовые… При длительных тренировках можно достичь большего результата, чем так…

  • Liudmila Chibizova says:

    Хороший, добрый фильм! Показывает как важно любить и быть любимым! Любить – значит ценить, чувствовать и быть способным на поступки во имя любви!

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